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I’ve under slept

Soft electric green patters through stubborn eyelids
It’s too early to be awake, too late to think of yesterday
Just enough time to spend wondering,
If I should stay up or wake up—
wait up
For the rest of the world,
Or struggle to join them in their predawn slumber.
So comfortable they seem,
In this humming silence.
So wonderful it must be
To sleep through this 4 a.m. madness.
And I’m wondering
If I should wrap myself up in my comforter,
And let it do the job it claims it can do.
And I’m wondering
If I should turn on the TV,
And let it take me somewhere away from thoughts of you,
Anywhere new to travel through
Where i can sing these melancholy
4 a.m...4 o'one a.m. blues

"I never understood the whole 'no cruel and unusual' punishment thing. If it's not cruel and unusual, it' not punishment." - PFJ
 
Posts: 261 | Registered: 18 July 2003Report This Post
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Mons!
It's good to read something from you. It has been a while.

I love this title. You usually don't have one for your work, so this is really special.

I did this recently too. That's where the poem about the flowers came from. I wrote it under a tiny flashlight so I wouldn't wake hubby.

You really capture the feeling. The ending is great. It slows you down, puts you in the moment.
 
Posts: 411 | Registered: 23 June 2003Report This Post
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yes, it has been a while! i've had nothing to write about. And like i was telling gabber.... you and nanzar are all over the place!! i must support them! Post! darn you post! of course... all this took place in my head. Smile So, fighting to write something... ANYTHING... you have the posts you see here cause i didn't want the two of you doing ALL the writing. Wink

I loved this title too because it was simple and "there" and to me, sounded unnatural like everytime i said it my head wanted to correct me and say "overslept... you mean overslept". so anyway... i did write this in the middle of the night, i couldn't sleep and it was 4 a.m... i'm glad i captured that early morning "what the hell should i do now" feeling. in an unslept minute!

thanks for reading nanzar!

mons

"I never understood the whole 'no cruel and unusual' punishment thing. If it's not cruel and unusual, it' not punishment." - PFJ
 
Posts: 261 | Registered: 18 July 2003Report This Post
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mons,

This is my favorite out of the three you put up. It is really a solid piece of writing. Smile

Some of my favorite lines were:

"It’s too early to be awake, too late to think of yesterday"
(love the TRUTH in that!)

"And I’m wondering
If I should wrap myself up in my comforter,
And let it do the job it claims it can do."

(amen-- if only it would really do the job, because sometimes it just doesn't...and all you want to do is just fall asleep already)

The best part about this poem is that I think it is so relatable to well, EVERYONE. Everyone has experienced those early morning/late night blues. Some more than others. It's always one of those times where you're like, "STOP THINKING" to your brain and you just wanna shut it off so you can sleep, but it won't let you. I have to like literally concentrate on clearing my head of anything in order to be able to get sleepy enough so that I actually nod off, but it's usually not until after I have been laying there for a good hour and a half, tossing and turning. Razz

There's something about the night...the early morning...where...everything you've been hiding from during the day with busy-ness and whatnot comes out and dances in your mind. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's because it's the first time you actually allow yourself time to just be with yourself and nothing else. All you have left to face is..well, you.

*laughs* Basically when things are good, I love going to sleep. When things are bad, I avoid going to sleep at all costs. Razz Actually no, I go to bed, but it always ends up taking me awhile.

See, relatable...you got me to babble even when I'm tired. Wink Actually, I think I'll go to bed and hit all the other FF&P poems/replies tomorrow. So anyone else who happens to read this, I'll get to you, I promise. Smile

~Gabber



"Deliver me, out of my sadness
Deliver me, from all of the madness
Deliver me, courage to guide me
Deliver me, strength from inside me

All of my life, I've been in hiding
Wishing there was someone just like you
Now that you're here, now that I've found you
I know that you're the one to pull me through..."
 
Posts: 893 | Location: Lexington, KY | Registered: 25 June 2003Report This Post
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GABBER!

I love that line too for it's straitforward simplicity. I love it in other people's writing, it's nice to stumble upon it in my own! and that's my favorite "witty" line.. about the comforter.

yes, absolutely relateable. this was my favorite one of the three as well! i don't even feel like i have to explain it. it's all there plain as night... or day. he he

YEAAAH! YOUR BABBLING. Wink Cool. thanks for reading this one. I want to hug it. I'm proud of it. that's nice to say. Smile I rock. he he he

mons

"I never understood the whole 'no cruel and unusual' punishment thing. If it's not cruel and unusual, it' not punishment." - PFJ
 
Posts: 261 | Registered: 18 July 2003Report This Post
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mons,

That really is a great line. Reminds me too much of me and what I think when I can't get to sleep and it's like 2:30 am. Razz I'm really going to have to change that soon though since I'll be waking up at 5:00 am on most days out of the week. Le sigh. Have I ever mentioned I don't do well with change? lol

And yes, the comforter line is a "witty" one, I dig it. Smile

You don't have to explain it one bit. It really is just there and relatable and I get it, and I'm sure everyone else gets it too.

*laughs* Yes, I did babble, what do you know. More like amazing that I babbled when I was butt-tired. Razz Otherwise babbling is normal for me. Like now. Heh. *laughs* Hug it, go right on ahead, it really was a good one, you should be proud of it. Smile

~Gabber



"I'm shedding...shedding every color
Trying to find a pigment of truth
Beneath my skin
'Cause different... doesn't feel so different
And going out is better than always staying in
Feel the wind

Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away my sanity
'Cause I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean..."
 
Posts: 893 | Location: Lexington, KY | Registered: 25 June 2003Report This Post
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