Hidden beneath diaphanous layers
Exposed easily in this utter drunkenes
I'm pandering to my will again
As I watch you sleep
And caress your planed features
With an unfettered gaze
I haven't the courage
To let my fingers touch
What i can hardly believe
My head wil be swimming another day
In the memories of these lost hours
Found stashed away
In a ribbon of indulgence
Marked simply as "Beauty"
And like a gift
I'll unwrap you in those dark times
Content in my insomnia
With quiet and stillness projecting sight
Of an intoxicating recreation
Of a wondrous and sleepless night.

[This message was edited by mons on 28 September 2003 at 12:28 PM.]

holy shit, mons--that's cool!

I'm pandering to my will again...

sweet sweet sweet--i wish i'd written that.

...the memories of these lost hours
Found stashed away
In a ribbon of indulgence
Marked simply as "Beauty"


another really nice bit.

i dig your images and the words you choose to create them.

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

mons,

Once again, sorry for not being talkative, but I wanted to point out some lines that were my favorites from your poem.

"I haven't the courage
To let my fingers touch"

I really like those two lines for the utter truth in them. Sometimes, especially earlier on in a relationship, you're scared to reach out and touch the other person...in case they wake up and look at you weird or not like it. Could apply for when you're both awake even. I used to feel that way, I remember.

"And like a gift
I'll unwrap you in those dark times"

Interesting lines and image.

"Of an intoxicating recreation"

That in and of itself is a wonderful phrase...nice addition to the ending, I think. And I do really like the title too. Good job, mons.

~Gabber



"Don't think I can't feel that there's something wrong
You've been the sweetest part of my life for so long
I look in your eyes – there's a distant light
And you and I know there'll be a storm tonight

But baby, this is serious
Are you thinkin' 'bout you or us?

Don't say what you're about to say
Look back before you leave my life
Be sure before you close that door
Before you roll those dies
Baby, think twice..."

Ladies!

Thank you for reading this one. I have to say, i love this one too. I don't really want to change anything about it, i'm not beating myself up about anything in it-- and that in itself is a wonderful feeling. Not only that, i think i can read this one like a reader and not the writer. So i've indulged in that moment over and over again in every reading. That moment is frozen for me and i love it.

Zoom,

man, that is a compliment in the highest, you saying you wish you'd written that line!! know that i got all sorts of warm fuzzies! for real. thanks so much, for the read and your time in responding!! :P means a lot if you couldn't tell that already! ha.

Gabber,

it's funny how people will stress for you to be yourself in a relationship, say what is true. And we try, don't we? But no matter how much truth we give, there is always that bit we hold back just in case they "can't handle the truth!!" as Nicholsan would say. i wish the world could handle all the truths we keep bottled up. till then, i guess i'll keep the best of me bottled up! ha. what conceit. oh, and i loved the "unwrap" part. it was interesting. thanks for the kudos chick-a-dee! and your time.

mons

That was really nice mons

It all fits together really well