i'm not as slow as i seem
that last one came to me in a dream
i know no disgrace
swinging my verbal mace
and riding off with a Callisto scream

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

common sense would tell me not to try and continue
but i'm after a piece of the diamond in you
so keep your heart open
this spirit ain't broken...
and just a little is enough

i'm tired, so you may or may not buy it
it's late for limming, but i'm gonna try it
i'm pooped--totally beat
12 hours on my feet
but this thread has just been to damn quiet

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

nice guys finish last

I'm do a lim of salem
Even though i won't ail him
He won't come to my house
He is such a louse
He's scared we'll all impale him

========================

I LOVE MY NEW COMPUTER!!

What if I do a post in this thread
For no reason before I go to bed
It's not going well
In fact I may yell
Because the replies to this, I do dread?

i will not attack you, Salem
if anyone does, i'll assail 'em
a fine lim you've writ
nothing at all wrong with it
if you get bad reviews, return mail 'em

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

sunshine. rainbows. unicorns. happy happy crap.

my hair is blonde, my shirt is red
soon i'll be going off to bed
just because it rhymes right
doesn't make a lim tight
i have no idea why i've just said what i've said

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

sunshine. rainbows. unicorns. happy happy crap.

in my lame little attempt to depict
a really really foul limerick
at failing i succeeded
the crap flowed unimpeded
i think it was the rum that did the trick

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

sunshine. rainbows. unicorns. happy happy crap.

I tried so hard to stay away
But had to come back here to play
It's clear I'm addicted
As zoomy predicted
But a limerick shall save the day!

fairly rested, having slept like a log
i blasted through the What If thread bog
since i still have some time
i'll jot off a quick rhyme
then go toss football out back with my dog

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

i beg your pardon
i never promised you a rose garden

The beagle outside won't shut up
She's whining and carrying on like a pup
Thought she knows better
Gotta sleep outside, bed wetter
Poor Alice, she's all locked up.

Meh, it's late and I'm sleepy.

Still the World's Biggest, Bestest Gabber Fan


I offer no apologies for the things that I believe and say
And I like it that way

Tear me up
Start me over
Make me become your ideal
Break what's me
Change how I think
Tell me what to feel

Because it's all for you
And who am I to protest?

a new limerick--can't believe my eyes
what a pleasant Friday surprise
but now i'm off to work
with bloodyclownboy, that jerk
to see what new way he will antagonize

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

gimme back my bullets...

there once was a girl with a gun
who's not one in Fight Club to run
but i think we've seen the dawn
of the politcal Shawn
gotta protect herself from the Evil Nun

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

gimme back my bullets...

There once was an evil nun
Who did not fear the sun
The church fathers grunted
and their agents hunted
but she picked them all off with her gun



Life is boring
It's really got me snoring
I'm wearing out the flooring
In a cheap hotel
But I don't have to work and
I might be sinning
But I never have to listen to
The rings of school bells

"The Air Near My Fingers" - Jack White

whether feeling all dreary and crappy
or giddy and downright slap-happy
nothing does we as well
as a limerick so swell
or a corny joke by my ol' pappy

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

i'm just a soul whose intentions are good;
oh lord please don't let me be misunderstood

Here i am typing and sipping a drink
Wondering when i lim, do i even think
Do i let it roll off my fingers and onto the page
When i'm done do I feel like a bird out of a cage
Now better go clean the kitchen sink

========================

Leo: Hey, you want to freeze me in bed for your own personal pleasure, that is fine, but freezing Natalie is not gonna make her or the Elders happy.

a quick lim before bed, methinks
then off to catch 40+ winks
so i'll face the comp screen
and make a gesture obscene
and then say to all: "toodles dahlinks!"

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

i'm just a soul whose intentions are good;
oh lord please don't let me be misunderstood

this is the thread i meant to relive
though we should keep the episodic lims alive
you all obviously need to be bossed:
"GET IN HER & RHYME AT ALL COSTS!"
and don't give me any excuses or jive.

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

"C" is for cookie;
that's good enough for me!

methinks it time for a reunion of the Clan
and i think i have just the plan
but first i must count us all
so i'll start the roll call
Evelyn O'Zoom's the name of this limerick fan

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

"C" is for cookie;
that's good enough for me!

Ame McHaggis is quick to the mark
We all know she's a real bright spark
At the scrolls through the day
Or maybe a roll in the hay
She's always off on a lark

========================

Leo: Hey, you want to freeze me in bed for your own personal pleasure, that is fine, but freezing Natalie is not gonna make her or the Elders happy.

Shamus O'Okie McKatz is my name
Penning bad limericks is my game
What a shame it doesn't pay
For a cushy job I do pray
and notoriety rather than fame




"I have a degree from the University of Life, a diploma from the School of Hard Knocks, and three gold stars from the Kindergarten of Getting the Shit Kicked Out of Me."

Captain Edmund Blackadder: Blackadder Goes Forth

Sara McKillin, I be
A woman on the edge is me
Tenants are insane
All they do is gripe and complain
But I'll fix them, wait and see

I offer no apologies for the things that I believe and say
And I like it that way


Why am I so curious?
This territory's dangerous.
I'll probably end up at the start,
I'll be back in line with my broken heart

i fine name that, Sara McKillin
to defend us she'll always be willin'
sharp of wit and of tongue
she'll rip out your lung
soon as she finishes the poem that she's quillin'

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

"C" is for cookie;
that's good enough for me!

Chiana McTired is here
Too many people up in my ear
Bastards are loud
One sounds like a crowd
So now they don't get any beer!

It's been a while since i have limmed
I know you all also have sinned
Left this thread to rot
Off doing what-not
Just making sure this thread ain't binned

========================

You're wrong not to trust one that knows you so well. I never betrayed you.. that was... Gabrielle

i'm full of joy and elation
because i'm at last on vacation
life without me will be bleak
but i'll see ya'll in a week
i'm off now to my favorite location.

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

No, Gabrielle. You understand hate, but you don't give in to it. You don't know how much I love...that.