I was playing soccer when she crash-tackled into me.

"Sorry love. They put these fields too close together."

All I was able to make out was a grubby green and white stripped jersey before she streaked away back to her rugby team.

Her game must have finished first because she was waiting for me in the car park at the conclusion of mine.

"Just wanted to say sorry again. Hope I didn't hurt you."

She was seventy if she was a day. Wiry bones coated in leather. Grey curls and a big set of ivories. I doubted she could hurt a puppy.

"No, I'm OK."

"Let me buy you an ice cream to make up for being so clumsy."

The Mr Whippy van had appeared on the scene as it often did at the end of each weekly match. Disorderly lines of tubby children were already forming in front of it. I was feeling the heat from the game.

"Alright. Make mine a single serve vanilla."

I quickly toweled myself down and shoved my muddy shoes into the gym bag in which I carried my soccer gear. Then the whole lot was pushed onto the back seat of my car. I straightened up and looked for my ice cream fairy.

She was heading triumphantly across the car park holding aloft the cone filled with ice cream and a bonus stick of chocolate stuck into the side. She looked like an Australian version of the Stature of Liberty. I can't remember seeing anyone who appeared more proud.

As I watched a car zoomed down the centre of the car park and hit her. It made her look like a doll cast aside roughly, all limbs and stuffing. The driver's face was a mask of horror.

I cried out in shock and rushed over to her stricken form. People were standing around and staring not knowing how to take in what had happened let alone do anything to help.

Ice cream mingled with blood on the asphalt. I knelt down next to her and heard a low groan.

"Judy."

"What's that?" I bent down and put my ear against her lips.

"Judy. Someone has to tell Judy."

"I'll tell her. Where is she?"

"At home."

"Where is home?"

She had stopped speaking. I looked at her face. It was no longer vibrant. All that remained was a husk of the woman who had been running around after a bouncing ball not half an hour ago. There was nothing I could do.

Except find Judy.

--------------------

EXERCISE: Write about a "visitation" - a scene or the beginning of a story where the main character has their life interupted by an unexpected visit.

wow. excellent. it made my eyebrows do the suprise thing. very good.

~b

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"you've never looked into my eyes
but don't you want to know
what the dark, and the wild,
and the dangerous know"

Argy,

Awesome...for real, that just yeah...awesome. I don't even really know what to say except that was pretty darn...awesome. If I had more words, I would use 'em!

~Gabber



"I'm here for the hard times
The straight to your heart times
Whenever it ain't easy
You can stand up against me
And maybe rely on me
And cry on me

Some day they'll open up your world
Shake it down on a drawing board
Do their best to change you
They still can't erase you..."

Thank you both.

I feel like this course is helping my writing to get better.