I've always thought that I sould not be allowed to critique others unless I give up some of my own work. So here it is for your viewing pleasure (or pain).


do not stir
do not wake
there's sleep to catch
and dreams to take

with every flutter of the eye
beyond this realm
we are sure to fly

to soar above the wild flowers
to dance with fairies
spinning for hours

Join me in this magic place
where dragons fly
and mermaids race

Beyond this world of pain and harm
While I'm asleep
wrapped in your arms.

*terahc*

Granted this is not one of my most in depth pieces but I did write it in like 15min at like 2:30 in the morning....hope you guys like it.

Wow if I knew all I was going to hear was the sound of crickets I would have put it straight into the bad poetry thread...lolol

There's a lot of "listeing to crickets" in the writing and posting world XF3! If you can't take the silence get out of the kitchen!

No really, people here are mostly good about responding. I don't think this piece is BPT worthy.

I like this part:

"Join me in this magic place
where dragons fly
and mermaids race"

It's a nice twist. I could see the dragon's flying, really

Please continue to post and to reply to others. As you can see it is a lift to get as least one person to make a noise when you've take the trouble to put something out there.

e-ek e-ek e-ek

It's lovely writing, Xenafairy. I like the simplicity of the language. It's sweet, I actually hear a song written that Loreena Mckennit would sing perhaps. Do you listen to her? I like this the best I think:

do not stir
do not wake
there's sleep to catch
and dreams to take

and the last stanza:

Beyond this world of pain and harm
While I'm asleep
wrapped in your arms.

I miss my Mystic Dreams tape. A friend lent it to me and I never got it back...

Anyway do keep writing. I've found the more I stick to it the better I feel about what I do whether people reply or not. I've noticed a lot of silent appreciaters lurk here as well as verbal ones.

Thanks for the words of encouragement you two....I appreciate it and will take it to heart...and yes I loooovvvee Loreena McKennit....she's amazing. When I was living with my dad and stepmom...she had the CD Book of Shadows and I miss it so much that I've been looking for it everywhere....next stop is on- line.