Jessica's staring at me
It is getting freaky
I know that I'm cute
And I am hot, to boot
But tell her to stop, or I'll wee!

I know that she won't stop staring
So I will just stop my caring
I will talk to Ame
I won't play her game
She won't scare me - I have daring!

I am in limerick heaven
Now that we have made page eleven
An effort supreme
From the Clan McLim team
Now I might change my name to Kevin

Something that doesn't rhyme, has no rhythm, makes no sense and, above all, isn't FUNNY is NOT a "limerick".

Some attempts have been the limerick equivalent of writing:

cat
sat
black
back
mat

Let's strive to always do better than this, my fellow Clan members.

Limericks are cool to construct
Though some of my past ones have sucked
Sometimes I can't rhyme
It just takes too much time
So my poem, in the end, is just f***ed

my 3 year old nephew, of whom i think the world,
today uttered his first Gabbashing pearl
when he saw on my comp screen
the Warrior Princess & Amazon Queen
he said "there 's Xena. and that funny girl."

YAY, another Gabbasher to bring to the scene
To teah the joys of being nasty and mean
Though only to Gabrielle
Let's make her life hell
And teach the world that her face is obscene

The what if thread is on page 9
For them that is sublime
but for us it will fill with dread
We need to be the longest ever thread
Post more lims if you have the time

chat room talks make my little head dizzy
the conversations are always too busy
my contributions are few
just a snide line or two
then back to my drink while the tonic's still fizzy.

It brings tears of joy to my eye
When a new Gabasher drops by
To make us all laugh
Instead of just barf
When we see Gab on our screens and sigh

Well I came here for the first time
and noticed everthing must rhyme
because if I didn't I'd be in trouble
and if I did they'd all laugh over double
so now I'll have to commit this crime

Of rhyming all my words at once
while trying not to look like a dunce
and pick on Gabby
with a group named Scabby
as I consider this to be a bunce.

(yes bunce is a word-it means an unexpected piece of good fortune)

Gang up on Gab and pull her hair!
Knock her out,we don't care!
Beating her is fun,
but wait we aren't done!
Let's throw 'er over there and leave her bare!

Let's beat her down
yes,make her frown
throw her to the sky
punch her and make her cry
the we can dress her like a clown

Lalalalalalalalalala.....

i can never tell who's old & who's new,
but Xexy Warrior, this one's for you:
everyone here knows eyezoom frowns
on all limericks that mention clowns
(ventriloquists' dummies, harlequins & mimes, too!)

thanks eyezoom I'll remember that.

anyway,in the mean time;back to bashing Gabby!

If she starts acting happy
I'll giver 'er a little slappy
I hate her care
It's everwhere
And for having her,I'll kill her pappy!

LoL

BTW,I'm not new,just eversince that whole shut down thingy with Tom's page,I've just recently got my name back up on this thing.I also have another name on here.It's just Xexy.Because that's what I am-Xexy!

Oh happy happy happy day
Thats all I want to say
A bad rhyme I know
But it really does flow
And it honestly is a happy day

Ok so that WAS the worst limerick ever written
But I must tell you I'm feeling quite smitten
A new lease on life
I'm now out of strife
The thesis is finished and the rhyme bug has bitten

But where are all my AIM buddies to chat too
I'm scrolling away but here theres only a few
Ame promised me a party
One boisterous and hearty
C'mon chickydude this is your cue, where are you?

I'm so glad, Stace, you've done your thesis
Welcome Xexy, but don't go to pieces
There is more to a lim
Than just rhyming at whim
It takes rhythm as well, but NO faeces

call me a prude, or say that i'm haughty
or even a little bit snotty
we might be often obscene
but in one way we stay clean
we steer clear language quite potty

i admit, i was trying to be cute
that last Argy limerick was a beaut
i wanted to deem sublime
that clever feces rhyme
but it just wasn't a fitting tribute

I'd like to apologize for my intrusion,
although you could also call a protrusion,
in this little club,
cause I'm a sorry old bub
and I now have no conclusion!

though we've gotten a reputation exclusive
we're merely chasing clever rhymes elusive
so XW, to join in feel free
go on a limerick spree
and we'll try not to be too abusive

so Argy, have you received your package?
you should now be enjoying real Texas snackage
if it's not there soon
i'll hire a goon
on my post man to be doing some whackage

ouch...

Mmmmmppphhhh mebble mibblepom mmmmuuuuufffffff
I like to eat Texan stuff
But talking as well
Is just too much hell
My words are all muffled enough!

[thanks, zoomy ]

mmm speaking of food, its always this time of year
When I tend to eat so much without any fear
Rum balls and cake
Eggnog for eggnogs sake
But I'll regret it later when I bust out of my brassiere