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Chief Chesty Forlock |
I was playing soccer when she crash-tackled into me. "Sorry love. They put these fields too close together." All I was able to make out was a grubby green and white stripped jersey before she streaked away back to her rugby team. Her game must have finished first because she was waiting for me in the car park at the conclusion of mine. "Just wanted to say sorry again. Hope I didn't hurt you." She was seventy if she was a day. Wiry bones coated in leather. Grey curls and a big set of ivories. I doubted she could hurt a puppy. "No, I'm OK." "Let me buy you an ice cream to make up for being so clumsy." The Mr Whippy van had appeared on the scene as it often did at the end of each weekly match. Disorderly lines of tubby children were already forming in front of it. I was feeling the heat from the game. "Alright. Make mine a single serve vanilla." I quickly toweled myself down and shoved my muddy shoes into the gym bag in which I carried my soccer gear. Then the whole lot was pushed onto the back seat of my car. I straightened up and looked for my ice cream fairy. She was heading triumphantly across the car park holding aloft the cone filled with ice cream and a bonus stick of chocolate stuck into the side. She looked like an Australian version of the Stature of Liberty. I can't remember seeing anyone who appeared more proud. As I watched a car zoomed down the centre of the car park and hit her. It made her look like a doll cast aside roughly, all limbs and stuffing. The driver's face was a mask of horror. I cried out in shock and rushed over to her stricken form. People were standing around and staring not knowing how to take in what had happened let alone do anything to help. Ice cream mingled with blood on the asphalt. I knelt down next to her and heard a low groan. "Judy." "What's that?" I bent down and put my ear against her lips. "Judy. Someone has to tell Judy." "I'll tell her. Where is she?" "At home." "Where is home?" She had stopped speaking. I looked at her face. It was no longer vibrant. All that remained was a husk of the woman who had been running around after a bouncing ball not half an hour ago. There was nothing I could do. Except find Judy. -------------------- EXERCISE: Write about a "visitation" - a scene or the beginning of a story where the main character has their life interupted by an unexpected visit. | ||
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Scroll Disciple |
wow. excellent. it made my eyebrows do the suprise thing. very good. ~b ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "you've never looked into my eyes but don't you want to know what the dark, and the wild, and the dangerous know" | |||
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Ultimate Scroller |
Argy, Awesome...for real, that just yeah...awesome. I don't even really know what to say except that was pretty darn...awesome. If I had more words, I would use 'em! ~Gabber "I'm here for the hard times The straight to your heart times Whenever it ain't easy You can stand up against me And maybe rely on me And cry on me Some day they'll open up your world Shake it down on a drawing board Do their best to change you They still can't erase you..." | |||
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Chief Chesty Forlock |
Thank you both. I feel like this course is helping my writing to get better. | |||
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