It's this crimson ribbon that drives you wild
Wraps around you and loosens your body
While tightening your hold on ome
And I love its silken feel
And fear it buckling under the strain
Of our movement left limber
When it should be wrought so tight

It frightens me to ask what we would be

Without this crimson ribbon that drives you wild
Wraps me around your loose body
While I hold you tight
And you love my silken feel
And fear my buckling under the strain
Left by our limber movement
After being wound so tight.

P.S.

Any fans of red wine out there? :P

mons,

The first time I read through this one, I thought you were saying the exact same thing in the second stanza...and I do mean exact. In other words, Keri should not read poems when she first wakes up apparently. But now I "got it" and realized it wasn't exactly the same but a variation of the words and therefore changing the meaning of them in some ways. So don't mind me, I'm a dork.

I really like the visual images, they really made me feel like I was there and I could see everything transpiring. I think the single line inbetween the two main stanzas is interesting and speaks the truth behind the actions of everything else.

You got a knack for creating images, making them stick out, and this is no exception. Good jobs, mons.

~Gabber



"There is a storm in my head
It rains on my bed
When you are not here
I'm not afraid of dying
But I am afraid of losing you

Maybe I'm addicted
I'm out of control
But you're the drug that keeps me from dying
Maybe I'm a liar
But all I really know
Is you're the only reason I'm trying..."

THANKS GABBER!

yeah, it looks like the same thing twice, but it should be REAL different. i think i always misread poems the first time, that's why i read everyone's poems a couple of times at LEAST, and even then i can still miss out on some of the coolest subtleties. i'm glad you liked the images, and that line in the middle worked out better than i thought, kind of an accident at that.

i don't like red wine... but sometimes.. he he..... sometimes its worth tomorrows hangover! ha *evil smile*

mons

Nice.

And yes, I AM a fan of red wine (in fact, I'm drinking some now as I type).

Should the third line read "While tightening your hold on me?"

As it is now it makes me read it as "While tightening your hold on Ame".

~~~~~~~~~~

Who did you think I would be? - HA! - well you got me instead.

No no... that was a direct come on to Ame... thanks for noticing. ha ha.... damn, apparently i should reread what i write to catch those kinds of things! *laughing* Thanks argy...i'll fix it strait away!

i like sweet wines... you know, the kind that tastes nothing like wine, more like soda! i like sugar...mmmmm suuuugar.... real wines taste like warm beer to me... i know, i know, sacrifice me at the stake for that one.

mons

ooops, can't change it. i posted as a "visitor".

mons

Scroller subtext... my own little fan club.

I am still waiting for that erotic poem about us Argy....

========================

Dawn: It was like a meat party in my mouth! ... okay, now I'm just a kid and I KNOW that didn't sound right.