I remember a discussion about poetry by a distinguished poet. He said a poem can be about almost anything; however the subjects of poems are usually not rude bodily functions. Then he remembered a poem he once wrote about an embarrassing moment with a bugger he had just picked while on an elevator. He also quoted a beautiful Haiku about peeing in the snow by a famous poet. So he revised his statement saying that a poem can be about such things as long as it is done with class.

Since that day I’ve wanted to explore the subject. Here is the challenge: write about anything that would be considered rude and crude, without grossing us out! (I thought we should stick to the Haiku format since it already has so much class.)

Here are some of my own examples:

Seeing I was left alone
I allowed myself
An extravagant nose pick

I tried not to make a sound
In the quiet room
Beyond my steady tinkling.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Argeaux,

a soft wind breaks the stillness
a foul cloud blossoms
oops i did it again

i greet the new day gladly
with one exception
hello morning breath

it crackles under my foot
girlie screamings cease
rest in peace, Mr. Cockroach

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Eddie Haskell,

your winged exit
technicolor destiny
bug on a windshield

come on y'all--it's fun!! where's Sara--she'll get crude wioth me!!

a sneeze escapes me
it sprays my computer screen
spots dance then slide down

A downward spiral,
excrement smears both his legs
near the locked latrine

eeewwwww


ahem

stained, smeared, bloody clothes
Expensive panties ruined
Where's a pad when you need one?


thank you and good night

big eyes golden fur
white feet scurrying but then
the cat's jaws break bone

the porcelain altar calls
five beers and three Jagers flee
my stomach and mouth and splash

short breaths sweat groaning
joined together breaking
Article XXIX

--

Archangel Michael
trampling chained blackened balrog
how come you have breasts?

who do you talk to
as yellow stream runs down aisle
schizophrenic bus rider

(unfortunately true story...)

Probing inner ear
Mining the creamy ear wax
Spread gentle on toast.

tiny bug invades
thunderstorm brews in my gut
projectile vomit

early morning bath
Mental fog a razor slips
Bloody nicks hurt me so

Crisp Arkansas morn
sweet the smell of ma's breakfast:
barbequed tourists

dappled fur abounds
surface lacks white enamel
must clean teeth shortly

On key with his high C
The pompous tenor breaks wind
Excellent Harmony

drank some red last night
glass after glass of shiraz
woke up in vomit

baby smiles and laughs
wipes my face with tiny hand
covered in her poo

Again I take it out
I will no go blind ever
Seven times a day

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Monkeydog Jones,

glistening and wet
sparkling sometimes reflecting
white urinal cake

Red badge of courage
Flat and warm, larger in death
Sleep well my squirrel friend

Warm Arkansas night
'Neath the pines we kiss, explore
My sister my love

Hear the children laugh
in blissful glee they pursue
a pup to torture

I have yet to figure out who is the most twisted haiku'ing fool in this thread!~