Poor baby Cupid has lost his arrows. *snicker* So this I was told, then i heard him cryin out "mama, mama, what me to do nowsy?". Well that's what ya get for getting too close to dark haired mortals with dangerous breasts, sonny.


Work your way outta this one, Cupidity Do-Da, and perhaps I'll cut the strings on W for you. Just make revenge sweet.


So i spent a couple hours fending off Alti. She doesn't think much about me when i'm not around, i guess her black heart still can't accept love. Her evil immune system is battling day & night against the virus of love.



Pity. A dite-bot & I (OOOO Alti was drooling at the sight of two of us) did a li'l make-over on Alti.



Before-







Okay, so I alti-ered the Alti pic by removing the green warts, the humongously hairy moles and the pepperoni slices of acne from her face and adding in some teeth.



We drank some awesome wine with Alti- who can't hold her wine, lemme tell ya- and while unconscious, the dite-bot & I did this li'l number on her-



After-






Alti-awesomeville, eh?

The shamaness ain't woke up yet, so i dunno how she'll react to the new her. Will she join the peace & love brigade?- heck, she can lead it if she wants! Or will this send her black heart spiraling back into action, which means I'll be so yesterday's Daily Scroll newsbit to her?

quote:

---

Originally posted by dite's afro:
Poor baby Cupid has lost his arrows. *snicker* So this I was told, then i heard him cryin out "mama, mama, what me to do nowsy?". Well that's what ya get for getting too close to dark haired mortals with dangerous breasts, sonny.

Work your way outta this one, Cupidity Do-Da, and perhaps I'll cut the strings on W for you. Just make revenge sweet.

So i spent a couple hours fending off Alti. She doesn't think much about me when i'm not around, i guess her black heart still can't accept love. Her evil immune system is battling day & night against the virus of love.

Pity. A dite-bot & I (OOOO Alti was drooling at the sight of two of us) did a li'l make-over on Alti.

Before-





Okay, so I alti-ered the Alti pic by removing the green warts, the humongously hairy moles and the pepperoni slices of acne from her face and adding in some teeth.


We drank some awesome wine with Alti- who can't hold her wine, lemme tell ya- and while unconscious, the dite-bot & I did this li'l number on her-


After-





Alti-awesomeville, eh?

The shamaness ain't woke up yet, so i dunno how she'll react to the new her. Will she join the peace & love brigade?- heck, she can lead it if she wants! Or will this send her black heart spiraling back into action, which means I'll be so yesterday's Daily Scroll newsbit to her?

---

Waitsaminute... me thinks this was all a dream. *twirls blonde curls in dire confuzzlement*

dite starting to not tell dreams from wakey-wakey. dite 'members so little anyway. NO, i forget to get dressed today- gawd! Um, no, i have clothes on. EEEEEEEEEEEE! but they're- oh my goshies- they're so not pink! EEEEEEEEEEEE!

Why do i have chewed bubblegum for a brain? Must call 911 for mental help. But there's no 11 button on the phone. Ohhhh!

na na na na get happy na na na na na

oh, whooo, what a busy day it was. Had to turn in my happiness via song & dance powers. What a blast it was though! Livs is such a great singer & dancer! But all that's ancient history by now. But at least for a day...

Hades Mom, and ya didn't even teach her the Andrew Lloyd Webber songs yet!
"Think of me...
Think of me fondly..
When we said Good bye...
Remember me...
Once in awhile
Please promise me you'll try!"

EEEK, that stuff's getting to me too now! 'Squeeze me while I go put on that 21st century cd....gotta lurve the opera!
Later gator!

Could this day be any slower, puh-leeeze? Major yawnfest. Big comedown after the dance fest with Livs which no one seems to recall. They never do remember the good stuff, only the times they make fun of me. Like, that time someone gave me a big bag of M&M's and asked me to alphabetize them. I mean, i sorted and sorted tryin to get 'em in order, still dun know what went wrong.

Anyhoots, i'm in another bored-with-mortals mood. For the next few days, the dite-bots will be filling in for me. They can whooshy on down to earth and dazzle people. Moi? Me is gonna hang with the fireflies & do my funky god thing in Africa and then-

Then i have- ta da!- a new god gig. I am now the new Deity of Kittens Who Need Good Homes! Gotta mew for me! I even cancelled my appearance at the first annual deities of love convention so I could be on my newest job sooner. But i'm sending a dite-bot in my place.

So now dite has 4 godly assignments- love, fireflies, afro funky music and homeless kitties. Hope my afro can stay nice-n-fluffy for my busy schedule.

Cupid, don't be a stoopid, if you go to this deity luv con, keep your paws off the married goddesses or else- or else i will clip your wings- 4EvUh! Remember there will be love deities from dozens and dozens of realms so behave!

All is going so well with the peace & love brigade. Draco seemed disappointed there was no big shown down with legions of Dahok. Exsqueeze me! Bruises from fisties do not a pretty face make.

I'm outta here. All my entries here to be written to by my bestest bot til i get back.

YYY

dite-bot numero uno, aka the Loveinator, now reporting.

Reminders to Cupid from dite's afro- 1) watch over your arrows at all times 2) put spell over arrow case to keep pesky mortals from stealing arrows 3) do not be a super-hero to mortals in distress, it is not your assigment [dite-bot numero uno's comment on this reminder- do not trust any mortal warrior women or any non blondes] and 4) remember that you have different color arrows for different kinds of love- not just romantic love- and that some powerful mortals may be better changed if the right kind of love is brought forth. Oh yes, 5) scrub behind your ears, your getting wing flakes crusting up back there.

No one has written questions for dite's afro. This being the case, dite-bot numero uno will now sign out until tomorrow.

MMMMmmm my own chocolates.



Must hide from Cupid!

Let silly Xena/Alti/Livia (all mortals look alike, don't they!) fight over silly souls & chakrams. Phhhft! Chocolate- now that's worth scuffling for!

What a weird dream- Livia & Zeus were giving me a lobotomy! They had to shave the afro to operate- as if!

Later, I was on earth, sorting through gifts & love requests at one of my temples. Guess who came stumblin' in, calling me "Gabrielle"? Xena, the doppleganger. I think this version of Xena musta slipped through the astral cracks when some mortal somewhere was time travelling. Maybe this Xena needs a thump to the head to get herself right. What would she do if she had her wits back? Ack, too many Xenas and not enough dites!

Trying to find the words to express my shock and anger over the death of dite's afro. How could Zeus not have recognized the shape of his own daughter in the doorway? Yes, his own daughter. Do not believe for an instance that myth about the sea foam. dite is- was- the daughter of Zeus and Dione. I consoled Dione tonight, probably the easiest task I did tonight. What is happening in Olympus? I know that someone has been rifling through my home here- why? Hades believes that Apollo wants to take command of Olympus. I just hate the thought of an uprising. The gods are concerned that Zeus & Hera have stirred up too much trouble on earth and that this death tonight is the first casusalty of their interfering with messed up mortals like Xena and Alti, as well as with that lunatic false-god, Dahok. Some palace supporters want the blame shifted to Alti on the belief that she somehow cloaked dite to Zeus' mind, making him see her as an intruder. Nonesense, I say. I know my brother Zeus well enough to know that if anything has been cloaked, it's his sanity- and the root of this lies here in Olympus not on earth. What does Hera gain by dite's death? Hmmm, perhaps we should look into that!

Must hope that Cupid doesn't do anything rash (as if, as dite liked to remark). The "dite-bots" are all silent. Strange, that. I expected hyper-irrational behaviour from them. No, they can't be behind this is any way. Can they?

Demeter

Memo from the office of Apollo:

I would like to take this time to dismiss the rumors that I, Apollo, have any intention of taking command of Olympus or supporting anyone who would try to usurp the throne from Zeus. I completely support Zeus in his role as king of the Olympians.

My support of Zeus is so strong that I refuse to believe he had a part in the death of dite's afro. I do not believe she died by the lightning bolts of Zeus but by special exploding arrows from Athena and her archers. Zeus' chamber entrance was so darkened that anyone could have hide in the shadows and shot dite with firebolt arrows. Zeus doesn't recall setting the bolts upon his daughter, perhaps he never did.

Athena has openly criticized dite before, Athena has disdain for dite's lifesytle and believed there was no need for any deities of love in Olympus.

Why does Athena need a private army of archers? There has never been a threat in Olympus from within. We do have problems now, mistrust is rampant. This is a problem I am looking into. But it must wait until a commission has investigated the death of dite's afro completely.

The temple is closed for mourning of Freyia.

Back home again. Feels strange being back after all that's happened. Cupie whoopie gotta be a sad puppy cuz Bella was sent to earth & he was busted by 'pollo, now he's gotta sign in & out like a hired hand. That young 'un was always a rebel rouser. He's lucky he hasn't had his wings clipped or his mr happy cut off! EEEEEEE!

Speakin of mr happy, Zeus sure got the hots for Hera after them two beat the life outta Cara's l'il chap. Wonder if there'll be the pidder padder of new god feet in the palace. Hera can still pop 'em out if she wants to.

Speakin of new feet in the palace, ain't it swell that pop & Hera took in a puppy they named Heidi? I can just see Zeusy passing Heidi some ambrosia steak cuts under the dinner table.
Do we have a veternarian god up here? Maybe it's time for one. That'd be a job for Cupid if he gets grounded for good- and he's headin in that direction.

So i whoosh to earth to check on Draco & the others. I find out that there's been some natural disasters round India and Africa and that Mavican has organized the peace & love brigades to go there and help people. That's so unlike who she used to be. Gotta love her! So i'm think, 'd, how aboot askin Odin if a Greek lady can be the new Norse goddess of love?' I think he'll go for it. I know he'll go for her when he sees her. Then there's Draco. He's gonna wanna be wherever Mavy is, so i'm thinkin, 'd, how aboot Draco as the Norse god of war & wealth? Would Odin dig that jive?' I'll ask him. Odie likes a new perspective on stuff, which is what he'd get from Mavy & Drac. Only bad thing from all this- if Mavy becomes a goddess, her boobs won't ever sag. *green-envy green*

I tell ya, that Thor is a mighty bore. Like me, he sometimes journeys into the future. Well, he was havin these hissy fits about The Mighty Thor comic in the future. He was whining about the changes they made to his character and how he's no longer in the Avengers. Gimme a break, hammer head. You think that's bad- you oughta see how they have me portrayed on that silly tv show about Xena. They have me as blonde bimbo who can't walk & chew gum at the same time. As iffers! Walking and chewing gum at the same time is EZ. It's walkin & talkin at the same time that me no can do.

YYY

La la la whooshing back in for awhile before a couple days away on my other deity duties, ya know the African gig & the firefly follies. Trying to teach the firebgggies some cool dances where they light on at the right moment to spell words and stuff. Shame on me, i know.

Dunno what's up on earth or with Cupie, the whooshie thing is slow loading, so i'm heading off to my own gigs after here.

Odin says Mavy is okay to be the next diety of love providing she changes her name to Freyia. That didn't sit well with Mavy. Mavy's on the destiny kick, she says, 'how's anyone gonna know it's me if I can't be called Mavican?' So Odin says yada wada ever, if Mavy changes her name to Freyia Mavyia, then it's ok, to which Mavy agreed.

Still negotating on Draco. He dun care bout his name. He wants to bring some of his buds with him that he's rode with for 10 years or more. Odie says they can join the Norse army though Draco wants them higher up the ladder. Thor was might sore about that so we're still negotating.

Draco & Mavy will be replaced in the peace & love brigade by- Vercinix & Mendala yay! Vercy agreed not to say anything bout the Livia dance thing. I promised Vercy I wouldn't tell anyone how he wet himself in the Roman coliseum floor.

Ugh, Apollo now wants to create a Homeland Security godship. Hu-llo paranoia! He wants all us deities to wear badges with our pics on 'em along with our pawprints. Then he wants our powers to be registered and scannable through a power detector...just in case some alien god thing tries to off us up here. Me thinks his mind is still clouded over.

YYY

Like YEOW! Talk about major head rush. All this thinking and shifting of the paradigms is really making my cutesy wootsy head hurt!

Oooh, I used a five dinar word, paradigm. Like who knew this whole 'live among the mortals' gig would make me all smart and everything?

I mean, is the world ready? Sexy, beautiful AND intelligent? Whoa! Methinks maybe not but I'll show 'em. Beauty and brains, killer combo.

Now I gotta have a nap. All this deep thinking makes my beautiful brain hurt!

Ahhh, it's amazing what a little beauty nap will do for you.

Mmmm, stretching is sinfully good too! I am way too cute for my own good. I just noticed that. Hm. I wonder how things are going down on Earth.

Maybe I need to pop down and keep up the morale. Hip hip hooray, Aphrodite is gay! I mean, happy! Yeah, go me! Woo!

Okay, now that I've done my morning peppyness routine, it's off to do some good! Man, I so rock!

I was thinking (big surprise huh?) and was like totally reminiscing about the coolness of Lao Ma. I mean, for a babe who's all mystical and learned and junk, she was a cutie! And oooh, did she have magic hands or what?

Like I totally get what ol' tall blue eyed and leather gal Xena saw in her. Mmm, those massages were yummy. Who knews gods and goddesses could get kinks in their shoulders?

A few minutes of Lao's expert hands and I was ready to divorce ol' Hephaesty and let her be my love partner in crime. Yowza! She said I had perfect muscles in my shoulders and back. Well duh babe, I AM the goddess of love, perfection deified. Mmmm, I wish I could back and see her, I am feeling all tense and icky over everything that's happening around here.

Hmmm, I wonder if I can convince Hephaesty to gimme a massage. Oh I know it totally won't be as good as Lao Ma's but still, I so need to be stress free.

Whoa! Like total newsflash! That sneaky little hussy Bella slipped that chakram piece on me somehow. Maybe that's why I've been so stressed lately and wanting to be back in Lao Ma Land.

Hmm, looks like the Warrior Babe knew all along. Hmph, took her long enough to get here. I shoulda been first on her list, what with me being the goddess of love and all! I am a priority, y'know.

What does it all mean? I wonder and whoa, where did I suddenly get morph powers from? Wicked! Love conquers all babycakes!

My son Cupid...is dead. He fell on his own arrows. I always believed those stupid arrows would be the death of him. When he was young, I tried to get him to use gold shimmery arrows, but no, he was so impressed by the real arrows that Athena & Artemis use. I suggested a chakram-like fuzzy ball that'd always return to him but no, it had to be those stupid arrows.

I've asked my son, Anteros, to take care of the funeral arrangements. I know Bliss is bound to a tree, I have no intentions of setting him free. He would just go on a rampage, believing that he needs to punish someone for his dad's accidental death. No, I'll have Cupid buried near that tree. If Bliss is to mellow out and not turn out like his father, he needs to be taught a lesson. Perhaps the sight of his dad's grave so close to where he's bound will do the trick.

Cupid was not happy with my moving here to earth. I've been here several days and hadn't seen him since I left Olympus last Thursday. I heard from Demeter that he'd plan to "disown" me for no longer being the deity of love. I never understood the source of his unhappiness or rebellion. Damn, I should have taken his powers away years ago & made him live on earth. But he followed his path and death is where it lead him. Would Lao Ma have had any affect on him? I'd like to think so. But he was not one to seek help or even believe he needed it.

Had meant to comment on all that's happened lately but with Cupie's death... Til later.

We buried what was left of Cupie near the tree on which Bliss is bound. Bliss screamed and shouted to be set free but i cannot allow that to happen. Hopefully he learns from this and someday he can maybe- maybe- take over as deity of love. Doubtful, though.

I'm accepting all this with a lotsa calm, dontcha think? Gods have to responsible too. If Cupid had been human with his attitude and wild side, he'd never have seen his 23rd birthday, i reckon. It's not like his soul isn't somewhere I can't visit. Though visiting the dead more than a couple times gets one way weirded out. I think it's that stinky underworld smell. Ick. No matter if it's it the Elysian Fields. It's like visiting a memory you're having for the first time and getting creeped out when you later recall that memory. Guess that's why most people who can visit the underworld rarely do.

I felt Cupie passing at the exact moment there was a loud explosion when Xena's chakram was all aglow. I had to leave to see what was up with Cupie. Haven't been back to check on Xena. Jeeps, if she's dead, if she's disappeared... I best get back soon and check.

Odd how that glowing chakram thingie looked familiar...

Xena disappeared at the same time of explosion which was the same time I had to whoosh away as Cupid had passed. Livia has the chakram and is heading back to Rome. Can't say that i wouldn't do the same in her place, especially if i couldn't whoosh everywhere i thought Xena might be. Not a fricken clue where Xena is, just that odd sensation that the glowing chakram is a clue. Something or somebody that maybe Ares dealt with...maybe.

Iolaus hasn't made any definate plans yet. Poor guy's looking like I felt before the Lao Ma thingie. I know he's got plans, I can hear them wheels movin in his curly head but he's probably just weighing options or something.

Me, if they want me to help find Xena, count me in. Shocker, eh? But no, i haven't used many powers since movin to earth last week. Just the whooshing to the palace and back. Long as no one asks me to do anything against my nature & dietyhood.

With Cupie gone and Bliss bound to that tree and me resigned from the love biz, I've traded dieties with Eirene, who's the deity of peace & contentment. Olympian musical chairs yikes.

Still moving in this new home. Not sure what to do with dite-bots. Yep, still have my moonlighting jobs, won't let them go.

Ah well.

Where is Curly? That Iolaus. Sheeesh. One minute he's all for searching for Xena, then the next, he heads back to where we last saw the warrior babe. Hope he gets back soon. Dun know if i'd have to build a cage and put Livy in it, in case she runs off again.

I know I know- yesterday I was cool with Livy headin home, it's her life. But there's unfinished business between her & her ma i reckon and hey, someone's gotta nudge 'em in the right direction. That's me. If it don't work out when they get back togather- provided they do- I shan't butt in again. I promise that- cross my heart and hope to never use my credit dinar card again.

Curly was talkin about how Livia's the Champion of Rome. I was so confused. I thought she was the Carpenter of Rome. Good thing i didn't ask her to tar my roof, she mighta misunderstood me.

But then again *pouts* Livy still thinks I'm goddess of love. That's so yesterday's news that I dropped the love biz. But then again, she probably doesn't subscribe to the Olympian paper, The Daily Scroll.

Ya know, I knows Xena & Livy don't think much of gods and they have that right. I sometimes wish they could see through the silly front I put up. I do act ditzy on purpose a lot so that they trust me more. If I was too serious, lotta mortals would think 'oh dite's got a secret agenda, better not trust her. Better not accept her as a friend, just a god.' Am I a victim of deity discrimination? Oh, deep thought, hurt me head, need chocolate. Classic Aphrodite/dite's fro. Gotta love me. Also gotta need me, 'k?

Livia is dead.

Had to take a few days off cuz yet another death. It was Mars who whooshed Xena somewhere during the explosion. Curly figured it out when he found a medallion of Mars back at the rock where the chakram had been reassembled. Mars took Curly away as well. When Iolaus didn't return to where we were supposed to meet up, Livia & I waited a bit then headed back to the original camp. She saw the extra set of footprints. Curly had dropped the medallion- smart boy- and i just followed the some remaining strands of Mars' last whoosh (this tells me that ole Marsy is one ill dude, as a healthy god's whooshes are long gone seconds after they disappear).

Mars killed Livia.

I should've left her at the camp & followed Marsy myself. Cyrene, Xena's mom, was there at Mars' camp. He was holding her prisoner, I guess to make some sorta deal or trade with Xena, i dunno. Cyrene told me Mars woulda went after Livia for the chakram wherever she was. Well, maybe so. But it doesn't mean she would have been killed.

Darnitt all to heck, i shoulda seen it comin. The whole point of bringing Livia back was for her to help find Xena. Interference from the gods- thing she hated most- got her killed. Phooey on me.

Curly believes Mars would never have let Cyrene go. He woulda killed her. So is the trade-off supposed to make me feel better? Livia for Cyrene?

His own priests believe he is insane. Big totally fer sure there. And that he Mars is losing his powers. That explains how Xena beat him. Mars probably let the Twilight thing and his doubting his own self bring about his loss of powers. Doesn't matter that he's a Roman god. The Twilight, loss of self-belief can affect any god of any pantheon.

This lack of belief in himself is what drove Marsy wacko. It's the same thing that was killing me a few weeks ago, before Ms Lao Ma popped in on the scene.

Curly didn't want me to follow him. He says the warrior babe will be so riled up over Livia's death (if she knows about it) to defeat Mars. But how's she gonna do that? She's gotta get that chakram thingie away from him and destroy him. He won't stop comin after her less she do.

I think Iolausie may try to crash the ritual where the split chakram is undone and made to give Mars more power. Hope he's careful. Mars knows who he is. I bet he was gonna kill him first as proof he'd kill Cyrene, had that plan not been stopped.

RIP Livia, twas nice dancin with ya. Me, i gotta get my new life here on earth sorted out. But i'm gonna keep an eye on what's up with Curly and Xena. See what the lowdown is on that stupid poophead insane god Mars. I wonder what pop & Hera think about Mars going wackoville?

Who is Dyé:s Pté:r? I can't even pronounce that silly name thingie!

Heard some stuff tonite. Pop & Hera. Overheard 'em talkin.

Wish I could talk to Demeter or Lao Ma bout this. So confused. Didn't realize it all could been set in motion long ago. That it had to happen.

Pop thinks I didn't overhear. Or does he? They ALWAYS close the throne room door when they don't want anyone not to listen in. The door was open.

Then I guess i'm offies now. Stuff to do. Backies later.

Sitting, waiting. It didn't sink in when i first heard pop & Hera talk out it.

It's what i've really been waiting for.

They've entrusted me with so much. My biggest test. I can't do the deed myself but i have to make sure- oh i wish i had chocolate now.

I have to be careful. More than I've ever been.
Lao Ma taught me to believe in myself and i do.

I'm not your daddy's dite, Mars!

New world or- no, can't think of that.

I'm here, i'm ready, i hope i can do something useful to help.