|Chief Chesty Forlock|
To refresh your memory, these tasks MUST be completed by the end of Saturday (Scroll Time) each week, for you to stay in the race:
1. There will be a 'Story' thread in Fiction and Poetry that you must contribute to TWICE a week, on different days, as the character you have been assigned.
2. Your must write in a diary thread as often as you like. Write in character in your diary, commenting on the action in the story thread, sharing your personal thoughts about aspects of the race, etc.
In addition, you must also complete a weekly task, by the end of each Saturday (Scroll Time).
FOURTH WEEKLY TASK
For your third task we have given you eight pictures.
We want you to post a story, using EVERY ONE of the pictures, adding your own subtitles. You can add extra information to the story that doesn't appear in the pictures, and you may use the pictures in any order you wish.
YOU MAY NOT use any characters that have appeared ANYWHERE in the Race Around Ancient Greece in ANY part of your story.
Here are the pictures:
DON'T FORGET! Points will be awarded by Zeus and Hera for the most CREATIVE contributions, each week.
The person with the least points at the end of each week will be DISPATCHED!
In addition, those who don't fulfill all their tasks by week's end will also be BOOTED.
ONE LAST THING!! There will be a double eviction from the race this week. That means that TWO people will be DISPATCHED!
The race continues ... can you survive?
|Chief Chesty Forlock|
By the way, that ISN'T Xena or Autolycus, for the purpose of your story.
the two archeological grad students were puzzled by their find. in an area that looked for all the world like it had been an ancient public restroom they had unearthed several bits of parchment. at first they assumed it was many pieces of one scroll. but the text made little sense any way they pieced it together. this is the best way they could figure it might read:
...a large figure covered in fur approached them and said..."Baille! dance everyone! dance!" his codpiece was so large i thought it had been made from a real cod...that convinced Meleager that he had to get out of this cell before...the blindfolded Amazon walked bravely across the sand to meet the...brassy, fire-haired woman warrior from her past in a...giant of...another surprise entrance by Meg...that startled the strange figure in black...
the students ultimately decided not to turn in this text with their other findings from the site, but, being fantasy geeks on the side, to use it instead as source material for the TV show they eventually created about a 4th century B.C. gay nightclub performer and his monkey side kick.This message has been edited. Last edited by: zoom,
WHAT WOULD XENA DO?
are you sitting on the soap?
sometimes, you just have to say 'what the f...'
Thank a'you, now, for my next a'number, I will sings a ballad...a true story ballad-
"I was a'prisoner for your love-ove-ove-ove...
They locked a'me away for killin' my first precious turtle dove-ove-ove-ove...
"She was a fightin' machine beyond compare-are-are-are..
Buts i hated her long unruly hair-air-air-air...
"So's i had a giant stomp her butt in the ground-ound-ound-ound
Her body it was a'never found-ound-ound-ound
"There was a witness who heard her scream-eam-eam-eam
But this a-witness was a-blind, could not see-ee-ee-ee
"I ran to you, my love, you leapt half naked for joy-oy-oy-oy
But not for me, alas, you had a new boy toy-oy-oy-oy
"I went to a-magic reformer, i asked him for help-elp-elp-elp
He says, 'on that lady who betrayed you, i now cast a spell-ell-ell-ell'
"To change her into a-hairy dude, hairy from head to feet-eet-eet-eet
And to scares away everyone that he happen to meet-eet-eet-eet"
Now da moral of dis story-ballad es- don't kill the one you're with til you knows for sure the one you want really wants you. Or something likes dat"
The Zoar Wars
By Acmar Belzar
It was in the winter of 1284 that my father lost favor with the god Zoar.
And wound up in prison.
My ambitious father, once king of Acmore, had lost everything to his larger and more powerful brother.
But my father was smarter than him, and promised that if he became king he would give one of his daughters to Zoar in return. The god was fond of hearty women so he decided on Gareth, my oldest sister to wed.
But Gareth, was a warrior like my father’s brother and refused to honor the agreement. This started the Zoar wars.
Many women were enslaved during this time and brought to Zoar for service. But none would pay homage to him as he desired.
So my father enlisted a magician to convince Gareth to wed Zoar.
But his spell fell on his youngest daughter Eliza and she went hog wild for Zoar.
This made her betrothed very upset and he ran off to join a gypsy troop.
Thus ended the Zoar wars.
My father was let out of prison and his daughter had lots of little monkey faced kids. That’s why it is said of children that they sometimes act like a barrel of monkeys!
LOVE IS THE WAY...
Enter The Higher Realm Here
|Scroller Needing Therapy|
Damn I'm good. HEHEHEHEHEHEHEH.
I always rob mansions. Deep in the woods. I'm a hiker you see. I trek the wild woods in search of mansions no normal human being can find. I'm the best female burgler I know. Call me Jana. Jana Fignewton.
Everybody knows my name.
But no one has found me yet. I always do my jobs and then take off just as the clueless inhabitants are waking up. I usually just go right through the window. Using nothing but a hairpin of course. And i always keep plenty of doggie treats laced with sedatives to keep the pups shut up.
So far, I haven't failed yet!
This last mansion for example. I have a little camper I keep parked out of sight. THat camper has more dvd players, computers, stereos, game boys than I can count. I don't need any more.
No--I need some greenery to decorate my home with.
I have plans to sell half the dvds, the computers, the stereos, the game boys. Sell them all to a pawn shop. Get a few smackaroos for them.
But lo! What to my wandering eye should find--when I went into this last mansion! A photo album, sitting prettily on the coffee table. For some reason curiosity got the better of me. So what hoppen? I pick it up--and drop it by mistake. More greenery than I ever saw in my life comes splaying all over the place.
8 THOUSAND SMACKEROOS!
I grab it carefully and stuff it into my jacket. i'm about to leave the photo album but--naaa, it's a nice cover, maybe I can get some money for it, especially if there's nudies in there!
I exit, and no one even wakes up! I don't have to run from anyone. I run and then slow down to a hike, getting to my camper at last. I tear out of the woods. Once outa there--I grab some leftover rum, put the bottle to my lips and swig.
THere's nothing on TV. No movies I'm in the mood to watch. The music needs replacing and the games have all gone sour.
But there's this photo album. So--I turn to look inside.
What is this, the Ren Faire?? Gotta love that breast plate. I wonder if I dare rob that house again and see if I can find it! And that sword! Too cool.
He reminds me of my last boyfriend. Hairy, grumpy and rather short on manners.
He reminds me of my first boyfriend. All muscles, pompous attitude, and great legs.
Errrmmmmm--not too fond of this one. HAven't seen the place behind bars for a good while--can't say I miss it either. In fact last time I was in there, a particularly obnoxious guard looked exactly like....that.*shudder*
Now THIS is more like it! Reminds me of my old singing days, in this little club in Philly close by Kensington. I did everything, jazz, fusion, even a lil opera! Oh they loved me, they really loved me!
WHAAAAT? How'd my sister get in here?
Oh wait, that's not her, phew, it sure looks like her tho! That's something she'd do, too, bleeh--likes to wear next to nothing that one does, might as well be cake icing!
Wow, love that hat--WHERE did this guy get it? I must find that. I think I will go back to this house and see if I can...hmmmm, much later. Kind of a cutie too, this guy--he can work his magic on me anytime!
Nice outfit--too bad she can't see it! Then again is that blindfold see thru? How can this chick walk like that without stumbling over? I dun get it.
Hmmmm. Nice photos. THe rest? nudies. Don't know if I should show ya lol--well--if ya give me another 8 thousand smackers--I may just be able to be talked into it!
Til then--I'm gonna turn in. Been a long eventful day--and a job well done!
Now where's that other bottle of rum....
"Ultimately, the truth will come out in all of this and I will be standing on the right side of the roaring rapids. I hope other people will be too. I know the truth and if I had to walk away from all of it today, the job, the career, all of it, and go toodle-oo, then fine."
The wanderer had seen many things in his travels all over the world, but what he saw that day in the prison at Alphadelacus amazed him.
During the festival of Hermes, the wardens gave special treatment to the prisoners who had to spend their days inside. They brought in entertainment to cheer the lives of those who would otherwise despair.
But this was not the most amazing thing that the wanderer had ever seen, though it was indeed, somthing.
"My Brother!" cried he. For it was indeed true. The once mighty Greek hero and the odd looking monkey man were brothers who had long ago argued and sworn never to speak to eachother again.
"What brings you to this apparently happy, but ultimately sad place?"
"It's a long story...as all stories about decline are." replied the once mighty hero.
It started with a woman...the woman I fell in love with. Her people were in trouble....
A giant was threatening her village. This would have been no problem for the fair maiden, for she was a powerful warrior and could have easily dispatched the monster.
But the giant had kidnapped the warrior woman's sister and had left her trapped on a beach in a cove she could not escape before the tide turned. He had bound her wrists and ankles so that she could not swim.
I enlisted the aid of an old friend. Who snuck into the giant's camp and performed the dance of whipped dessert products. She found out where the sister was being held and the warrior woman and I rescued her. I was escorting the sister to a healer while the warrior woman returned to her village to deal with the giant. Unfortunately, we ran into the Reverend Uptight Moralist who rules this village. He saw me with a scantily clad young woman in shackles and assumed the worst. And so I've been stuck here ever since.
The wanderer was indeed sad that his brother had come to such a sad state and was about to offer words of comfort, but the Reverend Uptight Moralist suddenly strode in.
"Brothers and Sisters! It is now the time of the Festival of Hermes. We have entertained you and now we release you back into the world. Do no more harm and you need never worry about spending any more time here. Screw it up again, and we'll make you one of the performers for next year's festival!"
TRANSCRIPT TAKEN FROM THE CONFERENCE ON ANCIENT GRECIAN MENTAL HEALTH. Guest Speaker: Dr. Livia von Krankenkopf
"As you can see esteemed colleagues, we are presented with evidence of multiple neuroses, proving indisputably that even in ancient times, humans have struggled with mental health issues. I'd like to take a moment to thank the gracious Drs. Covington and Pappas for the use of their fascinating and priceless ancient paintings and scroll portraits. Thank you Drs."
"Now, moving on, we see the first example of documented female misplaced rage syndrome:"
Note how the subject has taken to wearing armor and carrying a sword, very masculine in her features and stance. It appears she fancied herself a warrior after traumatic events prompted her to cast off the typical female role in ancient society. Fascinating."
"Moving on, we have a classic case of a sexual identity crisis:"
"It's glaringly obvious that this man felt as if he were a woman trapped in a man's body. Note the large, lacy sleeves, and the exceedingly tight pants. Classic signs of inadequacy and of course, color blindness. Had this poor boy been privy to the services today, I think you and I both know, colleagues, he would've never used both feathers and a cravat of lace." [laughter amid the audience]
"Here we have a case of giantism:"
"Note that this so called giant is just suffering from a chemical imbalance in the pituatary gland. Yet because medicine was so primitive, he grew to phenomenal heights. Ridiculed and shunned by others, he turned to a life of crime and of violence to compensate for societal acceptance. Truly sad."
Next slide, please. Here's yet another case of...good lord, how did that get in here?"
"Um, begging everyone's pardon, that's my brother dressed up as a grim reaper for Halloween. I'm terribly sorry, I do not know how that got in there. And I think we don't have enough hours in the day to go over his issues." [More laughter from audience]
"Right then, next slide please. Ah yes, a most interesting case. The unbridled growth of body hair:"
"Ridiculed as a child, this man took to the trees. It says in notes here that he spoke often of cruelty from humans, saying such things as 'ape man, shag rug, etc' so he just assumed the lifestyle of a primate. I do believe he may have been one of the first practicing Judaists. Note the yarmulkka and the long forelocks."
"Ah, here we are, a most interesting study. The world's first documented nymphomaniac. Seen here:"
"Obviously using sex as a way to fill the void in her empty life, this young woman was apparently a pioneer in the erotic dancing industry. I do believe that her descendants are suing and trying to patent her whip cream bikini. Amazing colleagues, what people will do for money these days." [Murmurs of agreement from audience]
"Next please. Here's a case of the criminally insane, though personally I'd say criminally inept:"
"This man was caught several times pilfering things in broad daylight, public drunkeness, public lewdness, assault, the list goes on and on. Apparently, he was using petty crimes in order to gain attention and notoriety. He just wasn't very good at it. Sad, really."
"Our last slide of the presentation, shows a truly tragic case. Seen here:"
"A delusional woman, so lost in her mania, she lost herself to the voices in her head. It seems that before she left on her 'heroic quest', the voices demanded she walk blind folded off a cliff. If she were truly a hero, she would either magically survive the fall or float on the air. Needless to say, she did not do either. She had no family, according to notes, she was an Amazon warrior eager to prove herself. It says her tribe noted she was always mentally unstable and prone to fits of hysteria and dementia. Indeed, if only there'd been a good psychologist back in those days, the lives we might have saved." [Scattered applause]
"Well that concludes our conference presentation. I'd like to thank you all for coming. Thanks to the Drs. Covington and Pappas again. We'll see each other in Boston in April for the Annual Conference on Ancient Sexual Habits and Mentality Expo. Be sure and pick up my new book 'Hercules in Bed', it's also available on audiobook as well. Thank you."
[Dr. von Krankenkopf leaves stage amid thunderous applause]
I <3 4 foot 11, blonde, operatic wonders from Oklahoma.
There is no charge for awesomeness or attractiveness
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