Joxer went to show Xena the papers from Jett today--he won't tell me everything that happened, though, he's keeping something from me--he was all worried that i went to sleep and eavesdropped, haha, no i'm not that cruel, I'm not going to disrespect their privacy--still he's all proud because Xena trusted him, I know he is. But with what? It's annoying, truly annoying--sometimes those two can really turn his head. What's a girl to do?
Now he's all worried about me, he knows I get jealous, it's not fun, but a long time ago Xena DID steal a man I loved once--Hower his name was, very handsome--I did enjoy that man. Oh well, I really can't worry about Xena anymore, it's annoying, very distracting to say the least. I said i would help her and I will--but right now, I need a drink.

Joxer and I went to the tavern and who should we bump into there? Meg! She just kind of sat there, nursing a pint, staring into space. She perked right up when we got there though. It's strange, she's not even broken up about Joxer and I, even though, all right, we're not even really established, we never talked about marriage or even being boyfriend and girlfriend--we're close friends, and things get a little norti at night sometimes hehe. But nothing was written in stone yet--probably why Meg isn't too upset.
She's funny, she brought my humor back quite a bit, I must say. SHe looks at me out of the blue, and says,
"Minya, you're a buttkicking warrior, not a goddess--and me, I'm a tavern wench, not a--umm--shamrock."
I burst out laughing and snorted beer through my nose--shamrock, she never could say it right, I remembered hearing about her carrying a wooden "chakram" around in her dressing like Xena days, and always calling it a shamrock--well that was better than Diana, with her "round killing thing!" HAHA, now Livia's calling it something like that.
Livia. Eli has been talking about her from time to time. Wonder if he'll end up saving her? I think it has to be up to him to save her soul--as for me--well I kind of feel sorry for her now--she's so helpless you know? Talking to the chakram and calling it Mavis--hmmm. THen again she seems like she's getting closer to herself--whatever herself is. Madness tends to do that to you--as I know from experience.
Anyway we had some drinks and loosened up a bit--it's always good to do that.
"You know," I said, "Joxer the mighty--that song--it wasn't about your performance in battle, Joxer, you know that right?"
Joxer grinned. "Of COURSE I do. I always hoped Gabrielle would figure that out--still--"
"Oh, PEH, Gabrielle!" I said. "All right, I love her to pieces, she's a sweetheart--but Joxer honey, she's a THESBIAN. THrough and through. At least right now. I mean--with Xena--"
Suddenly I looked at Meg and Joxer and they were both chortling.
"What?" I asked.
"Thesbian," Meg grinned. "Minya, is that the word you're looking for?"
"Ummm, uh--waitaminya--minute--I need another drink," I said swigging my beer a moment.
"Thesbian," chortled Meg. "THat's actually--well, that's an actor or something, isn't it?"
"Actually it is," Joxer grinned. "An--actor."
"Whaaa--" I stared at him. "Waaaaaaait. Do you mean to tell me--"
"All this time," Joxer grinned, "you had the wrong word. No wonder you went mad, Minya--you were calling yourself an ACTOR, not a--oh hades, what's the real word?" he asked Meg.
"An ACTOR?" I frowned. "is THAT why Gabrielle always asks me how the theatre is? I thought she was asking about Paulina! Well SHEESH!" I thumped my fist on the table, then joined them both in chortling. "well ain't that just fine and dandy! The God of War plays me, makes me think I'm this powerful person, when all along he's making me into this--oh great Zeus!"
"This actress," Meg grinned. "An actress in the play of the God of War. Hey--you DID call yourself a thesbian."
"I meant lesbian!" I thumped my fist on the table now, thoroughly pissed off. Several patrons looked up at me, kind of shocked, and a little unnerved.
"Minya," Meg whispered, "no one uses that word much, you know."
"Hey. I'm not afraid to use a word if I want to," I grinned, feeling the old confidence coming into me stronger than ever. "Anyway I don't have to worry about wearing any lables anyway--because I'm not even a lesbian. I'm--I'm--what's the damn word now?"
"Bisexual," Meg said. "Well hey, so is Gabrielle, that's no big deal, so are a lot of us in Greece. We just don't--use that word much."
"It's a stupid word!" Joxer grumped. "I mean, why call it anything anyway? THat's so--silly, llike calling me a moron or something! So dumb!"
"You're right, Joxer. To hades with it! I'm not calling myself anything," I thumped my beer stein on the table. "I'm--Minya. THat's all I am. End of discussion."
"Have another drink," Meg grinned.
"Joxer, are you all right?" I asked him. "You don't seem it."
"I don't know, so much has happened, I"m so confused," Joxer moaned. "And Ares--how could he do that to us, Minya?"
"Hey," I said, putting a filled beer stein into his hand. "Time to let that wash under the bridge, Jox old boy. Me and you now--we've got to stick together. And hey! Maybe we will end up taking down Callisto and Alti--who knows? Stranger things have happened! The point is--we got to do it OUR way, not someone else's way."
"Don't forget Livia," Joxer said worriedly.
"I'm not," I said. "I think Eli will help her though. She needs to be back with Xena, back on the side of good. She never should have gone bad, that's not for her, anymore than hypnotizing Alti was for me."
"Hypnotizing Alti!" Meg guffawed.
"Ummm--let's not go there," I said, pouring Meg another drink. "So! Meg! Tell us what YOU have been doing lately!"
"Mr. Stinky is dead," Meg suddenly said.
Joxer sat up straight. "WHAT!"
Meg's lower lip trembled and tears welled up in her eyes. "Mr. Stinky was killed by Hera."
"What--no," Joxer said. I just sat there, stunned, then I put a hand on Meg's shoulder.
"I got the news yesterday," Meg said sadly. "The king of theives was destroyed. He was stinky to Hera--so she eliminated him."
"Damn," I said, sighing heavily. "Times are really crazy now aren't they? Even Gabrielle is confused, or she was today!"
"A toast," Joxer said solemnly. "To the King of Theives--Autolycus." Tears stood in his eyes. We clicked our glasses, and sat in silence for a long time, just taking it all in. It was too sad even for tears.
Finally Meg said, "You know, Mr. Stinky wouldn't want us sad about his dying," she said, forcing a smile. "He--he'd want us to celebrate. Maybe even--steal a few things, who knows?"
"I know what I'll do!" I shouted. "I'll--I'll--"lowering my voice, I said, "I'll steal the chakram back from Livia. In honor of--Mr. Stinky!"
"Now you're talking!" Meg grinned. "And--steal a broach for me will ya? she has a pretty necklace I heard. Don't know where she got it."
I did. I swallowed my bitterness at the trust I had for Ares, giving him Ephiny's pendant like that. But--that's an entry for another time.

This is INSANE I tell you! And they wonder why I drink! What ELSE can I do to relax besides--never mind.
Poor Livia! WHY can't i do the things i thought i could? Oh hell, that won't help, Minya, but still it would have been nice if i could DO something and not just watch! And now Eli. BLOODY BLOODY hell!
I could only stand there(in the dream world) and watch helplessly while Callisto gutted him. Well she didn't kill him, she can't, he's a spirit, but still--damn, what a mess! And poor Livia, looking all confused with a cut on the arm from the chakram she kept breaking in half--DAMN that Callisto! And Damn Alti! My rage has come back full force, I just wish I had the power to DO something about it besides dream about it! Well--once we GET to them I can at least fight them--and I will, trust me I will! I have SOME powers that Ares left me and I intend to use them to the best of my ability!
I'll be fair though--I'll let Xena have the final strike. After all--it's HER soul Alti took. She is watching Livia--biding her time, and she will have that chakram back--AND Ephiny's pendent! Dammit dammit DAMMIT I hate this shite! WHY can't we just get there??
Poor Xena, it really is a mess, her soul is in Alti's hands AND a madwoman. That's deep. I mean--how the hell do I know Alti isn't messing with her, slowing her down so she can wreak her havoc? So far, throughout this whole thing, Xena really hasn't done much of anything and that isn't like her. I know this has something to do with the chakram, and Alti--now Livia being well cookoo, that must be telling on Xena's soul--oh great, is this gonna drive her mad too???*note to self: don't GO there, Minya, this is what Eli meant by panic, remember?? Keep it together. Talk to Xena about your concerns, that is all you can do, even if she still doesn't fully trust you yet.* DAMMIT! See this is what Alti wants. For Xena not to trust me, for no one to trust me--for all of us to bicker and fight amongst ourselves--and end up sabotaging the mission. Alti did her work well. And well, Livia being all mad, that's one of the only good things that's come out of all this, she's getting closer to herself. I have no doubts she will come out of this well--whenever Eli is able to heal himself from the wound--hell, can he? He just got bloody well gutted by a god, that bitch Callisto. Obviously a mere dumass mortal like me can't touch him, but she can--she's a god, after all, however twisted she is. Oh frig. This is not good, not good at all. I need to talk to Xena about this.
Gabrielle is going to be so upset. Dammit, I hate this. Oh well, here goes nothing.*sigh*

I was going to tell you about the pendent, wasn't I? Well--that'll have to wait til next entry, I need to go tell these two what happened to Eli. Shite. That was not fun, apologizing to Ephiny. Well--i'll get to that later.
Here goes nothing!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Free Madness,

Ok enough, I'm not drinking tonight, I need to be clear. Too much is going on, i gotta get my head around it all.
Well i talked to Xena and Gabs about Eli, Xena kicked me out before I could get to the stuff about her soul--but that was because Gabrielle got all upset and Xena wanted to be alone with her. Bleh. I hope we go after them after this. This is too much waiting around. If she doesnt' go after them soon, I will.
Now, on top of everything else, Dite is somewhat back to normal--hmm, can't say I'm unhappy about that even if that Johnny Depp guy did sound cute. I notice that the bite is GONE now, gone as in it never even happened. She's back to being the Goddess of Love now--strange I was getting used to her odd new powers. Oh well at least there's one thing somewhat normal in the universe....
But Caesar--what is with this now? Dite told him he was Ares's son??? WHAAAAT? Sheesh, what is THAT all about?
And yet Dite denies it--at least she did when she visited me and told me the plan was off with the vampire bite. She says that that was one of her--whattyacallit, Ditebots, playing a trick on him. Hmmmm. I dunno, sounds like a lot of people are getting confused here....
Still, I'm not gonna worry about that, it was just--*shudder* CAESAR? The one who crucified Xena? Well then, his daddy did try to steal her soul--if it is his daddy--
Ok I'll tell you about the pendant.
I went to sleep one night and who should come to me but Ephiny. She was pretty pissed off. Well I told her i was sorry for all the delusions and trying to get people to believe me about them--but it turned out she did visit me a couple times--at first. She never made love to me, but she did trust me with info that was meant to be given to Xena for the purpose of helping her. Well i got carried away with Ares and then I went and gave him her pendant, and from then on everything got hazy. So she felt betrayed.
"I'm sorry, I really am, Ephiny," I said.
"So you should be," Ephiny snarled.
"Well," I said, "Even so, I can't help but point out--you don't have the best track record either when it comes to getting taken by a force greater than yourself."
Ephiny lunged at me, but I held my ground. She threw up her hands then and stepped back.
"I know I haven't been in the best of states these days, I don't need YOU to tell me, Minya!" she growled.
"Well what are you going to do?" I demanded. "Are you turning on good forever then? What?"
"That," Ephiny said warningly, "Is MY business, Minya."
"Hey, suit yourself," I said shrugging. "It's your soul, Ephiny not mine. I jsut have one thing on my mind--helping Xena with the Chakram and saving an innocent life."
"Oh, you're still going on about how YOU are going to save my son and get back the chakram?" Ephiny said, rolling her eyes.
"LOOK!" I finally exploded. "I know what I did was wrong and I'm sorry for it i really am. But all I'm going to do, Ephiny--is what I'm CAPABLE of doing! And what I'm capable of includes these visions of mine. And the REAL ones are not to be discounted just because there were some fakeys along the way!
"Like it or lump it, Ephiny, Ares may have used me like a piece of old snotrag, but at least I GOT something out of it. Power to see, and power to--to do certain things, like make sparks come out of my sword--or make it glow. All right," I said as Ephiny started to laugh. "That doesn't sound like much--and it ISN'T much compared to what i thought i could do--but it is what it is, and I can at least help out even if i don't end up--doing it all!"
"Hmmm," Ephiny said, looking at me. "You seem to have realized a lot--still--forgive me for not being fully ready to trust you. I just wanted to tell you how I felt about it all. I was very hurt, Minya. I thought you were a woman of integrity, you know."
"I am, well the real me is, I hope," I said feeling terrible.
"I never wanted you to be as involved as you've become," Ephiny said softly. "It was too dangerous. I wish you had never found my necklace. I mean--you get carried away, you want to help people, but then you have this hero wish--i mean you want so much to be this great warrior, recognized and known like Xena is--"
"Not anymore," I said evenly.
"Oh?" Ephiny said archly. "Are you sure about that?"
"Positive," I said, looking her straight in the eye. "It's for the birds, all of it. I just want to help get Xena's soul back, and your son to his rightful place--and go back to living my life. You know--normal. Peaceful. Fun."
"You," Ephiny said, "have not had a lot of fun lately, have you, Minya?"
"It was fun at first," I said. "But then it just got--wacky. Then Ares died--and I went mad--and you know." I sighed and shook my head, then sat down on the bed. "Got turned into a donkey. Cut off my finger. Tried to kill Eli--told everyone I hypnotized Alti. ARRRG! I need a drink!"
"As I said, I never wanted you so involved in this," Ephiny sighed. "I even thought of telling you to throw the pendant away. But--no, Alti might have found it--not that she doesn't have it now." She sighed, and shook her head. "WHY did you give that to Ares, Minya? Were you in such a drunken stupor that you forgot that he is a god, and can talk to me anytime he wants to?"
"He SAID he wanted something to keep me close to him," i said bitterly. "Like I haven't heard that line before from COUNTLESS other men--but no, he was a god, so HE was different!" I sighed. "NOT!"
"Minya," Ephiny said, laughing regardless of the situation, "you need to take a load off. Stop worrying so much about this stuff! Xena will sort it out. She always does." She put her hand on my shoulder. "Just go out with Joxer and have a good time. Xena will come up with a plan soon."
"The problem is--Alti and Livia have her soul," I said. "And now that Livia is mad, she's putty in their hands."
"I know," Ephiny said evenly.
"Don't you think Xena might be being controlled by Alti a bit?" I said. "I mean--taking so long to do something about all this--that can only spell disaster in the end."
"See, Minya you still sound so arrogant," Ephiny sighed. "You always think you can do better than Xena--and this is what gets you--and everyone else--in deep doo doo!"
"Listen," I said darkly, "I may not be Xena, I may not be as intelligent as she is, but there ARE some things I am good at! Now, we are getting nowhere--absolutely nowhere! Even Joxer has secrets from me now--at Xena's behest!"
"She has her reasons for everything," Ephiny said. "i think you need to just let go a little bit. Trust Xena. Stop trying to second guess her all the time! That's what gets you in trouble!"
I sighed. "I still think Alti is messing with her."
"Alti is messing with all of us," Ephiny said impatiently. "That's just what she does--mess with people. It hasn't hurt anyone yet. you're trying to solve this too fast. Slow down. Go for drinks tomorrow with Joxer. Enjoy yourself for a change!
"I gotta go," she said. "it's really hard to do this, you know--with all that's been happening to me. But--I need you to know something," she said. "This has affected you in as much a negative way as me. No one is being themselves anymore! That has to change. With that said--I must go, Minya. Goodbye. And--take it light." She gave me a small smile--then disappeared.

I of course didn't heed her advice right away--but now I'm thinking about it. Here i am all worried about stuff all the time--i can't relax anymore, even when I have fun! Damn visions--all of a sudden they're actually a pain in the arse!
Well enough of that.
She's right, I need to trust Xena. She knows what she's doing. I'll do my part when we finally catch up to them. I'm sure now that Eli is in danger, Xena is talking to Gabs about what to do. We'll probably set off tomorrow.
Meanwhile--I think I'm going to find Joxer, and--take Ephiny's advice. Sheesh. I can't save the world, I can only do my part. Enough is enough. Joxer is coming over to me now--I think he just wants to go out and let loose, for real this time. I think--for once--I agree with him.
Finally.

Shimmers into Minya's room.


Creates a big shimmery glimmery energy ball-cone of silence, and covers a naked Minya, and a half naked joxer with it.

'NOW, they can't hear us... Let's see why these mortals like to drink the fluids from these bottles so much my darling...'

What's that? It tastes like chicken.

Goes through Minya's things..

'I didn't think batteries were invented yet??'

Takes a long swig of the brown stuff in the bottle.. 'Ohh burns'

Hands to bottle to Hera.

*takes a swig*

*takes another swig*

*shudders*

*takes a looooong swig*

You know, I've alwaysh *hic* luuurved *hic* yooouuu.

*takes a swig*

Even when you were *hic* spawning offschp- offswch- offspun- kids around the world.

*passes bottle back to Zeus*

I think now is the time to have my way with you Hera...

*puts my hand on hera's shoulder, and zaps us both back to Mt Olympus to have some real fun*

*Kazam!*

grabs bottle.... takes cone of silence off Minya and Joxer.. and leaves again.

Now WHAT th--did we drink ALL that booze just a bit ago? Sheesh!
But the bottle is gone--odd.
Hmmmm, or maybe Xena took it. She could use a drink--can't say I blame her.
Phew, fighting in the spirit world? Dunno, sounds odd--I mean I can't hypnotize but can I FIGHT? Times like this I wish Ares was still alive. What am I saying?
Still--I'll try, for Xena's sake. I owe her that much. Damn, I wish I could talk to Eli! NOW Gabrielle tells me this--when he gets stabbed--ugh! Hmmmm, should I go find him? Bloody hell, I got so upset seeing him gutted I just fell back into my body--AAAA i hate that!
I'd talk to Gabs, but she's with Xena now--Xena needs her. Maybe I'll have a talk to her tomorrow. Gabrielle is so smart--always made so much sense!
Ephiny does too--she did give me great advice. I do wish her well. I truly do.

Now--WHERE the hades did I put those batteries?? Joxer is giving me that--look. Heheheheheheh.

*pops back into Minya's room*

*still holds bottle, taking frequent swigs from it*

... and then there was the time when you thought it would be fun to have your way with a swan. A swan! Honestly, you'll shag anything that moves.

*sees Minya looking at her*

*knocks her cold with a bolt of icy lightning*

She'll wake up with one Hades of a headache in the morning. Not to mention the memory of hallucinating about the Queen of Olympus.

Now, what was I saying? Oh yes, then you decided you had a thing for gazelles. GAZELLES! What IS it with you and animal love? It's one thing to love animals. Another thing entirely to LOVE animals.

Are you even listening to me?

Zeusy?

ZEEEUUUSSSYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Dammit. Bottle's empty.

Screw this. I'm off to find a young wood nymph.

Or a nympho. Or even just some wood.

*vanishes*

NO NO NO!
This can't be happening! No, it can't! Not Joxer! NOOOOOOOO!
I've been so worried about Xena, I didn't even protect him! THen again, there wasn't much I could do--but I could have tried! Oh gods I could have tried!
Not Gabrielle. Please don't let it be true, oh gods, PLEASE!
Could it be a trick? Could Alti be tricking us? Is Gabrielle--really-- HOW did Xena get the chakram back? Oh my gods--Alti, Alti, I misjudged your power maybe but no more. And yet--I swear--if there is a way i can get vengeance on you for this so HELP ME HERA(why did i see her in my room last night talking about SWANS? and drinking from my bottle--oh right, that was Alti again wasn't it? You distracted me well, Alti, throwing me hallucinations of the Queen of Olympus drunk and ranting about animal er, love haha--hmmmm, nice one, Alti, but not clever enough! Meanwhile, all this time you were possessing Joxer--OH JOXER! I am so sorry!) Oh gods of Olympus help me please--I call upon your power! Zeus, I am sorry for my insult before, I hope you forgive me--and help me--please! I feel so alone, so lost--what on Earth can I do? This--this will kill Joxer. I can't let that happen. I simply can not. Not when it's taken me so long to find him.
All he can do is cry and lay down on the bed, screaming, and pounding the pillows. Oh Gods, gods, WHY?
Someone help him--anyone--Eli--are you out there? Can you hear me?
Alti, so help me, I will make you pay--if I ever get the wherewithal to do so! But--even if i cannot make you pay--ohhhh to watch Xena do it, just stand there and watch her slowly destroy you--which she will I'm sure she will--that will mean more to me than--anything in the world.
Forgive me, Joxer. Forgive me, Gabrielle.

"It's all right, Minya," Joxer said as he held me and stroked my hair. "Don't cry. Everything is all right."
WHAT? I don't know what came over this geezer, but--one minute he was screaming and pounding the pillow, next minute he was running out the door, in a daze. Well I heard Xena's voice--not that I could make out what they were saying--but then next thing you know, Joxer comes in--and is all stupified. Well all i can do is cry, I"m spent, no more bravery today, I'll do that later when we take our revenge, so he takes me in his arms and holds me, comforting me, and says over and over, "Don't cry, it's all right, it's all right...."
Oh Gods, help us! Eli--where are you?
Strangely enough, I did think i heard a giggle in the back of my head--a high pitched giggle that sounded like--no. Then a sound--WHOOSH!
If i can find out about this, i will. Haven't been able to sleep.....
But i'm tired, so tired....maybe this time....
Please.

Well i went to sleep--finally.
But Alti is really going strong, I think she's confusing my visions now.
That's ok because I actually did some praying when I was out there--to Eli's Father.
I called on him. I asked him for help. I need help, so much help with this mission--I just don't want to make anymore mistakes that cost people their lives or anything else.
Eli is fine. He feigned injury when Callisto stabbed him. But he is more than all right--and I think--I think I am starting to understand where he's coming from--for real.
Doesn't mean I'm going to renounce fighting, haha, far from it. Gabrielle didn't do that in the end.
Oh Gabrielle. Are you alive? I am so confused. I saw you at Poteidaia one minute--good gods, with your head intact--thanks to Dite and her friend--I forget his name. But he put your head back on--and Joxer was made aware of it as was Xena? THen--oh gods, Alti seized me and shook me hard and said, "NO, you insufferable fool, LOOK!" And let her powerful gravelly laugh go right through me. Ugh. I saw it--Gabrielle's head, and Xena's Chakram--on her shrine with all her other artifacts.

Oh dear Gods, I have no idea what is real anymore!

Alti thrust me into this dark place and it was very hard to get out, to find my way out to where Eli had been--I called his name, I called long and hard, but he couldn't hear me, I was lost.
Then I woke up.
With a headache that pounded like the rocks in Alti's throat, the rocks that Livia was talking about--am I going mad too now? Oh no please. I can't afford that.
I look over now at Joxer--his face is still streaked with tears. Was that real--him comforting me like that, being calm--am I losing my grip on reality too?
I call on you, God of Eli--help me--guide me--I have no where else to turn! If I'm going to survive this--with no one else getting killed--I must at least listen to you. I don't know that I'm ready to stop living as I am, well I haven't had anyone else in my bed lately except Joxer--then again I haven't really wanted anyone else. Well all right, I was tempted by Meg, but it didn't happen--she was too depressed over Autylocus.
As for the drinking--maybe if i can get clearer on myself I won't have to do that that much. I usually drink to forget when things get too heavy. Gabrielle writes about it. Hell, I write about it--I'm always scribbling in here but about what?
Help me Father--if you are out there, please help me.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Free Madness,

Minya, my child,
Though you can not see me I am never far from you. There are many mysteries in this universe, and you will be tempted to use powers that are not from my Father but from sources of all manor of evil. Try to stay away from these things. Keep you head about you. You may of course enjoy life, the fruit of the vine, the companionship of others; all are gifts of my Father and you should enjoy them!

You are mortal yes, but you possess a mighty spirit that can do great things in faith and love. These are your greatest weapons. Use them liberally and you will accomplish many things.

Minya- find you quiet center- don’t attend to the confusions of this world. Be still, and know that I am there.

I love you,
Eli

Thank you, Eli. My whirling, swirling thoughts just went skedaddle when you showed up, just kind of standing there, suspended in the clouds; all was quiet except a soft breeze that blew around your hair--i will say you're quite the looker, too bad you don't partake of that "companionship" you were talking about--hehe, never mind.
But at least I'm not confused anymore, thank you for that. I now know that I can be myself even if I do take in the Way of Love--I can direct my energies to a force greater than me, within me--and still be Minya, laughing, enjoying, partying--and taking out annoying enemies(well at least helping someone else do that)--and know that it's for a greater purpose than getting recognition or glory--it's because it is meant to be, part of the flow of life--sheesh i never knew i could talk this kind of mumbo jumbo but it's getting easier now.
As for you, Ares--if you can hear me old friend. You taught me a lot. But it's time to let you go. It was all for grandeur, power. And--who knows if you wouldn't have skewered me on a stick like your head now rests on once ya got Xena's soul away from alti--or thought you would?

At any rate, I'm back on track with myself at least--I just need to figure out what's going on with Gabrielle. Just woke up here, haven't asked anyone yet, Jox is still asleep poor guy, he needs his sleep. Eli did you help Dite save her? Or does alti have her head? Double visions cloud my thinking. Some clarity in that area would help a lot.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAH!
Oh Gods, you gotta love Dite's Afro. I am so going to exercise my culinary arts and leave a gift on her shrine--Joxer and I can do that. Hmmmm, what would please her? Blueberry pancakes wtih blueberry syrup on the side, i think that'd be the ticket!
Leave it to her to explain it all and in that wonderful way--
I may not be a goddess, but my soul can do the WHOOSH thing when i sleep--hehe, doesn't matter where i go, if i can go to the land of the dead after all--just got tired of waiting around, curious little bugger that i am. But Dite met me at the door, didn't want to let me in, oops too private, the Gods would not be happy to see a mortal soul there--so she took me somewhere far away and explained it all to me. Well she knows what's up with me and Joxer now, she's rather thrilled about that actually now that she's back into the love poo. So she knows i am doing this for his sanity too. I mean--poor joxer was so confused cuz Alti was in HIS head too showing him the *gag* dead darling's dangling dome. hahahah, who'd have thunk it, one of the three dancing naked gabbies. Damn. Good on ya, Dite's Afro!
So she explained the whole thing to me--too bad i couldn't partake in the rum ambrosia--mmmm that sounded entirely too good! Oh well--maybe I'll go back to Japan--whoosh my soul over there--need a vacation I think, I wish Joxer could whoosh with me! That'd be so much fun indeed!
WHoohoo! Gabs is alive! Time to celebrate! Yay Dite and Eli! er--Asclepios! Whatever.

Ugh. Not fun.
Xena is supposedly following the original plan before Gabs got beheaded but waiting til tomorrow. Why? Why not leave tonight? Too much danger here. Alti is still controlling her I think. It's really not like Xena to be so inactive.
Sheesh. If I were running this mission....
Steady on, Minya.
Caesar may have saved Gabrielle--largely because he was trying to impress Dite's Afro(now is he REALLY Ares's son? Dite told me he's kind of delusional, but that bot of hers was very convincing apparently....still....I can definitely see SOME similarities, well--some.)--but then what does he do, he goes and tells Callisto AND Alti that Gabs is ALIVE! Ugh, there was Eli, playing dead over there--nothing he could do--so I kind of hung out to see what they would do about it. Alti kind of went quiet, and Callisto started swearing like a tavern wench, calling Xena every name in the book, and wishing death on the battling bard. Caesar just stood there and laughed. As for Livia? She just sat on the ground, playing with her new "Shiny thing."
Well then Alti said, "I'm going into seclusion."
SECLUSION? What the hades does that mean??
Well I didn't get a chance to find out because Joxer woke me up panicking because of a nightmare he had about Alti. Hades and Hell, is she gonna start messing with him on a regular basis??? I cannot allow that--no way, I will have to take her on,(somehow) and I mean seriously. I don't care WHAT happens to me, she is not messing with Joxer, NOT AGAIN! He still is not over the fact that his hand killed Gabrielle. He won't be over that for a long time. HELL if I'm gonna let her fark with him!!
XENAAAAAA! DO something!!!!!
Tomorrow we'll set out. I know, I know, Eli, I have to be patient. But if anymore delays happen, I'm thinking I will jsut set out myself, with Joxer by my side. Enough is enough. I can follow the Way of Love while doing things my way. I HATE this, normally I'm really not a follower. But I did make an agreement, and I'm going to do my damdest to stick to it. But damn--Ephiny went and made a deal with Alti so she could get Xenan back. At least Xenan has been rescued and is with his mother, but at what price? It's a good thing Livia is insane or it never would have happened, but sheesh almighty! Waiting around for Xena like this--so much has happened, most of it not so nice! DAMN Alti! DAMN DAMN DAMN!
She was always Xena's greatest challenge though, I think. Well except for maybe Dahok, and Hope. But Alti is--well she's something else, I'll tell you.
But I'm SICK of her shite! She may have lost out with Gabrielle but she certainly had a lot of success in other ways!! Well NO MORE! If I'm gonna learn to use these powers, I HAVE to use them right! Eli said use the powers of love, not the powers of darkness. And yet--Ares's power gives me strength and has actually helped some--even if it also hurt! I mean would we actually be GOING somewhere now if it weren't for my visions?? I hope Eli wasn't telling me to abandon my visions--I need them, this mission needs them. Bloody Alti and her control over Xena. What next? The end of the world??
Ummmm--I think not. Maybe this is Minya's turn, after all. Oh those evil ones love it when Minya does her "fan girl" bit hehe, but guess what? I AM a warrior, i've kicked many a good butt and I will do it again! Alti? Oh please. Whatever I can do, I will do it even if it ends in my death. Sometimes the ends justify the means!
I have to remember to follow the way of love. But--can I use Ares's magic for good? I'm going to have to use it if we're to win this mission. After all--DITE uses it for good and she was ARes's sis! Then again, she's a goddess....
The Goddess of LOVE!
Me? I am what I am, and my name is Minya. With that said, I'm about to use some of Ares's magic on Joxer, to make the dreams stop. He's not like me, he can't handle them, they freak him out. I don't want him losing his mind over this, that mind is such a beautiful one--when you get to know it. Anwyay--enough said, I'm gonna do my work--and then we'll have a little drink.
Oddly enough I've lost a lot of weight--you'd think with all the drinking, I'd have gained, but no--then again I'm not eating much hardly at all. Stress, and nerves. Plus all those walks in the woods--I don't stay holed up all the time, can't do that after all. Joxer is worried I'll get too thin. Well I'll never have Gab's Abs, but he doesn't want that for me. Naaa, he likes me just as I am. Strangely though, I like the new wiry Minya--but I do need some new clothes, can't have my trousers falling down in front of Livia, she's liable to laugh and then make some "shimmers" happen--well thank the gods I don't have a--never mind.

Now where are those bloody batteries....bless Dite's Afro and her 20th century gifts!

I wonder what we're going to do, pick up Gabs from Poteidaia ourselves(Joxer seems to think that's a good idea, he'd rather she stay safe) or have her meet us somewhere? I"m kind of antsy to get on the road. As for Gabs being safe, well hell that's her family but can they protect her? Aren't they in bigger danger with her there? She'd be better off to just leave and catch up to us later. Eli can meet her if Xena doesn't want her alone. Of course if Eli thinks it's safe to stop playing dead.
I wish Dite had more of an interest in these things, but she's a goddess, she involves herself when she wants to, when she feels it's right, but no other time. She could be a valuable asset--she could definitely protect Gabrielle that's for sure--at least until she caught up with Xena and all of us.
Joxer and I had our first fight last night--well it wasn't a bad one but I did get a little snappish abuot being woken up last night--oops. I wanted to find out what Alti was going to do--as much for his sake as for Xena and all of us. But I felt bad, I really can't be annoyed at Joxer, it's not his fault and I explained that to him when I apologized(the best part about fights is making up--as he showed me hehe--how can you not make up to someone who does--all those things? Mm hmm, Joxer the mighty, he EARNED that name, baby!). It's Alti I'm angry at--sometimes my rage at her gets so overwhelming it seems like I'm angry at innocent people as well. Well I'm not even angry at Xena, not at all, I just know Alti has been messing with her, her separation from her soul is getting to her big time and it makes me MAD! But at Alti, and myself for not knowing how to fight her the way she needs to be fought.
Then again--do I?
Everything seems to be pointing me toward this mission in some powerful way--all that's happened, and yet--I've had to do some serious soul searching recently, I've been tested in ways I never have before. Joxer has been through far more than I have, so he can help me with a lot of this--but damn, I have to say this has been one intense journey.
Now Alti isn't doing much of anything--and that bothers me. She seems to be waiting for Xena to do something. At least she's lost interest in me, well that's one good thing, hehe--and yet, what she'll do to Ephiny--can't say I like that, she's going to torture the hell out of her, she's already begun. And Ephiny? What will she do? Infused with Alti's power will she come after us? AFter Gabrielle?? She specifically said she would not harm Xena that is her one condition. But what about Gabrielle? Oh God of Eli, Ephiny has lost the plot. Will she harm Xenan too if asked to? Do we have to do battle with Ephiny as well? No--no. Keep it focused on Alti and Callisto. Once they are destroyed, Ephiny will find herself again--as for Livia, even insane, she's obsessed with blood--Eli better stop playing dead and take her in hand fast before she kills everyone! Caesar--he's fascinated with her I think, then again, she is the so called "Champion of Rome"--he probably thinks he can use her to get some revenge for him--and yet his obsession with being Ares's son, if indeed he IS--
Ugh, got a headache. Then again--there's stress relief right here! Joxer is looking at me in that special way again--hehe, found the batteries and the ummm 21st century artifact they go in--bless Dite and her crazy ideas hehe, Goddess of Love she was BORN to be that, Afro or no Afro! And Joxer? Now that i think of it, he knows more about hmmm certain pleasures than even Ares! That's SAYING something! heheheheheh!!

Time to throw off the STRESS! HEHEEHEHEHHEHEHE!

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BLOODY BLOODY HADES!!!
Amarice woke me up--yelling about Xena not being able to breathe, demanding to know if Alti was messing with her. Well shite, here I am seeing Livia mess with herself--great good gods, did she actually KILL herself?
She killed Caesar that much I know--I think. THen again, Caesar was already dead--well sheesh all these deaths. Of people who are already dead. Bloody bloody Hades.
Turned out Xena was having a nightmare that's all. I ran to her tent and Xena was like, "No worries! I'm FINE!" Sheesh. All that just to be kicked out by the mighty warrior princess. BLEH!
I told Amarice that no, Alti wasn't messing with her. That Alti was just sitting there, in seclusion. Which she is. She's waiting for Xena. As for Eli....he's waiting, waiting...
I told Amarice everything but what I saw Livia do to herself--or start to do to herself. So she knows that Caesar has been annihilated by Livia, at least--or so it seems.
Caesar is already dead though. Livia may be a good warrior, however mad, but she's still a mortal--isnt' she?
I left out the part about what Livia started to do to herself. I just--can't tell anybody until I'm sure.
It doesn't make sense!
I need a drink.

While I'm drinking and somewhat calmer--since I CAN'T SLEEP! So i can't find out fully if Livia is...arrrrg....never mind, downing rum here, rum good rum....calm Minya down. Sleep later.

Here we go...something to calm the nerves.

DITE:
Goddess of Love Poo
Or whatever she wants, too!
Gotta love the 'Fro!

Well isn't this a nice how-de-do, now i don't have my visions anymore. THey're gone. All of them. Now i'm back to square one.
And Xena? Well apparently even THAT was a dream last night because she's gone. She left a note--that she went ahead of us. THanks, Xena. Just leave us behind why don't you.

I have actually had more than enough of this. Waiting aruond for Xena, being loyal to her and then what, she just takes off like that. Well fine, I don't have my visions anymore, or my powers that Ares left me. the gods know why--or maybe it was Eli's Father--who knows. But no worries. I can throw it off, i was who I was and a good fighter regardless.
I'm going to suggest to Joxer today that we just bloody well set off on our own. I have quite a few personal scores to settle here, anyway, especially with Alti. Even if i die, at least I stood up to her--right?
If Amarice wants to come with us she can. But i'm tired of putting it all in Xena's hands--one minute she does absolutely nothing, then she just takes off like that--and what about Gabrielle??
Sheesh.
Well I"m not gonna worry about it it's in their hands now. I think I'll just--wake up my little Joxy poo and see what we can plan on our own.

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This is SO not my day. Amarice and Joxer sit arguing about whether Amarice should travel with us or not. Meanwhile times a-tickin. Amarice seems so hellbent on impressing Xena--heh, been there, done that. She thinks she should catch up to her. Meanwhile Gabrielle is probably gods knows where, trying to find Xena--did she even think about that little blonde bard who only recently got her head sliced off by Alti?? Poor Joxer never forgets it, he's so worried about Gabrielle--he wants us to find her and make sure she's all right, but I keep telling him her place is with Xena, and they will find each other. But no, Xena seems so obsessed with Livia--that's the last damn vision I had, her stopping Livia from cutting off her own head, well sheesh. Looks like Livia may be all right, Xena did get her to Eli, and then she opened some scroll and gave it to Eli--he read some mumbo jumbo and then BAM! Darkness. Gone. I have to say, I didn't know I'd feel such a relief to have them gone, I thought they would only help us, but sheesh--oh well, guess not. Well I can still do my bit--I'll just do it with Joxer by my side! That's why we should travel together. Away from this redheaded nutjob, talking about "my tribe" all the time and Xena and Gabrielle and what an idiot I am. She hasn't been giving Joxer crap lately and that bugs me to be honest--the way she looks at him sometimes, I can't help but wonder what she's thinking--well no way in HADES am I losing Joxer to bloody Amarice! Losing Hower to Xena all those years ago was bad enough.
Sheesh. And i used to get on Paulina's case about being jealous....
Speaking of, I really should write her. I kind of left abruptly, said very little, and, well, a lot has changed. Not that I ever promised her monogamy, haha, Minya is not one to be tied down after all--but I wouldn't be adverse to a three way if she were game--she did used to like the men before I came along!
That's a thought for another time, however.
We MUST figure out what we're doing, I'm fed up with people holding us back. Must go now--this argument is getting heated.

I kind of hope Amarice does come with us. There really is safety in numbers after all. Even if she IS a tough Amazon woman.
Write later!
Minya

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Free Madness,

What a wacky screwy moment?

The earth started shaking, everything seemed to go totally screwy there--for a moment, Amarice disappeared, right in the middle of the argument--then JOXER disappeared--so I kind of freaked then, I was kind of all alone and then the world seemed to change on me--I saw myself in chains and I saw Callisto in front of me, holding that stone, whatever it is, I heard a gravelly laugh--NO!
Then--all of a sudden it went back to normal. AMarice and Joxer were still standing there arguing as if nothing had happened--I was in the same place, with them--no chains, no Callisto.
I kind of shook it off, freaking a little inside, wishing I had some more rum to calm me down. What the hell was that, anyway??