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Xena's Private Tent

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26 January 2005, 04:53 PM
Xena
Xena's Private Tent
Mars...I can't believe it. I've had enough of the gods lately. They keep interfering with my life. This is getting so old.

Now where did I stick that Hind's blood dagger? I wonder if I really even need it, though. Mars is just such a pale imitation of Ares. I could always handle Ares. Mars seemed to fold up fairly quickly. Just couldn't take it anymore.

Does the chakram really give power? I don't why, but I don't think it really matters anymore--not to me. My soul feels...well..secure. I think that ritual Aphrodite told me about was a powerful one indeed. I wonder though, if the chakram can be re-keyed to someone else's soul.

hmmm...
31 January 2005, 06:00 PM
Xena
I've no business having children.

Eve...I suppose she died a long time ago. She died that day we tried to play a trick on the gods. Fate tricked us too. Fate is still up to her tricks. Bitch.

But I hoped, even when it was a foolish, empty hope, that my Eve would come back. That she'd work her way out of her disguise. I even thought I saw her once or twice.

Why? Why did I bring her into this world? Why did we struggle so hard to protect her? Why couldn't I save her?

What was I supposed to save her from? Mars? Alti? The gods? Herself?

From me?

I've no business having children.
01 February 2005, 11:03 PM
Xena
Gods...for someone who wasn't a very good mother, that maternal instinct sure rears its head at the oddest times.

I guess I'll go on. I have to.

Have to play with my disgusting toys I worked so hard to get. Was that for the greater good?

The greater good...that used to be so important to me. For awhile anyway. When did I lose sight of that? Did I ever really work for it? Was it the greater good or my own selfishness?

I'll go on if I have to...I can never pay back the world for all that I've done to it. Is that why I'm still riding? I'll never redeem myself is that why I'm still riding? If I stop riding have I been redeemed? Or have I just failed again?

One more thing. One more little thing that I can do to help repay my debts. I can stop Mars. I can hope that it leads to redemption--and maybe I'll stop riding. If I'm lucky.

But I'll go on if I have to.