I look over the hills that flow away from here. Blessed solitude at last. It's unusually lush for so little rain. A green drought. No cracked ground to mourn over, yet not wet enough for the luxury of a soothing shower. Tonight I will content myself with a long soak in the tub and listen to the wind worry nothing but the pine needles. The room will glow orange with candlelight as incense wafts, gently stirred by rising streams of steam. Safe at last.

These stones of eyes furrow against the clouds slowly brewed by the horizon. The gray mass tinged with black should signify trouble but, this time, doesn't. The thought of comfort and warmth inside the shack will let me enjoy the drama of the tempest around. I know how to maintain serenity within. A lifetime learning to bite my tongue has steeled me.

Birds tuck heads under wings, prepared for the storm. All has grown supernaturally silent. Few rabbits flash, now. The burrows will fill with water and little ones will drown. No, I'll not have any unhappy thoughts in my head today, of all days. It's just me and the approaching fury, and that will also pass. Tomorrow the dry spell will have broken. I will feel nourished. The fresh breeze will chafe my cheeks and replenish the glow that has all but leaked out of them.

Brittle stalks crunch under my boots as I head back to the house paddock. Everything needs to be secured before tonight's elemental drama can be truly savoured. Then, a new day, in a world scrubbed clean.

--------------------------------------------------

The assignment was: "describe a landscape as seen by an old woman, whose disgusting and detestable husband has just died. Do not mention the husband and do not mention death".

[This message was edited by Lady Lazarus on 08 September 2003 at 06:59 AM.]

My teacher felt that the whole piece was best exemplified by:

quote:

---

A lifetime learning to bite my tongue has steeled me.

---

I wrote most of the sentences as they appeared, except I had the second last sentence as my conclusion. When I was reading back over the piece, and tightening it, that didn't seem quite appropriate.

I chose the final sentence instead, to finish with, because it highlighted a comparison between the storm to come, and the calm, new beginning after it - a metaphor for the old woman's marriage to her tyrant of a husband.

Thanks for your comments. Glad you got something out of it.

Argy,

You've got a talent. You really do. I'm always happy when I see a new piece from you...and I'm always happy when I get to read it. Because I know that you'll bring something fresh, new to ponder...or to enjoy. You've done that again, of course.

I especially enjoyed these lines:

"I know how to maintain serenity within. A lifetime learning to bite my tongue has steeled me."

I get why you chose that line (and why your teacher did) to encompass the assignment...but it is also very powerful standing alone by itself. Very interesting and powerful.

I also enjoyed the last paragraph, summed everything up very well and left me with that satisfied feeling.

Very good, I enjoyed this one.

~Gabber

Hi Argy,
I haven't had much time to post lately but I've read most of what you've been writing lately and I've really enjoyed it.

Gabber is right, you do have something, a way of seeing and letting us see into the depths of human-ness(- that's proabably not a word).

This line perked up my interest:

"No, I'll not have any unhappy thoughts in my head today, of all days."

But I must admit I didn't get what was happening to her. I didn't get that her husband was now gone. I had to read the assignment to figure it out. ( I may be a little slow.) However, if this were a book, and this was the begining, I guess you would soon have let the story out, and that would have kept me reading.

And maybe that WAS the point of the assignment.

[ May 31, 2003, 12:05 PM: Message edited by: Nanzar ]