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Ficters Challenge 14: Poem Challenge
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Dream Scroller
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quote:
Great stuff here you guys...I SO love this answer back thingie ya'll have going on. We should do this more often. -Gabber



The two poems, "Walk Away" and "Turn Around" have inspired another challenge!

Most poems provide one way of looking at things- The object here is to write an opposing poem to the last poem that has been posted. I'm not prepared to start this right now so if someone is ready go ahead.

I'm assuming each poem will only have one opposite and then another will have to be started. (Or there could be more than one answer so you'd better let us know which one you are writing to.)

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Argeaux,
 
Posts: 411 | Registered: 23 June 2003Report This Post
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thanks for staqrting this Nanzar--i had the same thought but wasn't sure how to put it in the form of a challenge. i'll try and give it a start....

the eye of the beholder

i look at you
my imperfect perception
captures only a refraction of your truth
flawed by my own humanity
vexed by my own emotions
skewed by my own desires
i can only see you
through these sad, tired eyes
and know that the beauty i see
may very well be a mirage


wow--i hope that's not going to be too hard... that's just what came out.


WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

sometimes, you just have to say 'what the f...'

 
Posts: 5103 | Location: Austin Texas, baby | Registered: 22 June 2003Report This Post
Scroll Guardian

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A response to zoom's poem.

For your amusement.

"See Me"

See me, see you
Look at me, right through
Your ideas, your perception
Though the truth of me is the exception

You know, I do
What you see is not truth
You can't, you won't
Push past your emotions, I know you don't

Push me, pull you
Regardless of what we've been through
Hide behind, fade away
Nevermind the games we play

Watch me, in a lie
Watch as our love dies
Deep down you know the truth in me
You just never wanted to see.

--SMC


____________________________


I <3 4 foot 11, blonde, operatic wonders from Oklahoma.

There is no charge for awesomeness or attractiveness
 
Posts: 2157 | Location: Seattle, WA | Registered: 22 June 2003Report This Post
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wicked--that was excellent. i kpet trying to think how i'd respond to my own poem, and kept getting stumped. i think you nailed it.

i liked this--you pull it off without being cheesey:
Push me, pull you
Regardless of what we've been through
Hide behind, fade away
Nevermind the games we play

the "push me/pull you" line is risky, but you really make it work.

and this...this little nugget is a thing of beauty:
Though the truth of me is the exception

next...?


WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

sometimes, you just have to say 'what the f...'

 
Posts: 5103 | Location: Austin Texas, baby | Registered: 22 June 2003Report This Post
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Wow that was geat! I was going to add that a poem that has already been posted could be re-posted for this challenge, if you have one that you think has a powerful point of view to be answered.

My favorite lines from the answer are:
quote:
Watch me, in a lie
Watch as our love dies
Deep down you know the truth in me
You just never wanted to see.

 
Posts: 411 | Registered: 23 June 2003Report This Post
Chief Chesty Forlock
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OK, here's a kind of quick answer to Sara's poem.

Tired of the fights and lies
Weary of the teary nights
I sigh and realise
My eyes haven't been dry for weeks

You're asleep again
Friends tell me that's the way men are
Your hair is soft when I touch it
Stroking the down on your cheek

Come home late for the third time
It feels like a crime against our love
I'm past my prime and you don't want me
Don't even want to tell me

As soon as it has started it's over
In the sober light of truth I hold you
Sobbing with relief
Next time, let my heart soften faster


~~~~~~~~~~

 
Posts: 5337 | Location: Oz | Registered: 22 June 2003Report This Post
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here's a piece of something i started a long time ago--i throw it out to continue the challenge:

i dive into love’s water
its current swift and dark
i submit to Zeus’s daughter
Aphrodite knows this is no lark

reason tells me this is madness,
and my soul echoes this complaint
this love likely bodes but sadness
though my heart knows no restraint


WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

sometimes, you just have to say 'what the f...'

 
Posts: 5103 | Location: Austin Texas, baby | Registered: 22 June 2003Report This Post
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To Zoomie's "Love's Wake"

I’ve been here before
The water of love beckons but I can’t rush in
I know the coolness and refreshing weight of it on my heart
But the waves are crushing me.

I will turn my face to the sun
Another day alone is not more than I can bear
Like a rock plunging to the bottom I will fall away from you
But I will always wonder if we were meant to be.
 
Posts: 411 | Registered: 23 June 2003Report This Post
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ooh--i like. i'm glad that crappy little ditty of mine inspired something so nice. i'm digging this exercise...


WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

sometimes, you just have to say 'what the f...'

 
Posts: 5103 | Location: Austin Texas, baby | Registered: 22 June 2003Report This Post
Scroller Needing Therapy
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Okay I guess i'll throw something new out....heheheh this is fun! Thanks Nanzar!Big Grin

Truth
by Kate Quinn (c) 2004

Scared of Love, scared of Life
He hides behind his bitterness
Hides behind the Television
Hides behind a lie.

Don't turn it off, he tells me
Pleadingly, he looks at me.
Escapist poison strikes again.
Let's all escape our wives.

And now I think of you, my friend
You said you had these feelings;
But where the hell are they going really?
You don't even know, and where do I go???

I wonder if you'd be so shy
To even meet or speak to me
If she were all you'd ever wanted
If you two were truly meant to be?

All I know is that I'm sick
Of living in obsessive lies.
I don't know about contentment
I just know I want some truth.

And Truth is stronger than Breakups
Truth is stronger than Divorce
Truth is stronger than anything
Right now it's my real Soulmate.




"Ultimately, the truth will come out in all of this and I will be standing on the right side of the roaring rapids. I hope other people will be too. I know the truth and if I had to walk away from all of it today, the job, the career, all of it, and go toodle-oo, then fine."

~~Johnny Depp.


 
Posts: 3162 | Location: Dreamland | Registered: 06 April 2004Report This Post
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For some reason, I have found all of these poems difficult to answer, because everyone took the words out of my mouth with the first try. Now see, if I could have answered "Walk Away", you woulda seen me sooner. Razz But...Kate's new poem actually allows me a chance to truly answer...so here we go, hope you enjoy.

~Gabber
============


“Illusions”

You know me better than anyone
You know me better than I know myself
Can’t you see, won’t you try
To look past the glaze in my eyes?

Of course it’s an escape
Of course I try to hide
Of course illusion is safer than reality
Of course right now this is all I can be

Underneath the glaze, there’s a scream
For you to turn around and love me
I’m so terrified that this is the beginning of gone
That I’ll wake up and see the passing of the dawn

You hear my plea, I know you do
But you refuse to hear the truth behind it
You should know by now, if you truly listened
That the TV means nothing to me
That my cry is for you to notice me
To please never leave me
And if you can, love me...imperfectly.

--6/7/04 Copyright Keri S. (Gabber)
 
Posts: 893 | Location: Lexington, KY | Registered: 25 June 2003Report This Post
Scroller Needing Therapy
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Wow! Really well written, Keri, thanks! I really do like these question answer things---it seems like we are shown a new perspective on our inspirations--our muses have something new to think about! Cool! Thanks so much!
--kateSmile




"Ultimately, the truth will come out in all of this and I will be standing on the right side of the roaring rapids. I hope other people will be too. I know the truth and if I had to walk away from all of it today, the job, the career, all of it, and go toodle-oo, then fine."

~~Johnny Depp.


 
Posts: 3162 | Location: Dreamland | Registered: 06 April 2004Report This Post
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Frustrated
by Kate Quinn(WP9) (c) 2004

Keeping me in suspense
On purpose I guess?
Because I stepped on your boundary
A thing I feel terrible for.

And yet I said I was sorry
I explained that I was confused
Why is it so hard to cross over
And tell me what that means to you?

You say you're not avoiding me
You say we will talk about this
But you can't even tell me when you will be here.
Why can't you just email instead???

What is so hard about saying the words?
What is so hard for you?
Did I really tongue tie you that much?
I can't believe that's true.

I told you my feelings were displaced
And that i was sorry I'd let them go
But don't forget, you hinted a lot
Of where your feelings could possibly go!

So none of this is all my fault.
So why am I being punished?
I wish you would just come and speak to me!
I wish we could just get past this!

I'm sick of limbo, I'm sick of the pain
I want to move on, and my patience is gone
I know you are busy, but hell, so am I!!!!
Why can't you just try to meet me halfway?

Please communicate.
Tell me some truth.
Please don't lead me on.

Please say something
Even if it hurts.
Please, that's all I ask.




"Ultimately, the truth will come out in all of this and I will be standing on the right side of the roaring rapids. I hope other people will be too. I know the truth and if I had to walk away from all of it today, the job, the career, all of it, and go toodle-oo, then fine."

~~Johnny Depp.


 
Posts: 3162 | Location: Dreamland | Registered: 06 April 2004Report This Post
Chief Chesty Forlock
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Hello, it's me

The phone rings
Your chitter chatter kicks in
Can you believe that?
I didn't even say it like that
She totally took it the wrong way

I wait for a moment's repose
You continue with barely a pause
She says that I never listen
I don't give her a chance to talk
To explain how she feels

I feel like my ear is falling asleep
Pressed against the receiver
Am I keeping you from work?
I guess I'm not
You would tell me

I might tell you, given the chance
Hopefully my fingers rattling 'round the keys
Can't be heard at your end
Doesn't the time fly?
I'll let you go
Speak to you soon

After the sound of disconnection
I flick on the answering machine
Now I am safe to think my own thoughts for a while


~~~~~~~~~~

 
Posts: 5337 | Location: Oz | Registered: 22 June 2003Report This Post
Scroller Needing Therapy
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Not Interested
by Kate Quinn(c) 2004

Judgement is like a sickening sweet shampoo
That covers the hair with a flowery sugary scent
But takes away from the nature of the hair
So it really is nothing, not a thing at all.

Your laughter is like a rancid stick of butter
From a distance, so inviting to the tongue
But once I see and smell it, it becomes
Distorted, and decayed, not happy at all

Misunderstandings, they are just like beer
At first taste, kind of sour, bitter too
But given a chance, it grows and becomes tasty
Given a chance it all can be that way.

Can you grow with me and understand
That I ask nothing that you cannot give?
If you're not ready to speak, at least say this;
When I'm ready, I will speak to you.

Or simply tell me you're not interested.




"Ultimately, the truth will come out in all of this and I will be standing on the right side of the roaring rapids. I hope other people will be too. I know the truth and if I had to walk away from all of it today, the job, the career, all of it, and go toodle-oo, then fine."

~~Johnny Depp.


 
Posts: 3162 | Location: Dreamland | Registered: 06 April 2004Report This Post
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