{{{{{{{{{{{{{Dite}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

FYI-There is something you need to know about yourself! Go to this page and scroll down to the last entry. I suppose you will know how this information can help you in your dealings with the gods of this age.

You also might be interested to know that I am Asclepios. Though I came through the god Zeus, I am actually not his son, but the son of his favored son Apollo who loved and declared the truth about the will of Zeus to men!

Thanks for letting me help you bring my child back to the world. I hope we can work together again for good.

FYI- There is something you need to know about yourself, Eli. You're a stinky-poo! You think i don't know about Uranos or Ouranos or somebody's anos? You know, I was teased as a child, called "foam head" or "foamy-bite-me". Teased about Ouranos and his fate. And he wasn't just wounded, i heard he was castrated & his genitals tossed into the sea, that's where the blood came from (so i was told & teased). So thank you very much oh wandering wise guy for bringing up painful memories Neerrrrr!

As for Zeus- what the myth books won't tell ya is this- he got sick & tired of my whining & cryin from being teased that he adopted me. Wasn't that nice of him? 'Course in my early years I had to wash & scrub the palace floors every day but still I lived in the palace and can call Zeus daddy until it's my turn to be beheaded or something.

"You also might be interested to know that I am Asclepios. Though I came through the god Zeus, I am actually not his son, but the son of his favored son Apollo who loved and declared the truth about the will of Zeus to men!"

*sigh* I so do not want to hear this! Papa told me not to ally with Asklepios so *in pig latin that Zeus despises* ancay ethay alktay aboutway eingbay Asklepiosway orway Euszay illway illkay ouyay andway akemay emay ortalmay andway inkystay!

Besides, the aslyums of Greece are filled with mortals claiming to be gods or offspring of Xena. So if it's true who you claim you are- we can't be seen talking, if not true, pop said nothing against being an ally of Eli. So, nitey nite, Eli.

I always say that poems & haiku & odes are so cool. I wrote some about some people i know. I will share them.

Livia

The Xena offspring
Livvy! Eve! Mavis! oh my!
Makes my mind shimmer

Minya

talky action babe
seeks- blueberry ambrosia,
friend to party hard!

Joxer

I am the mighty
love Gabby Meg & Minya
furious zug-zug!

Xena

I have many skills
but there's one skill i don't have
shopping with dite!

Ephiny

The amazon queen
what is her famed legacy?
amazon dot com

Caesar

So this is my fate-
Julius Caesar of Rome!
I gotta love me!

Eli

Please follow my way
My way is the only path
hey, don't turn from me!

Amarice

All earth be my tribe
All I need is to be me
That, and a bath house

Callisto

Oh how sweet of you!
A haiku about cute me!
Shove it up your rear!

Alti

Filth muck pee turd snot
blood guts dead puppy dog soup
nice garage sale finds

ok, haiku is not my forte! Maybe someone will do me. Hey! I meant do me as in a haiku about me. You pervs!

Dite

I have an afro
I have big boobs too you know
I have- whatever!

Dite

I love good shopping
My favourite is gods r us
The slutty section

Dite

Black is the new pink
Hera's wardrobe has so much
I need to raid it

Dite

If you talk a lot
People think you're kinda dumb
Mental note to self

Yeah! Hera & Minya did me! They did me! I forgot
Hera & Zeus.

Hera

Dark and stormy night
Palace staff heard the soft cries
I was goosed by Zeus

Hera

No matter my age
eons pass, still I will be
younger than gabris

Hera

Joxer's radish stew
makes me fart, belch and vomit
Can I have some more?

Zeus

Thinks he's Tony Quinn
Chasing all them young hot chicks
Making Hera mad!

Zeus & Hera

Daddy, nice lady
would not kill wittle dite
over a silly Race!

Random notes, rants & stuffage

Yesterday i whooshed down to Poteidaia to check on Gabby. She looked much better though she kept scratching at where her head had once been severed. Not suppposed to scratch that til it's healed, pumpkin!

...

Earth solstice holiday is approaching. I always enjoy this time of year. I spend time in orphanages reading love stories, passing out chocolate kisses and letting the kids decorate my afro. Wish i could bring all the orphaned kids to Olympus with me. The kids would have a good safe home & the gods' lives needs to be lightened up. It'd be a good change for all. Plus i'd bring loads of kitties & puppy dogs. Personally i think Hera & Zeus need some some cute earth pets & kids to look after. Might just melt some of their icey personality. *looks left & right for godly lightning bolts*

...

"dr" The person who sent me cyrptic message and seemed concerned about me was Demeter. I think she's worried bout me cuz of what happened to Ares. Plus she's the motherly type who worries about all us Olympians, especially after the abduction of Persephone, way back when. I told her not to fret about the afro. Then she started fretting that my afro would collapse over my eyes and I'd fall on a lightning bolt! Well, that'd be mighty blonde of me. I'm pretty sure Demeter gave me a good recommendation for my job as Firefly Species #135 Spirit. I thanked her for that & am looking forward to getting out of Olympus to spend time among the lightning bugs. I'm bringing along some funky cd's from my job as Fela God of Funky Rhythms. What a trip for the fireflies to dance, bounce & light up the nite skies to the sounds of Fela Kuti, Tony Allen, Antibalas and other groovy afro-funk artists!

...

Caesar wondered why I didn't get Ares head put back on, as compared with Gabby. Minya pondered about my interest in the earth gang, why i wasn't more interest and there to protect Gabby.

Mins- I am interested in my earthly friends. But i can't be the Mighty Mouse god, always there to save the day. You and our pals gotta start looking to each other for strength. "Ask not what the gods can do for the mortals, ask what the mortals can do for the mortals" hmmm. Although, some nice presents at one of the dite's afro temples (open 24/7) will catch my eye & have it a wittle more focused on the gift giver.

Caesy- Though I hated seeing Ares die, i could read The Seal of Fated Death on his aura. Something that wasn't on written on Gabby's. So there was an opportunity to save her. Anyhoo. the gods aren't meant to be repair people on the assemblyline of broken mortals & broken gods. Depending on what your final fate is, perhaps you could be a surgeon or start your own hospice. What'd being emperor ever do for ya 'cept get ya back-stabbed, hmmm?
...

I love you Dite-
I hope you get immunity (if I don't )

Whooshed over to Olymp-Mart and returned some soltice gifts-
.a pair of comfy, eternally durable leather boots for a travelling bard
.a coupon for a Calvenous Kleinous Amazon outfit of her choice for an amazon of any tribe

quote:

---

Originally posted by Eli:
I love you Dite-
I hope you get immunity (if I don't )

---

*dite sings*

"C'mon people, now
smile on your brother,
ev'ry-body get together,
try to love one another right now."

Lookie what Joxer gave me fer Solstice-



it's a wittle kitty witty snooksum! ahhhhhhh!

My black cat will just love a companion.

Yadda yadda yadda, i hope Xena reads or has someone read that scroll for her. Does she still have those chains that Hephie made for her? I kept thinkin Xena would revert to evil Xena after Gabby was killed. She seems almost too calm. Should i look for pods in the basement?

*dite sings*

"...On the twelfth day of Christmas
my true love gave to me
12 Minyas rum-drinking
11 Eli heads-rolling
10 Altis a-scheming
9 Livias a-screaming
8 Zeus' he's the dada
7 Hera's a-jealous
6 Joxer's a-mighty
5 amazons named Ephiny
4 Caesar salads
3 lookalike Xenas
2 many dead Racers
and an afro atop a dancin nekked gabbieeeeee!"

Today's chores-

1. Knit a Solstice cap for Eli's head

2. Whoosh in & swipe Eli's head if Alti sets it
atop a snowman

3. Have my minions build a home for Minya.
Wonder where Mins wants her fam located?

4. Are Livia & Caesar both trying to lead Rome?
Find out. Could there be a romance here?
Find out. If no romance, should i interfere
and create one? Find out.

5. Talk Zeus into that idea of mine about the
sled & the reindeer & giving gifts to mortals
to improve our image with them.

6. Tell Joxer not to eat the yellow snow,
groady!

While tiding up a temple today, there was a totally noisey ruckus comin from the building next door. I headed on over to shush them and what did i find: it was a bunch a smelly barbarian types partying hearty at one of my dead bro's now vacant temples. The temple was a bigger mess than when Ares was alive.

Barbarian spit all over the place. Barbarian sheddings all over Ares' throne of skulls. Pizza crusts and forms of goo that gaged me with a major spoon.

I whoosed the temple crashers off to the caves. What to do with Ares empty temples? Hmmmm? And me needing more space? Hmmm? *lightbulb over dim head* I got it! I'll expand my stuff into dead bro's unused temple placies!

Then comes double lightbulbs over my head. Why not start a love & peace brigade. Doin good things. Helpin people out, creating hospices, delivering packages when they absolutely positively have to be there overnight, rescuing people who need saved, yyy (that's yadda yadda yadda).

So i says to myself, "gorgeous, who ya gonna pick to run your love brigade thingie?" Well, why not that dude who was sweet on Gabby after Cupid shot him with the arrow. Draco. And the big boobed warrior lady Xena left danglin from a vine somewhere somewhen. Mavican. I have ideas on how to get these two to work togather. I just need a lotta chocolate to get more lighbulbs to light up them ideas. A lotta lotta chocolate. MMMMmmmm.

I did so much thinkin today that my head hurts & i'm feeling dizzy. I'll leave things at this til after OPS (Olympian Parcel Service) brings me my chocolate.

yyy

The Temple is closed for Solstice.

But do leave gifts & stuff on the doorstep.

yyy

I awoke with a jerk. Hmmm, alone again tonite.

My moonlighting as other deities has *yawn* worm me out. I gotta check in on Draco & Mavican...jeeps, am i gettin wired like Ares was?

Wait'll Xena, Minya & Joxer get a load of Draco & Mavy working for the greater good. ha! Wait til Jox meets Mavy- one look at her chest and he'll just die!

Some knock knock jokes.

Knock knock
Who's there?
Alti
Alti who?
Alti and no rum is no fun!

Knock knock
Who's there?
Minya
Minya who?
Minya fixed up with the wrong women, ya stoopid deity!

Knock knock
Who's there?
Livia
Livia who?
Livia me alone, i ain't Eve!

Knock knock
Who's there?
Xena
Xena who?
Xena lot of stoopid dite posts recently!

Knock knock
Who's there?
Zeus
Zeus who?
Zeusy Miss Lucy- Lawless, that is!


Knock knock
Who's there?
Hera
Hera who?
Her-a that kick you butt if you don't let me in!

Knock knock
Who's there?
Eli
Eli who?
Eli's best who lie's last, eh Dahok!?!?

Knock knock
Who's there?
xc
xc who?
xcy dite who's all boobs & no brains!

chocolate, oh chocolate, save poor wittle dite's afro who was much too serious today.

Joxer's funeral. I decided to be seen. Hate funerals, even if i get to dress in black.

Alti schmalti. Gag that woman smells, like wet possum or something. Why why why didn't she split to her pad after she read the Lachesis scroll? No wonder she hasn't gotten far in life! I don't think she'll kill Xena, I believe her plan lies in killing either Zeus or Duh-hok or both. Well, slim chances on offing my daddy now, hag!

Awwww! My kitty, Joxster, the one that Joxer gave me for Solstice, is lapping up some milk ambrosia. Gonna have a lot more than 9 lives now, sweet-ums!

Anyhoo, back to Duh-hok. I squeezed some info from Lachesis on the dude. Lachesis is the one who told me an army of peace & love mortals led by a "special" mortal can defeat Dahok. Defeat Dahok, Alti, Hope, and um, any Olympian who gets in the way. So, i wonder who that "special" mortal is- Xena? Eli? Minya? Livia if she changes her arse to Eve? Or someone else? Poop, this makes my headsy hurt & i needs more chocolate.

Cupid only used a little love arrow for Draco tee-hee. Guess the dude was falling for Mavy on his own. He's been such a wuss that way ever since his Gabby days.

Speakin of the Gabby, i had Draco send a warrior type to keep an eye on Minya's camp & espeshy dat crazed offspring. Eli best not get too trustful of her. I do have my own wittle plans here but sssshhhh someone might read this sssshhhhh.

Lemme see: tomorrow:

.gotta gather some funk cds for the African gig

.chaperone a din din between the fireflies & some grasshoppers in that spirit world

.meet with Darnelle & Glaphyra and see how they're doin in southern Greece. Is it wrong of me to pick cute couples to lead the peace & love armies?

.buy more chocolate, lots more

Yay! Found out today that Freya, Norse Deity of Love, will visit me soon. Best clean the place up!

Draco's pal who's watching Minya & co. for me says he thinks they're either heading towards Rome or towards Kingie Gregor's kingdom. I tried looking this up on on my Randus MacNallyus map but ya know me, i'm all blonde when it comes to maps.

Why do mortals make such a big deal about new years eve and new years day? Sheesh, an Olympian year is equal to nearly 750 or so mortal years. Plus, i keep getting these silly requests for mistletoe these last few days of the mortal year. Exsqueeze me, i just totally don't find a piece of shrub romantic. Chocolates- that and some nice poetry. That's what them mortals need.

Seems someone's been trying to take over one of Ares Temples- and me thinks me knows who. Gonna have to put a stop to that.

Mortals and their new years eve...Hower- Mins ex-squeeze- made an offering at one of my Temps begging me to bring her back. As iffage! Hower was moanin bout having no new years eve date. Big deal. What about the rest of the year's eves, ya dummy? Hower needs more help than i deal with.

Nice of Hera to cast Hope somewhere away from harming people. Gotta keep my fingers crossed that no idiot finds her & frees her from wherever she is. Will Dahok do the dirty to another unwilling lass who hasn't shed blood? Only time will tell.

Not sure if i'll drop in on Gregor's contest thing. Not my idea of fun. Freya's gonna be here soon and we're talkin about holding the first deities of love convention! OOOooooo gotta love us!

Meanwhile, it's the weekend, and that means doin the funky rhythm in Africa. Found some great Afro-funk jazz rhythms music in the *cough*future*cough* by Tunde William and Lekan Animashaun. Hmmmm... i bet this stuff would be peachy at Kingy Greg's contest & festival. But naaaaaa, i best not mix stuff from the *cough*future*cough* in with ancient Greece. Who knows what'd happen if they traced cd's & stereo's back to that time.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: xenacrazed,

So many mortals come-n-go, it's hard gettin close to them when i know their individual lifespan is like a day in my life.

Gonna miss Mins. I hope she went with a smile cuz she went with a bang and not a whimper. Good golly, had I known she'd be in a hot-tub with papa, I'd have told her she'd end up more fried than Gareth! I hope Mins at least enjoys the Blueberry Fields cottage & the rum well and seeing Joxster again. I hear he's come up with 17 new variations on his theme song since dying.


Wonder where Mins' offspring is now, hmmmm? Maybe i should let her know what's happened, just hope she's not as cranky as Hope was.

Tomorrow Pauly & I will bury Min's remains. Me thinks Pauly's had enough of hanging with warrior crowd. I can whoosh her to Athens if she wants. She did mumble something about starting a play about Minya- "Minya Warrior Woman".

Poor Eli, though he's in his Heaven now, so I suppose he's content. Already his followers are discounting the hot-tub thingie & are claiming Zeus, Hera, Alti & Dahok killed him for fun. As if! Hera wouldn't work with Alti 'less she took a bath first! But the good news is that Indrajit has turned back home, so he won't be harming anyone. The weird news is that someone stole Eli's eyes. Groady! Rumor has it that them eyes can destroy just about anything evil. Hmmmm...

So now with Mins, Gabs, & Eli gone, the peace & love stuff is all on my wittle shoulders. Waaaaa! I am pleased with what Dracy, Mavy, Glaphy & Darny are doin a totally tubular job in keepin things good- espesh since Xena is so sidetracked with stuff.

It wasn't so bad handling that Twilight of the Gods stuffage cuz i knew it was all silliness. But now mortals are pushing for the Twilight Zone of the Gods. I totally don't believe this new barf bag theory. Although, when around Zeus today i was thinking nothing but happy thoughts & hopin i didn't get sent to the cornfield. *sigh* I need help.

Egads! What an awful dream i had this morning. Can you imagine dreaming that you're nothing more than the creation of some weirdo's perverted mind- just for a make believe story? As if!

Weird thing is, that in that dream, as i still recall it clearly. When i was gettin Gas-Ex in that drug store, next to the medicine was a magazine rack. One mag had a cover story on someone named Jennifer Connelly. Gorgeous creature! I'm like so tempted to go to the future to see if she might really be real.

That Cupid. That Alti. Yuck! I know it'll help the world if Alti falls for me but pu-leeze, why can't she look like Jennifer Connelly. Hey, beauty is skin thin! I mean, look at me. Beauty makes love, 'kay? Maybe i could send a dite-bot down to entertain Alti. I mean, the hag never bathes! That sounds like that xc guy in my nightmare! Hmmmm... maybe xc is Alti! Maybe the dream represented my revulsion to Alti likin me. And maybe that revulsion made me feel smelly & ugly- hence, that's why ppl thought i was that xc person! Yay me, i'm my own shrink.

Maybe i could convince Alti to do a make-over and then work for Avon as a door-to-door sales shamaness.

Cupid...will he notice i super-glued his arrows back? I dunno how ppl will be affected by the Olympian Super-glue on the arrows. Will they see giant rabbits or think the walls of their huts are melting? Will they think the one they love is melting? What if they're a naturally tripped out person anyway- will there even be any side-effects? Only time will tell...heehee.

Pssst--hey mom!
I left some Blueberry Bubble Bath right outside Alti's lair....if you're not careful she'll drink it hehe and then maybe SHE will start having funky psychodelic dreams....hmmm...naaa here's the deal, ya go to her lair, draw up a really warm sudsy bubble bath and lure her in! She will not resist, she'll even take the putrid smelly old rabbit off her head!

After that....up to you, oh great Lurve Goddess!

Oh and one more thing. There is no xc--or WP9(what a strange name...). But there is a Jennifer Connoly.