|Chief Chesty Forlock|
DEATH IN THE FOREST
Wisknort, 22 year old male, with a limp.
He likes to fight with axes. Big, BIG axes.
He has lived in the Mountains for most of his life, mostly making a living by raiding hapless travellers.
He has a limp from a fight he had when he was younger.
Vidimir, 26 year old male, very tall.
Likes to use bows and arrows.
Often gets mistaken for an elf, but actually has the blood of dwarves and behemoths running though his veins.
He is aware of constant raiding parties from the mountain and has brushed with them several times.
Skellous, male 27.
Skellous is a muscle bound soldier who has retired from the battlefield.
He now spends his days in solitude in a small cove. Mostly fishing.
Every now and then he likes to walk softly through the nearby forest and spy on happenings from afar.
The_End is playing James, male 28.
James is of average height. Some think he is average in every way.
What they do not know is that he has an extraordinary intelligence.
He lives through cunning and treachery, for James is a quiet, psychopath.
James was once friends with Skellous, but they had a falling out.
James is watching and waiting for the right time to kill Skellous.
DICE ROLL GUIDE:
9 Y / 10 N = 9 and under is yes, 10 and over is no
It was a warm day in January. You could smell the blossoms growing in the forest and the occasional hum of bees. Vidimir awoke in the late afternoon.
Vidimir: *yawns* Hrm... I suppose getting up and preparing for dinner breakfast IE hunting would be a good start
9 Y / 10 N = 9 and under is yes, 10 and over is no
Vidimir decided to head off to hunt.
Vidimir: I successfully put my hunting gear on and didn't trip over my pants, is what she's saying
He grabbed his bow and arrow and strode towards the woods. As he did so he had the uneasy feeling that he was being watched.
Vidimir decided to stop and look around.
Vidimir: I listen for wild boars and the like
Vidimir: you know, dangerous animals
Vidimir: as opposed to rabbits
9 N / 10 Y
1 No wild boars.
Vidimir: sweet no goring for me
Vidmir did not find any wild boars. He did, however, find some newly made human tracks. His eyes narrowed.
Vidimir: did they now? :P
9 Y / 10 N Vidimir finds Skellous tracking him.
16 No. Vidimir did not find Skellous tracking him.
But ... Skellous IS tracking him.
Skellous follows Vidimir, but doesn't notice that he is also being tracked.
9 tracked by James / 10 tracked by Wisk
4 James is tracking Skellous.
Fun times are ahead.
James could see him. James could smell him.
A big, sack of flesh.
Bulging and sweating and waiting to be broken down and boiled into a broth.
James was hungry.
James eats people? 9 N / 10 Y
13 James most definitely eats people.
James is going to attack Skellous with poison darts.
Do the darts hit Skellous?
9 N / 10 Y
2 The darts miss Skellous.
Skellous hears a strange whizzing sound near his ear.
It continues into the forest.
The poison on the dart was fatal. 9 N / 10 Y
4 The poison WAS fatal.
Skellous decides to stop and lay some traps.
Not just any traps. Traps for those being hunted by a hunter.
A stick sharpened at both ends.
James: hides in fear of detection
James is able to hide. 9 Y / 10 N
12 James tries to hide but is spotted by Wisknort.
Wisknort has entered the forest looking for prey.
He spies James watching someone and is intrigued.
Usually at this point Wisknort would have his axe held up to his prey's throat.
He senses that, on this occassion, he'd be wise to scout his prey out first.
Wisknort: I'll just slowly walk, close the distance a bit. I can't quite leap that far.
Wisknort decides to wait. Is he able to? 9 Y / 10 N
7 Yes. Wisknort is able to wait ... for now.
Does Wisknort get discovered by anyone else?
9 Y / 10 N
Who discovers Wisknort?
1,2 = Skell 3,4 = Vid 5,6 = Jim
2 it is.
Whilst laying traps Skellous decided to circle around where he suspected his tracker was.
Argy: He was surprised to find an individual he had seen undertaking various nefarious activities in the forest, mostly bailing up hapless travellers.
Skellous realised he was as yet unnoticed.
Skellous decided to approach Wisknort and make him an offer.
He crept up stealthily behind him. The axe-welder, more used to noise and bluster and the bellows of the innocent, did not hear him.
Skellous drew out his battle knife and slowly slid it in front of Wisknort's throat, from behind.
"Do. Not. Move."
Wisknort could sense that those words meant for seriouzzz.
He decided to comply.
"Drop that axe."
Wisk let go of his favourite weapon, reluctantly. With great trepidation he heard it hit the soft forest floor with a dull thud. That axe was like a part of his arm.
He had a feeling that soon he would be lying next to it, as full of life as it was.
"Now listen, boy. I have a proposition for you."
"Speak." Wisknort was a man of few words.
"You have been tracking a man through these woods. He is a problem for me. Nod if you understand".
Wisknort nodded slowly, but not too rigorously. The blade at his throat was sharp.
"I would see that this problem is taken care of. Are you up to that task?"
9 Y / 10 N
Wisknort nodded yes.
"Now see here boy. I will lower this knife, but be assured that I can throw it faster than you can run or pick up that axe."
Wisknort turned to face his captor.
"Why should I help you," he asked?
"It's very simple. You like to gain employment out of these woods. I like to be left in peace and quiet. You also like to be able to see and walk around, I would wager.
This knife is sharp. I have been throwing it for over 10 years and sharpening it every night.
If you want to continue your ranger ways, and to live to see an old age with all of your limbs intact, do not toy with me. Or you will see my knife. It will be the last thing one of your eyes will see."
Wisknort agrees to kill James. 9 Y / 10 N
Wisknort lunges at Skellous and tries to take his knife.
Wisknort's leg gives way. 9 N / 10 Y
Wisknort manages to grab Skellous' ankle. 9 Y / 10 N
Skellous stabs WIsknort's hand. 9 N / 10 Y
Wisknort pulls Skellous to the ground. 9 Y / 10 N
<=RB= Argy: 7 Yes!
Wisknort and Skellous struggle on the ground.
Skellous drops his knife. 9 N / 10 Y
Wisknort and Skellous continue to struggle for what seems like an eternity.
Wisknort wins the struggle 9 / Skellous wins the struggle 10
5 Wisknort wins
Youth overcomes experience.
Wisknort is able to wrestle Skellous to the ground and places both his knees on Skellous' arms.
"Now we will see if you will do a job for me. That job shall be called ... bait".
Vidimir stopped. For the second time today he felt that something was not right in the forrest.
He listened carefully. Distinctly he heard the scuffles of men fighting.
Vidimir decided to cautiously check out the commotion.
He crouched and moved silently close to the forest undergrowth, almost at one with it.
He can smell the dampness, the moss and the leaves. It is when he feels most at home.
Now is not the time for pleasant thoughts. Hunter and hunted are playing a game.
He slows as he nears the source of the sound.
Two men are wrestling on the ground. Eventually the younger of the two gains advantage. He huffs and puffs as he leans on the elder man’s arms.
Vidimir: I think, I'd like to observe, but with my bow nocked and ready to be shot at a moment’s notice, if that's allowable
Is Vidimir able to observe without being spotted? N 10 / Y 11
Vidimir creeps behind a tree to keep an eye on what is going on.
Without warning a hand covers his throat and a strong arm encircles him.
He is dragged through the forest at a great speed.
The forest he so loves has become his greatest enemy, as it snags him with branches and stones.
Vidimir hits his head on a boulder and blackness envelopes him.
When he regains consciousness he is wrapped in vines and is next to a raging fire.
There is a large cauldron of water over the fire. It has not yet started to boil.
A non-descript man is kneeling by the fire, stoking the kindling.
He is poking the fire with a long, thin carving knife.
Can Vidimir reach his boots? Reach boots 10 Y / 11 N
<=RB= Argy: 16 N
Vidimir’s arms are in vines.
James is busy stoking the flames.
James: “Oh hi, you’re up. I’ve given you poison. I have the antidote. I will give you it, if you kill someone for me.”
Does Vidimir agree to this arrangement? (and if not, WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?) 10 Y / 11N
Obvious dice are obvious.
Vidimir asks, "How do I really know that you have poisoned me?"
James replies, “How do you know you aren’t? Want to wait and see?”
Vidimir: "Grrr... Fine."
"Next question, how do I know you will give me the antidote?"
James: “You’re not dead yet, right? I think it’s going well for you so far.”
"OK then, who do I have to kill?"
James:”A crazy berserker called Skellous.”
"One last question. Why do you want me to kill this Skellous you speak of?"
James: “Aren’t you ever pissed when your kill is taken? She was mine, not his ..... it doesn’t mater.”
Does Vidimir spawn a pickaxe and go mining into a mountain? 10Y / 11N
8 Yes. Oh fuck. Now I have to work this in.
"This is ridiculous. Then again, all my questions have been ridiculous, but at least they have had a point. They have given me just enough time to spawn this pickaxe, with which I will now be digging into this mountainous earth underneath me, and making good my escape. Goodbye."
"WAIT," calls James. "It will be fun. Plus he's with that Mountain bandit. We can kill one each."
Vidimir: "Not having hunted with others, I can't say that I know the feeling... But if it will get me the antidote, I guess I have no choice."
“Is good choice, elf."
"Your mother is an elf. Not mine, though."
"If it looks like an Elf, talks like an Elf and smells like an Elf ..."
"We haven't got all day before I'm poisoned to death. Let's roll, monkey man. Really, would it KILL you to shower every now and then?"
James and Vidimir skulk off into the forest once more, keeping a wary eye on each other.
The Odd Couple theme plays.
Eventually they find Wisknort and Skellous. Wisknort has dragged Skellous up to his mountain lair.
Wisknort has tied vines around Skellous and dangled him off the edge of the mountain.
Rolling for number of vines.
"Now, call me boy again and we'll see what we see."
"You mean like this, BOY?!!"
"Well, now you just pissed me the fuck off. Let's play a little game I made up. It's called Cut The Rope. Except I play it with vines."
Wisknort proceeds to whack at each vine with his axe.
I shall all roll a d6.
1-3 the vine is cut, 4-6 it isn't.
Vine 1 = 1 Cut
Vine 2 = 5 Not cut
Vine 3 = 3 Cut
Vine 4 = 4 Not cut
Vine 5 = 3 Cut
Vine 6 = 6 Not cut
Vine 7 = 4 Not cut
Vine 8 = 1 Cut
Vine 9 = 3 Cut
Vine 10 = 6 Not cut
Vine 11 = 1 Cut
Vine 12 = 3 Cut
Vine 13 = 6 Not cut
Vine 14 = 5 Not cut
Vine 15 = 2 Cut
"That's 8 vines cut. 8 out of 17. Not a lot of strength left to hold you up. If over half these vines are cut, it's a big drop for you. No one has ever survived that drop. So sad."
Vine 16 = 2 Cut
"9 vines out of 17 cut. Oh, one of those vines must've been stronger than I thought. Looks like you've got one ... last ... chance ..."
Wisknort hacks at the vine with an almighty swing.
Vine 17 = 5 Not cut
"Well, it looks as though it's not a good dropping day for you. You can just 'hang out' for a bit."
Wisknort looted Skellous’ pockets 10Y / 11N
Wisknort got how much gold? Rolling.
EPIC 20 GOLD. 20 x 10 000!!!!!
Wisknort: Watchu wanna say, suspenderman?
Skellous is able to search a secret pocket, which is within reach.
Does he find Vidimir's lucky knife?
<=RB= Argy: 10N / 11Y
11 Skellous finds a strange knife in one of his pockets.
Skellous: Calmly say "You know...it's a shame really, you'd have benefited if you just killed who I wanted you to. He's a lunatic and eats people, plus he lives in around here. The last time I checked the less people around the less 'business' you'll have, correct? Not to mention that...He HATES me and wants me dead... If you were to kill me before he got a chance to..." *burst into laughter*
Wisknort: “Hahaha! Let him come! More blood for my axe, more money for my pocket!”
Wisknort: *bellows out a laugh* “I have a cliff, it's only right that I laugh from the top of it.”
The mountains echo Wisknort's laugh back at him, as they have for many years.
Skellous: “You're good, but you've got no chance dealing with that maniac...”
Wisknort: "Call him."
Skellous furiously hacks at the vines with his lucky knife.
Vine 2 = 3 CUT!!
Wisknort: "Strain's real, gramps."
Skellous drops down the mountain ... and lands on Vidimir just as he is walking up it with James.
Vidimir breaks Skellous' fall and says:
James lunges for Skellous.
Does he hit him? 10N / 11Y
20. Holy crap!!
James runs the poisonous knife clear through Skellous’ heart. The force is so strong that it knocks Skellous clean off the mountain. His body arcs through space, and he flies off somewhere into the forest, never to be seen again.
James: “FACK! MY FOOD!”
In his heart James felt something unusual. A sort of warmth.
He remembered her. A long time ago.
When the sounds in his head didn't flutter.
She smelt like violets. She would have tasted like butter.
He did not know why Skellous killed her. He never would.
While James lunges at Skellous, Vidimir spies a vial in his pocket.
Vidimir makes a grab for the vial.
Does he get it? 10Y / 11N
Vidimir starts to gallop down the mountain as fast as he can, while taking gulps out of his precious vial.
Does he trip on the mountain?
10N / 11Y
8 No he doesn't.
Is the vial antidote or poison?
Antidote 10 / Poison 11
20 oh dear.
Vidimir reaches the bottom of the mountain, and clutches at his chest.
He examines the vial more closely and reads a scribbled label.
It says "POSHUN".
Phew, he thinks. Potion.
Potion. The antidote. I'm safe.
He hears a thunderous laugh rolling down the mountain.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You drunk the poshun. It's so poshunous."
In horror Vidimir realises that James can't spell.
He has just consumed an entire bottle of poison.
Vidimir clutches at his throat in agony. He needs water. He needs to spit out this "poshun". He needs to ... open a vein!
Vidimir gets his lucky knife out.
The knife that is so lucky that it somehow found its way back into Vidimir's hands.
Vidimir takes the knife. Where to cut?
Somewhere that will let blood out quickly. So much poshun. Blood. In the poshun. Poshun blood. Gllwef
awf oihjfeaw ]fo ifa eih woaefi ef
In agony Vidimir slashes his throat.
Life 3 / Death 4 (after all, you are full of poison and about to cut your own throat)
Vidimir's shriek's fill the forest. His convulses on the ground, a thrashing blur of blood and vomitous rage.
As his life blood seeps into the undergrowth he realises that he is about to become one with his true love. Fertiliser for the foliage.
He stops writhing, gives into the pain, and smiles.
Vidimir: "I never did get to eat that rabbit"
James falls into one of the traps Skellous laid out earlier 10Y / 11N
1 Oh dear lord
James, not quite knowing what to do now that his life mission to kill Skellous has been achieved, runs down the mountain after Vidimir.
He trips half way down, and rolls the rest of the way.
James falls into one of Skellous’ traps.
Wisknort: I didn't even get to kill anyone. -./-
Wisknnort: "HAHAHAHAHA, MORE MONEY FOR ME. I EAT ANOTHER DAY. My axe can wait, it ever thirsts for blood..."
In the Annals of Argy we find the following.
I once heard tell of a murderous man called James.
He came to an unfortunate end, although it was fortunate for the many souls he had persecuted in the past.
He was found by a group of forest hunters, impaled by a stick sharpened at both ends.
One end was driven firmly into the ground, by someone who had obviously learnt his craft in the military.
The other end, and we're not sure how this had managed to occur, had pierced James anus, exited his scrotum, punctured his belly, travelled along the end of his spine, burst through his chest, and finally pierced through his chin up into his brain cavity.
He was well dead.
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