Hellooooooo Out There!!!!!

HAPPY FARKIN NEW YEAR EVERYONE....huh?

*crickets**crickets**crickets*

It's January 9th and the crickets rang in the new year without us.

They had a goooood time, I guess lol.

I had an epic new year, played and sang my heart out with several other GREAT musicians...man if we could get those people EVERY time I played the open mic nights here in Philly--that would be EPIC.

But, (sigh), even the Scrolls are jumpin' more than the Philly music scene, thanks to the farked up elimination of arts sponsorship here.

AND it's not gonna get much better now that DUMBASS TRUMPLER is gonna be inaugurated--aaaa shut up shut up, I don't wanna think about it.

Well, if xc bychance comes back and reads this, I just got a message from Julius that he and Natalie Adele are gonna crash the inauguration by flying in on bald eagles with helicopters carrying a bunch of other doggies and kitties and they're all gonna "christen" Trumpler's head when he's accepting his, er, presidency, whatever ya wanna call it.

And ferget about his speech cuz Natalie Adele employed about a million pigeons from Philly, NY and other areas, to christen Trump's head. Yep these pigeons are gonna take home the speech!

And then the Native Americans will do a war dance led by Buffy St. Marie, and Johnny and Neil Young will get up and perform "Indian Givers," while the land gets given back by Natalie Adele.

Meanwhile, a pigeon-poop-covered Trump is led off by Security and Neil Young leads everyone in a chorus of:

"KEEP ON ROCKIN' IN THE FREE WORLD!"

C'mon crickets, sing with me!

*chirp* *chirp* *chirp*

(sigh)

So, anywho, I'm bumping up the What If thread, cuz it seems whenever an old scroller returns that's where they go. And hey, before there was Why is it that, I hate it when, Why not, I like it when, and *cough*"President"*cough*Trumpler...there was WHAT IF. And that's really what it all comes down to.

I'm having surgery soon, umbilical hernia, ugh! Need to take a break from performing, and deal with all that for a bit. Hopefully I'll be able to poke my nose in here more often than not.

It's that warm, fuzzy nostalgic feeling of anonymity that I miss about message boards. Facebook, Twitter...yeah that can be fun for awhile, but everyone knows you IRL and online. I miss the fun days when nobody knew who we were online.

Anyway...onward, cricket soldiers, you got a whole 24 hours worth of singing to do until the next one posts here. Ready--GO!

I was born in the What If thread and I'll die in the What If thread!

It is a nice, comforting feeling, posting here again. Seeing my old avatar again, brings a tear to my eye..

And the thrill of coming up with a new sig pic!

And yes, that air of mystery, not knowing who anyone *really* is on here.. the good old days of not revealing anything too personal, compared to these days where we just go by our real names and give out our addresses at the drop of a hat to anyone that asks!

I hope your umbilical surgery goes well and isn't too painful!!

Thanks, Salem! I hope it goes ok too it's the first surgery I will have ever had. But I'm glad I'm doing it, and really hope a lot of things improve afterwards.

Yep, remember when everyone would change their sig handles once a week? xc was one of the few who never did that lol...but I would do it so often I think Argeaux and the others just started calling me Kate, my real first name, rather than WP9. I think Tiki called me Kate often enough on the scrolls that people got it. Lol. You probably remember that Tiki and I were childhood buds, and she introduced me to this place. I don't know where she's at now...but oh well. Maybe she's got a rocking chair of her own! Lmao ah well. Catch you later, Salem!

I've never really had surgery before, just broken bone mending. I *do* work in a hospital though, but a non surgical one. Hey, didn't xc work in a hospital? Am *I* slowly becoming xc ???

Ah yes, the name changes! Trying to decipher who everyone was based on sig pics, locations and post counts I never changed my name though, Salem til I die!

I do remember Li'l Tiki! But I had forgotten she was your connection here! Sad that you have lost touch though. Maybe all the Scrollers of yore are on rocking chairs in a special Scroller retirement home and we need to go bust them all out, for one last big adventure. It'll be like a movie! At least one of them will say "I'm gettin to old for this shit." Box office smash!

Hahaha! Yep, definitely a box office smash. I imagine Amethyst will be the one that says,"I'm getting too old for this shit," or maybe Nora lmao. Or even me!

You said on What If that you were 15 when you came here and now you're 32...yep, time flies but you're still young. Actually age is just a number. I was 32 when I first came here and I'll be 50 come February 28th. But I'm still learning what I want to be when I grow up!

You worked in a hospital? I know several people who did that...nurse's aids or nurses. It's not for the meek of heart. Good on ya for doing it! I don't know that I could deal, but then, I used to pose for the art students as my day job. Not many I know could deal with that either! It's not a walk in the park but it sure beats having to talk all the time and serve cappuccinos at the drop of a hat!

Oh well...have a great day, gonna "what if" a bit before I go to sleep. Til later!

Rest In Peace mama xc

My Mom passed away Dec 9 unexpectedly. i have been devastated ever since. She was a very sweet and kind woman, my best friend and i had been looking after her since my Dad passed away almost 23 years ago. She helped come up with my handle here as she said i was "crazed about Xena". i could go on of for days about how much i love her and miss her. But i think my days here are coming to a close. i may post again in the future but it's going to be a long while before i would return on a regular basis. The pain is just too deep to put on the xc persona. i hope Kate and others can keep the forums going if and when i return. i would much rather not be in this world anymore and i am uncertain on my future at this point. On X-WP, Xena always said the departed can hear your thoughts. So i know mama xc can hear mine and know how i miss her and how lost i am.

((((((HUGS XC!!!!)))))))

I am so sorry to hear about Mama xc, Scroll brother. She did sound amazing from what I heard, and very good to you. It's wonderful when a parent is a best friend. It's hard as hell to lose one too. I went through that with John's mom...even though she wasn't my mom I felt a profound loss and cried for days. Just know that I am thinking about you and I know mama xc would want you to keep living out your life here on earth until whatever gods are out there reunite you with her. It does hurt. The pain feels unbearable but if there's one thing I've learned, it's that going through it and letting it pass is the best way at least for me. It's good to talk to the spirits who leave us when it gets hard. I know some might think it's a bit loopy but I agree with xena. I believe the departed can always hear our thoughts, and our words.

Anyway I will hold the fort here, xc. Take your time and heal and know that you are loved and appreciated by everyone here. I am sure you saw that Salem came back, he comes and posts from time to time. I may not post every day but I do keep this place on my bookmarks, one of my first "internet homes."

RIP, mama xc, give 'em hell on the other side! And watch over your son and all who loved you. Blessed Be!!!! xxx

"The ones who love us, never really leave us."

--Sirius Black(Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)

Hey guys!!!!

Argeaux, I haven't seen Chiana since I've been back unless she's only been sending PM's? Oh well. Lots of times there will be a bunch of guests and no members except me and whoever else is here. Anyway I hope you and anyone else out there are happy and healthy!

What's been happening with me lately...it's been some time since I've been around. I got through a rather bad case of what I THOUGHT was walking pneumonia altho the chest xray came out normal... I dunno why. I was coughing so much I could not talk for a week, even above a whisper. Ugh. Anyway I found out I'm getting close to the diabetes range, so I'm going on a healthy food plan and exercise routine. I'm trying to get back into music altho it will still be awhile(hopefully not more than a week ) before I can sing with my full voice. Aside from that, things are pretty good. Looking forward to the Spring! Done with winter, bleh. Lol. Well...ttfn!!!!

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Looking in and not seeing much activity here.

i am just checking in, not really returned for good, still devastated over the loss of mama xc 6 months ago today.

Essentially gave up watching Xena probably for a long time, just not in the mood. Barely listening to any music which for me says a lot.

oh well. Hope Kate returns and others keeps the board alive until i feel like returnin for good.

Hey xc!

((((Hugs!)))) It's so hard to lose a best friend as it is, but a best friend who's a mother is one hundred times worse.

I had surgery in May so I'm slowly coming around to normal life lol. I haven't heard anything from Salem, unless he's on a thread I haven't been following...

I will check on the scrolls at most once a week, so I can see when others come back, including you if you do. I know what you mean about talking to no one but a "hollow room."

Hang in there, xc, and may the Gods keep you strong! Blessings, Kate

Wishing a happy birthday to mama xc in Heaven.

i am still devastated over her passing and still unsure of when i will return more often.

i hope Kate and all other scrollers posting or lurking are doing well.

i do not see much activity on the scrolls and that is sad.

Heyyyy xc!!!

Happy Birthday to Mama xc in Heaven from me too.

It's good to hear from you. No one else has been around and sometimes that's just depressing lol, yep!!! I keep saying I'll come by to check in but it is easier when others are around, at least I don't hear a cyber "echo!" Altho yep, I know you held this place all by yer lonesome for awhile. Least I can do is the same.
I left John completely and am living in that same room I rented last year. It's better this year. I am doing better mostly altho I get lonely. Fifty years old and never had any luck with love...after 20 long years of thinking all was great, only to know it was a lie. Kind of scary. Almost like, in a very weird way...experiencing a death myself...a death of what I thought was a good man. Only to find he was a cyborg pretending to be a man, or an alien or whatnot.
I am feeling kinda hopeful today tho. It's kinda cool, heard from some old friends, not sure if I'll hear from them again but who knows. Still it was great to have a chance reunion just for a short while!!!
Playing music again at that cafe. Still wanna get to Cali eventually. Still love Johnny Depp! Really into his work with Marilyn Manson. Marilyn is really cool. He was close to his parents too, and both of them died, most recently his dad. He took it real hard, I heard him say on an interview.
Never easy to go thru life knowing people we love will leave us. October 7th would have been the 47th birthday of my friend Sarah who died in 2014, from complications of cancer. It was a senseless death, she was unconscious on morphine, in the hospital. No chance to say a proper goodbye to her family and friends. Sad.
I do take comfort in knowing this place survived this long. Resilience is great. I was thinking of visiting a few days ago in fact. I was hoping it was still up and running! Glad it is.
And glad to hear from you, xc. Hang in there. I know things suck right now. I won't go saying they'll get better cuz that's a cliche and it doesn't always help anyway lol. Best thing to do is go thru what you need to and see what happens. Keep walkin thru it and just see what happens. There could be a rainbow, there could be another storm. But we also got good things like friends, great music cool movies/tv shows that at least entertain us and take our minds off things now and then!
Anyway, just rambling, but hope you come back soon. Julius says hi to you and Natalie Adele, and hopes that Trumparse gets impeached sometime soon! With no doggie craps takin' over either!!!!
Peace, brother.
~~Kate

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Hello, Crickets, how are y'all doing today? Y'know, the least you guys can do is play some cool music like that Cricket in Times Square did. Oh right he was a fictional character, y'all don't do that in real life do you?

Oh well. It's nice to imagine, anyway!!!

Hope everyone else is good, whoever might be lurkin' around....

Well, it's been a year today since mama xc passed. A year of depression. But i have had and continue to have some help from a special lady and that is good.

i think i will be posting more often soon. i think she would want me to continue with stuff i liked.

i hope Kate is doin well and posts more often too. i saw that JohnE Depp movie about Peter Pan for the first time this summer and it was very good.

i actually feel like i could watch Xena again, sometime soon, but just the first 4 seasons. The other seasons are just not good for me, especially now.

Anyhow, hope to post more soon.

HEY xc! So glad to hear you're feeling a little better, even though, that was quite a year and loss for you. I think you're right that mama xc would want you to keep moving forward...that's sometimes all we can do even if it's not easy. This special lady you wrote about sounds like she's really helping, so that's awesome as well!

I have gone ahead and begun a new relationship with a great human being who seems to have saved me from my OWN depression. Divorce sucks and I guess I had to go back to John two more times before I realized that marriage is as dead as a doornail. But this very special guy came into my life armed with a great sense of humor, a love of horror movies, great artistic talent and a family of artists, musicians and otherwise very spiritually sound human beings. I am now living in Langhorne, PA., in a huge house once bought by the late Charles Naylor who wrote and arranged music for such greats as Glenn Miller and Fred Wearing back in the day. He was a great influence on his whole family, and his grandson Nicholas was very touched by his presence in his life. He did an oil crayon drawing of Charles playing his piano, set in a forest. I saw that on Instagram and just had to tell Nick what an amazing artist he is. He ended up asking me out to lunch and the rest is history! He loves me for all I am, all I do, and that is rare. I love him too...he couldn't be more the opposite of John if you put Ares, God of War and the alternate white-clad Ares, God of Love in the same dimension!!!! Lmao.
Johnny Depp will always be in my heart of course...and if I met him, I would surely tell him that! xc, Finding Neverland is an epic movie and I am SO glad you watched that this summer. Especially for the last scene(*SPOILERS)...much as that makes me cry, it also has some of the best advice for coping with a loss I've ever heard: believing. <3
I am now looking forward to "The Crimes of Grindlewald," the second movie in the Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them franchise. I ADORE JK Rowling for standing up for Johnny about things that should have long been over, but of course...lol. She's a brave woman to speak her truth about something people expected her to say the opposite about.
She's always been an advocate of stopping domestic violence, etc. but STILL, not everyone is brave enough to separate the accused from the guilty. . And unfortunately we can't just expect the stigma to go away anytime soon. All we can do is just keep our heads up and stay positive, turning any frustration to laughter at the silliness.
It'd be interesting to see if JK and Johnny get together actually...who knows? She's 52 and not only still looks amazing, she's intelligent, very sweet and a good mom. One never can say! Lol.

Anyway, onward and upward, and I'll be back from time to time as well.

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Glad to hear things are going good for you, Kate. i know you needed good stuff to happen for ya for quite awhile.

i am not too optimistic about 2018 myself. i mean, Trumpett, taxes, that N. Korean Trumpett... i dunno if Natalie Adele & me gonna survive.

You two have to survive! We need Natalie Adele to run for prez again in 2020.

Julius will still be her running mate if she wants!!!

Screw Trumpetoid. He'll get impeached soon anyway. Yeah, we'll have VP Poopy Pants in his place, but what's he gonna get done, nothing. Next year's 2018, that'll be 2 years til the next election.

Now I'm gonna go to the music thread and put in some inspiring vids to help us thru the holidaze!!!! Nothing Xmas-y I promise.

Really glad you're back, xc. Hang in there!

Meh...snow comin in later.

Not sure if Natalie Adele wants to run for president again. She might have to be coaxed with Iams Dry Food and some fish flavored treats.

The world might not be here in '20 if Dumbdumb Trumpett and Kim Junk Kong have their way.

well i survived Christmas somehow. Too much loneliness gonna do me in. But now i have to figure how to survive new year's eve & day. What a waste of holiday. They should make July 15 Mid-Year Day and celebrate then instead as it's normally warm in the US then. Not sure about other countries, though.

Lol I hear ya...I wasn't as enthused about Christmas either even tho I'm with someone again and not alone anymore. A lot of family stuff, too much, really...but it wasn't just that. I need to take back Christmas a little or maybe just not worry and let it fade away. I made such a fuss over it when I was with John and he used to say I "gave" Christmas back to him as he'd lost the spirit before etc. Yeah yeah and look how he treated me in the marriage. All a bunch of using. Nick is wonderful to and for me, and he's been used and hurt enuff and both of us are healing together from our pasts as well as enjoying the present. He feels the same way as I do these days about Christmas...yeah it's nice, it's not the most important thing on earth tho. Too much pressure to enjoy it and that takes something out of it. In many ways I'm lucky to be alive and every day is a celebration not just one day. I love the idea of celebrating on July 15, sounds like "Christmas in July" lol or whatnot. But why not make every day of the year a time to be a li'l nicer to our fellow human beings and not so much about what we get at the store for family members and who needs to return what? Lmao. Gifts. Highly overrated. Love and loyalty that's a good enuff gift for me. Too idealistic maybe but oh well. I can't get too cynical it's not in my nature, 50 or not. Guess that's a good thing.
Hope 2018 is somewhat better than this year has been, in general for the world and stuff. At least for me it ended better than I thought it would, so hopefully that's a sign for better things overall!

Hi you two!!!!

Id been worrying about ya XC.....

I kept coming back lookin to see if you were posting again...

Good to see you are...



Ive been alone since 2001 ...

I sometimes,....OFTEN, go for 3-4 days without seeing another human....

Trust me humans are Very Over-Rated..LoL

Excepting us 3..that is...

I actually LIKE It now....being alone.....

I need the approval & company of NO ONE !!!!!

I might feel different if I get healthy....but thats not going well..

After jumpin thru hoops & explaining & cajoling this new Doctor for maybe 3-4 YEARS...!!!!

He FINALLY Admitted Im right I have what I say {Disease}

And agrees on the treatment he tells me ...

"They wont let me do that "...WHAT THE FUCCKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

Who wont??? the Evil Space Aliens who gave me this foul foul disease one drunken nite in 1982..?!?!?!?!?!

THat was a bit of a let down.....

Then he went & got all passive agressive-y....saying he still thinks I have a Sleep apnea problem.......


Damn people are shitty stupid corksoakers..no???

HEY BRUCY! So great to see ya back!

Okay can you sue that doctor? I mean, he tells you you have something and confirms the treatment you need...then says "they" won't let him do that???

I may not know much about the medical profession and its laws, but that sounds pretty criminal to me. To say all that, like dangling a carrot and then ripping it away. Not professional and NOT cool.

I hope you're able to get that sorted out, Brucy, that whole SITUATION alone sounds like a bag of dicks dipped in douche.

Lmao, no "political correctness" on MY end. These days I just say it like it is.
Something about being 50 eliminates any patience with dancing around "offending" anyone. Great time to be alive eh???
These days for me, fukk feminism, I'm a humanist. What's wrong with working in harmony and mutual respect, equal pay, equal treatment in work but respecting each others' differences and personalities, etc? I'll never stop being idealistic I guess but oh well. But now that the third wave has turned feminism into FACISM....I just don't have time for certain ways I was raised anymore. I don't hate any gender especially my own but some excuses for humans, man or woman, need to be JAILED.

Okay 'nuff of that, you can find more detail in my Johnny Depp thread in the Movie forum.

I hear ya about the alone thing...that can be great, an incredible FREEDOM just to do your own schedule. I'd sleep in my clothes, wake up in the middle of the night, watch a movie and then go back to sleep...I love it alone!
Actually 20 yeaers of marriage was more like being with a roommate than a husband so in a sense I never lost that freedom. But I figure fukkit, why live with some guy judging me for not cleaning house when he ignores me even when I DO clean, and yells and screams the rest of the time? Well enuff about him, but some of the best advice regarding relationships verses mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health? Came not from a shrink or even Xena altho watching her taught me more life lessons than most shrinks I ever had. Lol. Anyway this gem came from a popular 80's songwriter named Holly Knight. You two might remember songs she wrote for well-known bands and artists back then...the Divynls(I Touch Myself), Heart(Never, If Looks Could Kill, etc.). Well she had her own solo album and this song which name I can't recall right now, has the line:

"I'd rather be alone than with someone and lonely."

BRILLIANT!!!

Thing about love is, well I still believe you can HAVE the freedom ya want to do any ding dang thing you want. It should never be like the first date when you're trying to impress and put your best foot forward. When you have mutual trust, respect, and have things in common? When ya respect each other's space and what the other does and feels and says? You don't even need to explain. Cuz you just GET it. That's what love is to me...when you find the right person of course. And hell, same applies to relationships with the self, not just another human being. Who says love has to be two people? Why not one? I can't do polygamy at this stage in my life but if all else fails, alone isn't so bad really. At least cats don't snore too loud!!!

Anywho. xc, I saw your thread in the Xena forum, glad you're watching her again. So glad to see you back, Brucy, hope you stay awhile. I'll be back from time to time. Let others have their Facebook and Twitter, I always loved the sweet anonymity of the forums.

ONWARD!

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Hey BrucE, good to see you back. i know some people don't care about being alone, but i do. Just want the right type of people around and not users. The lady helping me with the grief is great. She's more of a friend anyway and i was lucky to find her. She even got me inspired to go back to the story writing i gave up years ago.

So now we have a population of 3 on the scrolls. Good. i'm just getting back in the habit of posting again. Too much hurt lately, so i am glad to see 2017 vanish.

Kate, i'm not yet watching Xena again. Soon maybe. i'm rewatching Twin Peaks & then iZombie will be back and then maybe Xena. But only with the eps i like most.

I'm glad your friend's helping you xc especially with the writing. I find that helps most deal with the circuses that tend to take space in my head. There's nothing like putting these thoughts and feelings into characters and stories. Very theraputic as well as creative.

I always wanted to check out Twin Peaks, maybe I will. iZombie sounds intriguing too. Yeah, when I start watching Xena again, it'll mostly be season 1-4 and maybe a bit of 5 but then that's it. The rest was just ridiculous.

I'm glad 2017 is almost over too. Halleluia!!! Hopefully we'll be onward to better days with better times...at least better than this past year!

Hopefully it'll start out nice and last throughout. 2017 started out suckage except Johnny finalizing his divorce AND winning People's choice award. Aside from that, not many people I know or paid attention to had any better time than I did...until November of course.
2018 i'm sure I'll at least smile more but I hope the world can smile more too. Is it too idealistic to still hope for Trump's impeachment? Ehhh maybe. I hope there's no war tho. Oh well fark it, Happy New Year Everyone!!!!