If you simply must know what brought this poem on, PM me and I'll tell you. Otherwise, take it for what it is.

For your amusement

"Finish Line"

I've been racing since my first breath
Thought my life through to death
World says "gotta toe the line"
"trash like you, make it double time"

Tried my best to just stay afloat
Waved my arms to flag salvation's boat
Passed me by, left me to sink
I've been told, what else should I think?

World says "better not fail"
"loser like you goin' straight to hell"
World says "lemme see your best"
"dirt like you don't deserve a rest"

I've been running, can't come in last
Depending on me, shouldering the past
And I'm afraid that I can't win
Forgotten most everything I believed in

World says "you can't be loved"
"no one wants the rejected son"
So when you ask if I believe
The answer's "I will, when the finish line's been reached"

--SMC

Sara I don't think I need to PM you to understand this poem's origin. It's a very nicely crafted thought on how impossible it can be to please others and prove your worth. The anger and angst comes through very well here, without feeling over the top. I think it is a revealing look inside at where some of the pain that we all feel comes from.

I love this, Sara! I agree with what Nanzar said. Very well said. What's funny is I'm totally hearing bass guitar riffs as I read it. Like you could easily make it into a song that becomes anthem-like.

I like how you express that sense of having to measure up beyond normal achievement. Like you're striving for atonement that you think is impossible to attain. The sense of impending burnout at the face of an impossible task comes through as well.

Very cool!

Nanzar, thank you for the response. And you're absolutely correct, it is all about proving one's worth and pleasing others. I'm glad the anger and angst wasn't over the top, I was worried about that.

Chiana, thank you as well for the response. Heh, that'd be kinda cool actually, a Sara poem made into a song. Have my people call your people, we'll do lunch. You're right about the sense of impending burnout though.

You both hit the nail on the head, thanks for reading and replying. It means lots.

And Nanzar, I've read your new poem, I'm just trying to formulate a good response. It's hitting me on several different levels.

quote:

Originally posted by Sara:

Chiana, thank you as well for the response. Heh, that'd be kinda cool actually, a Sara poem made into a song. Have my people call your people, we'll do lunch. You're right about the sense of impending burnout though.

But would this be the single before or after "Tip Jar of Death?"

After.

This is awesome Sara. Damn, it sounds like what John has done for years, shit I almost thought I was reading something he might write. I think in many ways we all do this, strive to please others, toe the line or if we don't, we're losers, we're going to hell...it's such a program and pattern we're all raised with in one way or another.

Anyway great work. As someone who has toed the line for years, or tried to, I think i'm finally learning tho that I'm already at the finish line, I just have to make sure I use my winnings wisely. Hope that makes sense.

I agree with Chiana too it'd make a damn good song!