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"Fins, Femmes and Gems"

Xena must get a "mystic diamond" back in the night sky as it's the north star.

Best: The only good thing was the hotness of Gabrielle

Worst: Ridiculous "plot"- if you'd call it a plot; the obsessions were not clever but stoopid; this ep must have been written with 4 yr olds in mind; they hit a new low with the Joxer storyline

Redemption score: 0

X&G ying/yang score: 6, Xena was too flakey, yeah she was obsessed but still...

Greater good comment: well they got the north star back but how the heck did those stoopid thugs get it as a diamond in the first place?

Diversity score: 6

Rating- 4.5 and that's being nice
 
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Episode 12: Beware Greeks Bearing Gifts

Wow. Helen of Troy. Amazing that Xena is friends with her even though they had their differences in the past.

Helen wakes up from a futuristic dream where she sees a warrior whose face is covered by armor standing in a lit doorway. The warrior fights and kills many men who scream in pain until she wakes up. Paris, her lover, tries to comfort Helen, but her fears will not go away. So she sends for Xena, who comes with Gabrielle to Troy, and they have to fight a whole army to get to the gate. Who do we meet there but Perdicus, Gabrielle's betrothed from Podiadaia, who is now a mercenary working for Troy. Perdicus sees Gabrielle and tells the guards to open the gates. They do, and while Gabs and Perdicus play catch-up, Xena, aided by Perdicus, goes to see Helen.

Helen wants to go visit King Menolaus to try to talk him into stopping the war on Troy. She was once promised to him as his Queen but ended up with Paris after the first war. But Paris doesn't love her anymore and Helen tells Xena this--they are little more than strangers, as Paris is obsessed with fighting, and has little time to listen to Helen or her feelings, let alone trust her judgments when it comes to that. Menolaus will not give up on Helen, so he is still waging war on Troy. At any rate, Xena convinces Paris's brother(I think his name was Matildias or Delphobus, can't remember and the cast list online doesn't help much. Razz ), that she is on their side against Menolaus, and will help any way she can if needed. However, Xena discovers that Paris's brother is a traitor working with Menolaus as she overhears a conversation between him and one of Menolaus's soldiers. Paris's brother announces to Helen, Paris and Xena that Menolaus has called off the war and wants peace. Xena tries to expose him as a traitor, only to get thrown in prison. She gets out cleverly, by fighting the rest of the prisoners and leaping up through the gaping hole that leads from the ceiling to outside. (Loved her leaning over the hole into the prison, saying, "Thanks, guys," hehe. Big Grin). So, now the famous Trojan Horse is brought out and Menolaus's men are hiding in the horse. They leap out and attack the Trojans, and King Menolaus demands that Helen be brought to him. Meanwhile, Xena, Gabrielle and Perdicus(who have bonded quite nicely during their time together while Xena handles the war stuff lol), all lead the Trojans into the Temple of Aphrodite where they barricade themselves inside. Menolaus's soldiers try to break down the barricaded door, and meanwhile, Paris realizes that Xena was on the level all along and apologizes to her. Xena tells him to apologize to Helen. Helen and Paris talk and Helen said that all he wanted to do was own her and if they both survive, she will not stay with him anymore, but will move on with her own life. Suddenly the door opens on the other side, and Helen's nightmare is realized, as, standing in the lit doorway is Paris's brother, the traitor! He kills Paris, then grabs Helen and says that HE is the only one who can have her. He snatches her out of the temple only to be met by Xena who says, "Leaving so soon?" Classic line. Big Grin Xena and Paris's brother fight, and that guy can FIGHT--for a scary moment I thought he'd get the advantage over Xena. But she does her awesome leaping up and running around the staff move(amazing how she does that), and ends up knocking Matildias-or-Delphobus down. He's unconscious, or dead, couldn't really tell, but Xena puts Helen's crown on him and says to Helen, "Menolaus will find him like this and probably be pleased. Yes--that looks good." Words to that effect. Haha! Paris's brother doesn't wake up when Xena and Helen leave, so I assume he might have been killed, or just very out cold.(would have been nice to know if he was dead or not--cuz I wouldn't have shed any tears if he was, lol. Razz )

So, Helen is free to do what she wants, now, although Troy is finished. Perdicus and Gabrielle, after kissing passionately in the temple when it seemed all was lost, decide to split up and go their separate ways, although Perdicus tells her they will meet again. Helen accompanies Perdicus to a new city he knows about. Gabrielle, before she and Xena leave, suggest they take the Trojan Horse out, as "it is a collector's item." Xena says sarcastically, "Only if YOU pull it." Gabrielle smiles and says, "Nah." And off they go!

Best parts:

Xena, Gabrielle and Perdicus jumping out of the Trojan horse to fight and defeat Menolaus's men before Xena goes and rescues Helen.

Perdicus and Gabrielle's kiss in the temple

Helen reclaiming her life, and thanking Xena for inspiring her to do that.

Xena crowning Paris's brother and saying, "Looks good." Big Grin

Perdicus as an epic warrior and Gabrielle being impressed that he has moved on and found his way rather than staying home and doing the "traditional" thing she herself decided wasn't right for her either.

Xena recognizing the traitor who killed Helen's messenger as he was traveling to Xena to give her Helen's message.

Worst parts:

Gabrielle's gift from Ephiny, the fighting staff she got from her mother, being broken in half during the battle.

Xena almost getting beaten by Paris's brother until she finally got the advantage of him--great suspence though! Big Grin

Paris's treatment of Helen(ew, he was such a jerk to her Razz )

Some holes that could have been filled--i.e. more backstory about how Xena met Helen and became friends with her, among other things. At least some backstory, not so much that it would have been a distraction, is great in such a historical tale.


Overall, very powerful episode. Great movement overall, and good ending, even if Troy got its butt kicked. Great to see Helen wanting to be a regular person for a change now, instead of this icon. Really cool touch, that ending. Smile

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"Ultimately, the truth will come out in all of this and I will be standing on the right side of the roaring rapids. I hope other people will be too. I know the truth and if I had to walk away from all of it today, the job, the career, all of it, and go toodle-oo, then fine."

~~Johnny Depp.


 
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"Beware Greeks Bearing Gifts" was a fine ep tho i had 2 beefs with it at the beginning.

Xena should never, ever have taken Gabrielle into Troy no matter how badly Gabrielle wanted to see Troy or Helen. Xena could have told her that she'll probably be bringing Helen out of Troy and that's when Gabrielle could see her. Taking her into the middle of a war was un-Xena-like!

But since the plot called for Perdicus to be in Troy, well, they had to make Xena out-of-character to advance the plot.

i'd rather have seen Perdicus fighting for the Greeks- he was Greek after all- and Gabrielle could meet him outside Troy. Then the two of them could have sneaked in inside the wooden horse.

Gabrielle could never, ever had gotten passed trained Greek soldiers outside Troy without getting killed! No way! Big fantasy there. But again, they had to advance the plot...

yeah, if the show had been an hour and half or continued partway into the next ep, it would have been nice to see flashbacks of Xena first meeting Helen.
 
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Yeah, that was quite a crash course for Gabrielle, fighting-wise!! Sure, maybe Xena thought, well, if ya wanna fight, jump in the water, and learn to swim. Razz But no...as protective as Xena's been of Gabrielle, it really didn't make sense this early in the season...it was definitely out of character.

Unless Perdicus somehow got in trouble in Greece, and fled to Troy for refuge? Razz Maybe if Xena had left Gabs behind and Gabs snuck in--and knowing her, she would have. If she had, well, hey, Perdicus could have seen her and rescued her from the soldiers, like he did when he yelled, "Open the gate!" or, Gabs could have been wounded and he could have stayed by her while she was healed...or whatnot. Razz If they wanted so badly for Perdicus and Gabs to meet in THAT ep...that would be a bit more realistic.

Still hated Ephiny's gift being totaled so soon after Gabrielle received it. I don't remember if it got fixed somehow and Gabs had it when they left...or not. It was too soon for Gabrielle to be in THAT intense a fight without, getting killed, or at least wounded badly, and then Xena would have to heal her if she had time. Yep, agreed on both counts. Razz




"Ultimately, the truth will come out in all of this and I will be standing on the right side of the roaring rapids. I hope other people will be too. I know the truth and if I had to walk away from all of it today, the job, the career, all of it, and go toodle-oo, then fine."

~~Johnny Depp.


 
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What i would have liked to have seen was a 4 part arc in late season 2 or early season 3 where we see Xena & Gabrielle headed for Troy after getting a message from Helen. Most of this ep is flashbacks about how Xena first met Helen.

The 2nd ep is reaching Troy where Xena has Gabrielle stay outside Troy. i'd still have Perdicus fighting with the Greeks and he & Gabrielle slip into Troy via the wooden horse.
This ep spills over into a good part of ep 3.

Also in ep 3, after Helen leaves with Perdicus, the ladies meet up with Ulysses on his way back to Ithaca. This way we get more out of the Ulysses story and this time he strings the bow and not Xena. But Poseidon makes it harder for him reaching home and we run into other characters from the Iliad and the Odyssey- including Homer, who we meet soon in season 1 in that awful bard's academy ep.

To add these two additional eps in the arc i'd get rid of a couple comedy eps ha ha. Maybe one of the Xena lookalike eps- ha ha ha.
 
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"Fins, Femmes and Gems"

Here's an ep that definitely does not age well. It starts out with Aphrodite rattling off tired valley girl cliches. *yawn*

So how did the barbarian warlord thugs whatever steal the north star from the sky? And how was it a "mystical diamond"? Absolute nonsense.

The obsession thing was an okay idea but here it was used to stoopid ends. Joxer obsessed with an ape man legend, Xena with fish and Gabrielle with herself. Originally Gabrielle was to be obsessed with Xena. Now that would have been stoopider!

This ep was really hard to watch and sit through. How they could write and approve the script is beyond me. i feel sorry for anyone who started watching Xena with this ep.

What a waste...

Next time i'll give what i think they could have done to improve the basic "plot" of this ep.

more later...
 
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"Fins, Femmes and Gems"

okee, instead of the north star thing- which was beyond silly and impossible- if i was gonna improve this ep here's what i'd do-

Aphrodite had wanted every day of the year devoted to her & love. She almost gets it done by casting spells but Xena thwarts her to where she just gets one day a year- the 14th of Feb (later to be Valentine's Day or Hallmark Cards day). Aphrodite is ticked so when she overhears Xena talk about how obsessed she is with herself, she does the obsession thing on Xena, Gabrielle & Joxer.

Xena becomes obsessed with her past misdeeds in a certain village. She decides to help out the survivors in ways that go over & beyond what they need or want- ie rebuilding what homes they've rebuild, doing their chores, etc.

Gabrielle becomes a hoarder. She keeps a couple wagons full of junk & mementos & has Argo tied to them to haul them along.

Joxer is obsessed with getting smart & having common sense wisdom. This way it's up to Joxer to help Xena & Gabrielle get over their obsessions.

Of course, the ep can no longer be named "Fins, Femmes and Gems" as it no longer applies. How aboot "Pity, Witty & Junk City"?
 
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That sounds like an amazing improvement, xc, even tho I didn't see the ep. Razz The original does sound pretty lam-o. I never understood why they made Aphrodite seem like such a "bimbo." I mean--okay I get it, Aphrodite is the Goddess of Love and she's also considered very sensual and sexy. But what, sexy women are all dumb? Roll Eyes I mean sheesh, she's a Goddess, after all lol, not that Tapert cared with his "assembly line product," meh. Roll Eyes Razz

If I had any say on the matter, I'd have probably made Aphrodite, say, a flower-child/new-age sexy Goddess. She could go on tirades about the spiritual power of Love, and how it can heal the whole world's problems. She could interfere with wars, giving everyone flowers and quartz crystals to calm their anger down, lol. Big Grin Sexy, but smart too, in a spiritual love-power kinda way...nothing that would compete with Athena. Wink

Yeah! They could even do some even better comedy work with that, rather than all the Valley Girl stuff... I mean lmao. "As if?" Really, Tapert, how "Clueless" can ya get? (no pun intended...Razz )

Anywho, totally love Xena getting obsessed with atoning and Joxer obsessed with becoming smart LMAO! Big Grin And Gabrielle as a hoarder! She'd be able to do some of her EPIC comedy with that one. I can just see Xena's face when Argo has to tote all Gabby's stuff around! Razz Big Grin

But alas...that would make too much sense for Tapert's "product," lol. Razz I wish we could get in with someone over at Showtime and make a whole new Xena reboot muahahaha....beFORE the new one comes out! Eeehehehe! evil Big Grin

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"Ultimately, the truth will come out in all of this and I will be standing on the right side of the roaring rapids. I hope other people will be too. I know the truth and if I had to walk away from all of it today, the job, the career, all of it, and go toodle-oo, then fine."

~~Johnny Depp.


 
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Episode 13: Athens City Academy of the Performing Bards

We begin with Xena battling a bunch of warriors, working all her amazing fighting techniques, including jumping into the air, running up the wall, running around a warrior’s staff, all of it. Suddenly a man’s gravelly voice shouts out, “Wait!” and the action freezes.

The scene changes to Gabrielle, sitting on a stool onstage, in a tavern, surrounded by patrons who look at her, entranced. Annoyed, Gabrielle says to someone off-camera, “You know, it’s really rude to interrupt somebody while they are telling a story!”

The drunk who interrupted her by yelling, “Wait!” is standing with a bottle in his hand, exclaiming that Gabrielle said it was day when she began the story, and then suddenly it was night. Gabrielle looks at him, smolderingly for a moment, then says, “Okay. DAY!”

Then she tells the story of Xena battling Ares in “The Reckoning,” and all the events that follow, which include clips from that episode. Big Grin

Everyone is thrilled and delighted by Gabrielle’s tale and applaud her vigorously. Afterwards, a young man approaches Gabrielle, compliments her and asks her if she’s going to the competition in Athens. Gabrielle is interested, and wants to know more, so the young man tells her about how many would-be bards are entering a competition, the prize for which is entry into the Athens City Academy of the Performing Bards.

Gabrielle is intrigued, but then suddenly the young man’s father steps in and tells his son not to encourage Gabrielle. He tells her, “I’m sure your story was ‘cute.’ But the Academy is for people with…REAL talent? And certainly not for a woman. Housewife tales are not fit for the Academy.” (Or words to that effect.)

The father ushers his son away from Gabrielle, but his son looks back and smiles encouragingly at her. Gabrielle is furious by the father’s insults, and suddenly becomes determined to enter the contest. Xena comes in and talks about a Cyclops problem somewhere, and then Gabrielle asks her, “How far away is Athens?”

Gabrielle wants to see if her dream just might come true about getting into the Academy. Before she leaves Xena behind, Xena shares the one and only story she was told as a child...about a man in search of his family who travels the world with many people who are helping him. Xena shares that what she most remembers is the end, where the man realizes his true family are the people who have traveled with him all along...always at his side, through thick and thin. Gabrielle finishes the story for Xena and the look on Xena's face was heartbreaking. She tells Gabrielle, "Thank you for being my family. You're like a sister to me." Then she wishes her luck and off Xena goes to deal with the Cyclops while Gabs heads to Athens!

The young man from the tavern sees Gabs as she enters the campus of the Athens Academy. They talk, and Gabrielle asks him his name. The young man doesn’t tell her, but says he hates his name, it’s boring, nothing inspiring about it. Gabrielle suggests a new name for him—Orion. The young man likes it, so that becomes his name.

Gabrielle’s name, while on the list, does not have any lodgings listed, so she has to stay in the servant’s quarters. She is quickly surrounded by Euripides, who talks in poetry with everything he says, as well as Orion and two others, one of which has a stuttering problem, but is determined to become a bard anyway. They listen, enchanted, as Gabrielle re-lives other adventures with Xena. Euripides relates that he has heard other tales about Xena, negative ones. He tells the story of how she seduced Iolaus in the tub(obviously from the Herc-Xena trilogy lol), and then we see the fight between Hercules and Iolaus. Euripides does not give their names, but ends the tale by saying that Xena’s conquest was achieved…she turned two of the closest friends against each other. The other competitor, not the stuttering one, relates a tale about Xena that consists only of action, i.e. her killing a bunch of people, no description of the village or what was the motivation. Action is what this competitor excels at describing, although he is weak with character and story development, which Gabrielle tries unsuccessfully to help him with.

After hearing the two tales of the evil Xena, Gabrielle responds by telling the story of the actual event that made Xena want to atone, which was not in this Season at all.(Apparently it wasn’t Hercules either, lol!) It’s a story Xena obviously told Gabrielle offscreen--about her rescuing an abandoned baby while still with her army. Her army yell things like, “Cut off its head!” “Stab it through the heart!” or words to that effect. Xena tells her army to leave the baby alone, and none will come at that child except through HER. Xena then takes the baby out of the room, apparently intending to find his or her parents or at least a safe place to go!
The result? Her own army beats her up, and badly. Xena eventually rises, and fights down her army. That, said Gabrielle was what made Xena determined to use her fighting skills for good, and not evil any longer!

Orion’s father bursts in and orders Orion not to “socialize with the competition.” Later, Gabrielle is helping Orion as he tries to tell a story. Orion shares that he used to be a lot better with stories when a child but he lost the ability. Then he says that his father told him to “look” at his audience and adjust the story accordingly depending on their expressions. Say, if they look bored, try to make it more exciting, etc. Gabrielle tells him basically that he shouldn’t look at anyone, just tell his story and get involved, letting the story take him through its journey. Orion says that he used to close his eyes while telling stories. Gabs encourages him to do that again, as obviously it helps him really FEEL the story.

Orion’s father, not pleased with this growing friendship, exposes Gabrielle as some kind of “cheater,” for trying to sneak into the competition “without being registered.” The Head of the Academy orders Gabrielle to leave.
Back in her servants’ quarters, all her friends are upset that she’s been ordered to go. Gabrielle tries to make the best of it, but then she says that she always has to say goodbye to people she becomes close with. She re-tells the story of her connection with Iolaus and how she shared the tale of how we’re always searching and yearning for the “other half of our soul.”

Orion, Euripides and the others gather into a huddle, and then Euripides tells Gabrielle that her “farewell is not reciprocated.” Orion tells her to stay until after the competition, so she does.

At the competition, none of the competitors will perform until Gabs is re-instated into the competition. The overall “judge” of the competition is someone famous I think but I’m blanking on his name. Razz Anyway, he tells the Head of the Academy that he wants to see Gabrielle perform. After Gabs tells the story of “Cradle of Hope,” she is re-instated into the competition.

Backstage, after Gabrielle thanks her friends, Orion’s father approaches him and orders him to practice his story. After Orion fails to “please” his father, he suddenly leaves. His father later tells Gabrielle that Orion has quit the competition and is going home.
Gabrielle runs after Orion and encourages him to come back, advising him to be himself, not what his father wants him to be, even though his father loves and wants the best for him. Orion returns and then the competition begins. After Gabrielle tells the story of her friendship with Xena and all their adventures together(ending with that cool scene by the lake at the end of Cradle of Hope Big Grin), Orion goes onstage and tells the tale of Sparticus. Here, we see clips from Kirk Douglass in the movie “Sparticus,” with Jean Simmons. Orion ends up winning the competition!

Gabrielle congratulates him, and during their good-bye, she asks Orion what his real name is. Orion tells her his real name is Homer! He says he might call himself the “blind bard,” since he always closes his eyes.

Gabs reunites with Xena, telling her that SHE won the competition, but then decided while others were TELLING of adventures, she and Xena are living them. Xena says she’s glad to have Gabs back, and then they meet four dangerous looking warriors. Gabrielle says “This is going to make a great story!” as Xena draws her sword and prepares to fight.

I really liked this ep a lot. It showed Xena and Gabrielle going their separate ways for awhile, not so joined at the hip. Then we got to see Gabrielle go off and do what she's amazing at...tell stories! Her telling of all the eps in this season is just magnetic. Gabs explored her dream, and even if she decided it’s not for her, at least she went for it! The only issue I can think of right now is the tale about Xena rescuing the baby…I wish that had been part of Season 1. That would have worked better. Or maybe Gabrielle could begin the story by saying how Xena shared that moment of wanting to atone for the first time. Like, with a flashback of something we never saw all season, of Xena beginning the story while she and Gabs sat around the fire or something—THEN, go into the action with the baby and the fight with Xena’s army.

My favorite part was finding out that Orion was Homer all along. It’s cool to see a tale where Gabrielle helps one of the most famous Greek bards find himself and his muse again! Big Grin

Epic. Next ep is the last of Season 1, and then it’s on to Season 2!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Free Madness,




"Ultimately, the truth will come out in all of this and I will be standing on the right side of the roaring rapids. I hope other people will be too. I know the truth and if I had to walk away from all of it today, the job, the career, all of it, and go toodle-oo, then fine."

~~Johnny Depp.


 
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Well we differ on "Athens City Academy of the Performing Bards". i thought it was mostly a waste!

i liked that Gabrielle went her own way- tho this happened more often in season 1 than later on, unfortunately. i also liked the emphasis on Gabrielle as a bard. But it was wasted with her being mother hen to those boys!

It was also so cliched- the stutterer, the guys who talks with his hands, daddy's boy Homer whose not his own person, etc. Blah! This ep is my least favorite of S1.

It was a great concept having Gabrielle go to bard school but i think they should have waited til later in S2 when her scrolls are more well known. Then they should have had it more a drama, writing about something other than Xena, and no being a mother hen. Maybe she could start a newspaper while in Athens. Maybe they could have Homer -no Homer's papa- as he wrote the Iliad about Helen & Ulysses & that scene.

Sorry but this ep gave me a headache!
 
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quote:
Originally posted by The Rise and Fall of the Brass Razoo:

Epic. Next ep is the last of Season 1, and then it’s on to Season 2!


Huh? There are 11 more eps after "Athens City Academy of the Performing Bards". Do you have the entire season?
 
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Oh wait a minute...duh, there's 2 more dvd's in there. I don't know why I was thinking it was the end, probably because I normally think of a whole season of something as 13 or 14 eps. Don't ask me why. I was tired today, lol. Razz

Yeah, I've seen Gabrielle play "mother hen" to others, even Xena sometimes(altho she gets more "henlike" with Xena later I think lol.) While it's cool that Gabs has some pearls of wisdom to help people who are a li'l confused, she's also talking from innocence and naivete as well in this ep particularly--going on her few experiences with Xena. I think what made the ep work best for me is that she didn't end up going to the school then and there. She needs to have more "adventures" first while she's still naive enough to think of them as adventures and not experiences which eventually change a person. She does grow as a writer when she becomes the traveling bard in earnest--writing AND having her experiences.

And yeah, it's always all about Xena cuz that's Gabs' right hand woman lol til she starts hangin' out with Eli, or the Amazons, and others who influence her.

This ep seems to have been written more for teens than adults as it's all about young ppl finding their way around. Gabrielle may still be innocent in some ways but these are sheltered boys lmao compared to her. Big Grin Take Homer wanting to call himself Draco..."Oh no. Draco's a villain. See, I've MET Draco." And so on lol.

Oh well! Different views are again what made the show so great as you once said--means a lot of things to many. Smile

We'll probably watch ep 14 tomorrow. Glad there's more in the Season to look forward to. It did feel like it was "over" pretty fast lol...oh well. Razz

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Free Madness,




"Ultimately, the truth will come out in all of this and I will be standing on the right side of the roaring rapids. I hope other people will be too. I know the truth and if I had to walk away from all of it today, the job, the career, all of it, and go toodle-oo, then fine."

~~Johnny Depp.


 
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well here's more detail (like we need it ha ha) on how i'd fix "Athens City Academy of the Performing Bards".

The ep would take place sometime in season 2. Gabrielle gets an invite to the academy. No freezing up stuff. Xena encourages her to go for her dream. The person who invited her is a fan of her Xena scrolls. Homer is there too, but no papa & no boys to be a mama hen to. And no competitions.

Her instructor- not the person who sent the invite- is not a Xena scrolls fan. This person thinks Gabrielle's work is too centered on Xena.
She or he gives assignments to all the students and they are all on exciting subjects- gods, heroes, philosophers, etc. But Gabrielle is assigned to write a paper/thesis on something dull & mundane like gardening club meeting (just an example).

Infuriated, Gabrielle goes to it as Homer's assignment is Xena! We don't see Xena & Homer, it's all off screen except when he comes back in bruises from trying to keep up with her.

Anyhoo, the gardening club meeting looks like a snooze-fest at first. Gabrielle hopes she can find a scandal or something juicy going on but no. What she later finds out is how the club members together have- over the yrs- given plenty of food to orphans & needy ppl, and they've come up with new ways to produce food better (maybe inventing some method that was actually invented much much later on).

So she writes the gardeners into heroes of a sort and impresses everyone that she write dynamically about things that aren't Xena-related. Of course, the ep would need some decent writers to do this ha ha.

Homer is not deterred about having to suffer bruises writing about Xena. He decides to hunt down Helen & Ulysses and write about Troy and such.

yay!
 
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That sounds cool! I like Gabrielle learning that there is a lot more to gardeners than it might look like at first. Her writing about them as heroes sounds amazing. As for Homer, lol, that would be cool seeing how he can learn from Xena in order to write his paper and coming back with bruises, etc. An additional twist could be Gabrielle being EXPRESSLY forbidden to "help" Homer in any way with his Xena research. However, the temptation is great for her lol. Wink She resists successfully though, thereby learning how NOT to be a mother hen so much. This would be good for her as well as learning how to see the gardeners as heroes!

Either way it sounds like a very exciting ep. Yep, the writers would have to be top notch! Lol. Big Grin




"Ultimately, the truth will come out in all of this and I will be standing on the right side of the roaring rapids. I hope other people will be too. I know the truth and if I had to walk away from all of it today, the job, the career, all of it, and go toodle-oo, then fine."

~~Johnny Depp.


 
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Thanks, Kate!

Yer right about the writers. They and Crapert became the biggest draw-backs on the show. They used the same writers too often and IMO had far too many comedies, clip shows & self-contained eps.

They also seemed to avoid being inventive or clever. Now keeping ppl guessing on the relationship angle was good but other than that the only controversy they had was the India arc and they apologized out their butts for that when they really should not have.

i would have LOVED to have seen Xena & Gabrielle "discover" America. To go there with the Vikings after the Ring trilogy. To have Native Americans played by actual Native American actors (they did this on X Files at about the same time). They could have really made some commentary on how Native Amercians eventually get treated.

The modern day ep with X&G in the 21st century was a waste too. X&G's take on modern day America could have been controversial as well as ppl's reaction to a mass murderess running free. Instead they waste it on fandom jokes & toliet humor. *sigh*
 
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Ugh, I never saw the 21st century ep, but it sounds like a waste. I really hated the toilet humor. Razz Borrrring!

Yeah! Having X and G discover America and discover the Native Americans and yeah, FIGHT for them! Even if they're all unsuccessful and shite....at least they DID it! Yeah but of course that's too "radical" for an assembly line product. Roll Eyes I can't BELIEVE they apologized for the India arc? Why? Jeez Louise...

Yeah they got way too uninventive after awhile. Anything for commercialism...bah. Razz That show, great as it is, had SO much potential to be more. Oh well! Still say we should write our own reboot in the Creativity thread. Big Grin




"Ultimately, the truth will come out in all of this and I will be standing on the right side of the roaring rapids. I hope other people will be too. I know the truth and if I had to walk away from all of it today, the job, the career, all of it, and go toodle-oo, then fine."

~~Johnny Depp.


 
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Ep 14: A Fist Full of Dinars

Xena and Gabrielle travel with two old friends of Xena's, one a crazy assassin whose name I never got right, lol and then Petrocles, an old flame of Xena's, an ex-fiance who dumped her mercilessly. Razz They travel and Petrocles and Gabrielle do a li'l flirting and Xena gets upset and warns Petrocles not to hurt her friend. Bottom line, they need to get to the temple of Demeter to find a treasure...and within the treasure, which only Xena and Gabs know about is the titan key which leads to ambrosia, food of the gods. Eat this food, and you'll become a god! Xena wants to get there first before anyone else can find it and become a god. Cuz these characters ain't exactly nice ppl, all those walking around with the clues to the treasure.

After all kinds of crazy "adventures," including the assassin almost killing Gabrielle along the way and lots of conflict around Petrocles, they make it to the temple of Demeter. Gabs and the assassin go to the temple and pretend to be Demeter worshipers, and the assassin gets the special ruby needed to open the cavern that leads to the treasure. Then he messes up by tripping over the table lol...and of course they get caught. Xena and Petrocles fight off the would-be executioners, and they escape. Once in the cavern, they find out the clue by puzzling out the riddle. Xena puts the ruby in the eye of the middle statue, and then next day, after much trial and tribulation, they find the treasure.

The assassin finds the key to the Ambrosia! Damn. Razz He is such a psycho, he'd kill anyone to get what he wants, and the last thing we need is for him to become a god. He takes Gabs hostage and Xena and Petrocles have to go thru the hall of Silence, and not make any noise or they'll be killed. Petrocles steps on a skull by mistake...oops! The rocks start to fall on them, but fortunately they escape. They get to the ambrosia just before the assassin and Gabrielle do--they get there a minute later...great timing. Xena tests Petrocles who is swearing he cares about Gabrielle and wants her safe. Xena thinks he just wants the Ambrosia. Slowly they walk over to the assassin who now has a knife at Gabs's throat. Xena asks Petrocles whose side he's on. Petrocles smiles and says to the assassin, "You and me--GODS!" Xena says that figures. But suddenly Petrocles grabs the assassin's hand holding the knife and shouts, "RUN, GABRIELLE!" Gabs runs to Xena and Petrocles and the assassin fight, and Petrocles is stabbed. Xena fights the assassin as he tries to get the ambrosia. She kills him, or at least stabs him mortally. Meanwhile, Gabrielle is trying to stop Petrocles's bleeding, hoping to save him. Xena goes to Petrocles and as she and Gabs are focused on him, suddenly the assassin, still barely alive, reaches out his hand for the ambrosia. He almost gets it, but dies before his hand can reach the sacred food.

Petrocles tells Xena he's sorry he hurt her, and he never appreciated what he had until it was too late. He pulls a pouch out of his bag, and hands it to her...then dies. Xena looks inside the bag and finds her wedding bracelet. She and Gabs mourn him while the camera shows the whole room, including the assassin, dead in front of the ambrosia.

Xena and Gabs go to this fire pit and Gabs asks if they really have to destroy the ambrosia. Xena says it won't be destroyed...just go back to the gods. They throw it into the fire...and off they go while the ambrosia burns, then sinks away, returning to the gods.

Not a bad ep for the plot itself, altho the Petrocles thing felt a li'l cliched. The bad boy who didn't care about anything finally proves he has changed...just as he's about to die. Xena warning Gabs about him and Gabs and her being at odds about how "trustworthy" he is, regarding good ol' romance as well as the treasure/ambrosia. As far as redemption is concerned, it didn't seem like Petrocles cared about atoning for his misdeeds, including trying to rob that village in the beginning. It was all about the romance, where he atoned. Yeah, he could have gone for the ambrosia I guess, but he was kinda laid up and Gabs was sitting over him...I dunno, maybe it was the writing. Ah well.

Overall, great idea for a story--the treasure and Ambrosia theme that is! Would have been cool to see some gods involved once in awhile, no Petrocles and whats-his-name, altho maybe they could follow X and G and it's a race over who gets there first--'cept no Petrocles/old flames/girls fighting over him/him becoming a hero bla bla. Oh well. Just mho. Big Grin

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"Ultimately, the truth will come out in all of this and I will be standing on the right side of the roaring rapids. I hope other people will be too. I know the truth and if I had to walk away from all of it today, the job, the career, all of it, and go toodle-oo, then fine."

~~Johnny Depp.


 
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i liked "A Fistful of Dinars" for the most part. i would prefer that Petracles not be an ex-beau of Xena. i mean, Marcus was enuff lovey-dovey stuff for the entire season. Thersites was much better character.

The show was supposed to be a tribute to spaghetti-westerns plus maybe a nod to Indhickiana Jones. i like spaghetti-westerns & wish the entire ep had been more of a tribute.
They could have filmed part of it in a desert like they did in later eps. They could have made Petracles into a Clint Eastwood type instead of a ex of Xena's. They could have flushed out the ambrosia/treasure hunt more to fit the spaghetti-western mode. Even the story could have spilled over into the next ep.

But like "The Dirty Half Dozen" ep in S2, which was also a tribute to spaghetti-westerns tho not as much as it was here, TPTB couldn't stick with the theme long enuff.

But overall i liked the ep a lot. i remember ppl here debated whether Xena should have given Petracles some ambrosia to keep him alive- as she would do the same in a later ep for herself. oh well, then we'd have to have seen Petracles again- no to that!
 
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Yeah I think that was my only real beef with the ep...the ex-beau thing. Plus the cliched best friend falls for ex beau, two best friends arguing over him, Xena trying to protect Gabrielle one minute then maybe she's jealous the next...bleh. Razz I did enjoy the treasure hunt scenes and the Titan key...yep, total Indiana Jones tribute! Loved those movies. I like some of the Westerns I've seen too...haven't seen many but I thought the best Indy movie was with Sean Connery as his dad. Epic! Big Grin

Yeah, more of those tributes in the show would have been great. Like Xena with her Clint Eastwood line, "Do you feel lucky?" I loved how she said that altho I forget the ep right now. Razz Tributes to really good movies like that are always cool. Like I said about the Athens Bard Academy which I know we differ on, I really loved the clips from the epic old movie Spartacus with Kirk Douglass. I know that's not a spaghetti western but it's still a cool tribute! Big Grin

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"Ultimately, the truth will come out in all of this and I will be standing on the right side of the roaring rapids. I hope other people will be too. I know the truth and if I had to walk away from all of it today, the job, the career, all of it, and go toodle-oo, then fine."

~~Johnny Depp.


 
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"Tsunami"

Xena & Gabrielle are on a ship of prisoners- including Autolycus- which gets hit by a tidal wave.

Best: Neat tribute to "Poseidon Adventure"; Xena invents scuba air tanks; nice SFX with the geysers; Gabrielle ultra-hot with wet hair!; Soraya was hot, too; palm reader intro was fun & ironic

Worst: Nothing really bad but just curious at how Xena knows so much about getting out from the situation when nobody else did!

Redemption score: 6, for saving everyone including bad Macon's bacon!

X&G ying/yang score: 8, back to normal, they were in character

Greater good comment: Xena saved everyone trapped below in the ship

Diversity score: 4

Rating- 10
 
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Episode 15: Warrior...Princess

So, Xena goes to a castle to see the king, and she's welcomed by the guards, who treat her like royalty. She walks in, and they all stand, making an aisle for her, closing their staves as she passes. She's confused, but wants to just get on with it and meet the king. A maid comes up to her, comments on her "costume," and calls her "Your Highness." Xena just nods and is like, "oookay." She tells the maid to send the king to her. Left alone, someone tries to attack her, and Xena blows fire on him and he takes off. The king enters and Xena demands to know what the HEY is going on here, in so many words. The king explains the dilemma, that his daughter, the Princess, has had attempts on her life, and he needs Xena's help. Then, Princess Diana enters, the spitting image of Xena!

*Note: I've always found the look-alike eps to be weird. I think Lucy wanted to show off her acting chops by playing different characters and Tapert simply let her do that. But, realistically, what is up with someone looking EXACTLY like Xena, spitting image and all? And no mention of a possible relation? I mean, these are TWINS, later triplets with Meg in the mix, and then I think there was a "Princess Leia" somewhere who also looked like Xena. So...quadruplets then! And...didn't Xena look just like Cleopatra? She posed as Cleopatra in the ep about her and Mark Antony...hmmm. Lucy's an amazing actress, but I wish she'd taken a leaf out of Johnny's book and gone for a movie career after the series ended. With great directors like Johnny worked with. Who knows, maybe she tried that, don't really keep up on her news...but then she's a mom, and maybe she had to devote all her time to her child, or children if she had more. And...Tapert, her husband of course. Razz Are they even still married? Have to look her up and find out lol.*

Anyway moving on.

Diana is betrothed to a man from another kingdom which is all about freeing slaves. The king, Diana's father wants to unite with that kingdom to show his people that he doesn't want anymore slave trading. Meanwhile, people are trying to kill Diana, obviously out of hatred for this idea of no more slaves. So...the king's "brilliant" solution is to have Xena pose as Diana during the wedding ceremony. That makes sense, surely, but...how do we keep Diana safe? Have her pose as Xena! Oh yes...and Gabrielle will take care of her. REAL safe, especially if attackers come by. There is simply no time to teach Diana to fight.

Poor Gabrielle is stuck with a bumbling weepy spoiled Princess who looks exactly like Xena, but calls the chakram, "my big round fighting thing." The best part about Diana being Xena was, not only did no HOARDS of attackers come by, but the one who approached them was a poor old man who lived in the woods with his starving family. Diana realizes that people in her kingdom really need more help than she realized. What she called "the little people" become human to her at last. She learns a big lesson, which she shares with her father upon reunion with him.

Then there's the man she TRULY loves...again I am terrible with names when first watching an ep lmao. I have to look him up but for now I will say...he's Diana's REAL love, not his brother, whom Diana is set to marry. Anyway so Diana's love with the sky blue eyes figures out Xena is NOT Diana and demands to know what's going on. Xena tells him the truth, and he becomes an ally. At one point, they THINK they caught the man behind the murder attempts but after finding him hanging by the neck, they assume he killed himself so as not to be caught. Thinking the danger is over, Xena is free to go on with her life. But...noooope! ANOTHER attempt on Diana's life later, Xena is asked to return and be Diana for the wedding. When she battles the attackers during the wedding, Diana's "would be" husband says, "This is who I'm MARRYING?" And backs out of the whole thing, lol. Meanwhile Diana, as Xena again, meets her real love on the road, and demands to know if he loves Diana. He says, "Yes, I do, but she doesn't love me." Diana comes out of role and tells him she DOES love him. They marry, and all is well, since the MAIN culprit behind the murder attempts has of course been thwarted by Xena at the ceremony!

Great fights with the attackers, Xena ripping the wedding dress to do her kicking routine...epic! Her fire-blowing technique is chilling. Nice ending with Diana marrying the one she truly loves, and uniting the kingdoms to boot! Hilarious moments in this ep when Gabrielle says, "Chakram" and Diana says, "Guzunteit." Then she throws the chakram, knocks off the top of the king's crown, and the chakram lands in a tree. The little girl in the poor family: "GREAT SHOT!"

Lmao. It was entertaining. Lucy can act her butt off and has a good flair for comedy. Big Grin Poor Gabrielle at least had a staff to fight off that single attacker when Diana first approached her and scurried into the bushes! The staff looked like Ephiny's staff. Did Gabrielle get that fixed? Oh well. Guess we'll find out later.

Pretty good light ep overall, a little over-the-top, but it was funny enough not to be too annyong. I don't know what I'll think of Warrior...Princess...Tramp, and the other look-alike eps. One look-alike was enough to make it work...somewhat, lol. Good for a healthy belly laugh in the long run, both for the silly parts in the plot as well as the comedy itself. Razz Big Grin

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"Ultimately, the truth will come out in all of this and I will be standing on the right side of the roaring rapids. I hope other people will be too. I know the truth and if I had to walk away from all of it today, the job, the career, all of it, and go toodle-oo, then fine."

~~Johnny Depp.


 
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Here's my views on "Warrior Princess" from last year in this thread:

quote:

"Warrior...Princess"

Xena look-alike Diana targeted by slave traders.

Best: Xena in the story first as Gabrielle enters the scene later- i like it when they are split up like that; Gabrielle has her staff back & uses it only in defense; liked that Xena almost backed out working for a wealthy king

Worst: well it's an irrelevant story, a Xena lite, that doesn't add anything to her back story or to Gabrielle's growth; Bordered on too silly at times

Rating: 8 (almost gave it a 7-7.5 but relented to up the score)


The Xena lookalike eps got to be too much for me. Just a waste of an episode. Meg was ok but Leah was useless- absolutely useless.

Why are all Xena lookalikes and their eps silly? Why couldn't Diana or Meg have been a pirate or sorceress? Why do they have to look silly- way silly- in comparison to Xena, just cuz she's the main character? oh well.

Yeah not the same staff that Ephiny gave Gabrielle. The staff must have a bunch of lookalikes!
 
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Originally posted by xenacrazed:


The Xena lookalike eps got to be too much for me. Just a waste of an episode. Meg was ok but Leah was useless- absolutely useless.

Why are all Xena lookalikes and their eps silly? Why couldn't Diana or Meg have been a pirate or sorceress? Why do they have to look silly- way silly- in comparison to Xena, just cuz she's the main character? oh well.

Yeah not the same staff that Ephiny gave Gabrielle. The staff must have a bunch of lookalikes!


You got that right. All the Xena lookalikes are total bimbos! Maybe not Meg so much, she had her interesting points. Never saw Leah but from what I heard about her she sounds atrocious lol. Razz

Like I said, I think either Tapert or Lucy wanted her to do more with comedy, slapstick or just different characters to show off her abilities. But yeah, a pirate, sorceress, or even another warrior on the BAD side would have been epic! Yeah, what about the latter?? Have Xena find out that a double of herself is over somewhere doing terrible things and then ppl mistake her for that double...and oh, the conflict, the redemption issues! Now THAT would be a useful ep for a lookalike. Later they'd find out that the villain lookalike is maybe, not a twin/relation of Xena's, but a shapeshifting god or sorceror/ess...hey, why not Loki??? He was the god of Mischief! Right now, I don't remember if Loki was Greek but who cares? They used all different gods many times, including that silly Morrigan character in Hercules when he was dealing with all the Celtic Deities. Razz

I'd write it that way in the reboot! Big Grin To heck with Diana and Leah. Meg can stay but she should be played by a different actress entirely. Big Grin

And yeah...how about that staff, hey? Where'd Gabrielle get it? My guess is, they had to give her SOMETHING to fight with in this ep to keep from getting killed since Diana was no use, obviously. So yeah let's have a staff magically appear after multiple eps with Gabs not having one. Brilliant. Roll Eyes Razz




"Ultimately, the truth will come out in all of this and I will be standing on the right side of the roaring rapids. I hope other people will be too. I know the truth and if I had to walk away from all of it today, the job, the career, all of it, and go toodle-oo, then fine."

~~Johnny Depp.


 
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Loki was Norse. They could have used that idea as a teaser to the Norse Trilogy in season 6.

i'd like to have seen a lookalike Xena- maybe Meg but with brains- as a sorceress who uses potions, herbs, weird medicines stuff. Ppl in her village are unsure of her & stay out of her way, as she's straddling the line between good & evil. Maybe later sorceress Meg could take on shamaness Alti, and defeat her.
 
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"Tsunami"

i always liked this ep & it seems to get better with time.

The beginning with the palm reader is classic-

Palm reader:
“You’re going on a long voyage. I see a man on
this voyage.”

Xena: “Let me guess-- tall, dark, and handsome, right?”

Palm reader: “As a matter of fact, he is.”

X: “Right. Come on, Gabrielle.”

Gabrielle: “Give her a chance. You see, we’re not going on a voyage. We just needed some supplies. We were passing through.”

Palm reader: “Perhaps, I misread.”

X: “Perhaps. Sorry. Your dinar.”

G: “Have another look. What? What is it?”

X: “All right, Gabrielle, that’s enough. Come on, please.”

Palm reader: “No! There’s danger-- great danger-- and death.”

G: “Did you hear that? She just described every day of our lives.”

X: “Hmm.”

So Gabrielle sees Autolycus among prisoners going to work in the mines. She doesn't yet know that he got himself;f in chains for a purpose- diamonds in the mines.

The tribute to "The Poseidon Adventure" begins when the tidal wave hits & turns the ship upside down.

For me, this may be the best Autolycus ep because we get less of his "i'm the king of thieves" bragging here.

The scenes in the over-turned ship are fine. Soraya is a hottie. The other characters are fleshed out enough to be interesting.

Xena rescuing Macon and her line to him about saving him is great:

Macon: “Why? I’m a killer. Why’d you come back? What’d you expect?”

Xena: “From you-- nothin’. From me, nothin’ less."

That's the redemption shinin through!

Now, how they escaped without getting the bends is something else plus they should have been in the complete dark below ship! Oh well.
 
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