SOUL OCCUPANCY

The night was sultry. Xena awoke with a jerk. She reached for her chakram, but it wasn't by her side. Through the darkness she could make out Gabrielle's sleeping form. Gabrielle's breath made her chest rise and fall softly. No, there was no time for that. Xena carefully crept out of her sleeping roll and headed into the surrounding scrub.

She could sense danger. Somewhere to the left. Or was it the right? Actually, it felt like it was all around her. Xena paused and listened. A twig snapped behind her. She whirled around to face ... Alti.

Alti grabbed her neck before she could steady herself, and lifted her off the ground. 'So nice to see you again, Xxxxxena.' Alti's eyes were steely. 'Thought you'd killed me off, didn't you? Well, as you can see, you were wrong.' She threw Xena to the ground.

Xena rubbed her throat. 'What do you want you old bag of bones?'

'What I want, Xena, is what I've always wanted.' Alti leaned down so that her face was in front of Xena's. 'I want your soul.'

'You can't have it. I've lent it to Ares, to do his, how did he put it ... bidding.'

'Very funny, my dear. We'll see who has the last laugh.' Alti cackled and disappeared.

Although Alti was gone, Xena could still sense a presence close by. She lept to her feet.

.... and see a very sleeping Joxer in his undies mumbling in his sleep...

"No! Not the handcuffs..."

Joxer was dreaming about Minya, who was smiling in that oh so inviting yet intimidating way--holding out the handcuffs and winking at him.
"Come on, big boy," she growled. "you know you always wanted a REAL woman, not that silly pissant, Gabrielle!"
"Ummm--Minya," Joxer said in his gawky yet gentlemanly fashion, "not that you aren't an incredibly--attractive, strangely sultry--ummm, female--" Minya glowed under his compliments, "But--but--between you and me--uhhhhh--I've never used handcuffs before."
"NEVER USED HANDCUFFS BEFORE!" Minya guffawed. "BY THE GODS, YOU'VE NEVER USED HANDCUFFS BEFORE!"
Mortified, Joxer turned to see Ares, smirking at him. He turned to Minya, who had slipped away, guffawing heavily with her friend Polina from the theatre.

Livia sat in the trees overhead, watching with barely concealed boredom. Gods, Xena traveled with complete morons. If it were up to her, she'd have run them all through ages ago.

She smirked, soon enough it would be up to her. There was only one thing she desired and that was Rome. Nothing and no one was going to stop her from achieving her goal.

Livia silently jumped down from the tree she'd been hiding in and quickly walked away from the camp. Her day was coming. Gods help anyone in her path then.

In a flash of fire Callisto suddenly materialized. Her head cocked slightly, she gazed at the retreating form of Livia and grinned. Someone else was peeping. In her hand she held the Chronos Stone. She and Alcmene had a date, but, she reflected, there was no reason why she couldn't see what the future would bring before went and altered the past. She knew two important things already: 1) Xena was still traveling with that irritating blonde and that bumbling hanger-on and 2) There were at least two people who were trying to make trouble for the Warrior Princess.

"I get her first and last, but you can play with her until you bore me."

Meanwhile in a nearby town, Autolycus, the King of Thieves was examining his latest prize. He had just pulled off a rather spectacular jewel heist snatching the gem from right under the kings nose, literally, whilst taking out a number of guards and executing all manner of fancy footwork and flips. He felt he had earnt his reward. The moonlight bounced off of the sapphire encrusted nose ring as he held it up to the night sky, smiling. Another day, another kings reputation in tatters he mused to himself. He kept to the shadows as he headed towards the forest in search of a secure place to rest.

alti returned to the land of the dead. that's where i saw her. she was tired, transporting will do that to a girl. i could usually care less what she's doing. she's insane anyway, more than the rest of us. there was just something about her that intrigued me as to what she was up to this time. i approached, cautiously of course.

"Alti, what are you up to now. Who's grave have you run off to desecrate this time?"

"Epphiny, why don't you run along. Stay out of the affairs of grownups."

and then i saw it. she had xena's chakram. there it was glinting in all it's glory at her side. fear hit me hard. was xena still alive? gabrielle? well, if gabrielle had been killed i'd have seen her here already, so that helped settle me some. but what of xena?

"Alti! What of Xena? If you harmed her..."

"Then what? What are you going to do?"

she bore down on me with those insane eyes. i didn't know what to say, i didn't quite know what she was capable of in this realm. i didn't have to reply, she answered my question for me.

"Trust me, she's still alive. For now."

After dusting herself off and recovering from seeing Joxer's shorts, Xena patrolled the little camp's perimeter. She needed to stay close to Gabrielle and the helpless Joxer, but something was out there. Something more than Alti, and familiar.

Once the presence was gone, at least so it seemed, Xena began packing up camp. There was a village less than half a day's walk to the south. She still hadn't recovered her chakram, and if by chance Alti didn't still have it it might be waiting under a thief's cloak. Anyway, Alti's threat had made her steps urgent. They'd need supplies.

Caesar watched from a distance, amused by the antics of Alti and Ephiny. Entertainment like this so rarely foud its way into the underworld, "I should drop in on these Amazon chicks more often," he snickered to himself.

"Caesar!" exclaimed Ephiny, seeing him over Alti's shoulder. "What are you doing here?"

"And what are you smiling at?" growled Alti, as she turned to face him.

"You two girls never change, do you?" he smirked. "Xena and Gabrielle - that's all you can think about."

"That's rich, coming from you," said Alti, drumming her fingers dangerously across Xena's chakram. "Weren't you the one who rewrote history to have Xena as your queen?"

"Emperess," he corrected, "And that was just a happy side-effect of world-domination. That is until you killed me." Alti grinned at him. "But lets not dwell. There's more important things going on right now."

"you know, Alti...that Callisto bitch might make a good ally. if she of course she weren't insanse."

"really Caesar. isn't your game dividing forces rather than uniting them?" Alti's gravelly purr was like the gears of a rusty chain saw grinding oillessly to ultimate engine seizure. "besides. i've never needed anyone's help at this..."

"yes. and we all know your success rate against Xena. been blown to bits lately...?"

"oh my little emperor, you have no idea what i have planned for Xena and her friends this time. it's bigger than all of us really. and this..." and she gave the chakram a quick spin on one finger and then snatched it out of the air and held it inches from Caesar's nose, "..this is the key to it all."

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Sleep was deep for Gabrielle,tossing and turning.She could have sworn she heard Alti's voice in her dreams....It was distant and eerie like a howling wind.Her vivid imagination churned the pictures in her head.She pulled the dew-covered blanket over her shoulders, hoping to find some warmth in them.

Xena shook Gabrielle gently but firmly.
"Wake up," she said. "There's somebody out there."
Gabrielle moaned and sat up. "Alti?"
Xena froze.
"I heard her," Gabrielle said. "I heard her last night."
Xena sighed, a sad look on her face.
"Xena," Gabrielle said firmly, "Stop trying to protect me."
Just then, Xena jumped to her feet, Gabrielle doing the same. Joxer sat up, rubbing his eyes, mumbling something about handcuffs and Ares. Xena ran to him and hoisted him to his feet.
"Get it together, you bumbling fool! There's someone--OUT th--"
Minya, grinning broadly, armed with a sword and a dagger and wearing a strange crystal pendant, stepped out of the bushes.
"Your faithful comrade has arrived!" Minya said proudly. "Xena--Gabrielle--I have come to fight by your side!"
"Uhhhh--Minya--no offense," Gabrielle said sweetly, "But--uhhh--we can handle this."
"Oh?" Minya's eyes blazed in anger. "Again you're trying to turn me away? Still don't trust me eh? Well this time--you have no choice." She grinned broadly. "I have information."
Suddenly Gabrielle screamed. "WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?"
Minya frowned. "Pipe down, Bard lady. What are you hollaring about?"
Gabrielle was shaking. Seeing this, Xena and Joxer moved closer to her and glared at Minya.
"That--pendant," Gabrielle said, pointing to Minya. "Where--where did you get it?" Tears now stood in her eyes. Xena saw the pendant and became furious.
"It was Ephiny's," she growled at Minya. "Gabrielle GAVE it to her. WHere did you GET it?"
Minya shifted uncomfortably. She'd found the pendant laying on the ground somewhere in her travels. SHe'd put it on, liking the way it looked with her outfit, and ever since then--the dreams had taken place. THe dreams she'd been having about Ephiny--and Alti and the land of the dead.
"Well," she said uncertainly, now knowing she would have to tell them everything, "I found it. And--ever since then i've been having dreams. I mean--Ephiny has been coming into my dreams, telling me things. About Alti. About Callisto. And--and your daughter, Xena." Minya held Xena's gaze, as Xena flinched in pain. "Livia."
"You mean Eve," Xena said, her voice full of such anguish that even Minya swallowed hard on a lump in her throat.
"Well anyway," Minya went on, "I know what Alti is up to. She wants to steal your soul. And Livia just wants to kill you and everything that breathes. As for Callisto--well she wants to be the one to take you down herself, in her way--although she'll watch everyone else play around with you first." Minya drew herself up. "Alti went into the land of the dead and spoke to Ephiny about this. And--guess who ELSE wants to be involved?"
"Minya, please! My head is spinning here!" Xena snapped. "Callisto? By the Gods! What next? CAESAR?"
Minya grinned, and drew her sword. It was rather old and beat up, but she was obviosuly proud of it.
"Yep," she said. "Even dead--he still wants you, Xena. But," she said importantly, "with me along? You'll surely work this thing out ONCE and for all!"
Xena cursed and kicked a rock. Joxer just stared at Minya, taking it all in. Minya gave him a knowing look, and Joxer flinched.
"I don't know, Xena," Gabrielle said. "I mean every time Minya gets involved--she tries to steal all the glory and you and i end up working twice as hard to undo the mistakes she made!"
"Listen, Bard," Minya said darkly, "that may have been, but I think i've come a good long way from that. Besides," she grinned, "you really don't have any choice but to trust me, do you?"
"Minya, cut the crap," Xena growled. "You just want our protection! Knowing all this stuff--surely you must have guessed that Alti would come down on YOU!"
Minya drew herself up. "I can handle Alti."
Xena guffawed. "Sure you can!"
"Give me a chance, Xena," Minya iplored. "I swear i won't let ya down! Honest i won't!"
"And if i say no?" Xena growled.
Minya looked at Joxer, an evil grin spreading over her face.
"I have something that belongs to you, my bumbling friend," she said. "Here." She pulled out a sheef of papers and thrust it at Joxer.
"AAAAA! My DIARY!" Joxer yelped, snatching the papers away as best they could--they scattered all over the place and he panicked, trying to assemble them all togetther.
Xena watched him in bored annoyance, while Gabrielle suppressed a giggle at his antics. Finally Xena looked at Minya.
"Ah, what the hell," she snarled. "Come on."
Minya crowed with delight. "You won't regret this, Xena!" she said. "I promise you won't!"
She tripped then and fell on top of the papers, and she and Joxer scrambled around, trying to get them all together.
Xena moaned. "I already do."

yadda yadda yadda

Dite pops in, doesn't understand what the fark is going on. Mortals, sheesh.

Dite is pissed. The mortals aren't doing the love stuff. The mortals are still doing the warrior stuff. What kinda fun is that? Why aren't they farking one another? They're arguing fussin' n fightin'. Boring!

*pouts* here i gets to do the love thing for 'em and do they appreciate it- hades no! Why is Joxer sniffing up Gabby's skirt when i fixed him & Meg up? Is he really as dumb as he looks- i mean, dude, Meg's a babe. And what's Minya doing here- i brought her a biker dude from the 20th century and she ignores him. Not to mention Alti, who i tried the love poo on with that Yale grad, Biff. And what does she do-she bbq's & eats him, groady! It takes a lotta potions to bring back ppl from the future- duh!


So fark 'em all! I'm quittin the love shtick & am going to ask daddy Zeus for some new career change. Then i'll come back here & kick butt big time. They'll be lickin dite's afro & lovin it!

*pops out, but not before exchanging the rabbit stew over the campfire with Joxer's radish stew, hee hee hah hee*

the cave's interior is dark. above a stone slab table hangs a large, clear orb that glows faintly with a pale green light. on the table lies an odd collection of icons from many belief systems of many times. a Hebrew prayer shawl and yarmulke are folded neatly and resting on the red and black swastika of a Nazi flag...icons of Catholic matyrs suffer various positions of torture...a voodoo idol made from a real shrunken human head...a Cheyenne ceremonial battle axe buried in a large leather-bound Book of Mormon...a fringe of the severed pigtails of 26 Buddhist monks rings the table. and in the center, directly below the orb, a small wooden stand meant to hold some artifact yet to be added to the bizarre display...

This message has been edited. Last edited by: zoom,

Gabrielle looks away from Joxer's display of idiocy, almost mistaking it for the mating dance of one of the local forest beasts.She then turned around to speak to Xena.

"Well look at it this way Xena, now Minya can distract Joxer from me AND he'll have someone to sing his ridiculous song to....who WON'T crack him on the head with her sais if she hears one more stinkin' time!"

She shot a look at the fool who was still mumbling about handcuffs and disassembled diaries.

"So, is there a plan?" Gabrielle asked sweetly,batting her gorgeous green eyes.

(a raucous laughter rings out loudly) ... Oh just you wait, you mortal fools.

Back in her private chambers in the palace:

Livia pondered the newest information gathered by her spies. Her lips curled into a cruel smile. You can't be a ex-warlord and expect people not to notice when you mobilize.

She paused a moment to roll her eyes at the company Xena seemed to be keeping these days. You'd think the former Destroyer of Nations would be a tad more discriminating in the allies she chose. Livia shrugged, all the easier to destroy her should she decide to interfere in the Champion of Rome's plans.

With a final smirk and a flick of her wrist, she sent the parchment into the flames of a nearby torch. Soon, the world would burn with the fires of her rage.

Eli closed the large hand-written book and walked across the floor of Calib’s study. “So there is a door,” he said to himself, “and a door you can lock if you just have the keys.”

The signs Calib had discovered pointed to one place on earth. Guarded by Amazons for centuries, it had been kept safe. But a new threat was on the horizon and Eli knew he had to intervene.

He stepped out onto the balcony and looked for an opening in the rocks beneath. His spirit whirled and dove down the small crack and into a gray place of neither light nor dark. The horizon of sameness went on for miles. In the distance the woman he was looking for sat silent listening and looking past him. Eli approached her but she did not acknowledge his presence.

“Ephany,” said Eli softly, “You don’t know me, but I know you.”

Ephany jerked up from her spot. She could see a light in front of her face. Something she hadn’t seen in ages.

Eli went on, “I know how you have suffered with the agony of guilt and remorse. I know you can never forgive yourself for letting down your tribe, but I’m here, and I can forgive you if you will only turn from thoughts of hate.”

“…Thoughts of hate, thoughts of hate.” Why can’t I let them go!”

“You can Ephiny,” said Eli, and as he said this she began to see his shape, his eyes glowed with gold and she could see his love for her.

“How can you love me that way? I’m so ashamed.” she cried out.

“Let go of shame, let go of remorse, let me love you and you can learn to love again.”

Ephany fell to his feet. “I will.”

As she stood again she could see Eli as plane as any man. “If you want now you can go to your tribe, but I need you back in the world Ephany. Will you join me? It could be painful, you will have to suffer again because the way of love is not a guarantee that you won’t get hurt.”

“I’ll follow you,” she said, and they were gone.

oh god it hurts. everything hurts. my hair hurts. something is poking my nipple. my nipple? where am i? and then it hits me. i'm back. back among the living. and naked. i had clothes before. why am i naked? i'm laying face down in the grass. i raise my head and look around. i'm in a forest. i can see a village nearby. my village in fact. my village. mine. oh yes. i smile. broadly. where'd that guy go? i look to my left, trees. to my right, ah, there he is. i lay my head back down on it's side.

"you could have left my clothes on you know." i saltily say to him

"i have no control over how the way returns the faithful to the earth." he calmly replies, looking not the least bit embarassed.

i pry myself up off the ground. i forgot how painful alive was. i was starving. and i really, really needed to pee. once to my feet i dashed off into the bushes like a rabbit and took care of my business. leaving the bushes i see the guy holding out his cloak to me. i gratefully take it.

"thanks. so, i don't believe i caught your name, ya know, before." i stumble through.

"eli. i teach of the way of love. the path you are on now." he replied, his eyes glowing.

"you said something about needing me back in the world. gonna give me any clue on that?" i inquire

"your village, your tribe is in trouble." he paused, unsure of how to go on. "it's livia, well eve, but she's on a vengance path for your tribe. she knows not what she does. she doesn't realize that in killing them, she will be killing a part of her. the amazon's will allow you in, allow you to take your place as queen, allow you to try and reason with her." he solemly replied.

fear. fear racked my body. my tribe? how long did i have? would livia even listen to reason? if not, how many dead?

"how long do we have? how many men does she have with her? what's her state of mind?" the question poured out of me in one slurred, panicked ramble.

"we're already here. you must calm yourself. set your mind free. you can reason with her. i just know it." he looked down, almost solemly. "you have to." he sighed, in almost a hopeful whisper.

i didn't ask anymore questions. i was in a near run. headed toward my village. my village. i still can't belive it. if the circumstances weren't so tragic, i'd be estatic. but as it was, it was very tragic indeed. i arrived in the village and i'm pretty sure a couple of the girls almost died of shock. poor girls, i didn't even think about their reactions to their dead queen coming back. i started shouting orders as soon as the amazons came into sight.

"close the gate!"
"get the archers to the trees!"
"i want all patrol members out NOW!"
"stop staring and get moving, we have a situation here!"
"and somebody get me some CLOTHES!"

i ran to my hut. well it used to be mine. somebody else lived here now, but that was not a major concern of mine at this moment. i hear excitment all around. hear the sounds of amazons running here and there. shouting for the friends, lovers, colleauges. organized chaos. but at least they were moving with a purpose. one of the younger girls quickly came in with my requested clothing. two others joined her and they dressed me quickly. i turned to the one on my right, the dark headed child.

"get me a sword" i requested.

"ephiny, you musn't. you must follow the way of love, it's what has brought you here."

i was shocked. i was appalled. i was shocked and appalled. was he serious? did he know who i was? the dark headed child stood stock still, not sure what to do. i stepped down off the dressing platform and marched my way right over to him.

"do you realize what you ask? do you realize who i am, what i do?" i was nearly yelling, trying to contain my outrage.

"i ask nothing of you. it is the way of love. it is that which has brought you back. you must not stray. i ask only that you be true to yourself. fight this battle with words." his calm demeanor still in place.

i just stood there. i was the queen. the queen. and i can't fight. i expect these women to stand, fight, and fall for the amazon nation, but i can't pick up a weapon and contribute? i turned to the dark headed child.

"bring me a staff." i tried to order with as much dignity as i still had. i didn't turn to see his reaction. the child returned with the requested item, only to have a larger amazon following closely on her heals, in a near state of panic.

"my queen, we were too late. a warrior, she's inside the gate. they are trying to fight her off, but--" she informed me between breaths. i didn't wait for her to finish. i ran past her. ran past all of them. i had my eye on one prize. there she was. her blade held above her head swinging in a downward motion toward one of the guards.

"LIVIA--WAIT" i got her attention, at least for now. she stopped. thank artemis she stopped. i don't know who was more relived, me or the guard. Livia looked at me in disbelief, then masked her emotion in one fluid blink. she turned to me, head held high, and began marching on a straight path to me. i gripped my staff tighter, trying to mask my emotion as well. luckily i was the only one that new i couldn't kill. she stopped a hair's breath from my face.

"Who are you, that you address me so familiarly?" she ground out between her teeth, her rage barely suppressed.

"if i wanted to be familiar, i would have called you eve" i replied sarcastically. i had to hold my ground here. this was my tribe and i was the leader. i had to walk a fine line between leader and idiot.

Livia's eyes narrowed dangerously. "How dare you! I answer to Livia, Champion of Rome. I don't know this Eve you speak of. Now hold your tongue Amazon, before I remove it for you."

"why are you doing this? what wrongs have the amazons bestowed upon you?" i inquired.

A cold sneer formed on Livia's lips. "They dared to oppose Rome. And they have something I want, reason enough to lay waste to this village, until I find what I'm looking for."

"we oppose no one. we wish to live among our sisters in happiness. what is it that you seek? surely this is something that could be asked for, rather than brutally taken." if i can't kill, i can at least speak the truth. try to find some common ground.

Livia smirked. "The Champion of Rome does not ask. But since you seem awfully willing to negotiate Amazon, tell me where I can find the centaur known as Xenan."

i swallowed my tounge. i coughed. sputtered. why? why is it this that she asks.
"i know where he can be found. but that's prized information. for what do you wish to find him for?" she's out of her mind. there's no way in hades i'll tell her. does she even realize that he's my son?

Livia raised her sword and pushed the Amazon back with the flat of the blade. "I will do the questioning Amazon. Answer me, unless you wish to forfeit your life and that of your worthless rabble."

"livia, think of what you are doing. look around you. do you know who you are? you are one of us. you are an amazon. look at them. LOOK AT THEM. look at yourself. you are the same. you would kill your own sisters for a piece of information?" i had to try and reason with her. and she did have a right to know who she was.

The Champion of Rome laughed coldly. "I have no sisters, no family, there is only Rome. And to answer your question, yes, I would kill for information. I think I'll start with you unless you tell me who you are and where I can find the centaur. Do it quickly, for my patience grows thin."

"i am ephiny. that's right. ephiny. gabrielle's regent. gabrielle--the queen who gave you her right of caste. i know who you are, even if you don't." i replied, looking deep into her eyes. trying to will her to listen to reason. i tightened my grip on my staff. it could go either way right now. the ball was in her court. i had to prepare myself for either reaction.

Livia could not mask her surprise. "Ephiny died years ago. If you are her, which I doubt, how'd you come to be here?"

"that man, eli." i turned and nodded towards him with my head. "he brought me back. to save you and to save my tribe. if you kill us, you kill a part of yourself. you are an amazon princess. you could do so much here. but at the very least, shall you not kill that which you came from?"

"Why shouldn't I? What's in it for me that I won't get by slaughtering you all now?" her eyes narrowed. a small smirk came to her face. she knew she had me. she knew that xenan was my son.

"what is it you want?" i had to see if there was some small barganing chip that i was missing. could it be that simple? i only hoped that it could.

Another sneer formed on Livia's lips. "The centaur. And...you. If you really are Ephiny, you may prove useful to me. If not, I'll simply kill you and come back and wipe out this pathetic lot. You must give up your right as Queen. You must renounce your affiliation of all things Amazon. I do not associate with such earth lovers and I will not start now."

"you want us to join you?" i inquired. yes. maybe it was that simple. join her. i could join her. keep trying to get inside her head. keep trying to show her the light.

"Join me? Join ME?" Livia looked toward the sky, laughing. "No one is my equal. I want your souls. I want to own the centaur. Make him the pack horse he is. I can think of nothing better than to have the creature that share's my mother's name serving me like a common slave. And you, well from you I want your everything. I want you to obey my every command. Decide quickly, or the whole tribe dies by my hands. And I promise you this, and think about this very carefully, if you do not agree, I promise to kill Xenan in the most gruesome possible way."

of course it wasn't that easy. how can i just hand him over? at the same time, how can i lead him to his death? i bowed my head in thought. i say a silent prayer. xenan, forgive me. forgive me for this. i do it for you, i do it to protect you. be strong my son.
"Livia, you give me word, your vow on rome, that you will not kill another amazon for all your days, and you promise that my son will remain alive, and in return, i will meet your demands."

A smug smile crossed Livia's face and she waved her hand, carelessly. "Yes yes, you have my word as Champion of Rome, I won't kill another Amazon for the rest of my days and I won't kill your freak of a son either. Now give me the location of one very precious mule."

my eyes filled with tears. one streamed down my face. my head dropped.
"he's a two day's ride west from here. a village called Giddeup. you'll find him there."
i looked up to face her. i was filled with remorse. sorrow. i could just kill her. i could kill her now that her defences were down. but eli's voice kept repeating in my head. and honestly, i don't think i could kill xena and gabrielle's daughter.
"you've done the right thing Livia." my son and my tribe both remain alive.
"we can go now. there's nothing here i need." i reply stepping foward, ready to follow her.

"Oh no Ephiny. You seem to have forgotten part of our deal. You do as I command. And I command you to DIE."

i saw it coming, but not fast enough. her cold and cruel eyes boring into me. the look of delight in what she was doing was almost haunting. the dagger pulled from her hip sunk with purpose into my chest. blackness consumed. my last fleeting thought of my tribe and my son.

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Livia left the Amazon village, the blood still fresh on her blade. She twirled it gleefully in her hands, watching it glisten. yes, this would make a nice little gift for Xenan when she finally saw to him.

"Having fun?" asked a sarcastic voice. Livia looked up to see a man - a Roman, but she didn't recognise him.

"Who are you?" she sneered.

"Caesar," he introduced himself, "Julius Caesar. I've been watching you. I know of your plans to conquer Rome. And i know that Xena will stop at nothing to see you fail."

"I can handle Xena," Livia assured him. "Now why don't you tell me who you really are?" she said, approaching him with the outstretched dagger.

"I told you," he said calmly.

"Julius Caesar is dead," she said. "Augustus is Caesar now."

"Yes," sighed Julius, walking unharmed into the dagger, "I am dead. And Augustus is posing in my place. But I don't like that fraud anymore than you do, and if I have to see my Rome in the hands of another, then I want those hands to be yours."

Livia stared at him. She retracted the dagger from his intangable torso, and nodded.

"Well you won't have to wait long for that," she said. She walked through him, bored with his delay of her plans. Caesar shuddered at the sensation.

"Livia," he warned, "Don't underestimate Xena. She tricked my best friend into killing me - don't think that avoiding her wrath will be easy." Livia stopped.

"Avoid it?" she grinned back at him. "I invite it."

Xena turned over restlessly. Someone was out there watching her. Someone who did not wish her well. She crept away from the campfire and glancing back noticed that Joxer had fallen asleep. She supressed a sigh of exasperation. So much for posting a sentry.

She barely heard the sound of a boot stepping on a fern branch, but she knew immediately where the watcher was. She leapt up into a tree and waited, straining to hear further noises. Suddenly the world lit up all around her. The tree was on fire.
Confused she somersaulted it out of it.

From behind her came a voice that depsite the heat from the flames chilled her spine.

"Hello, Xena. I see you've created another monster in your own image."

Xena whirled around, "Callisto."

The sound of the explosion had brought Gabrielle running with Joxer close behind.

"Criminy, Xena, how many times do you have to kill her?" exclaimed Joxer.

"Apparently one more time." Minya panted as she joined her comrades.

Callisto laughed, "I rather enjoy watching you anguish over the bad turn your spawn has taken. Cute little thing trying to be just like her mother. Although, to be fair to you Xena, you never let yourself become a lapdog of Rome."

Xena glowered and looked away into the distance. "You aren't the Callisto that belongs here."

"No," said Callisto a little sadly, "but then I don't really belong anywhere, not since your army came to Cirra."

The goddess brightened up, "but at least your little girl is carrying on the family tradition. She took out a ressurected Amazon today and is off to gloat to her son. Kinky little minx is saying that she'll ride him hard."

"Resurrected Amazon?" asked Gabrielle.

"Iphegenia," said Callisto. "No, no...that's not right. Don't tell me....oh! Ephiny."

Callisto grinned and disappeared into a ball of fire. It was time for a mother child reunion.

*dite's afro pops in late at nite to Xena's campfire*

Xena, Gabby, Joxer & Minya sleep near the dying campfire. I sprinkle some deep sleep dust over the eyes of those first three snoozers. Ah deep sleep dust, what cool things one can find in the Olympian medicine chest. I want these three to sleep soundly as i sneak over to Minya and put the vampire bite upon her neck.

I am a vampire now, ya know- duh!

Uh, why does Minya's blood *hic* taste of rum?

Minya looks up slowy, in a trancey haze. An Olympian vampire bite is pretty potent stuff, lemme tell ya. Not like one of those wimpy earth-vampire bites.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" mutters Minya.

"Minya" i whisper, "you are now under my vampiric spell. I need for you to spy on Xena, take note of any plans she has that may make trouble for me. You don't need to tell me what the plans are. What you must do, if these plans spell trouble for me, you must do something- anything to put a stop to those plans. If you succeed in helping me, i'll bring you back from the future, a Mr Johnny Depp, who you can do with what you please. Ya dig?"

"D-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepp" drools Minya.

Minya understands.

*dite's afro pops away from smelly campire scene. Now the afro pops into smelly cave way to the north*

Alti's Dead Souls Cave Security System alarm is tripped by the presence of my afro. Alti is up & all buggy-eyed in seconds.

"Xxxxxxxxxxx-ena!?! No, Areeeeeeeee-s?. I detect a sick soul. A real sicko soul. xxxxxx enacrazed- that sicko who's presence I foretold in a vision when I destroyed one of those dancing nekkkkkk-ed blonde bitches? Hmmmmmmmmmm. Whoever it is, appear. Drink some amazon blood with me" says the bag of bones looking all about her cave.

I cast my strange disease spell upon Alti and leave quickly as I forgot to bring any centaur meat to go along with the amazon blood. That would be an insult to my host! Phooey on me, and i so love to drink amazon blood!

Oh yes, the strange disease. I put a rash on her feet that will make her wanna do cheerleader yells and flips when she's about to confront a foe. Gotta love me! But there is a cure for this trashy rash, Alti must woo and marry Salmoneus. Ha ha ha ha HA! Ohhh, guess some of the old dite still resides in me. Yes, Alti can bbq'd him after they're wed for a week, I suppose. An apple would look nice in Sal's big mouth, dontcha all think?

That's all my misdeeds for now. Though I'm going to make Eli dream a sexy dream about a future goddess named Jennifer Connelly. Maybe that'll turn his love crusade to lust.

Wonder if Hercy found the gyros stand? My afro needs fed!

Amarice came running into camp just as a tree caught fire. Gasping for breath she stood in shock as a woman with white blond hair openly taunted Xena.

Callisto! that's has to be Callisto.

Amarice made the others aware of her arrival. "She's telling the truth Xena. I was at the Amazon camp and saw it all."

"Ephiny was back. I heard one of the younger Amazon's yelling she was alive, I was running to her hut when I saw he facing off with Livia."

Xena glared at the young red head, "I mean Eve." Amarice looked uncomfortable. "She want's Xenan and Ephiny told her where he was."

"She would never do that!" Gabrielle exclamed, angered by what she heard.

"It has to be a trick, it wasn't Ephiny you saw. It couldn't have been." Xena said with determination.

"It was Xena." Amarice said with conviction. "Eli was there too."

While the others tried to calm Amarice down, Joxer walked over to his corner of the camp, getting ready to move on. It seemed to be a good idea at the moment and the others was busy with her, not noticing him that much. But it turned out not to be such a great idea... A dark-clad figure trew a dart at him, that hit him right in the bum... Joxer fell over like a big ox.

Whit a big grin the dark-clad figure grabbed Joxers legs and pulled him away from the campfire. “I think you need to lose wheight, Jox.”

When he had Joxer safely away from the others, he poured some water on him to wake him up.

Whit a jerk Joxer woke up. “What? Eh..? Who...? How?? JETT!!!!”
“Hello, brother, dearest...” Jett said with a grin, “Not allowed to be in the inner circle yet, are we?”
“What? Of course I am! I am there friend! And what did you do to me... My head hurts!”
“To much thinking,eh...?”
“Wait a minute, wheren’t you in jail?”
“I was. But get this, they let me out. For my good behavior!” Jett laughed, “Seriously though, bro, I am trying to be better. I have an emplyment now, and thats why I am here.”
“Employment? Whit who? And what kind?”
“Brother, brother... Always questions with you, isn’t it? I work for King Gregor, then one married with Pandora. He sent me to give Xena this.” Jett hands over two letters.
“What is this? And why didn’t you give it to Xena yourself?”
“More questions? Don’t know what it is. It is a king-thing, I guess. And if I gave it to Xena, she’d probebly try to kill me. Our last encounter wasn’t to freindly, remember?”
“Oh. Yeah.”
“Just give it to her. King Gregor said he found it in his libary and thought it might help. Tell her that. I gotta go.”
”Wait! Why don’t you join us? I am sure Xena would forgive you....” Joxer said hopefully.
“I am not THAT good... “ Jett said with a wicked grin, “I said I worked for King Gregor. Figure it out yourself, little brother... “

And with that Jett jumped up a tree and was gone.

Joxer just stood there with the two parchments from King Gregor, a wee bit confused (more than usually...). One had the King Gregors seal on it, the other had a seal with tree black circles joined with a red triangle in the middle...

Xena and her growing band arrived at the village near the end of a bustling market day. "Gabrielle, you and Joxer go find us some rooms. I need time to plan, and we'll need a base. Try to find something near the edge of town."

"What abou.." Joxer began.

"Yes, I'll look at your papers later. First things first. Now go with Gabrielle." Joxer, at first crestfallen from being ignored, trotted happily off to look for lodgings with Gabrielle.

Xena sent Minya and whoever else had joined the party since this mornings to ask around casually, find out whatever they could about strange goings on...undead sometimes-gods, Roman bitches, and scary crazy witch women, or what have you.

Xena, finally alone, scouted the interior of the village. Finding nothing of interest but a few thieves and a charming textiles vendor named Ru, she met Gabrielle at the town's gyro stand, as was their standing plan.

Gabrielle was all smiles. "We got three rooms...or two and a closet. The inn keeper has a stall left in his stable, but there's some kind of horse convention in town, I don't know, so we should get Argo set up before...."

"Gabrielle, wait. I'm not staying. I said I needed time to plan, and I do...time alone. I've checked the town and it looks safe, at least for now..."

"But..."

"shh," Xena touched her finger to Gabrielle's lips, her voice soft. "Lay low, stay safe. I'll be back soon."

With that, Xena smiled warmth and confidence, and turned toward the east. Her friends were assets, that was certain, but she couldn't risk them getting hurt. Her chakram was gone, but there were other tools. And she knew just where to get them....