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Scroll Tragic |
Well good luck with it... My younger bro is writing a War of 1812 re-enactors novel.... Yah he's late by @ 10 years but .... he will ONLY do something with vigor if its guaranteed to fail... He actually WAITED until it couldnt possibly be ready on time & THEN started it... He ALWAYS seems to learn the wrong lesson from EVERYTHING that happens to him & anyone he knows.. he is 59 has NEVER lived any where but with Momma......a narcissistic tyrant.... He is her WAY WAY overly devoted lil man-servant. I only mention alla this because he said the most clueless & funny thing to me this month. " I wish I had a more normal family..." Referring to every one else ....whos NOT those 2.., I dont think there is any hope for him.. He is a TOTAL upper class twit... with no money & little class... Why is it easier to fool the masses than it is to convince them that they have been fooled...? | |||
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Scroll Guardian  |
What if, what the FRIG is a normal family???  What if, everyone has a story about their family, and every story has it's own unique flavor? What if one of my pet peeves is those who either defend their family to the death even when they are clearly wackjobs, even disrespectful to all includin' themselves...or make like they be the only ones on Earth with family drama??? What if ahhh, those narcissists, can't live with them, can't run them over with your car? What if, knowing them, they'd prolly crawl out from under the wheel all zombified, yelling, "Thanks for the ride!!!"   "Even when you're down and blue, just remember that someone out there loves you, even if you don't know it and even if you haven't yet met them. There's someone out there waiting for you, remember that and keep faith. You'll get there." ~~Johnny Depp. | |||
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| Scroll Guardian |
What if, okay, I'm getting pop-up windows when I open the scrolls...ads or something??? What if...it gives me the option to "skip the ad" so thankfully I'm able to post but it's something that should be looked into anywho, in case it's a virus??? What if I have adblocker so at first the ads were blocked but I couldn't make the pop up go away so I could post?  What if that never happened on the scrolls before? What if I hope it's not some sinister conspiracy thingie from government secret service agencies...ahhhh the fodder for which writers can create!!!!  What if, speaking of writing, I wish xc all the best with his story, and hope we can read it someday? What if...my head is so full of circus clowns, bearded ladies, vertically challenged soldiers on horses calling people "flopdoodle" one minute and singing the next...then Hugh Jackman comes in and it's all history??? What if, I'm only normal when I can write this stuff down? What if I may try what xc's doing and not listen to music while I write? What if cuz music fills me with many images, maybe the less stimulation the better, for the sake of focus? What if hey, whatever works!!!! "Even when you're down and blue, just remember that someone out there loves you, even if you don't know it and even if you haven't yet met them. There's someone out there waiting for you, remember that and keep faith. You'll get there." ~~Johnny Depp. | |||
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| Scroll Guardian |
what if family matters can be complicated or they can be fun? mama xc was really the only family i had since papa xc passed nearly 25 yrs ago. i have relatives, mostly scattered across the USA, but i don't feel much like i have a family anymore now that mama xc is gone. i have Natalie Adele- who mama xc loved- and i guess she is all the family i will have til i'm gone. i'm up at 160 pages written in my story. Some characters live in Philly- they're mobsters or more like wanna-be mobsters. So far, the other continuing characters live in Indhickiana, Oregon, Florida, Maryland and Maine. But i'm still on the first draft of book one. i mostly been listening to music at work but i'm gonna try to get back in the old habit at home. Lotta great new albums out now- Ty Segall, Yo La Tengo, MGMT, Dodson & Fogg, Calbro 35, etc. Not enough time for all the music & writing i wanna do. | |||
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| Scroll Guardian |
What if I have Argy in my Skype contacts and I messaged her about those pop up windows earlier??? What if I didn't get a reply, but I guess she got the message cuz I didn't see them this time(touching wood?) What if that email thing she put up for letting her know things on the scrolls didn't work last time I tried to use it and besides the scrolls weren't cooperating well when the pop ups were happenin anywho??? What if, well, thanks Argy or whatever gods that be for vanquishing the annoying pop up ads??? What if...now, back to my own stories? "Even when you're down and blue, just remember that someone out there loves you, even if you don't know it and even if you haven't yet met them. There's someone out there waiting for you, remember that and keep faith. You'll get there." ~~Johnny Depp. | |||
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| Scroll Guardian |
"Even when you're down and blue, just remember that someone out there loves you, even if you don't know it and even if you haven't yet met them. There's someone out there waiting for you, remember that and keep faith. You'll get there." ~~Johnny Depp. | |||
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| Scroll Tragic |
What if I suspect you have a browser...parasite....? What if I run Linux & CANT use an Anti-virus program... What if None exist for Linux...{If that DOESNT tempt you nothing will} What if I kept getting browser hi-jacks doing all sorts of crappy things to my Firefox..? What if I cured it by emptying the browser cache & ....resetting its amount allowed to 0 MBs. What if I dont run the newer Quantum Firefox.....versions 57 on so I dont know if youi can still kill your browser cache.. What if you clean it out even once your Anti-virus should keep you pretty safe. What if you Google this type of thing {Cache Clean up} so you can learn how to make it go away....if you dont awready know how..? Why is it easier to fool the masses than it is to convince them that they have been fooled...? | |||
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| Scroll Tragic |
What if I do not have a 'fun' family.... they ALL take themselves Way too seriously & cant see their own flaws... What if that leads to alot of blaming others instead of looking for solutions or lookin in the mirror. What if now that Im grown up Im actually GLAD I was everyone's least favorite....it has reduced the damage they did to me...LoL What if I doubt Ill miss any of them much when theyre gone...Tho I feel sorry for my little brother... What if he's basically a good egg & deservers better than the mind-fuck he has been given. What if on to the music portion of tonight's broadcast. What if I dont really encounter much new music that I like.. | |||
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| Scroll Guardian |
What if thanks, Brucy, I used to use Firefox and before that internet explorer...now I use Chrome? What if I never used Linux but I knew someone who would constantly swear by it...maybe I'll try it some day? What if I will try cleaning out the cache on Chrome too and see what happens but thankfully the pop ups have gone away anywho? What if I do need to get a new antivirus program tho...I had Sophos which Staples makes and came with my computer but it's not working now for some reason? What if, ah the joys of not living in the "dinosaur age" anymore...I fantasize about going into a coffee shop, sitting near a bunch of 20 somethings and mentioning the Dewey Decimal System just to see their confused faces?   What if, then I'll take a pic on my phone just to capture the moment??? What if Brucy, your family sounds a lot like mine??? What if there was supposed to be a big snowstorm today so everything got cancelled but look outside, it's a big nothing??? What if...that's Pennsylvania for ya!!!! "Even when you're down and blue, just remember that someone out there loves you, even if you don't know it and even if you haven't yet met them. There's someone out there waiting for you, remember that and keep faith. You'll get there." ~~Johnny Depp. | |||
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| Scroll Guardian |
what if i had a fun family when it was just mama xc, Natalie Adele (or Mariah the cat before her) and me. Other relatives spoiled the brew mostly, with the exception of my California niece those rare time she was here mostly life sucks anymore & i'm too often considering a quick exit out. just not the xc i used to be, huh? when the writing & the music aren't enough to sustain me, well, i dunno, oh well, sorry for the downer post | |||
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| Scroll Guardian |
What if I actually almost considered a quick exit out myself last year so I know how ya feel, xc??? What if...but if it helps...it's just giving the arseholes what THEY want, whoever they may be at any given time??? What if, so here's my thought, live in SPITE of them AND the lemons? What if, even if life sucks, sometimes you can make the most of what you know, and if you have to tell ppl to shut the fark up now and then, do it??? What if, I watched Dolores Claibourne last night(circa 1995, Kathy Bates and Jennifer Jason Leigh...Jen was always a hottie ooof)? What if seriously I learned a lot from that movie, depressing tho it was...particularly that line, "sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold onto?" What if I'd take that to another level. Sometimes when life sucks lemons and you're left alone to pick up the pieces, just say well fark, I don't HAVE to be happy about it but dammit you have a right to be alive and if other people tell you what to do, tell 'em to fark off and you'll feel better!!! What if, THEN do something creative or otherwise good for YOU...be selfish before you give to others. What if...okay not trying to be Dear Abby, just saying there's ways to live in spite of the lemons. What if, plus I think the world'd be pretty suckage without you in it, altho if arseholes like those mass murderers who shoot up high schools, rapists, pedophiles, narcissists and other evildoers wanna take early exits, I certainly wouldn't cry!!!! "Even when you're down and blue, just remember that someone out there loves you, even if you don't know it and even if you haven't yet met them. There's someone out there waiting for you, remember that and keep faith. You'll get there." ~~Johnny Depp. | |||
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| Scroll Guardian |
What if I've often wished I had at least ONE close family member, but never did? What if at one point in high school my sister and I were the best of friends but she's since gone zombie narcissist on me so I can't trust her? What if I had a pretty bad memory come up about my father yesterday morning that rocked both mine and Nick's day?  What if, I'll withhold the details for now but it's ironic he has Alzheimer's and sometimes I think that's more of a blessing than a curse? What if, cuz if I confronted him about it, he wouldn't remember anyway.  What if, and even so I wouldn't WANNA confront him on it, what's he gonna say, "you're lying, I'm sorry," whaaaat? What if, so I'm better off saying my bye byes to him now in my own way, really...cuz when it all comes down to it, I didn't really have the family I used to think I had? What if others in my life were more family than my own family...and at least I have stuff I can do creatively when the chips fall down? What if, prolly why STephen King is one of the best authors for me to read??? "Even when you're down and blue, just remember that someone out there loves you, even if you don't know it and even if you haven't yet met them. There's someone out there waiting for you, remember that and keep faith. You'll get there." ~~Johnny Depp. | |||
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| Scroll Guardian |
what if exiting this world is on my mind almost 24/7 anymore? Sadness & grief is just an easy thing to continuously deal with. As for Stephen King, i'd recommend Charles de Lint as an alternative. He also deals in urban fantasy but has more realistic characters, bringing in myths, legends, spirits and the like. His most recent novel deals a lot in Native American culture. His books often have reoccurring characters and a mythology that mixes old European spirits with those of Native American. He's probably my favorite writer who's still releasing new books these days. | |||
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| Scroll Guardian |
What if holy CRAP, he sounds right up my alley!!!! Thanks!!!! What if I'm gonna get a bigger phone but Kindle is very convenient even if I still like turning pages(and bending, and dog-earing, those things people "hate," but hell a book isn't a book unless it's lived in!!! )"Even when you're down and blue, just remember that someone out there loves you, even if you don't know it and even if you haven't yet met them. There's someone out there waiting for you, remember that and keep faith. You'll get there." ~~Johnny Depp. | |||
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| Scroll Guardian |
What if the latest book I'm reading is a paranormal fantasy called "A Spell of Trouble" by Leighann Dobbs and Traci Douglass? What if I don't know either ONE of those authors but I almost wonder if they know someone in my family or a friend of a family member? What if the main characters all have the surname of Quinn and the love interest of the female protagonist is named Dex Nolan? What if Nolan is my mom's maiden name and Quinn of course is my surname??? What if...and Isolde, the main character is also a character in one of my favorite operas??? What if Dex is short for Dexter, that awesome Showtime drama that I recently discovered and am watching all the reruns? What if lol, ok maybe I need to make more friends lmao, rather than just one boyfriend? What if I never saw all those synchronicities in a book before tho...weird? What if lol, well back to the word docs!!!! "Even when you're down and blue, just remember that someone out there loves you, even if you don't know it and even if you haven't yet met them. There's someone out there waiting for you, remember that and keep faith. You'll get there." ~~Johnny Depp. | |||
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| Scroll Tragic |
what if I understand after a fashion.....most of us go thru a very tuff time...at least once. what if I have some semi-lame suggestions...  what if I make an AA suggestion...1 day @ a Time...just make it thru today....? what if eventually your soul will heal some....? what if maybe dont just sit around thinkin about how awful you feel...Do Stuff ? what if Im sure mama xc would want you to be as happy as possible. what if just get outside if you havent been.... go to a park feed some squirrels or some nuts ? what if Im sure there some nuts in Indiana rite..?? what if maybe help out at an animal shelter.....even just pet the cats... what if Im sure theyre scared & bored & would LOVE your company..they cant even understand whats going on? what if its uplifting to feel useful...to do good..?...Ask Trump...LoL what if this too shall pass....like I said Im alone for days on end.... what if feelin lousy all winter & worrying about death from the flu I have only gassed up my van twice so far this year..LoL what if I dont see/speak with anyone for up to a week..... what if Im actually starting to LIKE it that way......you know.... people......theyre kinda over-rated...? what if see ya soon..? Why is it easier to fool the masses than it is to convince them that they have been fooled...? | |||
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| Scroll Guardian |
What if I agree with Brucy on getting out and breathing air...air is a good thing? What if people are cool depending on the people but in droves and in big cities, that's why I tend to not socialize much? What if, just gonna say this tho...xc, if you ever need to blow off steam or whatnot, feel free to reach out anytime? What if I'm a pretty good listener even if I babble a lot at other times? "Even when you're down and blue, just remember that someone out there loves you, even if you don't know it and even if you haven't yet met them. There's someone out there waiting for you, remember that and keep faith. You'll get there." ~~Johnny Depp. | |||
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| Scroll Guardian |
What if Nick and I had a deep conversation that couldn't have come at a better time??? What if neither of us were ready for what we thought we were? What if there are no words for how RELIEVED I am knowing that I'm not the only one who wasn't ready for this? What if, cuz he was so loving and doting and telling me how I'm the one for him and he's waited for me all his life...holy crap, THAT is a lot to live up to!!!!! What if I realized something horrible that I've done all my life...modeled myself after not Wonder Woman, not Pippi Longstocking and DEFINITELY not Xena...but farking goddam provincial CINDERELLA? What if, the handsome prince AIN'T comin,' there is NO pot of gold, there is no Rosebud, at the end of the day it's just me and no one else but? What if, that's really not a bad thing considering I didn't turn out so bad? What if, I could have been worse, a serial killer or a lying golddigger or both? What if, so now I'm looking for rooms to rent where they'll take me and my two cats for not so horribly high a price...so far, possibilities are good? What if, also need to ask if my Xhubs will buy me out of the house by the month, that'll help expenses!!! What if, hopefully by the end of April the divorce decree will be in???? What if THAT will be a celebration along with Mayday!!!! This message has been edited. Last edited by: Free Madness, "Even when you're down and blue, just remember that someone out there loves you, even if you don't know it and even if you haven't yet met them. There's someone out there waiting for you, remember that and keep faith. You'll get there." ~~Johnny Depp. | |||
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| Scroll Guardian |
Thanks for the comments, Kate and BrucE, i'll say more when i can. | |||
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| Scroll Guardian |
What if I'm talking to the divorce lawyer at 1pm? What if I need money from the Xhub until I get a job? What if I need a living space that's not flimsy, precarious, a silly room where I don't have my own kitchen and YES to pets??? What if it's good that I have 2 cats instead of 4 because normally there's a maximum of 2 cats at apartments? What if an efficiency studio apartment would be fine, it's not like I hold dinner parties anywho?? What if, gotta do what I gotta do, here's hoping someone'll hire me and I also won't have to get turned down cuz of bad credit and I ain't paying more than a certain amount per month and at least things are somewhat flexible in Philly??? What if, what if, what if, and Nick's family is cool and so is he and all things go on as they're supposed to??? What if onward, upward, and whatev??? "Even when you're down and blue, just remember that someone out there loves you, even if you don't know it and even if you haven't yet met them. There's someone out there waiting for you, remember that and keep faith. You'll get there." ~~Johnny Depp. | |||
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| Scroll Guardian |
What if I'm proud of the resume I made for getting a job? What if I sent it in to a place hiring in Philly, and really hope I get it? What if I have an appointment to see an apartment on Friday...it's kind of on the steep side but I might be able to do it? What if, John the Xhub has agreed to pay me a nice amount per month to buy me out of my share of the house? What if he'll raise it if he gets a job cuz it's pretty steep, my share, even if neither of us might live long enough for me to see all of 90k unless he gets rich??? What if, but at least it's an addition to income that I'll always get, not too shabby? What if, hell HE ain't sellin' the house, what am I gonna keep my name on it for if I can't share in it??? What if, here's hoping I get a decent job though. What if, gotta start life again, despite well meaning "friends" and family who say things like "ohhh I thought you and Nick made a great couple! What are you gonna DO with your life?" What if I'm gonna LIVE!!!! "Even when you're down and blue, just remember that someone out there loves you, even if you don't know it and even if you haven't yet met them. There's someone out there waiting for you, remember that and keep faith. You'll get there." ~~Johnny Depp. | |||
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| Scroll Tragic |
Well...... Good Luck with your new life.... dont get mustard stains on it.... Why is it easier to fool the masses than it is to convince them that they have been fooled...? | |||
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| Scroll Obsessive |
What if I Hadda KILL Brucy because HE FORGOT TO WHAT IF??? What if I wont miss him..will you..?? What if maybe peeps will start replying to this thread agin..? | |||
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| Scroll Obsessive |
What if I found which of my 3762 email addys I used to sign up here.... with? What if damn thats an awkward sentence..? What if I bought some mixed nuts @ Wegman's? What if I havent had a Cashew in maybe a YEAR..!!!???! What if they & Pee-Cans are prob my fave nuts..?? What if ummm pistachios too..? What if I hear ANYONE Say Puh-CAHNs I might hafta hunt em down fer Free..like? What if I still vaguely resemble Thersites....? | |||
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| Scroll Guardian |
what if yeah, one day at a time? it's like being in a prison where you mark on the wall for each day you're there & the day of death is the day of release. But i'll try to keep that kind of talk off the scrolls. Everybody deals with grief differently. Take both my older brothers, one who never showed for her funeral & was more interested in stealing her house from me, and the other who was more interested in her money. Maybe that's harsh but being her best friend & the only close relative as i lived very close & was her care-giver when she got sick, i think i can call them out for it. It's too bad we can't choose our relatives. My parents were great, and a few aunts & uncles, and a niece, but otherwise, phooey for the most part. i know BrucE's an atheist, not sure about Kate, but i believe in a life beyond cuz if this world is it...then this is hell. i know mama xc is in a better world & i hope i get there too. No Trumps there, no politicians or lawyers. Don't even get me started on the crappy lawyers i had to deal with who messed up her will. i got my story to work on & i do have a great grief therapist who i'd ask to marry in a sec if she was single and who has no idea i'm xenacrazed (i keep my secret ID a secret even from her). But thanks for the post, BrucE. Or Thersites or whoever. | |||
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