yadda yadda yadda

Why do i have to race with mortals? Pish posh. And mortals who haven't bathed in ages, i might add.

*looks in mirror at self*

*three days later, puts mirror down*

enough of this poo. I need a change. If i'm going to win that silly mortal race, i need to drop the love crap (which never works out anyway, it's all lust, need ya ask).

I have asked daddy Zeus if i can replace love with strange diseases and amnesia. He said isn't that what love is all about anyway? Oh that papa Zeus, he slays me. But he's right.

He agreed. He said i had to take on physical changes, i now look like that avatar thingie but that's okay, after wearing the same outfit for centuries (which needs to be laundered, let me tell ya), change is good.

Now where'd i leave my book on strange diseases? hmmm...oh yeah, in my afro!

*puts funky cd from the 21st century into cd player.*

Time travel is such a cool perk for us godly folk.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: xenacrazed,

Zeus has also made me a vampire. Cool! Now i can get the bite on Gabrielle, Xena, Eve, Alti, Minya and whoever. Whatever!

i hated being good, and now that i'm bad, i'm going to have fun. I need to mess with their minds first. Bwahahahahahahahaha!

One of them mortals in the race will get a strange disease. I think I will make one of them mortals into a two headed centaur- except the horse part will be a zebra! A zebtaur! Gotta love me!

The goatee is itchin' though. I don't look like me no more. I look worse than that xenacrazed person who kept praying to me to give him the 3 dancing naked Gabbies. As if!

*writes in journal as The White Stripes & the Beatles sing my fave songs in the psychie pad. Being a godly type is fun cuz you can bring in artists from any time period. Gotta love me!*

Today i redisigned all the dite's afro shrines. They're all painted black with a real goth interior. Instead of worshippers leaving me gifts and whatnots, i have a bowl in each shrine in which i've spat or rinsed my afro in. The worshippers must drink the spit or afro rinse or else they get lashed with my whip! Cool, huh?

I don't understand the race around ancient Greece thing. It's all disjointed & what gives with Eli making Ephiny into a love slave or something. As if!

It's time i whoosed all the players to a cruise ship to take a tour to a deserted isle...
a 3 hour tour...
a 3 hour tour...

get it! Gilligan's Island- duh!

At least they'd all be in one spot. What fun tropical diseases i could cast on them! Coconut zombie rash! Fer out!

But that would be too easy, must do as i said i'd do in that 'what if' post. Bwhahahahahahah!

Look what i read in that Caesar dude's diary with all-seeing afrodelic eye-

"But all this anomosity in the world lately, it makes me think, "Where is the love?" Can it be that Aphrodite has abandoned the mortals to their own devices? No, she wouldn't do that - she's far too concerned about their well being. I mean, just look at what she did to me! Her own son! (She'll deny that of course.) Cast me down from Mount Olympus when i wasn't even a day old, just because I might have been a "threat" to humanity. Oooh, so I was the "evil" twin. So what!? Like that stupid brother of mine, Eros deserved to be a god over me!? Rediculous. No, if my mother hadn't stripped me of my powers at birth and sent me down to be raised as a common mortal, I would have taken Ares' place as God of War long ago. As it is, i'm having to loiter around with crazy women, scabbling for a chance to get back to my lousy human existance.

Peh, I never thought I was a god, I knew i was a god - rightfully anyway. Damn Aphrodite and her do-gooding. If only she'd come to her senses and realise that I'm the one she should have kept - not Eros. Then she could restore my godhood and oh how I'd make the mortal's squirm then. Especially you, Xena...heh heh heh"

Dude, I'm dite's afro. There were some big big BIG changes here. Power changes, cosmetic changes, good-to-evil changes, dig? And don't believe all that myth crap that the Roman media writes about the gods as well as mortals. Your real mommy and daddy are Princess Lea & Darth Vader.

I would loan you a temporary power, Caesey, but you're so much into that "this is my destiny" do-do that i can't, plus look at how you betrayed Xena.

Though, if you would, say capture Alti as a sign of good faith, perhaps we could strike a deal. Either work with me, bub, or all you'll be known for is a salad bwhahahahahahaha!

Dear dairy,

I like cheese

i have green fungus in my eyebrows


I don't understand the game, the race, whatever it is anymore. Probably will just let the mortals kill one another off & then take over. I was also thinking aboot an alliance with Callisto, Ares & Alti for a Twilight of the Mortals. We can create a new race of gods on earth. Keen, eh?

Caesar still calls me "Aphrodite" and insists we're related. WRONG! I am the dite's afro & i claim no mortal as blood kin. What are they slipping in the C dude's wine these days?

Alti is also in denial, and i ain't talkin bout no river in Egypt. Just cause she ate some pork today- even if it was Salmoneous- doesn't end the foot rash as the two weren't married. Can you vomit him up & marry that real quick-like?

Wonder what Hera & Zeus are plotting next. They haven't created any contests like this in centuries. I remember when they shut down the Olympian restrooms and when we gods had to go potty, we had to let go over the side of clouds, onto earth, onto mortals. Groady! That sure cut down on gifts at our temples for awhile. It's foretold that when it's Hera & Zeus' time to kick the gyros, that they'll be reborn as a strange earth pair named Argy McBargy & Ame. Or was it gabris & danae? I so get those strange mortals mixed up-they all look alike!

dite's afro scans the latest rumblings in the race around ancient Greece story thread thing and notices- i'm not even mentioned by the others! What gives? I should just KILL THEM ALL! and move on. Petty pesky mortals. hmmmmph!

Minnnnnnnn-nnnnnn-yyyyaaaaaaaaaaaa oh Minnnnnnnn-nnnnnn-yyyyaaaaaaaaaaaa you will hear the sound my farkin voice calling out to you. Whatever you are doin', stop doin' it and listen. i dun care if you're doing furious zug zug with some mortal, immortal, immature, or immoral person(s), stop-n-listen to the afro.

So, like, how are you gettin around ancient Greece so fast in all your side adventures? Why do i detect a foul presence known for sending ppl and Gabby-traitors ahead in races- a foul presence aka Ares? Or are there multiple Minyas like the Xena lookalikes & the 3 dancing naked Gabbies? Don't trust Airheadees. Forget the leather. Stop wetting yourself over him- groady!

Minya, you are still under my spell. It was good Xena sent you off on that chore & that you went off on your own. It was all part of the plan. You can still have Johnny as well as all the blueberries & rum & opera music you can handle as long as you keep thwarting all who mean me harm. Don't let that bearded swine Eli try to trick ya when you meet. "Eli" stands for "he lie"! And he does! False prophet, false promises, false hope (hmmmmm? why does that sound familiar)- i suggest you start your warrioresshood by killing a true warrioress enemy- Eli. Or else he'll turn you into a nun or his own Minya Faye Baker-is that what you want??? Mins, you don't wanna be seen in public or or even at the Joxer fam reunion sporting all that Faye Baker mascara, do ya?

Caesar keeps on insisting we're related, why, i have no idea. Although- it's common knowledge that his obsession with Xena has kept him from forming a normal relationship with women. He has his ho's snuck into his palace on a regular basis, never the same ho twice. Me thinks he's contracted some kinda venereal disease which has really really demented his mind. Poor li'l puppy, wonder if they've put the Imperial Crest upon His Royal Straightjacket yet?

Yesterday was Hade's birthday, so much fun throwing him a party. Ares played a hilarious practical joke on Hades when he stuck that knife into Hades and shouted that it was the dagger of helios! Ha ha ha ha HA! 'Course most gods (not Hades apparently) know that the real dagger of helios lost it's power and was reshaped as a ginzu knife for an Athen's Benihana's. So much for god killing utensils, as it was just recently discovered that the Hind's Blood Dagger did not have any Hind's blood on it at all- it was ketchup- the Heinz "Blood" Dagger haha heh ha gotta love it- and me! Anyhoo, at the party we played pin the chakram on the eternal damned souls as well as bobbed for caramel eggnog apples MMMMmmmmm.

*the afro turns on the tv to the Olympus News Network*

"This is Dan Ratherstoopid reporting for ONN. As reported earlier, Ares, God of War, was killed on earth last night by the zealot Eli. How did a mere pathetic mortal kill the God of War? With help from Zeus, and possibly Hera, is what sources are telling us."

*scenes of protesters outside the Olympus Royal Palace appear on screen*

Dan: Protesters- godly, half-godly, even mortals- are filling the streets around the Royal Palace. They hold signs that read "No Excuse for Zeus", "Hera's Era is Over", "Send Zeus to the Old God's Home!", "Our Ares- Right or Wrong- Bring Him Back", "Eli Lies to His Followers!", "KILL ELI", "Bring Me the Head of Zealot Eli", "Minya- Kill Eli or No More Rum" "Eat At Hercy's Gyros Stand", "there is no xenacrazed", and- what a minute, we've just been informed that the Olympus Minister of Information will give a press conference in a few minutes. Will some godly person please whoosh me over to the conference?"

Ares dead? Zeus & Hera implicated? Is that my blueberry pancakes burning in the kitch?

Dan: I'm here at the MOI press conference. Minister Gyros W. Bushite has given some foggy details of Ares' death. Now he's sayi-

Bushite: Are there any questions from you liberal media types? Yes, Dan Ratherstoopid?

Dan: What exacrly is the involvement of Zeus and Hera in the death of Ares?

Bushite: I'm sorry, but all transcripts relating to the death of Ares will be sealed and kept from the public until 100 years after the deaths of Zeus and Hera.

Dan: But they're immortal.

Bushite: Any other questions?

Dan: What about Eli? Will the gods now kill him?

Bushite: Eli is free to go his own Way. heh heh

*grumbles of discount erupt*

Dan: Mr. Bushite, letting Eli live will only lead to revolt and revolution in Olympus. How can the top gods justify such a stupi-

Bushite: Eli has no weapons of mass destruction, unlike Ares had. If Eli does, it will be because we supplied them to him.

Dan: But all gods have some weapons of mass destruction. It's their godhood right.

Bushite: Ares was a bad man, a baaaaaaad man and had to be stopped before he took over the seat of command from Zeus.

Dan: Ares was not bad, he was the god of war, it was his birthright to support war. And who said he wanted to take over Zeus' command?

Bushite: No one said so, but as long as it's possible he might have considered it...

Dan: So you do admit that Zeus had him killed-

*at this point assistant Minister of Information Dickless Cheneyite takes over the podium*

Cheneyite: Hey, FARK you, Dan Ratherstoopid, and FARK all those un-godly un-Olympium protesters who want to bring the Realm of the gods down!

Dan: I don't want to bring down the Realm of the gods. I'm as patriotic as the next mortal newsperson up here. I'm only seeking the truth-

*cheers from the press corps*

Dan: -and making sure that the public knows what really happened to Ares without a cover-up to what obviously seems a conspirac-

Cheneyite: You farking ignatoid! How dare you question the office of the Ministry of Misin- uh Information in such a way! Guards, take this stoopi-

*the afro turns off the tv*

Poor Ares.

What to do now- stay on as a Greek god type or quit the gang and apply for affiliation with another country's god gang?

To be continued!

Still hungover from that trip to Brazil. But i have placed Mannie the Amazonian Manatee, who wouldn't go back home, in my outdoor pool. Wonder what the li'l creature eats?

Tomorrow i have 2 interviews with other god gang affiliations. Just to test the waters of the other sides, mind you. Besides, Olympus is no fun place to be now. No one trusts the top gods til we get an offical statement of why my bro was offed. The meanies!

Can't make Ares' head nor Argo's tail outta what's going on amongst the earthly bunch i often hang with. Is Caesar still on the me as a relative kick? If so, ya'd think he'd blame Eli and crucify him for what happened to "uncle" Ares. Ya know, i could easily wipe their slate clean but i don't and i don't know why. It's like there're some other unknown players here
pulling the strings.

That may account for that letter slipped under my door this evening before i returned home. The message inside read, "wouldn't you like to know who's manipulating whom? Dr" Dr? Who's this doctor anyhoo? OOOOOooo the plot thickens.

Party at Mt Olympus!.

Ambrosia cocktails for all.

My favourite daughter, you never write?

Sounds good. Make mine a double.

For you my sweet, we can have an ambrosia wrestling pit..

You... me....5 mins..*wink*

I'll be there. In my black G string.

I do like the shimmery peacock print one best myself..

Enough! They are raven feathers, and you know it.

Now, come here and let me wrap my boa around your neck.

Along with other things .....

How will we get the ambrosia out of..... there?

That's why you created tongues.

EXSQUEEZE ME!!!! Do the big old godly people not know how to press the wittle ding dong bell thing? Besides, you shoulda popped in the servants entrance cause i don't want the rioters & protesters stomping on my lawn as you murderers of Ares are here- duh!

Now sca-doodle outta here cuz i have an interv- um an entertainment center to build, yeah, that's the ticket.

Sheeeeesh, relatives!

Just before leaving for my god gang affiliation interviews, the phone rings-

Me: It's dite, so bite me.

Hera: *hmmmph!* Not proper phone etiquitte for a god of your stature!

Me: Yada yada yada, wadda ya want?

Hera: Did you give powers- godly powers- to Julius Caesar?

Me: Moi? Give powers to that poo-poo head? As if!

Hera: I have it from reliable sources that you did. Now he believes he's taking Ares place and has your blessing on this.

Me: No way Hera-ay! I did mention that if he thought he was related to me, that means he should think he's related to Ares- but this was just a ploy to get him to go after Eli.

Hera: And how do you know Caesar isn't related to Ares?

Me: You're pulling my afro! Ares was Caesy's uncle?

Hera: Perhaps yes, perhaps no. There's more to this than I can comment upon now.

Me: Yeah old lady, what about who really had my bro killed? And why?

Hera: Do not take that tone with me! I'll flatten that afro to a pancak-

Me: -and I'll tell Zeus about your little fling with Cecrops! He really rocked your boat, eh Hery?

Hera: *hmmmph!* I did not come here to trade bards, I came here-

Me: Bards? Trade bards? Like Gabby?

Hera: I meant 'barbs'.

Me: Why'd you say 'bards'? Are you trying to tell me...that Gabby is a key...in getting to the bottom of all the strange happenings lately?

Hera: You're so paranoid. What strange happeneings?

Me: Duh duh duh! Wimpy peacenik Eli killing Ares- rumors of Zeus ordering this are everywhere. You killing Autolycus because- so I hear- you've sided with Callisto. You sending the Furies upon Livia. You & Zeus getting yourselves personally involved in mortal matters alluva sudden, instead of being bed ridden watching "Lassie" reruns. By the us, what's goin' on?

Hera: First, you tell me this- did you or did you not give Caesar powers and if not, who do you think would do that and make it seem as if you did do that?

Me: Wanna repeat that? I was trying to get my comb outta my afro-

Hera: YOU heard me!

Me: Awrights awready! *sigh* It was probably one of the ditebots that did it.

Hera: Ditebot?

Me: Yeah, remember those Fantastic Four comics I brought back from the future? With that cool villain, Dr. Doom?

Hera: *sighs* No. *and pictures dite in a straightjacket*

Me: Well, Dr.Doom created all these doombots- robots- to be him so that he could be other places and he knew the doombots would probably be killed by the good guys thinking that a doombot was him but actual-

Hera: -the point of this being?

Me: I had some ditebots created to be me & go where I didn't want to go or couldn't go. So I'm thinking it was ditebot that spoke to Caesar. The ditebots do have powers, not much, but some.

Hera: And how many of these mechanical menaces are there?

Me: (lying) Oh, only 2.

*silence on the line*

Hera: Very well. What's done is done. Control your bots, understand?

Me: Whatever. Now what about Ares, Auto, Livia, and these messages from King Gre-

*click!*

Me: She hung up on me! Why I oughta---! *hmmmph*

Oh well, on to my interviews.

To be continued

My first new god gang affiliation interview took place somewhere high high above the African contintent. I was lead to a small office where I met Kokolo.

Kokolo: Greetings, I am the African God of Employment. I see that you want a job here among the African gods.

Me: Yep indeedy. Whatcha got for me?

Kokolo: Sadly, openings are few. We do have one job available which perhaps fits your expierence. It would only last 40-50 years and is only a weekend godhood. So you would not want to quit your main god job.

Me: Hmmmm, i've often spent 40 years just looking at me in the mirror. What's the job?

Kokolo: You would be Fela, God of Funky Rythms. You would entertain the villagers of the Inner Bantuiana nation. You would play for them funky dance music.

Me: Cool! I'd be a DJ. Are you talking about bringing music & stereo systems from the future to the Inner Bantuianan nation? Isn't that against the rules?

Kokolo: Well, we gods know this partiucular tiny nation will be consumed by tribal war within 40-50 years. Most of the peoples will either be killed or be captured by other tribes. Such is life here for these times, so why not let them enjoy some future inventions.

Me: Hey, I have some Greek warrior type pals who are currently racing around Greece who I could ask if they'd come here and kick some tribal butt, if ya want.

Kokolo: No, no. We just recently dealt with one Greek thieving warrior and we want no more.

Me: What Greek thievi-

Kokolo: His name was Autoylcus. He stole a sacred jewel from one of our god's temples. He left other riches behind and took only that jewel. Very strange.

Me: Hmmmm... wonder why he only took the one piece?

Kokolo: *gives me a cold smirk* As he was escaping the villagers, he mentioned how Zeus would pay top dinar for the jewel. Why Zeus would want a powerless gem is beyond me.

I have to get this job to find out more about this...

Me: Job sounds fine with me. When do i start?

Kokolo: This weekend. Oh, and you'll have to change your gender and your race. But you can keep the afro heh heh.

...

So why did Zeus have Auto steal a gem from some puny backward African nation? Was this the real reason Auto was killed? Are Hera & Zeus playing some of us like pawns in some warped game? Can I get enough funky music cd's back here in time for the weekend? What if i forget to change gender & race before going home on Monday's? Why is it that i couldn't get a permanent full time godhood? Who cares if my paycheck here isn't in dinars and i have to go to the International Godly Bank to get my pay converted from bantunars to dinars?

Next up, my second interview took place in the Realm of the Animal Spirits. Ok, it's not my style but who knows, maybe they'd let me be a spoiled cat god or something.

I entered the room where i'd be interviewed, and saw this sign posted upon the wall-

"See the TURTLE of enormous girth!
On his shell he holds the earth
If you want to run and play,
Come along the BEAM today."

Jeeps, did i walk into a Stephen King novel?

Suddenly the interviewer dude strolled in.

"I am Shardik, Chief Bear Spirit. I will be your interviewer."

Me: Hey, I've heard of you! Thought this job would be too piddly for your bear britches.

Shardik: Uh, we animal spirits take pride in all jobs. Unlike gods and humans. And I have heard of you, dite, as well.

Me: Cool! Dig my threads, my new afro, my new career change?

Shardik: *look carefully at dite's appearance* So sorry about- what was it you had- a mental breakdown?

Me: Hey, dik, i don't need this, if i wanted to be insulted i would have phoned Hera back this morning!

Shardik: So sorry. Well then. The job we have to offer us would be as Firefly Species #135 Spirit. It will be a Tuesday's and Thursday's job. No temples, no office, we have a tight budget.

Me: Fireflies? Lightning bugs?

Shardik: Beetles actually. Your job is pretty much to listen to their complaints and that's about it. Only power you recieve is a glowing nose to get their attention.

Me: I get a glowing nose from too much eggnog.

Shardik: Plus you have to lose the vampire power as well as the strange diseases power. You revert to love, though it's okay to be mischieveous.

Me: WHAT! What do fireflies care about my Greek powers?

Shardik: No, it's not for here that you must lose those powers. It was foreseen by dr that you must do this.

Me: dr? The same dr who left me a strange note under my door?

Shardik: I cannot comment. What say you on this job offer?

Me: *hmmmmm* I'll take it. But- do i get help in Greece when i need it from animals & insects since I'm a spirit of a species too?

Shardik: It will depend on the circumstances.

Me: Ok, fine. Oh, what about gender and stuff?

Shardik: We have a firefly outfit for you. One size fits all.


...

Who is this "dr" that has foreseen things in my life? Why does Shardik seem as elusive in his replies as Hera does in hers? What if Greek god pets are conspiring with animal spirits and what if Hera & Zeus are involved? Why is it that i suspect Argo as well. Who cares if i used to take oars and swat fireflies outta the nite skies? Why not worry about my sanity like never before?

Home at least *whew*. Now I believe more than ever that Zeus & Hera are behind some big stuffies on earth. Mayhap i send some ditebots out to spy & snoop.

Have to keep an eye on Livia's Furies-driven madness. Mayhap i can transport her somewhere useful where she can cause some real mischief!

Missing the vampire & strange disease powers a little, though i guess Minya shouldn't feel any differently maybe just unclear about what she should do for me. But that's apples & bananas with me.

Love love love *stomach groans* gotta get used to that crap over again. But i do have 2 groovy side god jobs to look forward to.

Mayhap I whoosh Eli to the African continent to whip some of his zealot stuffage on the foes of my people. Ha ha ha HA! Especially the head shrinker tribe to the south! Ha ha ha HA! Well, that counts as mischief and i'm allowed to do that.

"dr" who is that? Dan Ratherstoopid? no, couldn't be.

Anyhoo, time to kick back-
and-
to-
go-
SHOPPING YAY!

I am so a hero, now aren't I? Gotta love me!

Just sent one of my ditebots to let Xena know that Gabby is home in Pottyville. Xena knows about the ditebots, though she rolls her eyes anytime i mention them. I betcha she'll be tickled Gabby-pink to see the ditebot this time!

That charm i spun around her village should keep the Altis & the Callistos outta the town til Gabby recupes and rejoins Xena. Who should i bill for the charm & the use of ditebots? Oh heck, let it be a freebee or mayhap Gabby's sister Lila can make me some blueberry pancakes MMMMMmmmmm.

Nice of Hephaistos to make some chains for Xena. Poor fellow gets so bored making horsehoes all day, so making them chains was a fun break for the God of Arts & Crafts.

Took a few minutes to convince Hades to loan out that helmet. He's so attached to it. "No, it's my helmet, mmmmmmm-y helmet!" Good thing i reminded him that if it hadn't been for evil Xena sending him all that work that he'd either have been unemployed or Hephaistos' assistant. That got him to change his mind. Plus Xena knows best to return the helmet when she's done. Hmmmm...Xena kinda resmembles Hades in a way. Could it be...hmmmm?

*to the tune of 'Jim Dandy' by Black Oak Arkansas*

'dite's afro to the ress-cue, dite's afro to the ress-ess-cue
g-gooo dite's afro, go dite's afro, goooOOOOO!'

Gotta love me!

To think, i only got back in the love biz yesterday. Now i'm saving silly mortals again. I would have kept Gabby here for awhile to rest, but if Hera & Zeus had popped in like the other nite and found Gabby here, ooo la la, the Joxer's stew woulda hit the fan, lemme tell ya.

Now i must select some funky cd's to play at my DJ gig this weekend (since i am also Fela God of Funk). Then i have to try on my firefly spirit outfit for my other god job. I hope i get good at one of these jobs, in case i need a place to crash if Hera & Zeus decide to pull an Ares on me. And where has Eli disappeared to? Hmmmm....

Washing my afro when the phone (aren't future appliances cool?) rings-

Me: dite's pad, hiya dad.

Zeus: How did you know it was me?

Me: I can smell the gyros on your breath over the phone. Hellllllo- did you use up that crate of Listerine i bought ya for your b-day awready?

Zeus: Don't get smarty-pants with me, dite's afho.

Me: That's af"ro", you dirty ole man- speakin of which, i saw you and that li'l French number down at the soda shop on earth. You gotta be at least 2.5 million wrinkles older than that schoolgirl, eh pops?

Zeus: I didn't call to trade bards with you, I-

Me: Trade bards? Like Gabby? What is it with you and Hera trading bards?

Zeus: I meant barbs and you know it. Speaking of which, that's why I called. I hear you and Asklepios helped save the life of the aforementioned bard. Care to comment?

Me: Oh that musta been a-

Zeus- ditebot, hmmm? No, I won't accept that. I can tell when you're lying.

Me: Awrights awready. I helped save the bard but the ditebots helped me sew her head back on.

Zeus: HA HA HA HA HEE HA! You! Sew! HA HA HA HAR HEE HA!

Me: Hey pops, i have many swills um stills er skills...i think.

Zeus: Look, I don't like Asklepios and I do not like the idea of you getting Asklepios to help you patch up a mortal. Are we clear on this?

Me: Clear as the void where Ares used to stand before you and/or Hera had him killed.

(Go me, aren't I a tough one talkin back to a parental unit!)

Zeus: Do not accuse me of things of which you know nothing about nor are entitled to know anything about. AND don't interupt now with some remark about your right to know about your brother or I'll wisk you back to your childhood. Understand?

Me: Goo goo, ga ga.

Zeus: *sigh* My smart alleck offsprin-

Me: My mean old nasty cradle-robbin bro-killin pop...

Zeus: Have it your way. Ally with Asklepios again and he will be struck down with a Zeus Special lightning bol-

Me: OOOOoooo does the powerful god king fear da wittle doctor god!

Zeus: -and you will be stranded on earth...powerless...wrinkled...smelly.

Me: (quickly) Asklepios? Never heard of da guy!

Zeus: Very good. Plan to attend brunch tomorrow as it will show the rest of Olympus how you have favored Hera & myself with a visit during these stressful times.

Me: Whatever. Be sure to change your underwear this time cuz dude you stunk last visi-

*click!*

Me: He hung up on me! Why i oughta! *hmmmmph*

hmmm... just recalled that Asklepios is a doctor god. doctor = dr. Could he be the "dr" mystery person forseeing stuff? Hmmm...