|Scroller Needing Therapy|
What are some of the worst films you've seen, either recently or in the long, long ago past? And what made them so very very bad?
|Scroller Needing Therapy|
I saw Behind Enemy Lines last night, for some reason. ugh. The 'good guy' can run around in the open and nobody seems able to catch up. The bad guys shoot at him with tanks and machine guns and sniper rifles and just can't seem to get him. He makes idiotic decisions and totally gets away with them. Also, the lines...the helicopter flies away and he screams "you gotta be sh*ttin' me!!!" at it. geez Plus, I was all distracted because the guy who hung himself in An Officer and a Gentleman is standing around in a Navy uniform.
'Sweet November'. Even though I adore Keanu Reeves, this was a really crap love story. I don't know why I didn't like it. I guess it was because there was hardly any storyline, nothing happened and there was no chemistry that makes love stories work. Another love story that failed because of the same reasons was 'Hope Floats' - that one with Sandra Bullock. Very disappointing to see, also.
I usually like most movies I see... at least to some extent, which is why i can't name many i don't like. I know how hard it is to make a movie likable to most genres of audiences...
Ulee's Gold. i read how good Peter Fonda's performance was supposed to be in this movie & rented the video.
It was sooooooo slow, so boring, and i didn't see
what the big deal about Fonda was in this movie.
I'll stick to the expensive catastrophes, cos they can't come up with any excuses for making a rotten movie, apart from the sheer incapability to make a good one.
The first true stinker that comes readily to mind is 'Blue Lagoon'. No comments necessary. Who's seen it will know what I mean, and who hasn't will be envied by me until the day I die.
Next one is 'Top Gun'. (a mix of Air Force recruitment video and cigarette commercial aesthetics.)
Took me almost 2 decades to be able to accept Tom Cruise as an actor again. Kelly Mc Gillis redeemed herself in full one year later, cos she made 'Witness'.
'Red Dawn' stays the classic blueprint for right wing wankers. John Milius at his worst.
The 'Rambos' fall in the same bracket, exept that Milius is a clever shit, and the makers of the Rambos are not so clever shits.
'Pearl Harbour' wears the crown for the most recent and most expensive bucket of bilge in this category.
Now, this one actually poses a special case. It's not really a bad movie, but it relies point for point on the classic Paul Newman movie 'Somebody Up There Likes Me'. It's one of the most shameless as well as shamelessly awarded rip-offs there is in movie history.
Now back to romance.
'The Wedding Planner'.
Uninspired, stupid, utterly boring, and sporting one of the worst scripts in this genre ever.
High gloss exercise in hypocritical mega-kitsch of the highest order. In a way the most conservative and preachy pile of steaming secretions from the moral code of the 50's.
Even a Doris Day movie is more honest.
'The Fast & The Furious'
Blatant, un-credited and FAR worse rip-off of 1987's 'No Man's Land', where Charlie Sheen played the Vin Diesel part.
Extremely uninspired, almost cynical 'blockbuster' from the drawing board.
Half a second's car action from 'Bullit' delivers more style and thrill than this sorry excuse for summer entertainment.
'Star Wars Ep II'
In a way even worse than ep I (which is an 'achievement' in itself). The acting finally sinks below General Hospital standard. The script sinks even lower.
I still can't quite fathom how it's possible that it was created by the same man who made the first SW trilogy.
Loss of innocence as well as spirit, I s'pose.... or simply greed and no talent beyond the original idea. (otherwise he would've hired a good writer again, like he did for 'Empire Strike Back' and not believed the hype about himself.)
Tomb Raider seems like a subtle masterpiece compared to this extremely boring merchandise rip-off extravaganza.
I know, the then obscene budget was only possible because Arnie was cast, but that should've meant that the film simply couldn't have been made. Sadly, it didn't.
Biggest laughs: Arnie trying to act grief, jealousy or Bond-like elegance and style.
Verhoeven's and Eszterhas's worst slip into raw anti-feminism. (They really don't like 'em, do they?) Rather an honest macho like Howard Hawks or Sam Peckinpah than this hateful tripe.
In a way even worse than the abysmal 'Basic Instinct'.
Well... it's a Glen A. Larson production, Hollywood's cheap copy king, so, no surprise there.
Another Star Wars rip-off posing serious danger to sane minds.
'The Black Hole'
Disney's first attempt at big scale SF. One of the all-time lowlights in SF history.
The most famous 100 minute trash soap opera of them all.
Trouble is, they meant it, so there's no excuse.
Any movie with Michael Dudikoff or Steven Segal.
You may be cruel Ulrich but your are also brave! I can't believe you went to see all those terrible movies! Some of your list I must admit to seeing myself- had to see the awful Starwars stuff and my huband rented Red Dawn (he likes military history- so for him it wasn't that bad).
I have to admit to liking Top Gun and True Lies, LIKE though, not love. They took me away and told a story which is sometimes all I ask.
The worst movie I ever rented was "Escape from Mars" -what was Jack Nickleson THINKING! Another in the worst catagory was Final Destination- and now they have a sequel out! OH this was just horrible! No story, no point, just accident after accident.
Most disappointing movie:
Has to be the remake of Oceans Eleven. I couldn't watch it all the way through! I turned it off just after Julia Roberts made her big enterance. Who cares? is all I could think. I got Blockbuster to give me another movie free.
The remake of 'A TIME MACHINE' completely sucks, cat and I shut it off and watched david letterman instead!
|Chief Chesty Forlock|
Oh yeah -- The Time Machine SUCKED!!
I can't remember the name of the worst film I ever saw, coz I switched it off half way through and blocked its title from my memory.
I think it could have been called something like "Summer Camp".
It was about, strangely enough, a Summer Camp for American children and had one of the Corey's in it (Hart or Haim I can't remember).
I have to also say that I'm not a big fan of "The Last Of The Mohikans", although I know that many folk loved it. Something to do with Daniel Day Lewis' chest, I believe.
quote:Good God, you're thinking of "Meatballs 4" with Corey Feldman. ~shudder~
I'm surprised noone has mentioned "Plan 9 From Outer Space" by Ed Wood. Probably because noone has actually seen it. For the record, I've seen it and it's HORRIBLE! It's so bad it's actually funny! ~lol~
"Jerry McGuire" (or is it Macguire...Maguire...whatever)
"Good Will Hunting"
never understood what ppl saw in these movies.
i didn't like the lead charcaters in either film.
JM was a totally unlikeable movie for me & GWH
seemed to miss it's point & went slowly drifting off...somewhere.
an old "classic"-
"It's A Wonderful Life"
i'd always heard "heart-warming" & "lift your spirits" describing this movie but i found it
nerve-wracking & downright depressing. If there's
supposed to be a life lesson in the plot, it was lost in the unreal build-up to the "angelic" fantasy part of the movie.
|Chief Chesty Forlock|
Oh yeah -- I'm with ya on "It's A Wonderful Life".
|<Breen from London>|
It's not fair to mention 'Plan 9 from Outer Space'. Lots of the other movies are peoples personal opinions, for everyone who says 'oh XXX was awful', someone else will say 'oh I loved XXX'.
But 'Plan 9 from Outer Space' is the OFFICIAL worst movie ever made ... well at least it's the official worst Sci-Fi movie ever made.
And I did see it.
Hmm, well let me see..
I dont know what everyone saw in Moulin rouge. I mean the song was good. but I had to turn the movie off. I dont know why it was suposed to be so good.
I also really really hate 'Natural Born Killers'
My friend alex absoulty LOVES it. It is 2 tapes too long of hickness. and I have seen the begining 2 many times and I have yet to remain to see that whole thing. and rellik agress with me lol
HEY! Natural Born Killers is good... Not that I've seen it, but I'm rooting for it anyway!
[ January 28, 2003, 01:07 AM: Message edited by: Nouchy ]
no no and no , Natural born killers is not good, it is long and full of these hicks, I mean it is a topic for fight club. it is so icky and twisted
THE worst movie of ALL time, HANDS DOWN, is "Dude, Where's My Car". I challenge ANY of you to beat that. I actually paid $8 to get into the movie, could not even sit through 10 mins. of it, so I left that theater, and sat down in a different movie. It SUCKED.
|Chief Chesty Forlock|
quote:They're making a sequel to be called "Seriously Dude, Where's My Car?"
I do not lie --> http://www.hsbr.net/servlet/readGenome?stock=MYCA2
Wait, why is my metal chair sticking to the soil? Oh, it's because hell just froze over. I can't believe a sequel is being made. I feel like the producer of that movie must think the general public's IQ is 20.
quote:Just to show you that every movie can have it's good points - even though I must agree with your list, these were all pretty damn bad.
'Red Dawn' - Harry Dean Stanton and the light blue Chevy 4X4 350 with the 6 inch lift and the 33 inch tires - what can I say, I had a black one just like it for over 15 years SOB would run the quarter mile in just under 14 seconds too - sorry I strayed..... anyhoo, back to the topic
'True Lies' - Jamie Lee Curtis atempting to strip.
'The Fast & The Furious' - the first song you here is Live.
Now I have to go hide. I should be ashamed that I remember that much
Oh and Ulrich, 'Bullit' is a favorite of mine.
My pics for the pathetic:
Soapdish - How could sucj an amazing cast make such a crappy movie. Only line worth a hoot - Sally Field as Celest, "I look like Gloria f***ing Swanson!"
'The Incredible Shrinking Woman' - I usually like Lily Tomlin, but that was just bad.
'Dying Young' - Ick.
'Bedazzled' - no comment - I couldn't finish it no matter how good Elizabeth Hurley looked
Cruel Intentions 2.
Oh dear god, why why WHY even bother with that movie? if you've seen it, you'll know what i mean, if you haven't thank god that your brain is still intact!
Its the most god awful excuse for a movie on this planet!
I really disliked "Wild At Heart", I thought it was lame. Same with Pulp Fiction, Clerks and a few other movies it seems that everybody else liked. I fell asleep watching PF!
As for movies being so cheesy they're actually fun to watch, for me there's always the Living Dead series and other horror movies. I also love '70s blaxploitation flix like Foxy Brown and '50s roxploitation/JD movies like Hot Rod Gang and Go Johnny Go. I tend to watch the '50s baddies mainly because some rock star I like is on them.
Monster's Ball....waste of good money and actors..
quote:I agree with you 100% !!!
SHALLOW HAL is one of the worst though
I thought Monster's Ball was supposed to be good...simply because Halle Berry was so acclaimed in it (and she won an Oscar (? is that the right award?) for it).
quote:yes, evilswine , but she's the WORST actress in hollywood
[ February 13, 2003, 06:36 PM: Message edited by: ArtemisRed ]
|Powered by Social Strata|