THE FOLLOWING PIECE OF WRITING IS NOT RECOMMENDED FOR THOSE UNDER THE AGE OF CONSENT.

IT CONTAINS DESCRIPTIONS OF A GRAPHIC NATURE.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

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Said it to me. Opened dribbling mouth and said it. Didn't want to hear no more. Told him no. Went to my room. Shut door real quiet. Put Manson on. Loud. In headphones. Plugged in joystick. Classic Doom. God level. Clubbed demons. Smash. Smash. Smash. Snuck into his room. Found pocket knife in bedside drawer. Favourite. Took it. Found magazines with girls in bottom draw. Took them. Back in room. Cut pictures into little pieces. Cut girls' tits off. Poked out their eyes. Pushed knife up them. Punched wall. Played Doom. Turned Manson up. Rubbed all over girls. Come on them. Laughed at sticky. Laughed at him. Weed in corner of room. Pointed dick at him through wall. Come on him. Ripped magazines. Threw them at him through wall. Cut hole in fly screen. Pushed through hole. Fell out into night. Ran. Ran. Ran. Pain chased me. Bright lights in eyes. Pain in head. Lied on ground. Rolled around. Pain everywhere. Coughed. Wheezed. Choked. Tore shirt. Beat head on ground. Don't remember no more. Woke up. Seen water. Smooth. Water swallowed up pain. All better. Lighter. Walked home this morning. Pain was heavy and sunk. Gone now. No more bad words.

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Describe a lake as seen by a young man who has just committed a murder. Do
not mention the murder and don't mention the body.

where the ...did you get the inspiration for this?

sure is interesting though.

It was an exercise from the writing course I've been doing. The exercise is described in italics.

For my inspiration I just thought about what it might be like to be inside the head of a teenage boy who had just committed murder, and was looking at a lake.

From working with quite a few angry young men over the years, as a youth worker, that seems to me how some of them might think.

Argy,



You successfully disturbed me. *shudder*

~Gabber

I have to alter this "asssignment" to fit the idea that popped into my head .. but HAy Argy youve inspired ME to write stuff..Many an English teacher has tried& failed at this ..!!!

& they are,,,"Dead Dead Yes ALL dead!" Or so old they re just wisshin they were .

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T he teen boys stood in the park...bored.
One glanced over at the shriveled old man on the bench by the small lake.
He sat alone, wearing a much too heavy coat for a warm spring afternoon.He was grinning & shaking his head,lost deeply in a conversation only he could hear.
the boy snickered & pointed him out to his friends.
"Lookit that crazy old bastard !.. Why dont we throw his dirty Ass in the lake."
"Maybe he'll get the message & go to the old folks home where he belongs."

"Geeze! Leave him alone..." piped the one with the Zits.
"Hes just feedin the Birds...You just cant stand seeing anyone being Happy ,can you.?"

They all wandered off in search of something to do.

The old man was Oblivious to most of what went on around him as he threw crumbs to the birds..

He contemplated the Bottom of the Lake..
His gold tooth glistened between his mangy old lips.He wondered how far into the mud something might sink after nearly 50 years.

Good old Marvin..
Its true ..
You never do forget your first one.

This is EXTREMELY good writing, Brucy.

Your dialogue is spot on - very natural.

I like the point of view of the story too - omniscient; seeing everyone/everything at once.

Great twist at the end.

More! More!

Ack ! Where are my Manners?!?

You made such a nice reply ..
Even included a compliment..
( IRarely get any of those hee hee)

& I forgot to say Thanks ..
actually this was the easiest thing to write out of my 4 or 5 things I have put in this forum,all totalled.

The others are Alot more about me...

HAy!

Maybe thats why they go Ignored !!