Tired of whiny ass would be’s promising you but never delivering? Queasy at the idea of someone inflicting pain and playing rough without even asking if it was good for you too?

Then you’re in the right place. The place to be is Sara’s Kingdom. No promises, no pain, no problem. Straight up, know the score: the rule here is that I am the absolute beginning and end of your existence. Think that’s not for you? Give it a whirl, you’ll see that adoring me is the best thing you’ve ever experienced. Greater than any sex, better than any chocolate, more pleasurable than any pain.

Wanna know why? Cause I make it good for you too. Benefits and perks are runnin’ aplenty in my land of many. Had a rough life in some other pansy ass land? C’mon down baby, your ship has just come in, I can even arrange a little private get together with the people who’ve made your life miserable, the people to blame for all your troubles. You know who I’m talkin’ about.

All this and more, in return for one small thing. Your absolute allegiance. I say jump and you take off for that cliff, I say beg and you don’t stop til your voice is hoarse, I say kill and you grab your wife, kids and family dog and keep shootin’ til you’re out of bullets. Small price to pay for a satisfying life.

Don’t worry, I know your life will be empty in the moments I’m not around but I’ll give you some tidbits to sustain you in the form of updates.

Your ruler's tip for the week: Don't take candy or chocolate from sadomasochistic freaks.

Still the World's Biggest, Bestest Gabber Fan


I offer no apologies for the things that I believe and say
And I like it that way

I alone love you
I alone tempt you
I alone love you
Fear is not the end of this

[This message was edited by Sara on 03 July 2003 at 04:07 PM.]

Words too sweet.

Soup too greasy.

But I'm hungry for souls and food,

after all even a carnivore needs sustenance

other than flesh and blood.

But there's only

so much of this shit that I can stomach.

Be glad that you're too small for me

to eat.

Lions don't kill mice.



"I’ve got a little black cloud
That follows me.
Everywhere I go,
It takes over me."

Obviously
You
Failed that class
where you can
write one
complete sentence.

You probably
slept through
the class
where
you learned to
breathe
through your
nose.

You must have missed the sign at the entrance to my kingdom: No cretins allowed.

Be grateful that I don't have time to mess with illiterate, delusional freaks with a leaning towards a beastial identity crisis.

Your ruler's tip for the day: People who write about their domains in long ass story form, obviously have something to hide.

Still the World's Biggest, Bestest Gabber Fan


I offer no apologies for the things that I believe and say
And I like it that way

I alone love you
I alone tempt you
I alone love you
Fear is not the end of this

Poems of one liners
are for geeks and old-timers
Words hung out to dry
far too tired to tell a lie
testing testing, one two three,
woohoo, thrice pressed reload, and only one line doth I see!
I like my puppies with a spot of tea
you puppy jokes don't sicken me
for I'm as sick and evil as one can be!
Evil is as evil does
sometimes long hair
sometimes just peach fuzz
Taking candy from a baby -- why? Just because!
World domination is one hell of a buzz
"I dun told you Mr. Devil, I'm the best there ever was!"
Incoherancy is a must
In Canada it's legal to marry your cous-
for a page so evil, and red with lust
in Washington state, we got mud but no dust
I once knew a girl, robust in complexion
who joined the army and got an infection
during a procedure called a C-section
which was the end result of her boy toy's erection
boy one liners are really quite ghastly
they tend to get bloated and vast rather fastly



"I’ve got a little black cloud
That follows me.
Everywhere I go,
It takes over me."

Methinks the cretin doth protest too much. Obviously the only threat she has is to make up inane and completely stupid rhymes.

It's one thing to rhyme in poetry, it's quite another to do it well. And when it comes to doing things well, I am the alpha and the omega.

It would appear that bailey wants to bore me to death. Fortunately, there's a room in my castle that's recently been painted. I'd rather watch the paint than read anymore.

Oh, nice to see that after the Lady Lazarus pointed out your glaring mistake about your lair being secret that you changed it. Care what people think much? You'll never win that way.

Your ruler's tip for the hour: Those who can, take over the world, those who can't and wish they could, write poems that rhyme but make no sense whatsoever.

Still the World's Biggest, Bestest Gabber Fan


I offer no apologies for the things that I believe and say
And I like it that way

I alone love you
I alone tempt you
I alone love you
Fear is not the end of this

i surrender before Sara...


now about that "people who have made my life miserable" thing...can we talk, oh mistress at whose feet i grovel?

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

You may be able to surrender before Sara but I get to surrender in the best way.

As if there were any doubts, I am all yours, m'Queen.

~Gabber



"I'll be more than a lover
More than a woman
More than a lover
I'll be more than enough for you..."

'zoom, there's no need to grovel, I like my loyal citizens to remain standing. Sara's Rule #4": Don't take dignity from your populace, it'll only piss 'em off later.

Please, forward me a list of those miserable bastards who've mistreated you and I will arrange a private, out of the way meeting for you. Someplace nice and private and remote, where no one can hear them scream.

As for you Gabber, yes love, you get to surrender in the best way. S'why you're my Official Consort. All praise Gabber, for she is wise, honest and goddamn hot!

Your ruler's tip for the evening: Never trust someone who wants to call you their "associate", it can only mean a knife in the back later.

Still the World's Biggest, Bestest Gabber Fan


I offer no apologies for the things that I believe and say
And I like it that way

I alone love you
I alone tempt you
I alone love you
Fear is not the end of this

Had enough of the blither blather? Come and try some free chocolate.

~~~~~~~~~~

Death is no obstacle.

Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air.

Oh yes, m'Queen, and I only surrender to you. I quite love the title Official Consort. YEAH! Anybody try beating that! Pssh! *cough* Um, right, okie, yes, m'Queen.

Argy – see, I don't need to go and get some free chocolate when I've got the best kinda chocolate right here already. Sweet sweet goodness, heh heh. *COUGH* Right.

~Gabber



"I'll be more than a lover
More than a woman
More than a lover
I'll be more than enough for you..."

500 points to Sara for the idea of a consort.
200 points to Sara for the 2 sentence poem.
200 points to 'zoom and Gabber (I suggest mud wrestling to determine how to apportion them) for joining the fun.

Remember kids, it's up to you to keep track of your own points (and to make sure that the others are honest).

i like your style, Queenie. lemme know if you need a lieutenant...

oh--and the Royal Consort may have my points as tribute. i live to serve.

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

Ooh, even I get to be worshipped... I like this.



"I'll be more than a lover
More than a woman
More than a lover
I'll be more than enough for you..."

'zoom, I'd be honored if you'd be my lieutenant. Come forth and help me keep order in the kingdom and make plans to dispose of the feeble minded cretins of kingdoms neighboring.

Specially that miscreant who likes to use the word "pussy" in a overused way. You'd think that's the only word she knows.

Your ruler's tip for the day: Utilize smart, loyal, evil genuis types, they're the people who help you win wars.

Your ruler's bonus tip for the day: Bullies suck and usually are the most cowardly people known to man.

Still the World's Biggest, Bestest Gabber Fan


I offer no apologies for the things that I believe and say
And I like it that way

I alone love you
I alone tempt you
I alone love you
Fear is not the end of this

i will continue reconaissance and await your orders...

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

Heh heh heh, she said "rear", heh heh heh... *COUGH COUGH*

*needs to get out more*



"I'll be more than a lover
More than a woman
More than a lover
I'll be more than enough for you..."

to arms, my leige. one border country has fallen and another is crumbling. if we strike while Lady Laz amuses herself with bonbons and gladiatorial erotica her puny chocolate empire will fall as well...

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

*needs to get out more*

if it pleases my liege, might i offer her Royal Consort a bit of funkadelic advise i have often found useful and up-lifting....

free your mind, and your ass will follow...

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

'zoom, your liege is pleased with your advice, I've always found Funkadelic to be rather wise.

Yes, to arms my faithful lieutenant. Rally the troops and we will rendezvous at the designated place.

Victory will be ours.

Your ruler's tip for the day: Always strike while the iron is hot, cause if it's cold, where's the fun in that?

Still the World's Biggest, Bestest Gabber Fan


I offer no apologies for the things that I believe and say
And I like it that way

I alone love you
I alone tempt you
I alone love you
Fear is not the end of this

Wow, you could sell sand to the Saudis. Keep up the good work!

The mind is not a vessel to be filled but, a fire to be lighted - Plutarch

*looks down and shakes her own bon bon*





"I'll be more than a lover
More than a woman
More than a lover
I'll be more than enough for you..."

========================

I LOVE MY NEW COMPUTER!!

if Sara & Gabber are the reincarnation of X&G, what does that make me here? Joxer?????????? i don't think so....

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

free your mind, and your ass will follow...

No no, my faithful Lieutenant, not Joxer, more like Callisto but without the psychoticness running amok. She was pretty brilliant ya know.

Your ruler's tip for the day: Life ain't fair but that's why I'm here, to make it all better.

Still the World's Biggest, Bestest Gabber Fan


I offer no apologies for the things that I believe and say
And I like it that way

I alone love you
I alone tempt you
I alone love you
Fear is not the end of this

so....you wanna be brutus or cassius? *eg*

~b



"I’ve got a little black cloud
That follows me.
Everywhere I go,
It takes over me."