Missing the 10:45 train

How did I lose your voice in the crowd
when it was my only salvation?
Tapping shoulders, bumping hips--"excuse me..."
Every head that turns isnt yours.
Follow me and stay close, you said.
So many people,
our hands lost touch,
and i was left following your drowning words.
Follow me and stay close, i should have said,
so at least i would know where we were going.
But now i'm lost
in this sea of bounding heads,
muttering voices and thundering subway noises,
straining my eyes and ears for the smallest bit of you.
Shoes shuffle hurridley across the worn cement floor.
A last warning buzz resounds,
and the doors squeal shut
before our train races off
leaving no one behind,
except for you.
Arms extended towards me,
you say with that intoxicating smile,
as i'm held in your warmth--
i told you to stay close and follow me,
and i laughed, thankful i didn't have to.

[ June 03, 2002, 10:29 AM: Message edited by: mons ]

Wow. Intense. I like it.

thanks cen. it's about realizing you can trust the one you love. they wont leave you behind... in any sense. Did that come through for you?

but, to the point. i'm not much for gabrielle, but i have to tell you....i simply LOVE you sig pic "the ring" with her in it. it is simply BEAUTIFUL. striking.... really love it. did you make that?

[ May 29, 2002, 12:10 AM: Message edited by: mons ]

monsie,

You're an amazing poet, that's all there is to it. I swear, the things you come up with is amazing -- the way you make stories out of ideas or a point you want to get across - you really do that very well, and I just wanted to say so.

I love these lines:

"Follow me and stay close, i should have said,
so at least i would know where we were going."

And I don't think I completely understood that point until I read your reply and how you said it's about trusting the one you love - that they won't leave you behind in any sense... then those lines really made sense. That's the way most people would like it to be, wouldn't they? Be able to lead so that they don't get left behind... but that moment when you're "lost" and not knowing where you're going, and you turn and they're waiting right there for you - they haven't left you behind... that is a wonderful feeling, of knowing you can trust that person.

To be honest, I think you taught me something tonight...without even meaning to. Thank you monsie.

~Keri

For me this poem really spoke to my faith in God.

I'm not saying it wouldn't be nice to trust another person to always be there, but I just don't think that's realistic.

"Follow me and stay close, i should have said,
so at least i would know where we were going.
But now i'm lost"

-This line tells me the way we are with God sometimes, wanting Him to follow us and watch out for us, but He has already said "Follow Me"

"A last warning buzz resounds,
and the doors squeal shut
before our train races off
leaving no one behind,
except for you.
Arms extended towards me,
you say with that intoxicating smile,
as i'm held in your arms--
i told you to stay close and follow me,
and i laugh, thankful i didn't have to."

- This part talks about how God is always there waiting to take us back, even when all else has abandoned us, even when we have not "Followed Him." When we look for Him, he is there.

It's a beautiful poem. I would like to put it into my church newsletter. If that's ok mons. Email me the poem and the name you want on it to nancyw@vrinter.net

It reminded me of love. It brings to mind maybe a child with a parent on a trip. Very caring sort of feel to this beautiful poem. You are very good.

As formy sig pics. Rellik is the one who made it. I agree, it's lovely. But then I adore both Rell and ROC.

GREAT! when I read the topic line I expected a poem-ranting about missing the train in the morning and being late.

...man,was I surprised when I found out it´s a poem about trust.

I love it.

I read this from a child's perspective, with the last lines giving the twist that s/he really wanted the freedom that s/he is now so afraid to experience alone.

Your work is speaking more and more to me. It feels fuller, like there is much lurking beneath the surface of your words, waiting to be explored.

Go monsie!

This poem rocked. I can't think of a particular word or phrase I liked better...it all just seemed to sink right into me.
I like the feeling of growing trust that comes from it, despite the fear...and in the end knowing you are looked out for and always were. It reminded me of the "Footprints" poem a bit...a man dreams of walking on the beach with the Lord, and then he turns around and sees there are some places that only one pair of footprints are visible...these places are the hardest times of his life. So he says to the Lord, "Why were you not with me during the hardest times of my life?" Then the Lord said, "No, my child, I never left, I was carrying you."

Anyway, your poem was awesome...thanks for sharing it with us!

Hi Fellow Ficters!

thanks for reading this. I'm really beside myself that you all liked it so much, and i accredit much of my growth to being able to share my stuff with other writers-namely YOU GUYS.

I'm freaked to see all the interpretations.... 3 really, but i didn't think, i just didn't think about it that way. Now that i have read what you all see it as, it seems plain as day.

I gave my poem to a friend of mine, and she said she thought it was about faith in God, and then i let my mom read it, and she thought it was about me being able to find her, my sister saw it as a relationship--and found such a relationship impossible to exist. This is awesome, i don't think i have ever been so happy about something i wrote--as far is meaning is concerened.

I'm speechless. thanks. i hope i can write more stuff like this, and better.

mons

p.s

Gabber no, i didn't know what i taught you that night. but i would sure like to know. you seem to be the soft hearted epitome of trust, i find it hard to believe i could show you something about it! ha ha you big mushball.

and TOTALLY on the follow me thing. it is so much harder to follow then lead. i guess it takes faith, trust, love, devotion, all sorts of things to follow anybody, to rely on them to lead you the right way. i guess this WAS sort of religious.

this poem felt like a picture of me, of how i think. i would like to find that special someone that i can feel this sort of trust towards. someone i can feel safe in following, and not always feeling like-if i don't keep up--he'll leave me in the dust and be like "i told you, why didn't you listen". he'll watch out for me instead, as much as i would watch out for him.

that's the thing about relationships, i want to give someone my all. but i don't want to be doing all of the giving, and then find out i was totally being used like a moron. the thought of losing my dignity like that frightens me, and i guess that is where the "child like" part comes in. cause i am kind of like a child when it comes to socializing. and i'm not emotionally mature enough to go head first into something and trust my grown up decisions. ha ha.... grown up. And also childish in the sense that i have a naive idealist look at love, that hopless romanticism we spoke about that other day.

okay, now i'm shutting up for sure. he he. geez.... i need a man.. maybe then you would get some "love" poetry. WOO-HOOOO hot and heavy stuff comin through!

mons

monsie,

Yep, you did teach me something that night, which to be honest, you do more of that than you know - not necessarily through poems, but just talking to me. lol, and yes I am a big mushball. You taught me...that it's okay to not know where I'm going, or where the other person is leading me. Right then, at the moment I read it, I was definitely beside myself that I was not "in the know" about where someone was leading me. But... you taught me that I needed to have some trust in the person leading. That they wouldn't "leave me behind, in any sense" -- when they were ready, they'd be waiting for me. *grins* To sum it all up, you taught me PATIENCE...to an impatient girl.

Exactly, those are all the things it takes to follow somebody...and well, no, it doesn't have to be religious - the follow me aspect. It can be, but it doesn't have to be. Following and leading takes place in many relationships.... some of them are bad because you're following someone who doesn't really care about you, or leading when you don't give a care for the other person. But some of them are good, because they DO care about you and what only the best for you. And that's the kinda following/leading you're talking about here in this poem. That's where the trust comes in, and everything else you mentioned. So no, it can be religious but it doesn't have to be...it speaks for many relationships, as you can see -- a parent/child relationship, a love relationship, a friendship, and a person's relationship with God. Maybe there's even more ways it could work. :-)

I understand what ya mean, monsie... ah yes, and it's especially good when you find someone who won't go "I told you so" in your face. lol, I'd be so pissed off if that happened. But believe me, there is someone out there for you who will be gentle and loving with you...someone you won't be afraid to follow when need be. And someone who won't be afraid to follow you when you lead. And hopefully, even moreso, someone who will want to walk side by side with you.

Hmm....well, you shouldn't be the one doing all the giving. There should be give and take in a relationship. If they don't give anything, you should demand some things, or you're hitting the road. Because you deserve to be given some of what you're giving to them. *nods* I hear you completely on the child-like way of socializing. I can be like that too. Most of the time, I'm SO not the one to initiate conversation or approach someone and go off, it just doesn't happen. I'm more reserved, I guess. But at the same time, I know how not to be in situations when I need to be, but still, the first way is more "my" way I guess...the shy way. But I'm comin' outta my shell, slowly but surely! *has to grin a bit* Who said being "childish" in the way of love is a bad thing? It's actually the best thing that could happen to you or to the one you love. To love like a child, there's nothing better... there's a purity, a hope, a faith, a devotion surpassing all others. You could only BE so lucky to be able to love like a child...and be loved in a "childish" way. Don't count it out too quickly, my friend, it's a very good thing to have.

*laughs* You don't call this "love" poetry? Hehe, you still get the love poetry comin' out, even when you don't have someone m'dear. LOL, although the hot and heavy stuff would be interesting, lol.

~Gabber