I had to write that down last night before I forgot. Now looking back, it makes absolutely NO sense whatsoever. I don't remember experiencing this at all--oddly enough, things like this are really freaking me out now, whereas I gravitated toward them before. But ever since yesterday when I lost those visions--I've felt such a relief to be NORMAL again, and I do, I mean I had the best sleep last night I ever did!

Hmmmm, and it wasn't all sleep either....

When I asked Joxer, he said he did remember the ground shaking a little--not much else though. It freaks him out too so we avoid the topic.

PHEW, enough of that, time to catch you up on the latest! Joxer and i are on our way now. We set off last night after the screwy incident. Amarice wants to find Xena, and no amount of convincing her will change her mind. I tried to tell her about the safety in numbers, but she looked at me and said something like, "Minya, if i had to choose which feels safer, traveling with you and Joxer, or travelling by myself--well--even YOU can figure that out!"
Joxer got angry then. "FINE!" he yelled at her. "BE that way! But don't come crying to us when Alti comes after you!"
Amarice just hoisted her bag on her back, took her few belongings and set off. Good enough. To be honest, it would have been quite a burden to us to have that whiny complainy woman around. Always questioning the way I do things, always trying to lecture me on what XENA would do(what has Xena done all mission? Whatever Xena wants to do is all.). Not to mention "my tribe, my tribe..." At one point Joxer looked at her and said, "You are not in your tribe anymore...DOROTHY!"
"Who's Dorothy?" I asked him, confused.
"Some story I heard once--i'll tell you later," Joxer promised.
Had to love that. Joxer is the BEST storyteller I ever met!

Well more on that later, there's more, much more.
We travelled a good long way, headed towards where Eli is. I think I need to talk to him before we set out for Alti's place. Joxer wasn't sure if we should set out for Alti first or go to Eli--but I think going to Eli is probably the smart thing to do. Whatever happens between me and Alti, I really am not interested in dying before I can at least make some difference. I may not have powers. But I have the wherewithall to ask for help--any help that I can get.
Eli never let me down--so far. Joxer trusts him. So that's where we're going.
He's so cute when he's excited! He was talking about Livia and Callisto--"oh, if they are there--and they try anything on you, Minya--I will knock them flat I will! I--" his hat just fell down on his eyes and I chortled heavily. It feels so great to be on the road!
We will probably run in to Xena there, but that is all right. We talked a bit about Gabrielle--we are going to swing by to the place she was going to meet us and see if she's there. She may be headed in the same direction--for all I know, Eli sent a message to Poteidaia. Xena may be there awhile, trying to bond with Livia if that can happen--it looked pretty promising, last vision I had. Who knows. Livia is a tough nut to crack. Oh well. Mother love can do a lot, or so I've heard!
Speaking of, I'm uhh, a little late. THat kind of irks me. I wasn't planning on having kids, you know. Normally I'm very careful--but I may have gotten drunk back there--and forgot. Well RATS! That's rather annoying, I mean to be honest, it's only been a couple weeks here. It could really be anybody's kid--couldn't it??
I really do hope it is Joxers, if indeed I am pregs. I don't really relish being the mother of a half god or goddess--especially if they turn out to be anything like Ares--yikes! Double crossing, infused with ulterior motives--well Joxer and I have talked about kids--FARRRR into the future--and I think he'd make an absolutely fabulous daddy!
Still, this throwing up every morning--I think everyone just assumed I was hungover--which I was--but now my boobs hurt. NOT nice at all. I wonder if there's a healer around here somewhere??
I'm keeping this from Joxer because he's been through so much--I'll tell him, uhh later. I just hope to the gods it doesn't happen now, that will really annoy me. Not that I'll show for months and months, hell, I can still fight, but if Alti finds out....
I can deal with dying myself--but if I've got a kid to think about--who cares who's it is--that kind of adds a whole new dynamic, doesn't it?? Well, sheesh. I guess now that my visions are gone, I need to think about this mess. UGH, what a mess!

Minya, My Friend,
You have some interesting plot points in your latest entry. (Yes, I read them all, and I know that you are searching for your true path.)

Did you know that you still have one more opportunity to record your story in "the story" this week?
-Love, Eli

PS I'm looking forward sharing a fire-side chat with you and Jox.

Now, for the winner... Not only will they get immunity for the following week. (therefore no matter how badly they suck, they can't be booted).. You will also get one extra post in the story thread to be used at your discretion eg. you can hold onto it until you accumulate several, or use it the week you get it.

methinks Minya's had her three. Unless I can't count...which wouldn't surprise me either.

Thank you for correcting my mistake Livia. I should have doublechecked that fact.

Sorry, Minya, for leading you a bit astray.

Oh, Gabrielle, Gabrielle. It can't be true. It's so unfair. Xena! Oh gods, what will this do to her? Joxer can't even take it. He got so drunk tonight, now that I'm not drinking, it's more for him--good thing Paulina is around, she's good for him. I'm not even jealous--well she's my girl too after all!
Amarice, my friend. We could have been friends, you know. We could have worked together, taking down Alti--AND Caesar! Oh, if I had only been there! If I'd only stopped you from going off by yourself, brave warrior!
Well you are in the land of the Dead now--may you rest in peace, brave one.
Gabrielle--it makes no sense. What did Caesar do to them? Pie? What did he do, poison it? Doesn't make sense, not ANY of it.
And this mumbo jumbo about the Ixiom stone--i must read it tomorrow--but now I am too busy with Joxer. Oh, it was all right for a little while, he and Pauly got way drunk and then--well--alchohol is good for the Jox as far as really loosening him up!(not that he needs to be loosened up much but still...) It was a time of bonding--we needed that time.
Then, afterwards, Pauly passed out cold--and Joxer just started howling and sobbing. He is so upset. He blames himself for Amarice, and a little bit for Gabrielle. I sit here writing this and he sits on the floor, crying in my lap as I cried in his lap last week. Damn Caesar! HOW can he be related to Ares? Even if Ares DID use us, he'd never be that tactless. Gabrielle just had her HEAD cut off last week, and poor Joxer did it to her! Well, no, Alti did it to her, but Joxer still thinks he did--he hasn't even gotten over THAT yet--and--now this. Tears splash on this page. I can't even see very well, as I write. Joxer, Joxer, please don't lose your mind over this. Oh Caesar--your day will come. Rome will remember your death--at the hands of Minya.

No. No. I need to let Xena have that one.

The gods know she owes him death--for so many reasons. And this? THis is the most important one.
But I will be there. I will be there to watch you fall, Caesar. Joxer and I will be there together. And believe me--when you do--we will celebrate.

My little one will carry Gabrielle's name if she's a girl. If a boy--perhaps Gabriel. Well all right, King Gregor's son is Gabriel, but still--
I must go. Joxer needs me. Will write tomorrow.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Free Madness,

To Minya,
Loving, Kind and Generous Woman of Truth,

I have compiled a list of writings (Link Below)that will be of help to you in your new walk. It is a lot of reading, I know, so for now, just read the highlighted parts. Keep these with you and refer to them when you are troubled or need guidance.
Love,
Eli

PS I have not had time to look into what you asked about your child. However, I do know that the angels of light (or gods of this age) which produced children by mortals created some very special people with only goodness in their hearts and limited powers that they used for good. (Of course a lot depended on their upbringing.) Remember I will be praying for you and Joxer, and your little one!
Love,
Eli

Letter to Minya

PHEW! I must say Eli makes awesome sense. After all he's been through after all--he needs a Father looking out for him.
He wrote me this letter and put it in my room. Trouble is, I'm just not as intelligent as he is--I can't put it into words what he said, I have to quote him. Here are a couple passages from the letter he sent me:
23 The steps of the godly are directed by the Lord.
He delights in every detail of their lives.
24 Though they stumble, they will not fall,
for the Lord holds them by the hand.

That one reminds me of Joxer, haha. I always feel like something spiritual is holding his hand, no matter how clumsy he is. I can honestly say that being his lover has taught me more than being with Ares ever did--strange to say, but it's so true!

And this one:
34 Don't be impatient for the Lord to act!
Travel steadily along his path.
He will honor you, giving you the land.
You will see the wicked destroyed

haha, that one is me all over. I'm one of the most impatient people I know!

never sacrifice your son or daughter as a burnt offering.

Well--I simply refuse to do that. I love my child. I don't care whose it is. I saw the Healer today and he did take some tests. But he's as sure as I am. My boobs hurt so much, and the morning sickness lasted me all day today. Strangely, I have a certain clarity that I never had before. I know there's a life growing inside me. It would be GREAT if it were Joxer's, and he would just love it so much! But--if it is Ares's--she is also my child, and I love her every bit as much. Joxer and I talked today--he's still so upset about Gab and Amarice, but he wants this baby. He will be a father to my child even if it is the God of War's.
We need something positive to focus on. Might as well be...new life!

It's been a very depressing day, actually, the only thing keeping me going are my child and these readings from Eli. Haven't seen him since last night however. Strange...

Throw myself back into Eli's writings, that'll do--even if it does make my head spin, at least it keeps me busy.

Here is what I read from his notes on the Ixion stone.(I'd spelled it wrong, it's Ixion not Ixiom, see, that's just me, then again I never finished school, haha). It's so intense. It makes sense but sheesh!

Meanwhile the spinners of time, known as the three fates, saw that someone had begun to unravel their spinning, the one called never-turn-back, also known as Atropos, took immediate action and cut the thread of Callisto's life at a point just prior to finding the Ixion stone. Then the spinners went on with their work.

There is a story about King Ixion which explains why this stone is so dangerous:

Ixion had thrown his father-in-law into a fiery pit. He went to Tartarus for the crime but Zues gave him a second chance and purified him of the crime. But rather than be thankful for this divine favor, he tried to seduce Zeus's wife. Hera warned her husband what was afoot, and Zeus fashioned a cloud into Hera's likeness. Ixion made a pass at the cloud and was caught in the act. He was immediately consigned to the underworld for punishment in Tartarus, chained to a fiery wheel. Moral of the story: Even if you could go into the past you would still make the same mistakes.

From that time it became impossible to undo the past, but the stone upon which Ixion stood must have been endowed with special powers because of this purification by Zeus, which meant that the fates had to be ever vigilant.


PHEW! My head is spinning and my wrist hurts from copying that all down! But damn, that makes a lot of sense!

I need a walk in the woods. But first I'll copy a letter I wrote back to Eli. In all of this, he and Joxer are the only ones who ever made any sense--well, except Gabrielle.(sigh). The child is a girl, I can feel it, and she will bear Gabrielle's name. I'll do that for her, for Eli and for Xena--as well as for Joxer. it's the least I can do--no matter how many mistakes I made, this child will not carry them. She will be a child of light, of great power, natural power--and bravery! Yes! SHe will shine, and bring life and light and humor to everyone she meets, and no one will have any hatred for her because she will be incapable of fostering hatred. THat is my aim, and that is my GOAL!

Here is my letter to the man of Truth.

Dear Eli,
Thank you for all you've done for me, standing by me, believing in me when few others have. I never believed much of what you were trying to say to me, still to this day some of it goes over my head, but I'm learning. My children will be raised in the way of love. I won't tell them not to fight--in this world, one must learn how to survive, as well as enjoy themselves, and bring good humor to their companions. But their goal will always be clear--as mine never was until now.
thank you, and may many blessings fall upon you.
love
Minya

Hmm, wonder if Joxer will come for a walk with me? THere's a great stream in the center of the wood, very secluded--hey--a little pick me up?

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Free Madness,

Quite an eventful walk it was.
Both Joxer and Pauly did come with me, we had a great swim in the lake--and quite a few other things besides a swim. Pauly is very umm, imaginative, as is Joxer, I just knew they'd hit it off! Once she got over her jealousy which was amazing how fast that happened(funny how tragic events change you...) we all just kind of--bonded. Of course, my lurve skills are still undisputed!
Then what happens, we're coming out to air dry and we see--yup--those two drunks from yesterday. They had forgotten who we were and what they told us, but one thing was on their minds--yup--ME! And Pauly. Well like i said i did lose a lot of weight, although I'm not as toned as Gabby was, i'm pretty tough looking. not that i was ever FLABBY per se, i was always muscular, but i look a lot smaller in the waist and even the legs. Not the boobs though thank GOD! Guess my bod made them wanna stick around and see if they could, uhh, join the party. Of course Paulina, well, she can give even Gabs a run for her money in the bod department! Well--MY personal opinion, anyway.
Joxer lost it--i've never seen him so mad. Clumsy and all, he just ran right at those guys and tackled them to the ground. They wrestled with him for awhile, and i hate to say that if they hadn't been so drunk they might have gotten in a few good punches. But i ran up to them just in case. I thought I'd give Jox a chance to prove his manhood though, it's only right, I think sometimes he likes that, to be able to defend a woman's honor. Damn, this pregnancy is turning me soft!
Pauly though, she went all Xenalike on their butts, when they squirmed away from Joxer and ran after us, she kicked Barto where it hurts and twisted the other geezer's nose. Then she spun around(that play of Gabby's got to her a little too much--never got out of that Xena role, did she?), and kicked the nose geezer in the face. They were kind of worrying me cuz they just kinda stood there and took it--well I know when people do that they're stalling--so I stepped up then, and stood next to her. They kind of went ballistic then, and Barto grabbed me and flung me over his shoulder. Pauly screamed and started beating on him, at which point the other geezer seized her and flung her to the ground.
NO way, I thought, then FLIPPED out of this dude's arms, and landed smack on my bare feet, right on a pile of little rocks.
OW.
Ignoring the pain, I pushed Barto aside, then ran to the other dork, and kicked him in the face. HARD. My feet are strong, even bare. He cried out in surprise, and fell back. I seized him and pulled him up, shaking him a little before i landed him a solid kick in the nuts, and a good right hook in the eye.
That HAD to hurt.
But I seriously wished I had my whip with me. As for Barto, Joxer was making short work of him. Barto got a couple good punches in, but Jox, arms flailing wildly, managed to knock Barto right in the nose and cause blood to gush. Barto freaked, then, so did his friend, apparently they both hate blood, haha, oops. Well Joxer simply turned Barto around and gave him a good kick in the bum. Then he grabbed the other geezer--and did the same thing to him.
"And don't come back!" He shouted, as they ran far away into the woods.
We shared a good laugh--God that felt good to get that out of our system!
"Sheesh," I said. "I never fought naked before."
"You did it well," Paulina said looking at me in admiration. "Then again, you always did," she giggled.
I gave her a kiss then--and that pretty much set the scene for a repeat performance!

Afterwards, the three of us put our clothes back on and walked back to the Inn.
"You know," I said to Joxer, "that was the best fighting you have ever done. I think it's because you were naked."
"Minya, you are blunt, but I love you!" Joxer guffawed.
"No, really," I said. "All that armor--kind of gets in ya way don'tcha think?"
Joxer blushed. "I don't mind fighting naked in front of you and Pauly, Minya but--as for Eli--I don't really want him to know EVERYTHING about me, ya know?"
We shared a good hard belly laugh, the three of us.
"Well all right, just wear very little then," I chortled.
Joxer's face fell. "Gabrielle did that."
Bleeh. He got depressed then, and we walked back kind of solemn. When we got to our room, however, a surprise waited for us. THis perked Joxer right up.
It was a marmoset, named Buffy. A solstice gift from Dite's Afro. Gotta love her!
So we spent the night making blueberry ambrosia, and talking about just everything. We are definitely going after Caesar. Tomorrow, we set out. No elaborate plans, just find him and kick his arse. With this plan set in motion, Joxer is able to focus.
I may leave some for Xena. But she seems to have tossed him aside for Alti. Well--Caesar will get the brunt of my wrath then--for Joxer as well as poor Gabs.
If he's not in Poteidaia anymore, he is on his way to Rome. Good enough. We will set out for there--tomorrow.
Now we're going to walk this ambrosia over to Dite's Afro's shrine. She'll eat good tonight! Then--more love poo and tomorrow--ACTION!

I may question those two geezers too. I have a feeling they know far more than they said they did.
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA I can feel my blood coursing with excitement! At last--a REAL battle!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Free Madness,

He did it. He actually--DID it!
It's one damn thing to kick a couple drunken butts. Another entirely to KILL--Julius Caesar of Rome.
I was kind of hoping we would capture him and do a bit of torture for a while--I was actually looking forward to using my whip on this geezer--leaving the very last bit to Xena whenever she found the plot....but Joxer got a bit uh carried away. EEK!
I'm worried about him. Killing is not his forte. He only did it once before and that was harsh for him. Xena had been there, and she was good to him at the time, a good friend, but he had barely gotten over that--now this.
(sigh)
My poor Joxer, will he lose his mind? Please God don't let him.

Still, all things considered, our plan definitely DID work! Uhh, a little too well, but it worked!

We were supposed to look llike the bumbling idiots everyone thinks we are--right down to the donkey AND the heavy pregnancy! But Caesar is probably the biggest bumbling idiot of them all. EVERYONE knows that a newly pregnant woman does NOT show for a long time.... Even if I am carrying a half god in my belly, it doesn't show up in a matter of weeks. Of course it is starting to show a little, well my stomach is slightly protruded now--but i'm certainly not HEAVY with pregnancy! But I wanted to do that, I wanted to see if he'd buy it. So I bought a VERY large maternity dress and stuck a pillow underneath. I jumped around like an idiot. Apparently, rumors of my pregnancy and whose child I was carrying had traveled to Rome. Something about the way Caesar looked at me even if he was smirking--does he still think Ares is his daddio? Probably doesn't want to mess with his "little bro or sis" hehe ANOTHER part of my plan! No one understands Minya better than me--and my few friends--and that is how I LIKE it!

I'm wondering if I should allow myself just one glass of rum tonight. Just a teensy one. There are so many freaky things going on now. I saw this geezer with a big HUGE cut on his head walking aruond--sheesh, that cut should have been the death of him! And I can't get Eli out of my mind...

Crying jags are a BITCH! But I hate not knowing what's up with him, not having been able to say a proper goodbye. I left him a long letter which i stuck under his door--and a huge bottle of rum. Poor old Eli, he needs to kick back and relax every now and then.

(sigh)
I think I'll read some more of the mumbo jumbo he left for me--long letter, that was, but very sweet--and the more I read of it the more sense it makes. I tell ya, the way i've been feeling today--I actually hated seeing Caesar die like that, choke on his blood, but a part of me also relished it, almost wanted it for....
Xena.
I wanted to see HER die like that, under my child's hand. What in the world is THAT about?

Well I think it's just the stress, getting to me. Joxer is having a sob and drinking large quantities of rum. I think i'll go join him--maybe have a sip--or maybe not, actually I've rather liked being clearheaded lately--I'm able to remember more of what we do at night--which is hmmm more interesting than I thought it was! I think if I can get him thinking about this baby--he is VERY excited about being a daddy--at least I can get him into some perspective. Something to work towards. Our little one, new life.
Here goes nothing.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Free Madness,

I find myself shaking in fear. For some reason i just fell to my knees crying, and praying. Calling out to God for help--help me, help my child. Help Joxer.
Please see us through. Allow this beautiful child to florish in love, love of her mother and father(her REAL father, Joxer, even if her blood father is Ares. Whoever raises the child, that is where she will come from.)

Eli, Eli, I hope you're all right. As I read more of your letter, my heart fills with fear and remorse for my past mistakes. It's a great sadness, and yet it's also relief--to let go of that ignorance.
I'm scared witless--for the soul of my child. I have no doubt that her being Ares's daughter will cause forces of evil to try to take her. I already feel that happening now, even after just three weeks! Thoughts that go through my head, thoughts that are not my own.

Yes, a healer did confirm that I'm pregnant. Now that I'm starting to show ever so little, he is even convinced(the healer) that it has to be a God's child. A mortal child wouldn't show that fast.

Joxer has pulled himself together somewhat--for my sake. He knows me to be strong, and he cannot stand to see me break like this, so he'll do everything in his power to be there for me. We must keep our minds and eye on the greater goal. THat is all we can do for now.

Eli wherever you are, may God bless you. I feel your love for us, even miles away. You are the only one that makes sense right now. Take care of Xena if you can.
love
Minya

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Free Madness,

I don't know what comes over me sometimes.

Caesar is dead, that's all that's important! Well--for now. Well it's a good thing I have good reflexes, however clumsy I can be sometimes. Joxer and I stood there for a few minutes, stupified--then I just snapped out of it and grabbed him. We took off. I think everyone was too stunned at what Joxer did to follow us although I did hear footsteps behind me. Still, we kept running, we even left the donkey behind, well he's kind of slow and we need to be fast. Finally, finally, we got back to our camp. No one was behind us then.

I don't know what made me want to run--something freaky about that place. Something I just didn't want to know about.

We're not staying long though. One night, then we will go further, to find Eli again. Then, we'll see if there's any chance at all of dealing with Alti.
And we didn't even bump into Livia. Good enough--if we had, I might have killed her, in the fevered battle rage I was in. She deserves a fighting chance--she's Xena's daughter, and Eli wants to help her.
Odd, though--that sensation back there with Caesar--like something was keeping me from attacking him. I can't for the life of me remember what it was. But damn, I felt pretty guilty about it, seeing what killing him did to joxer.

Still--I think he'll be all right now. I hope!

Pauly had stayed behind while we went and dealt with him--at my insistance. SHe pouted abuot it of course but tough nuggies. I'm NOT risking losing her, end of story. She may have some skills, but too bad, she's not joining us in real battle--til i say she's ready. Joxer is different, he's experienced, clumsy as he can be. But Pauly--she's a bit innocent. I want to keep it that way as long as possible.

She left us alone to recuperate while she went off to hunt--she can do that, I'll allow her to kill an animal for us,but not a person. Then, she came back with two rabbits--we ate heartily, and then....
Well, let's just say we were able to throw off the heaviness. WHAT a bloody relief!

Pauly has skills even Joxer doesn't, and he's a quick study! Well--all this is healthy enough for me! i'm getting even better, probably with all the clarity I have now--not drinking so much. Never thought I wouldn't miss the booze--but this is more fun than I thought it would be! Gotta love it!
We woke up later to find the rest of our rabbit gone though. Buffy stole it. I need to put that little creature to work stealing VALUABLE things, rather than our meat!
Hmmmm....my tenatious little mind is working even as we speak.
More later!

THAT BITCH!
She took him. OH she took him. Paulina is stalling, she's really scared here. DAMMIT ALL TO HADES! I'LL KILL HER DEAD!
Pauly is hysterical here. Dammit! Of course she is, she's not used to this crap! now i've gotta sort her out and all! DAMMIT ALL! Meanwhile HADES knows what that bloodthirsty bitch is doing to my man!!

Dammit we should have gotten FAR FAR away. FARRR away. i didn't want to have to hurt Xena's daughter. I believed Eli when he said she had a chance. Well now--i'm not so sure.

I can't think about that now.

DAMMIT ALL! Enough of this. We gotta go to Rome. THat evil Roman bitch is going to regret the day she was even conceived!

Sorry Xena. But my babe needs a father. And Justice must be done. Stupid? Maybe. But not if I do it right.....

i got a love pooooo hangover, baby
i got a luuuuuuuuv poo hangover, baby!

love poo hangovers are great things! Care for some blueberry wine--hair of the dog hehe?

i barely have any time here, this diary is for those who find it--if I die in battle, my last recorded entries will be remembered.
Xena is back, well sheesh the third chakram???
Damn. What was Dite talking to her about? Hell if I know, i'm still reeling from what she said about my child. Bad vibes? That worries me. And why the hell did eli's head fall off like that????
Dammit.
I need a drink. Oooo I wish! Rum Ambrosia--that'd be a lovely diversion.

no one will tell me anything. Xena sent us back to the hut, well she does have my best interest at heart, that is good(poor thing, what has Gabrielle's death done to her? She looks terrible.)--but what about Alti? She took Eli's head....
i want to go after her and get it back but no one will LET me! Joxer even lost his rag at me, telling me i need to slow down, rest, recup for the child's sake. Well hell, it took us long enough to finally get into the action--it's hard to just let it go! And I feel strong. I feel great actually, like i can go all day and all night!!

I just wish someone would tell me how the HELL eli got his head cut off! i asked Xena and she just kind of snarled at me. "Don't ask so many questions--just take care of yourself!"
Bleh.
i don't like this. The gods only know what the hell Alti is doing to Eli's head. As for his body, Dite is keeping that safe thank God, but sheesh, this is not good, not good at all.

I've refrained from drinking, I have no coping mechanisms other than fighting and lovemaking. but Jox and Pauly are so tired and worn out with all that's happened to them--I can't blame them, but sheesh it is frustrating!

*sigh*. All right, I'll do some more reading, that should help. Then I'll go talk to Dite's Afro. I have a craving for a blueberry tart with worcestershire sauce and sour cream. Maybe some raw fish on the side, with blueberry sauce.
We have a lot in common, her and I, our love for passion and blueberries being among them! At least I can use my cullinary skills--that's another way to blow off steam--cook. And she enjoys my cooking! Well that's a blessing all by itself!

*EDITOR'S NOTE: recently i decided to eliminate what i said earlier about seeing eli after xena met up with him--because his getting his head cut off was something that happened AFTER that diary entry. I tried to improvise for awhile by saying he reattached his own head but then his head was written as going to Alti's camp. For the sake of less confusion, I've eliminated Minya's knowledge completely of what happened to Eli at the hands of Xena.*

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Free Madness,

My Dear Minya, Woman of Exceeding Power,

I'm sorry we can't talk right now as my head is otherwise occupied, but I wanted you to know that your deeds of courage, in the face of overwhelming odds, have preceded you into heaven. It is my prayer that you will continue in the way you have chosen. But if your path becomes obscured, remember that you only need look to God's wisdom to find your way again.

I am including a link to some more reading for you. It contains a few passages about Angels. These are created beings that worship God eternally, and act as helper to those He loves. You may not always know that they are there, in fact you may despair at times that all is lost, but resist. The morning will come and you will be saved.

There is one angel in particular that you should know about. He goes by many names. In this passage he is called "the anointed cherub." His other names are Lucifer, the devil, Satan, even Dahok.

You will see that he was a very beautiful being once. He had it all, but he lost everything trying to be more than he was. Don't be fooled by this one, Minya. He seeks to destroy everything beautiful. He is the father of lies, and there is no truth in him. Resist him and you will overcome him.

Hugs and, well… hugs,

Love,
Eli

Passages about Angels

Blessed Eli. How are you my good friend? Is Alti treating your head with any respect at all? Who cut off your head, dear friend?

I got some writings from Eli, sent to the hut by someone--Dite's Afro brought them to me. She didn't look me in the eye when she handed them to me either. Weird.

Dite's Afro hasn't said much about my child lately but she goes out of her way to avoid the topic. It really scares me--lately I've been feeling kind of confused. I mean--I know what my purpose is on Earth, to do good to the world and all my friends, but--but--sometimes when I think of my child, I'm filled with this incredible loathing of the people around me--no not all of them, not Joxer or Pauly or Dite's Afro, but definitely Xena--and others I've met. It's wackadoodle.

Well I read this passage about lucifer or the fallen angel and I just have to copy it down, even though it's long. It scares the shite out of me!

You were the seal of perfection,
Full of wisdom and perfect in beauty.
13 You were in Eden, the garden of God;
Every precious stone was your covering:
The sardius, topaz, and diamond,
Beryl, onyx, and jasper,
Sapphire, turquoise, and emerald with gold.
The workmanship of your timbrels and pipes
Was prepared for you on the day you were created.
14 "You were the anointed cherub who covers;
I established you;
You were on the holy mountain of God;
You walked back and forth in the midst of fiery stones.
15 You were perfect in your ways from the day you were created,
Till iniquity was found in you.
16 "By the abundance of your trading
You became filled with violence within,
And you sinned;
Therefore I cast you as a profane thing
Out of the mountain of God;
And I destroyed you, O covering cherub,
From the midst of the fiery stones.
17 "Your heart was lifted up because of your beauty;
You corrupted your wisdom for the sake of your splendor;
I cast you to the ground,
I laid you before kings,
That they might gaze at you.
18 "You defiled your sanctuaries
By the multitude of your iniquities,
By the iniquity of your trading;
Therefore I brought fire from your midst;
It devoured you,
And I turned you to ashes upon the earth
In the sight of all who saw you.
19 All who knew you among the peoples are astonished at you;
You have become a horror,
And shall be no more forever." ' "

EEK! EEK!(my hand hurts). I saw my child like that, full of perfection and beauty. Perfect in every way. What the HELL! I don't understand what it all means but sheesh!

I'm kind of scared right now. Tears actually fill my eyes. THank goodness Jox and Pauly are taking a nap, and Dite's off doing love poo somewhere. I could use some alone time.

What the hell does all this mean???

I'm scared. Please help me God, and Eli, please be all right!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Free Madness,

YOu gotta love Dite's Afro, she is awesome. She saw i was bummed, so she made it snow outside for me--I've always loved snow! She said it would only last a night, can't tamper with nature too much after all, but it did cheer me up!
Joxer and Pauly feel a bit better--well ok Pauly was a little hesitant to make love, I kind of put my emotions aside to deal with her on that one. THe rape obviously messed up her head. Ooooo, the urge to kill those romans! But i calmed down, I had to for Pauly's sake. She has been there for me, a great team player. I'll do anything in my power to help her.

Dite's Afro to the rescue again! She healed Pauly's mind even more than it had been--totally cleared her up. Bless her! So--it was quite a passionate night. Quite.

Dite's Afro told me she thinks Eli's head is fine, and that Alti and Xena are linked in more ways than meets the eye. But she won't say much else--that's all right though. For now.

Still....must recup tonight then get ready to sort this mess out. i'm not leaving it go forever. Can't do that now that I'm in the action. Xena or no Xena. If I can, I'm getting that head back.

Dite laughs at me for being so gung ho--"hey it shouldn't surprise me, you're carrying the god of war's child, yada yada yada." I have been rather battle crazed lately--still after my last encounter with Livia, I think I've learned a thing or two about being TOO impulsive. Gotta have strategy after all.

ONWARD!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Free Madness,

How the HELL can I rescue Eli's head if no one will let me go??
I love Joxer, but he's getting quite overprotective here. He's all worried that Alti will mess with my baby. Hey--she may be powerful but that kid triumphed against Livia....
Actually that's what Joxer's afraid of, that the "nasty vibes" Dite's Afro referred to wtih this babe is because of Alti. Then again it could be a lot of things, things I really don't want to think about...
Bleeh, never mind, I just want to get this done. I have no idea what Xena is doing right now. Probably still trying to bond with Livia, save her soul--if it can be saved.....
Dite's Afro said to me, "Hey anything is possible look at Xena!" Then she kind of looked sad after that. THere's something she's not telling me--and I am tired of secrets!!
Well, regardless, I'll have to think of a clever way to get Eli's head out of there. WITHOUT drawing attention to myself. I mentioned this to the others and they kind of laughed--affectionately, but they laughed, and said, "Minya, that isn't your forte you know."
Well who says it can't be?? Who says people can't change and improve with time? "Anything is possible, look at Xena!"

Enough said--I need to put this plan into action.

Dite's Afro is not a happy camper, uh oh. The body of Eli seems to have wandered off. But where'd it go??

Dite's Afro won't say, but I heard her grumbling something about Livia. Oh? Hmmmm.

So now i have a head AND a body to go rescue.

Works for me....

Mins, i'm thinking about producing an off Athens play called "The Phat-head of the Opera". Starring Eli's head and yourself. You can be the singer who yank's the Alti-mask from the Phat-head as he plays the piano or whatever. Is that tubular or too much eggnogular?

dizzy in Olympus,
dite's afro

hehehe, Dite's Afro is a true trip! She has this idea for a play--we should write it together!(knowing Pauly she'll want a starring role too, lil diva that she is...) When this is all over, i mean hey, Eli is Asklepios, I'm sure he can remove his head anytime he wants.....
Eli has a wicked sense of humor too especially when drunk.

Must think about that--when I'm done rescuing the head and shoulders--er, body...

Damn kid keeps kicking! That lil Ares spawn packs a PUNCH! And these cravings....y'know---it's one thing to crave weird Earth food but to start craving food I can only get on Olympus as well....sheeeeeesh! Thank the gods Dite's Afro has been kind enough to sneak some morsels down for me--but sheesh, some of that food I can only eat if I'm a god! Bleh. Luck of the draw, I guess.

Anyway--onward and upward!

Everyone's all worried about how fast this baby is coming--what the hell? Isn't this a half god? Or--why the hell are people looking at me like that???

I swear, these people....what am I saying? They're my friends, Joxer's my man, why am I being so grouchy with them? DAMN hormones! I wish I could drink.

Why the hell--this baby is warm, it's hot--it's trying to--

Oh crapola. I gotta go. HERRRRRRRRE"S GABBY!

My Joxer is dead.
What have I done? Going to sleep like that, not protecting him. And my child--good God...
Eli is really gung-ho about this. I feel honorbound to listen to him after all he did for me. He tells me that Joxer would have wanted me to love this child, love the evil out of her. Oh God. What must it have been like, all the life being ripped out of him like that? Why are mortals allowed to die again? WHY DID JOXER HAVE TO DIE?

I sit here, Paulina crying hysterically and gulping rum, Eli sitting across from me writing. Gabrielle is asleep, finally. She really took to Eli in the end. And what about Alti? Oh, she'll be back. With those powers? Surely.

I try to hold on to hope--not that I understand why--how can there be hope without Joxer? The father of my child--whether by blood or no--what now? Oh, God. I have no idea what to do. I can hardly look into her beautiful face, those innocent eyes, without feeling sick. Poor Joxer. What a shame. How can I love his killer?

God of Eli, watch over me.

As for Hope, and Xena, they were gone when we came back, God knows where they went. Eli seems to trust that Hope won't hurt Xena because of Alti. THe time is not right.

And where the hell has Dite's Afro been??

Sadness, great despair--and time to partake in some much needed drink!
If Paulina hasn't drunk it all....