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Ficters Challenge 15: Crude Haiku Challenge

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08 June 2004, 11:19 AM
The Troll
Ficters Challenge 15: Crude Haiku Challenge
I remember a discussion about poetry by a distinguished poet. He said a poem can be about almost anything; however the subjects of poems are usually not rude bodily functions. Then he remembered a poem he once wrote about an embarrassing moment with a bugger he had just picked while on an elevator. He also quoted a beautiful Haiku about peeing in the snow by a famous poet. So he revised his statement saying that a poem can be about such things as long as it is done with class.

Since that day I’ve wanted to explore the subject. Here is the challenge: write about anything that would be considered rude and crude, without grossing us out! (I thought we should stick to the Haiku format since it already has so much class.)

Here are some of my own examples:

Seeing I was left alone
I allowed myself
An extravagant nose pick

I tried not to make a sound
In the quiet room
Beyond my steady tinkling.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Argeaux,
08 June 2004, 02:12 PM
zoom
a soft wind breaks the stillness
a foul cloud blossoms
oops i did it again

i greet the new day gladly
with one exception
hello morning breath

it crackles under my foot
girlie screamings cease
rest in peace, Mr. Cockroach

This message has been edited. Last edited by: zoom,


WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

sometimes, you just have to say 'what the f...'

10 June 2004, 01:37 PM
zoom
your winged exit
technicolor destiny
bug on a windshield


WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

sometimes, you just have to say 'what the f...'

10 June 2004, 01:38 PM
zoom
come on y'all--it's fun!! where's Sara--she'll get crude wioth me!!


WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

sometimes, you just have to say 'what the f...'

10 June 2004, 05:43 PM
Smirk Morgan
a sneeze escapes me
it sprays my computer screen
spots dance then slide down





10 June 2004, 10:17 PM
xenacrazed
A downward spiral,
excrement smears both his legs
near the locked latrine
11 June 2004, 12:14 AM
Smirk Morgan
eeewwwww


ahem

stained, smeared, bloody clothes
Expensive panties ruined
Where's a pad when you need one?


thank you and good night





11 June 2004, 12:26 AM
Herculena
big eyes golden fur
white feet scurrying but then
the cat's jaws break bone
11 June 2004, 12:35 AM
Smirk Morgan
the porcelain altar calls
five beers and three Jagers flee
my stomach and mouth and splash





11 June 2004, 12:39 AM
Herculena
short breaths sweat groaning
joined together breaking
Article XXIX

--

Archangel Michael
trampling chained blackened balrog
how come you have breasts?
11 June 2004, 02:29 PM
zoom
who do you talk to
as yellow stream runs down aisle
schizophrenic bus rider

(unfortunately true story...)


WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

sometimes, you just have to say 'what the f...'

11 June 2004, 07:23 PM
xenacrazed
Probing inner ear
Mining the creamy ear wax
Spread gentle on toast.
11 June 2004, 11:00 PM
zoom
tiny bug invades
thunderstorm brews in my gut
projectile vomit


WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

sometimes, you just have to say 'what the f...'

12 June 2004, 12:48 AM
Smirk Morgan
early morning bath
Mental fog a razor slips
Bloody nicks hurt me so





12 June 2004, 01:17 AM
xenacrazed
Crisp Arkansas morn
sweet the smell of ma's breakfast:
barbequed tourists
12 June 2004, 07:12 AM
Madogis
dappled fur abounds
surface lacks white enamel
must clean teeth shortly


--------------------------------------
12 June 2004, 10:56 PM
Free Madness
On key with his high C
The pompous tenor breaks wind
Excellent Harmony


"Even when you're down and blue, just remember that someone out there loves you, even if you don't know it and even if you haven't yet met them. There's someone out there waiting for you, remember that and keep faith. You'll get there."
~~Johnny Depp.


13 June 2004, 11:12 AM
Argeaux
drank some red last night
glass after glass of shiraz
woke up in vomit


~~~~~~~~~~

13 June 2004, 11:16 AM
Argeaux
baby smiles and laughs
wipes my face with tiny hand
covered in her poo


~~~~~~~~~~

13 June 2004, 12:59 PM
Monkeydog Jones
Again I take it out
I will no go blind ever
Seven times a day

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Monkeydog Jones,
13 June 2004, 01:12 PM
Monkeydog Jones
glistening and wet
sparkling sometimes reflecting
white urinal cake
13 June 2004, 02:13 PM
Monkeydog Jones
Red badge of courage
Flat and warm, larger in death
Sleep well my squirrel friend
13 June 2004, 07:00 PM
xenacrazed
Warm Arkansas night
'Neath the pines we kiss, explore
My sister my love
13 June 2004, 07:16 PM
xenacrazed
Hear the children laugh
in blissful glee they pursue
a pup to torture
13 June 2004, 10:40 PM
Herculena
I have yet to figure out who is the most twisted haiku'ing fool in this thread!~