...divorced from The Fuckwit. Now, I know what you're thinking...it's about damn time!!!

Yeah...I know..., but feel free to party hearty in my thread. I've got the virtual booze, the eggnog, the fried rice, and I even brought an awesome email joke to get this party started, so don that lampshade, park your morals at the door, and party yo ass off in my honor, okay?


FEMALE PRAYER
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.


Amen.


MALE PRAYER
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs
who owns a liquor store and a bass boat.
This doesn't rhyme with anything and I don't give a shit.


Amen.

Congratulations!


It's like losing 150 pounds, isn't it? But better.

it's been a long time since i've donned the lampshade...wish i could find the dang pic from Pasadena. i'd post it it honor of your unhitching!!

cheers

good on ya!

nice

i'm a picture hoarder

{{{{{Tiki}}}}}}

Party on girl! It's freedom time! Time to think of the possibilities, either bachlorett style or making room for a special person to enter the scene. But it's a good thing to get that final end and new start.

What should I bring? A little red wine or some vodka for my latest lemonade, cranberry, black cherry juice highball?

Nnora,
It's more like losing 180+ lbs. of ugly fat. Ugly, lying, conniving, self-serving, emotionally abusive fat, that is!

'zoom,
I'd love to see that! Wait, is that the pic Tam posted? *feeling stupid*

{{{{{{{{{{{{Nanzar}}}}}}}}}}}}

I'm ready for that special person. But I want to refine myself a bit first.

Wow, it all sounds good. I could go for a Screamin' Mai Tai, actually.

BTW, he has to go to court on contempt charges in a couple of weeks. He plays this game where he loses his job, doesn't tell Domestic Relations or anybody jack shit, collects unemployment, doesn't pay me, gets hauled into court, hands me some money(nothing compared to what he owes), gets a new job, pays for a little while, loses that job and then the whole damn cycle starts over again. This time, unless he has at least half of what he owes me, I will put his ass in jail. He has been playing me for a sucker too damn long. It's a shame, really. He has 2 really great, really sweet, really smart, remarkable, beautiful children and he doesn't want to support them. Hell, he hardly makes an effort to see them. He saw them once last year, and only because he was with his girlfriend, they were on their way back to Maryland after dropping her daughter off with her parents for the summer, and she was the one who noticed the Quakertown exit on the way and said something. Now that's just pathetic. She's a better "father" to those children than he is! LOL! And he saw them twice the year before that. He didn't even see them this year, and the year is almost over. The last time I saw him in court, he acted like he still wanted a relationship with them, but he makes no effort to act on it. They are better off without him. He really is a pathetic excuse for a father. My Dad has been wonderful as their male figure they can look up to, that dotes on them, etc., but I hope to meet that someone special who will eventually become their stepdad, that will treat them the way they were meant to be treated, with unconditional love, that will always be there for them. They deserve that, at least.

***The Judge***------> "HAUL HIS ASS OFF TO JAIL!!!"

***The Fuckwit***------>

***ME***------>

***Him***------>

***ME***------>


(***this message was brought to you by Smiley Face Theater***)

yup, that's me in the lampshade.

Good for you Tiki! To bad you couldn't send him to me. I could of sold him in my garage sell? I would of at least but a dime on him. Okay, a nickel. Hell, that is if anyone would of actually bought him. There's always putting him out on the curb and attaching a free sign to him. Well here's to you sweetie! May you grow and prosper and be glad that you threw the trash out!

Good for you. Enjoy yourself, will you? Here, have some whiskey! *hands over a bottle*

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{JEN}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

You go girl! And don't you worry, that special guy will come when ya least expect it.

Merlot anyone? I think I found a lampshade no one is using...and I for one can use a good party. WEEEE!

: hey Gabrielle WHAT the hell is that?
It's a fuckwit. A REAL fuckwit, worse than Caesar.
You're kidding, no one is worse than him...wait...uh, yup he's pretty bad. Think Tiki needs our help?
: Whaddya mean? She just divorced him, the judge is haulin his butt off to jail.
: No, you know what I mean...look at those kids, they're so...so...
Xena....
: Ok I admit it I miss early motherhood...doesn't help to go to sleep for 25 years and miss it all.
Xena...this is a party here, no room for depression, lover. And Eve didn't turn out that bad, did she? Hey, someone has Merlot, HEY!
(reflecting) I'd rather have jagermeister...WAIT, Gabrielle, I'm coming...

quote:

Originally posted by Sirius Black:
(reflecting) I'd rather have jagermeister...WAIT, Gabrielle, I'm coming...

that's my Xena...

<-------------(me, LMAO)

UPDATE-The idiot was a no show...there is now a bench warrant for his arrest.

Good fucking god, Jen, what's this guy, got a prison wish or something?

Jeez. Well, hey, free room and board...

lmao

Well, this is the latest info. (Yes, he does have a prison wish. I can't believe I married this fuck in the first place. )

I called Domestic Relations. Apparently, they think he is at another address, in another state. They have to confirm this, and he can only be arrested if he's in Bucks County. If I want the enforcement team to get on him, I have to fax something. Well, pardon me for screaming, but DOESN'T THAT FUCKING PUT ME AT GODDAMN(which is a word I only use when I am MEGA-PISSED, btw) SQUARE ONE ALL OVER AGAIN, MOTHERFUCKERS?!?!? (*takes a deep breath...considers going back to smoking again...*) I'll fax it, we'll have another contempt hearing, he won't show up again. I hate that motherfucking worthless piece of human excrement. He does not deserve to breathe the same air as the people who are actually functional to society do, let alone ever see the kids again. I can't believe they're his. They are soooo better off without him. They want to seek him after they turn 18, fine with me, but I'm sure he's going to have a hell of a time answering for himself.

Those kids are amazing. I consider myself lucky and blessed to have them. I can't understand how he can take the fact that they're his kids too, for granted. It's like he signed his own death warrant. It's like he doesn't even have a soul anymore. What the fuck?!? There was a time I considered this person my very best friend, but now, I have no idea who the hell he is and how I ever let him get close to me in the first place.

Anyhoo...if he got a new job, they can garnish his wages again. I hope that's the case. I need insurance and a car, so my kids and I can lead normal lives. Tece needs a decent birthday party, even if it's going to happen two months after her bday. Xmas is coming up. I so fucking hate that jackass.