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Scroll Guardian


Picture of Free Madness
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Dear Nike,
Kill them all and take the dinars.Big Grin

AC

Dear Auntie Callisto,
Why won't Aphrodite see that we're MEANT to be together?

Delirious Draco


"Even when you're down and blue, just remember that someone out there loves you, even if you don't know it and even if you haven't yet met them. There's someone out there waiting for you, remember that and keep faith. You'll get there."
~~Johnny Depp.


 
Posts: 3539 | Location: Dreamland | Registered: 06 April 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Dear Draco,

Could be Aphrodite can't see at all because the clumsy oaf fell on her boobs and they poked her bloody eyes out.

Auntie Callisto



Dear Auntie Callisto


In my tribe, I'm labeled the kick ass trouble-maker. What would your label be if you were in my tribe?

Amarice
 
Posts: 11964 | Location: State of Insanity | Registered: 11 May 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Dear Amarice,

I would sooner eat your tribe than let them label me.Big Grin

Auntie Callisto

Dear Auntie Callisto,

I can't seem to get it right. I kill people, my daughter kills people and they keep coming back to life. What am I doing wrong? Confused

Dumbfounded Dahok


"Even when you're down and blue, just remember that someone out there loves you, even if you don't know it and even if you haven't yet met them. There's someone out there waiting for you, remember that and keep faith. You'll get there."
~~Johnny Depp.


 
Posts: 3539 | Location: Dreamland | Registered: 06 April 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Dear Dahok,

In this universe the good die young...and often. Come to think of it so do the bad.

Auntie Cal

Dear Auntie Callisto,

So I stole this religious artifact from a secret cult of crazy assassins. I think there's like 88 of 'em. Anyway, I don't plan on letting them kill me, so how do I take care of this little problem?

Autolycus-The King of Thieves (in exile)





 
Posts: 2306 | Location: DFW | Registered: 24 June 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Scroll Guardian


SCROLLER AND
INSTIGATOR OF
THE MONTH

Scroller and Instigator


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Dear Auto.

Since 88 is just two fat ladies... just buy em a lemon meringue pie each and they'll eat it and forget about you

Aunty C.

Dear Aunty C

My hair won't do a thing, no matter what i do, it is dull and lifeless. Any helpful hints??

Young Hope


*********************************
 
Posts: 4829 | Location: Michelle @ work | Registered: 22 June 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Scroll Desperado
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dear Hope:

dull, lifeless hair could be a symptom of a more serious, systemic problem. i wouldn't change a thing...

A.C.

dear Auntie Callisto:

all the kids in the village make fun of me...they say a have two mommies and a daddy that's a horse! how do i fit in?

sad Solan


WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

sometimes, you just have to say 'what the f...'

 
Posts: 5103 | Location: Austin Texas, baby | Registered: 22 June 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Dear saddy pants

I'd play to your strengths, kid.

Remind the other children what sizable ... attributes a horsie has (not to mention your mommies) and wait for puberty.

You'll be a hit.

Auntie Callisto

Dear Auntie Callisto

Why don't you crawl back into your cave and wait for high tide?

Iolaus


~~~~~~~~~~

 
Posts: 5432 | Location: Oz | Registered: 22 June 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Dear Little Short Man,

Been there. Done that. Unfortunatly falling rocks give me a headache. I could find a nice cave for you though if you're interested.

A.C.

Dear Auntie Callisto,
Every time I go to the mirror I can't stand to look at myself. The pain is unbearable. Do you have any suggestions?

Lonely Lucifer


-----------------------------
My Space

 
Posts: 1644 | Location: Blue skies....Michigan | Registered: 24 March 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Dear Lucifer,

Don't look in mirrors.

Auntie Cal

Dear Auntie Callisto,

Can I wear white with these boots before Memorial Day?

Gabby





 
Posts: 2306 | Location: DFW | Registered: 24 June 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Dear Gabby

Wear nothing. That was memorable last time, well there were three of you then but...you get the idea.

And watch out for those holes.

Auntie Cal.

Dear Auntie Callisto

She drives me crazy...I can't get her out of my mind...I love her! Should I stop being the God of War and switch with Dite? Everytime I see her I go all jelly legs!(don't tell anybody!)

Amorous Ares


"Even when you're down and blue, just remember that someone out there loves you, even if you don't know it and even if you haven't yet met them. There's someone out there waiting for you, remember that and keep faith. You'll get there."
~~Johnny Depp.


 
Posts: 3539 | Location: Dreamland | Registered: 06 April 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Dear Ares,

Jelly legs? Goes with peanut butt(er). Do you like cheese i like cheese!

Auntie Cal.
________________________________

Dear Auntie Callisto,

i was gonna help Xena become destroyer of nations til i met someone more evil. It's name is xc. i helped xc escape the xenaverse to the scrolls. Can we destroy an xc?

almighty Alti
 
Posts: 11964 | Location: State of Insanity | Registered: 11 May 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chief Chesty Forlock
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Dear Alti

Sorry it took so long for me to reply.

I hope you now realise that releasing xenacrazed needs to be handled with caution.

It's usually best to keep him locked in his cage.

Oh well. We all need to be a little crazy every now and then.

Auntie Callisto

---

Dear Auntie Callisto

I cannot keep track of all the Marvel movies.

Exactly how many movies does one franchise need?

I would have thought that eleven was the right number.

Do you have any suggestions for me?

Love from George Lucas


~~~~~~~~~~

 
Posts: 5432 | Location: Oz | Registered: 22 June 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Dear George,

i am your mother, Lucas!

Call me Darth Callisto!

You made bunches of movies, TV shows, cartoons and not one has featured ME!

Sooooo... i want you to begin filming a series about me.

Then we'll talk Marvel.

Auntie Callisto

...

Dear Auntie Callisto,

i want Amphipolis. i want Poteidaia.

i want all Greece.

i make Caesar and Ares look like babies, ya.

You no can stop me, nyet.

i nuke you. What you do to stop me?

Vladimir Putin

...
 
Posts: 11964 | Location: State of Insanity | Registered: 11 May 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chief Chesty Forlock
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Dear Vlad

I am going to sign you up for the Masked Singer.

It kept Giuliani busy for a while.

I don't even know if you can sing.

I guess we will find out!

My request would be for you to sing, "Stop! In the name of love." and then a version of, "Hey Jude," that goes on for weeks. In other words, the regular version.

Everybody now, "La La La lalalalaaa lalalalaaa he-ey Juuude."

Auntie Callisto

---

Dear Aunite Callisto

I am bored.

There is only so much you can do in hell.

Once you've convinced Vlad to invade Ukraine, urged people to riot on the US capital, and set Covid-19 on the world, there's nothing much interesting left to do.

Got any ideas for me?

Fed up Ares


~~~~~~~~~~

 
Posts: 5432 | Location: Oz | Registered: 22 June 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Dear Ares,

Take down their internet, their cell phone towers and their 24 hour news broadcasts.

Instant worldwide nervous breakdowns!

Auntie Callisto

---

Dear Auntie Callisto,

i have $44 billion to throw away.

i'm thinking to buy Twitter.

Maybe send another rocket up in space and have people pay $1 million per seat.

What would you do with $44 billion?

Elon Musk

---
 
Posts: 11964 | Location: State of Insanity | Registered: 11 May 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chief Chesty Forlock
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Dear Elon

I think you're looking at this the wrong way.

There's no need to actually SPEND the $44 billion.

Say you're going to buy Twitter. Then say you're NOT going to buy Twitter.

Keep them guessing.

This is a much cheaper way to annoy everyone.

Auntie Callisto

---

Dear Auntie Callisto

I don't feel there are enough movies, and TV shows, being made about zombies.

Could you please suggest some more, original plots?

George Romero


~~~~~~~~~~

 
Posts: 5432 | Location: Oz | Registered: 22 June 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Dear George,

i happen to know you died in 2017.

That makes YOU a zombie! *shrieks!*

You probably have seen the TV show, iZombie.

Do what Liv Moore does on the show. Eat brains- in your case, the brains of other directors & screenwriters -and by assuming their personalities, you'll come up with new ideas for movies.

Nothing derivative, like Xena: Warrior Zombie.

Auntie Callisto

...

Dear Auntie Callisto,

i am running again for President of the USA.

i want to Make America Great Again.

My new ideas include concentrate camps for liberals, free guns & ammo for anyone age 5 and over, and a Constitutional amendment making the US a monarchy with me as the first King.

Can i count on your support?

Donnie Trump

...
 
Posts: 11964 | Location: State of Insanity | Registered: 11 May 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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