If only, just once, i could be recognized for what I can do! Bad enough that silly joxer bum( I CAN'T believe he never used handcuffs before, wait where did i get that? I must have dreamed it--or Ares told me. Or something) gets to travel around with xena and gabs, that's an insult in itself, but they won't even give me the time of day. Oh well, no despair here, Minya does not despair! There's a lot going on right now, Alti is trying to get at xena AGAIN,(steal her soul, that's original, real original haha), Callisto is on the prowl, LIVIA is doing what she does best, well not for long! Little do they know but i have actually been practicing(Paulina was helping she has more talent than either of them realized, hmmmm, think i'll keep that to myself.). But i've been practicing--and i've gotten worlds better even than i was! It's only a matter of time--just wait--someone will attack first but i will be there! i'll save gabrielle from alti--i can handle her, what soul stealing? please. Give me a break. Callisto? Don't make me laugh. Livia. Yeh no problem we can go a few rounds but i don't know if i want to kill her--call it a feeling, but there's somthing about her--something familiar actually. Naaa i don't know if i want to kill her. Deliever her to xena yes, let her have her way with her. But ehhh--i dunno, there's somthing about that girl. SHe needs to stay alive. Just not to do evil--eek, i'm confused! What is she? now my head's all spinning i don't like that. Think i'll go to bed. Hmmm Paulina has roses strewed on the bed, and wine--she thinks of everything!

now if i can just get that amazon spirit girl out of my dreams.....

Well now this is strange, can't say i'm used to these dreams i keep having. THat Ephiny person(why didn't i notice her when she was alive? She is hot--ok, Minya, focus here, focus!), keeps coming into my dreams and showing me things--and guess what? ALTI went into the land of the dead, and was messing around there, and Ephiny was talking to her about Xena--Alti has big plans apparently. Now Caesar's involved. Sheesh, that guy can't stay out of anything, can't he, even dead!
Welllll, i guess i know what i always wanted to know now though. Thanks to Ephiny and this newfound power to dream and see into other planes! I'm meant to be a part of this, in a bigger way than i ever was--why else would Ephiny be showing me all this stuff?(it can't just be my charming personality and great looks--or can it?)
Now, to catch up with Xena and Gabrielle--do i tell them? Would they believe me? Hmmmm, got to think about that one. Either way--i can't let them turn me away!
OOOOO, this is so exciting--MY DAY HAS FINALLY COME!

Whoa! I KNEW it! I KNEW livia was xena's daughter! Something about her, the way she moves, especially kills! Jeeeeeez! Now i REALLY can't kill her! Damn!
Got a hold of Joxer's diary, haha, silly bumbler, he dropped all the pages on the ground as he was heading off to meg's tavern. Heh. Gave me something interesting to do while i'm tracking down Xena and Gabs and keeping my eye on the enemies--whoa! So he DID use handcuffs huh? And ARES? hello! Well i must say, Jox old boy, never knew ya had it in ya! Good on ya i say!
Hmmmm, Meg's cute, wish i saw more of her, she looks a lot like Xena--but there's something different about her. Hmmmm. I wonder if i could interest her in the Thesbian side of life?
Later Minya, satisy libido later. Now--TRACK!
(what the hell am i gonna do about livia?. Maybe i'll get Gabs to trust me and she can be my sidekick for once and work her head stuff on her--she's better at the mind stuff than i am hehehe i'm a fighter, not an analyzer!)
Well--it's a thought. But for now--focus on tracking their actions!

Yes! They let me come with them! Victory--is mine!
Now it is only just a matter of time. Wait til they see how i take on Alti! Xena will practically pee her pants!
heheheheh

I have to say Dite looks sexy in a weird kind of way. The afro suits her! She's in a real bad mood though. That time of the month honey? Still i feel bad. She did get me that nice biker dude, what was his name again, Johnny? Depp? Sure he was cute and all, actually kind of androgenous in a way which was why i tolorated him like i did. But seriously, Dite, babe--you're the goddess of love hon and you don't realize by now that i'm into the ladies more now?(ok there was that little skit with joxer but that was just a dream babe, c'mon! Yeh i used to be into the dudes as well--but really, the ladies are more fun!)
Hmmm, Dite was talking about giving up her job? Sheesh who will get it? Ephiny? hmmmmmm.
And what's Dite going to do? Become a warrior? Hmmm, dunno about that, can't really see Dite with a chakram haha, she prolly would file it down and use it as a tiara!
On her new afro. Mmm hmm.

Times like this--I WISH Dite went for the ladies! Never had a goddess before--that'd be quite nice indeed!
Ok Minya, back to work! Gabrielle's lookin all worried about something, i guess we're gonna have a serious discussion right now.
After this i'm gonna need a serious drink!

quote:

---

Originally posted by Minya:

Never had a goddess before--that'd be quite nice indeed!

---

Once you've tried Goddess you never go back.

Wow, how nice, Hera just communicated with me in my dreams too! a lot of people(and gods and goddesses) are coming into my dreams now, i must say this is cool in a freaky kind of way.
I was a little worried about Ephiny there to be honest. We camped out last night and I went to sleep and who should come into my dreams this time?? You guessed--Alti. She's throwing her weight around and being all big and bad and mean, and, well, she caught me off guard a couple times, but I had it i was gonna get up and fight her! But then I heard Ephiny calling my name, saying something--damn I couldn't make it out to save my life and it really kind of pissed me off because it was obviously important--there was Alti, making noises and doing gods knows what to Ephiny--meanwhile calling me weak like that Callisto bitch did in my last dream--oooo that made me mad! I can not wait til Xena comes up with a plan--she's still mulling it over--but sheesh if it were up to me? We'd have BEEN there by now! I know, I know, Gabrielle always tells me to be patient, well she tells Xena that too, she has the patience of a goddess, I tell you now. Sometimes I think Xena took her advice too much to heart though. Are we ever going to develop a plan here?? Sheesh!
But good news about Ephiny, before I woke up this morning, I saw this guy approach her in the spirit world. She'd been having trouble--I think Alti was getting to her, maybe even tempting her a bit, not good, makes me want to just eliminate the scum faster now. But this guy--hmmm now what is it about him that intrigued me? I didn't even think I liked guys anymore but this one--hmmm. Something about him really interested me. He seemed to be what Ephiny needed at that time, and I think he's going to bring her back to life!
Hey--cool!
Anyway so I feel better about Ephiny now, thank the gods! The pendant doesn't burn my neck anymore either. I kind of knew she was in danger when it did that. Bugged me, ya know? Oooooo I hate Alti! I can't wait to see her dust under my feet!
Why do i feel guilty saying that now?
Sheesh, who WOULDN'T hate Alti? But something about this guy I saw in my dream--I told Gabrielle about it and she burst into tears--oops! Why do I keep making her cry? i HATE that!
Oh well. Think I'll just soldier on and hopefully figure this out later.
Maybe Joxer has some spirits from Meg's that I can partake in too!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Free Madness,

WELL! It WAS a perfectly lovely evening, Joxer and I got blitzed out of our minds, totally cut loose, talked about EVERYTHING--poor Joxer, I think i've been a little too rough on him in the past, but he and I really have a lot in common. We're both misunderstood, we both have a lot of talent that is not being recognized. Poor geezer. He really loves Gabrielle. And she's so cold to him, so snitty. Sometimes I really want to smack her. She's such a know it all sometimes I swear to Zeus.
Well no, let me not bust on Gabs right now. I do kind of feel bad now that Joxer told me what that guy's name was in my dream. Eli it was. He was Gab's teacher, taught her the Way of Love, and really helped her a lot, helped her get in touch with herself, and hey, after what she's been through with Hope and Solan and almost losing Xena like that--hey that is awesome, I say. I do admit to throwing rather a drunken tantrum and trying to go after the God of War when i found out he killed Eli--and of course he shows up and it's rather a mess, he starts to laugh at me and i HATE when people laugh at me, even if they are gods--well it got kind of ugly for a bit, I can't believe Xena and Gabs slept through it! Sheesh! And Xena snores so loud--Hades, even Ares yelled "Shaddup with the snoring, Xena!" in the middle of my tantrum, haha. Well in the end it was actually very interesting but then again I HAD to be drunk to allow this--with MEN? Even gods, sheesh--but Ares said to me, "You know, Minya, you're very sexy when you're mad." And he grinned in such a way--well well well. I really thought I was over the male thing but me him AND joxer, well--let's just say it turned into a very passionate night. And--ok, handcuffs were involved. I'll say no more.

It would have been a very lovely evening indeed if not for my DREAM!! Oh I was so spitting mad, I actually woke up, grabbed my sword and set off, oh yes, set RIGHT off to find Livia and Caesar and bury this sword right through Livia's torso--oooooo, that bitch, that horrid bitch, how DARE she!!! But nooooo. Ares AGAIN stopped me, what is with this god? Is he the god of war OR WHAT? Joxer also stopped me, the two of them talked me around, and Ares said, "Minya, Minya, you HAVE to have a plan, you CAN not go charging into things like this, you get killed that way!" Then--I hate to admit this but my eyes filled with tears, and I had to look away, squinting like something was in my eye. Because I remembered that this pain in the butt God had killed Eli, and I actually saw his face in my head now. He was in my dream too, urging Ephiny on, urging her to TALK to Livia rather than kill her. But what good did it do?? I felt so betrayed. The way of love. HAH! THat had seduced me in the dream when he brought Ephiny back to life--and for what?? To die a senseless death after giving away the whereabouts of her son?? Did she REALLY think Livia would spare him even if she DIDN'T kill him? UNBELIEVABLE! Had she not been so taken wtih Eli and his way of love crap--Livia would be dead by now and Ephiny and her tribe avenged!

And Eli?? Apparently his spirit can manifest or some such poppycock--oh well, is he dead? Not dead? Hard to tell, then again he's kind of a powerful geezer even if he's pretty lame!

I turned, then, and faced Ares. "All right, then," I said. "Let's try to think of a REAL plan, shall we? Snorior Princess over there--" I pointed to Xena, "Seems to be taking entirely too long."
Ares grinned at me in that oh so seductive way.
"Minya, I don't know why I never noticed before," he said. "But you are a far more savvy warrior than Xena ever was."

Hearing that was better than sex!

Ugh, hangover! Not nice. To top it off, Xena and Gabs are disregarding the plan Ares gave me--since the god of war decided to VANISH on us!. He said he had some unfinished god business, doesn't he always? Not impressed. Well now Xena and Gabs are just disregarding this plan and saying Joxer and I were too drunk to know what we're talking about--oh, nice, so now they're discounting my dreams too?? SHEESH! But actually I heard them talking later and I thought Xena was getting a bit teary--she really doesn't want to believe her daughter is capable of all this mess--damn! I am mortally glad i never had kids. Not worth all the pain, I tell you now! Poor Xena--this is rough on her. Well--unfortunately, she'll have to believe it because guess what? These people are wreaking serious havoc now, Alti knows what's up too and you know SHE won't hesitate to act. Haven't seen Callisto in my dreams since I shocked her with that firebolt(oooo that was fun, the look on her face was PRICELESS!)--but I know it won't be long. Xena is taking awhile here, probably because she's upset about Eve(Livia, Eve, it makes my head swim, I tell ya)
But we really need to get to Ephiny's son and warn him--and I need to talk to Ephiny again, I haven't seen her, she's probably avoiding me, probably feeling all down on herself--well hey, if it weren't for that stupid ELI git, she never would have gone along with something like that! None of this is her fault and I mean to tell her that when I see her next.
Bleeh, it didn't help when I mentioned that Eli was manifested as well as was responsible for Ephiny's second death--now Gabs wants him to find us and talk to HIM about what to do--gads! Well I can understand why she has a grudge against Ares and doesn't want to listen to him--but come on, it's for the greater good! She gave up on the way of love anyway, she knows it doesn't work! Sheesh! Confusing, these people are. I swear, they drive me to want to drink.
But no, I'll be good and sober today--I have a feeling it's going to be very interesting today--I just don't know how yet.

Still--ONWARD!

Well now the shit's really hit the fan, Amarice just told us she was at the camp and she saw Ephiny killed. NOW they believe me(sigh). Dammit, they've been questioning my dreams, well to be honest they're starting to confuse the frig out of ME--i could have sworn that DITE came into the last one and put a--a VAMPIRE BITE on me? Sheesh! Told me some mumbo jumbo to go along with it that for the life of me i can't remember--but oddly enough i keep having fantasies about a certain Johnny Depp, this actor guy from the 21st century--yeh Johnny Depp was the name of that biker guy i was with for awhile--but no this guy is even sexier somehow--odd. DAMN! Can't get the geezer out of my head. Rather annoying when i'm trying to make love with Ares and Joxer at night!
Yes Ares was back again, but he pulled a disappearing act after our fun, hehe, but hey at least he went out with a bang! Xena still won't listen to me about his plan, Ares says it's up to ME to make her listen, not rely on him because i need to start proving my warrior savvy more than i have been. Oooookay, Ares honey. You're the god of war after all.
Well actually i think my relationship with him is paying off, because i find that i'm a lot more aware and alert of things that Xena and Gabs are doing--and filing it away in my head. I never miss a beat! Everything that went on between Xena and Callisto for example. Callisto is not supposed to be here like this, and Xena? Well, she wants Eve back that's for sure. I mean to help her get her back.
Well--on a lighter note, i haven't lost my touch with the ladies, hehe. Ephiny visited me in my dreams after Dite left and, well, she was rather tearful at first, she has no idea where she is, she's kind of floating around in the middle of nowhere. Well--i was also in my spirit, so i was able to take her in my arms--i hate to see a strong woman break but i tell you it only makes me want to protect them, and get even tougher myself on whatever is afflicting them. So anyway after she cried on my shoulder--i gave her a little kiss and--let's just say i at least had her smiling at the end of it.
I'll do whatever i can to protect Xenan. If there is a way to bring Ephiny back to life, I'll find it. Even if i have to rely on that pissant Eli--i'll find it. She needs to be here.
I just need to pay closer attention to what Xena is doing--something tells me it's important to keep doing that. Something Dite said---damn, i can't remember! I wish i could.
I haven't even told them about Dite--for some reason i'm not able to do that. Ephiny noticed the bite on my neck and was rather worried but she didn't say anything. Then again, I don't know if Dite REALLY bit me--did she?
Anyway enough, I don't want to get all confused, I can't afford that right now. Now Gabs is crying about Eli, everyone is comforting her. I need to pay attention. Later, when they go to bed--I'll let my hair down again. Now what on Earth is Joxer doing? Who is that geezer he was just talking to?

I'll come back tomorrow, Diary, I need to go ask a few questions here. Talk later!

THAT'S IT! THAT IS WELL AND TRULY IT!!!!

I am out of here. ENOUGH! Xena has wasted my time long enough. WHAT a pathetic day it was! Everyone sitting around talking, talking about Ephiny and Eve(livia, eve, she's LIVIA, that's all I care about!!!) and NO one listening to a WORD i have to say, well at least Joxer tried to stick up for me sometimes but WHERE is Ares when i need him? HUH? Or is that all PILLOW talk? DAMN! No wonder i gave up on men, they are--oh hell, never mind it's not important. I need to get out there and kick Livia's butt.
I dreamed about Xenan tonight. DAMN Livia is evil! And Ephiny--she never told me this. What did she think--that i'd turn on her? Be all disappointed in her? Oh puh lease! So Livia got her soul, it's not the first time someone got a soul! I know what to do at least I've just been waiting around like the good little Minya I am for farkin XENA to come up with a PLAN! But noooooo--Xena is too busy letting Gabby cry on her shoulder and moaning and groaning abuot poor wittle eve--then she decides to take off and leave us all in this inn to fend for ourselves. I think she's gone to look for poor wittle eve. Well what about poor wittle XENAN, huh? HUH? Oh these people make me so mad, I tried to interest Joxer in coming with me but noooo, should have known it was futile! He's so tied to the Gabster, he'd never leave her side if you tried to pry him away with a crowbar.. Will he never get it through his thick skull that she and Xena are thesbian lovers and there is no one who will ever take that away from them??? Noooooo. Oh well I have had enough of this, I'm off.
It'll be Minya, Dream Warrior who wins this war, not Xena, Warrior Princess. She took too long. Sorry about ya daughter, Xena, but even if i don't kill her i intend to make her suffer for what she did to Ephiny and her son. And Alti? Oh she's got a big surprise coming to her when i'm done with Livia!
And i haven't even STARTED on Callisto yet.

They'll write songs abuot me--even Gabs will write one. And she may even leave Xena and come and travel with me. I can get her sense back, teach her some HUMOR again like she used to have--once all the butts are kicked, that is!

By the time they find this diary I'll be long gone. If I die in this war--i'll be rememberred anyway. Give my love to Paulina. And Dite--tell Johnny I'm sorry it didnt' work out.
sincerely,
Minya

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Free Madness,

I got out of that inn and as far as the first tree when of course who should stop me? ARES of course. And Dite. DITE! Bloody hell. She reminds me of the deal i made with her--and of course Ares freaks out all over her, starts lecturing her about her identity crisis and all that. So the two of them have a big old argument. It would have been a perfectly good time for me to get away, but as soon as I started walking, who should pop up--but Alti. Since i was already furious, I wasted no time. I drew my sword and slashed at her, infusing it with magic I'd picked up along the way(not telling how i got it folks, you'll have to wait til later hehehehehe). Alti was quick of course and fixed me with that evil gaze that might have actually sent me into a trance any other time. However--this time--she kind of stopped, and started flipping and shouting some odd chants I didn't recognize. I couldn't help myself, I just burst out laughing. SHe looked so funny! I almost wished Xena was around, but noooo, she had to go and leave everyone in the lurch. Typical. Well anyway, after a few more minutes of this, Dite stopped arguing with Ares and started laughing hysterically. The look on Ares's face was priceless.
Well--I wasted no more time on mirth, even though it was the best thing i'd seen all day. I seized Alti, in mid flip, and threw her over my shoulder. With a few mumbled curses, I had her just asleep enough to be influenced. I threw her down to the ground, and crouched in front of her. I took her bony chin in my hands, and looked into her half closed eyes.
"Alti," I said, while the god and goddess watched, rather impressed, "This is what you are going to do for me. You will tell no one about me. You will not even remember seeing me, do you understand me, Alti??"
"Mmmm hmm," Alti said.
"All right," I snarled. "What you are going to do is this. You are going to use your power, that wonderful power--to free Ephiny's soul. Do you get that, Alti??"
She nodded, rather fearful.
"Good," I said. "After you do that, you are going to HELP Ephiny get back to the land of the living."
"All right, Minya is losing the plot here," Dite said, annoyed. But Ares shushed her.
"No, she knows what she's doing," he said. "I taught her."
"You WHAT!" They began arguing again, but I paid no attention.
"Next," I said through gritted teeth, "you AND Ephiny are going to go to Livia. You are going to do WHATEVER it takes to get that bitch to free Xenan. AND--you are going to see to it that she turns herself in to Ephiny--AND bows down and kisses both Xenan's AND Ephiny's feet!"
At this, Alti kind of shook herself off a bit and laughed.
"She'll never do that," she said. "Not Livia."
"She will," I snarled. "you'll give her a simple phrase that she is to repeat--over and over again until she remembers she is EVE, not Livia. And the phrase is--"
I took Alti's face in my hands, looked into those incredible doe-like eyes, and said in the strongest voice I had,
"In the name of Eli--and all the powers of Heaven--I COMMAND this evil presence to be cast out!"
Alti stared at me, fear and confusion in her doelike eyes.
"You got that Alti?" I snarled.
"Yes," she whispered.
"All right then," I said, curling my lip and helping her to her feet. "I'm going to release you now. REmember, Alti, you will not remember me. In fact, I'm going to pretend to let you knock me down so you can have some amusement for yourself. Would you like that, Alti?"
She nodded, grinning like a child.
"I thought you would," I smiled. "All right, Alti, you have your orders. One--two--THREE!"
Alti awoke, and with a flick of her hand, she struck. I feigned an injury and hit the ground hard. Alti laughed her low jagged laugh.
"Weak stupid cow, Minya," she snarled. "Trying to be Xena. How pathetic."
The god and goddess were not visible to her--they had made themselves invisible while she did this.
"Well," Alti said, "I'll come back for Xena's soul later. I have something I must do--with Livia." A slow smile spread over her face--I saw this through my half closed eyes as she turned and sauntered away, still laughing.
Then she disappeared.
Ares and Dite reappeared, and Ares helped me to my feet.
"I must say," he said looking confused, "you threw me a curve ball, Minya."
I shook off my own confusion. "Don't ask where the Eli crap came from--but I do think it will work."
Ares laughed heartily. "You really have a beef with Eli, don't you, sweetheart?"
I curled my lip. "He's responsible for Ephiny's death. If it weren't for him--"
"Awwww!" Dite crooned, "Minya has a soft spot for Ephiny! Well--why didn't you SAY so? At least ONE person around here still has time for love!"
"Dite," I said, trying to sound respectful, "with all due respect--you've been a little busy losing your identity to notice that, well, your brother has been more into the love poo lately than you have."
Dite grinned. "Oh I know THAT!" she said as Ares blushed, but still winked at me. "You know, Minya, if you weren't so hellbent on being such a tough warrior, you'd make a hell of a Goddess of Love! If I was actually stupid, I'd give you my title!"
I had to laugh, and Ares laughed with me.
"She'd be a better goddess of war," he argued.
"But seriously," Dite said, her smile fadiing, "if i still did the love poo--which i don't--well never mind. You need to remember our deal, Minya. Watch Xena and gabrielle. I want to know what is going on at ALL times! i'm TIRED of these mortals, I SWEAR I am!" She stomped her foot.
"Easy, sis," Ares said. "Why don't we all work together with this? You already took care of Alti--nice work, sis. That strange disease--that was rather a nice touch."
I turned to her, smiling. "That was YOU?" Dite kind of blushed and looked at the ground. "Well, the Goddess of Love! I never knew you had it in ya! Good on ya, Dite!"
"Not bad with the hypnosis either," Dite said rather reluctantly. Then she said, "ohhhh, you mortals--I can't stay mad at you for anything! Group hug!" She pulled Ares and me into a hug, jsut as Joxer came out of the Inn to see what all the fuss was about. Seeing a group hug, he couldn't help but come over and join in.
"Uhhh--sis?" Ares said in a muffled voice--she was squeezing him rather tightly, "I'm not a mortal."
We ended up going to the tavern for some drinks. THen--I finally got my wish. I had a goddess, as well as a god--at different times of course.
Mission somewhat accomplished!

I love being misunderstood. Really--i can accomplish so much more that way. Wait til they see! They will be building shrines to me. Stupid Amarice and her huge ego(which never goes anywhere, she may move well but she has no timing whatsoever--she just talks too much, and ends up making silly mistakes in battle--at least i know how to shut up once we're actually DOING something!) Not to mention all she talks about is nonsense--man problems. Oh boo hoo. I don't have time to dwell on broken hearts--i just enjoy myself and give pleasure in return. People who come to my bed know that they will be fully satisfied.
Gods, the stupidity of some people--I went hunting today and took down a goat. I smeared some of the blood on myself so as to attract Alti for yet another hypnosis session. Alti is a riot, I tell you. THere's a rumor going on in the Dreamworld that she's planning to inhabit Joxer's body(let her try!) and that she thinks I'm too weak or something to work with--HAH! she knows she can't get inside me, if she did, she would pass out from sheer shock alone! Delusions of grandeur indeed. MUAHAHAHAH!
Well Amarice came into the room with me and Joxer, and of course I had already explained to Joxer what I had done with the goat and i was about to tell Amarice, when she wrinkled her nose and flounced out of the room. Joxer and I had a laugh and i made a loud joke about my new perfume. GADS Amarice is stupid!
So then, I heard her telling Gabrielle that I smell like a goat(her voice is so loud, ahha) and Gabs said something like, "oh suggest you two go to the bathing house for a chat--" And Joxer and I just ROARED laughing. I tell ya i nearly peed my pants! If they only knew--any of them--how Alti is now putty in my hands(oh she will never know), and Joxer and I have a plan for when Alti "supposedly" inhabits Joxer--oh we'll let her for sure, but Joxer has it sorted--she may THINK she's making him do things but she ain't! NOOOO way! And when he does things that actually WORK for us instead of harm us---heheheheheeh! He wanted to get Jett involoved too--of course he's all worried about King Gregor and all--but he does look up to his big brother even if he is a little worried about his state of mind. Well--I'll think about that hehe.
Alti has no idea what she's doing with Livia, nor will she heheh--I must say, Ares taught me well. NEver blow your own horn too much in the outside world. THat's what got Xena in trouble FAR too many times. ANd Amarice wants to be just like her.. Well she'll learn in time. Whenever she grows up!
So anyway, Joxer and I went to the bathhouse together--need I say more? You know who joined us at that time--well anyway by the time we were all done, each and every one of us smelled as sweet as fresh roses. I even tiptoed into the room where Gabs and Amarice slept--leaned over Amarice and retrieved the pendant she stole from me--yes Amarice TRIED to get Ephiny's pendant away from me--she doesn't think I am worthy to wear it of course--but when i got it she woke up with a start. I told her to calm her horses and explained that I was just getting the pendant she stole from me. Well in the moonlight the look on her face--was PRICELESS! Even Gabrielle gave me a smile even though she too had been woken up.
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Gotta love me, as Dite would say!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Free Madness,

Why does Eli get to me so much?? He gets Ephiny killed and then turns up in my dream to explain to me what REALLY happened(yeh sure dude)--that Ephiny misunderstood him or some such poppycock--yeh yeh whatever Eli.
but he starts lecturing me on my "fornication" practices, and at first i just laughed, then i started to really feel like crap. He made me sound so shallow. Guess he's kind of unhappy cuz I'm entertaining myself with the god that killed him, that's my guess. Still it didn't feel so good. What the hell is it about that guy, his power? I HATE this! Now i'm all confused again. I don't like being confused, have i ever told you that???
Dammit. He wants to help Gabrielle and Xena, he wants to help with Xenan and Livia. He has a feeling about Livia, and he actually threatened me if i even go near her--well we had words about that, I don't take too kindly to being threatened, you know, I don't care WHO your daddy is!
And now Ephiny is back where she once was. They tried to take her into heaven, well good on her, she told them where to go. The way of love. PEH! At least this way, Ephiny can feel a little better, keeping busy, that's the kind of person she is, she's not someone who sits on her arse and doesn't do anything, just sits around and thinks like Gabrielle or bitches and complains like Amarice. I guess that's why I relate to her so well.
Eli gets on my nerves. What does he want? Why is he spending so much time trying to convince me of the way of love if he thinks i'm beyond hope? Sheesh, the way he talks about me, it's like I am this total shallow slut--has it ever occured to him that you can love more than one and express your love to more than one? Yeh, yeh, some people just don't get it. Whatever.
I've got pms though, so I'm not doing too well, kind of depressed actually. I need a long walk by myself in the forest. THat'll snap me out of it. Normally that kind of thing does.
Talk later
Minya

That was enjoyable, had some alone time, even had a bath in the stream, have i ever told you how i love bathing in natural water? Just totally reawakens my senses!
I have come to the conclusion that Eli is sexually frustrated, that's why he's so uptight. If we would just stop denying ourselves and just enjoy, allow the passion to flow, we could not only be better people, but better at everything we do. For example, that fool Callisto came at me after my bath--didn't take too long to knock her on her arse though. Even the likes of Amarice was shocked, she came looking for me(not by choice, Gabs was worried and sent her after me. I do have a soft spot for Gabs, I admit, but she's all tied into Xena now, gotta respect that, at least she's doing what she feels!) So anyway, Callisto was all shocked cuz when i drew my sword it glowed, was totally on fire practically, and she was so shocked, she stumbled back, blinded by it, sheilding her eyes. Well i like a fair fight so i just stood there laughing and gave her time to get her bearings. Well then Amarice comes flouncing over, caling my name, and Callisto of course noticed her, and was about to attack her--when i brought the blade down on her head and knocked her out cold. I would have captured her had she not disappeared--then again, she is one of those bloody gods, she can do that, haha, anything to avoid being humiliated by the stupid Minya! HAHAHAHAHA! As if, as Dite would say.
Poor Amarice, she was speechless for once, but we walked back to the inn together anyway. Once in my room, I noticed that Joxer had strewn roses and daisies all over the place.
He thinks of everything. gotta love him!

I wonder if i can get Eli to loosen up? Have to meditate on that one. heheheheheh Maybe if we got him drunk--even for a spirit? Hmmmm.

He's dead.
Ares is dead. Life as I knew it the last few days is over.
But a new life has just begun, a life where Xena is listening to me, and actually respects me. All these years, I've wanted her to look at me like she looked at me tonight. Oddly enough, I didn't get the rush I always thought I would get.
Then again, Ares....
Dammit, I'm not gonna cry again, I hate that, I know it won't bring him back, it didn't when my mother died all those years ago, to Hades with it, he'd probably laugh at me anyway, knowing him, the bastard.
But gods, I'm going to miss him so much!
Joxer is still crying, damn, he really took it hard, I mean to go sit with him when I'm done writing here. I hope I didn't make him feel too bad, I mean hell, we can still have fun, Ares would want that, wouldn't he? Joxer keeps looking at me like he's totally miserable. He looks at Gabrielle like that. Should I be worried??
I have to say, I'm shocked that I don't hate Eli anymore, then again he didn't kill Ares did he? Ares's stupid cowardly father did. Bleh, that's risky, I shouldh't insult the king of the gods, but damn, he could have had the decency to face Ares himself before he killed him, not used Eli to do it! SHeesh! Then again, he doesn't need to explain his actions to anyone does he--he's king of the gods. Whatever his motive for killing Ares--it's all up to him, not anyone else.
Still, I"m going to miss my little God of War. Not that he was that little--never mind.
I need a drink.
Poor Joxer, we both need drinks. Thank the gods I have two more bottles of whiskey Ares brought for us special the other night-- Did he have a foretelling? Jox and I are just too messed up to go outside anymore. To hell with it. Let's drink a toast to Ares. To the God of War, who taught us well. May he rest in--war. I wouldn't insult him with peace.

You DARE call Zeus, King of the gods, a stupid cow?

Things happen for a reason, a reason, i had nothing to do with. Lightening bolts are my style.... And this.


Transforms Minya into a donkey.... Only the love of Alti will transform you back.



Mortals...... A bunch of dumbasses.

Well that was interesting, then again it didn't last--Alti DID give me her love, even as a donkey I could still hypnotize her--all my hypnosis has been paying off, hehe, she loves me anyway i can't make her do that! HAHAHAH, she grew to respect me i guess, even Xena said so. But she just kind of looked at me, while I spoke to her and gave her my latest orders--even Xena was there then, kind of looking on, like, hmmm--Alti couldn't help herself, she just kind of realized--she loved me! Well all right, maybe she doesn't want to make love to me that's ok though, she really doesn't do it for me either--but she almost loves me as much as she does Xena--which is saying quite a lot. Takes a lot to earn one's respect, and well, Alti does respect me now, so love just naturally follows respect. Good enough!

Still--once I transformed back into a human again, I went to the Shrine of Zeus and--yes--cut off my pinky. OW! I placed it onto the shrine, and Xena looked at me like i was nuts, but call me crazy, i felt like i had to do it. Extreme as it was--it just felt like something I had to do.
I said my prayers and asked for forgiveness for my angry slight, and let the blood seep onto the shrine. Xena was horrified--but she figured an extreme act like that would probably have to happen.
We got up and walked back to the Inn. Note to self--make a new pinky out of metal fast!

Ok that is weird.
As soon as I wrote that, I looked at my bloody stump and my pinky grew back.
Too cool, though. I did give a prayer of thanks to Zeus even so.
Xena came in with tools and sinew for sewing--and stared at my new pinky with new respect.
"All right," she said evenly. "Ummm--I guess just keep your anger on the mortals now, right?"
"Yeah--I think that would be wise," I said with a slight smile, flexing my hand with the new pinky.
"You learn fast, Minya," Xena said. "I'll give you that."
She breathed a sigh of relief and took her tools out of the room. Joxer woke up then, wondering what all the fuss was about. Thank the Gods there was no more blood.
"S'matter?" he asked, squinting.
"Never mind," I said. "Hey, there's still that extra bottle left." I grinned. He grinned back.
"Bring it on," he said. "I can't believe you let me fall asleep before we started on that!"
"Well," I said, winking, "you did go to sleep with a smile on your face."(and missed my metamorphasis, thank all the powers that be!)
Joxer grinned. "Well now we can make more smiles."
"You're corny Joxer," I said, "But I love you anyway." I poured him a large one--and put the bottle to my lips and drank heartily.

Oh my goodness. If these creatures only knew. THen again, I haven't exactly revealed all, even in this diary.
And I don't intend to. Oh, I wanted ALti to think exactly that, to tell Livia just what she did, that she was using me as a pawn.
I knew they'd try to go after me with the Chakram. Wanna be, huh? Maybe at one time. This is not your grandmother's Minya, however.
When it all comes down to it--they will know. All of them. I need no shrines, I need no songs written for me. Those days are over. I will always value Ares and love him til the day I die. But if it's one thing his death has taught me--how to watch out for myself and the ones i love. THerefore, not even Xena will know of what I TRULY can do--it's not safe, if I reveal that even to her, Alti will know. Alti can go on with her "delusions of grandeur"(i believe she once said that about me hehe)--I'm sure she'll try to throw a couple curve balls, make me think everything is not as it seems. Let them do what they will. I have warned Xena of this, she knows what to expect even if she doesn't know how I'm counteracting it. Eli also knows. Eli is watching out for it as well.
Never underestimate the power of the Way of Love!

Funny how events can change you and I'm not talking about into a donkey either. THat's over, thank you very much.
but this whole mission has turned me into a different person. I no longer need to fight to prove my worth. I know I can fight, I don't have to make people believe me about it. I no longer need to blow my own horn. And--I no longer need people to appreciate me either.
Do they REALLY think I'm going to be broken up when they finally reveal that they've been playing me? It's not the first time I've been played like that after all.
Sure, they can do what they want, go on and smile in my face, but that's ok. In the end--it'll be me that smiles!

Well at least Joxer is still my friend. He even stuck up for me not that they listened to him, then again they never do. Well that's what they get for prejudging.
I know Ares loved me, that isn't a delusion, but never mind, if Xena wants to think it is, let her. I guess she was a bit jealous, maybe she even had a bit of a soft spot for him who even knows? For all she played hard to get....hehehe.
Oh well. Joxer and i will drink another toast to Ares tonight--and do some planning of our own. HEHEHEHEHEHE. Vengeance is going to taste migggghty sweet!
Traitor, they called me. Hmmmm. Well I guess Alti is mucking with their brains, she's good at that. Then again Ephiny was always rather uh, weak with her. Tempted by the dark side anyway, that one is. Not me, I'm not interested thanks, I like being a "do gooder," it just kind of suits me you know? Oh well. They'll see, all of them. THey won't be able to pick their jaws up off the floor.
HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Sweet Joxer.
He is my light, the only thing that makes sense now. Why did I waste so much time with Ephiny? She was just playing me. I have someone right here, someone who is for real, who speaks his heart and isn't afraid to say what he feels. DAMN! See I didn't think men could do that anymore--well not with me. THey always got intimidated by me. Not Ares of course. But then he was a god wasn't he?
Still--I can't be a total thesbian with Joxer around, how can I be? Well--I can still swing both ways--but a man who can be vulnerable to me--that is a turn on.

We're going to find Jett. Joxer isn't sure he'd be interested in helping us with our mission--but we're going to see if he will be! I hear he's a pretty good warrior too--that'll be more than useful!

This has been the most confusing week, I'll tell you now.
Now i'm being told that Ares played me to get Xena's soul. Did he? Would he do that? And if so--what kind of gullible idiot am I? Sheesh, I thought i was beyond stupid tricks by men--I know, I know, he was a god, but he acted like a man--in bed. One of the best I ever had.
Some thesbian I turned out to be.
Still--it does bother the HELL out of me that I was played like that! All this time--but then it was also my own dumb fault for not asking someone for help sooner--like Gabrielle or Eli--after all, I could communicate to him, what was I thinking! bleh.
And Dite's Afro. She's not too happy with me I don't think, then again--I'm not too thrilled to have an infected vampire bite on my neck that made me hallucinate and be even more putty for Alti to play with--oh to hell with Alti! I'll get her somehow, I don't know how, but at least I'm on the right path--she wants Xena's soul, well doh, didn't I tell Xena this before? Why'd I go and forget--and get caught up in the devious games of Livia, Callisto AND Alti,--and Ares. Ok. FINE! I admit it, he used me! bleh.
I know I should hate him--but he was the best damn lover I ever had--male and female. Actually Joxer really is pretty great himself, one wouldn't think of him as being very, well, coordinated in those areas but you would be surprised. Then again no one thinks of me as the world's greatest lover either. Until they experience me in the flesh. hehe, that's ok. I'm ok with myself, whatever people think of me.
Ares taught me a lot, whether he meant to or not--he didn't bargain on what a great student i was. So in all truth, I don't much regret my affiliation with the God of war--well all right, except for the losing my mind bit and causing trouble, that really wasn't fun. Add to that, Dite's Afro, and this vampire bite--Ares must have played on the fever like Alti did. bleh.
Still--it's a shame he's dead, I could have used him the way Xena learned to eventually. I may have been able to do that. Well--we'll never know will we?(sigh) Gotta shake it off, Minya.
Right now, the focus is getting that chakram back from Alti and Livia--doing my best not to try to take over from Xena(I know I know *grumbles*)--but if she still tries to treat me like a moron for awhile, fine, I may deserve it for a little while, but I'm not gonna compromise my abilities.
Naaaa, in the end, Minya does not compromise what she TRULY has!

Well i apologized to Xena, wasn't easy but she is done with all the bickering, as is Amarice so that helps. It's no longer about dismissing my dreams anymore out of hand--she didn't trust them, because when I got out of hand it wasn't clear what was real and wht was not. Well--she does now understand that i do have visions even if they were helped along by Ares and maybe even Alti to an extent sometimes--regardless, they're real and i do have them.
Now Xena's a little worried--I saw the furies come down on Livia and, well, she's mad now. At first I couldn't help but chuckle at her calling everything "Mavis" and singing la la la, or something--but she does have the chakram and tht makes it something to be concerned about. A mad bitch of rome isn't much better than a sane one. THe gods know what she'll end up doing to Xenan now. Will she forget the promise she made to Ephiny?
Eli told me not to give into fear--that will only pave the way to losing my confidence. He's right of course--I cannot afford that, not now. I'm not going to panic. Regardless, we HAVE to get that chakram back. As long as i have my visions, I can do my bit with helping them get it. Well now that she's mad--it may even be easier.
Hopefully. I don't want to go back to being OVER confident either, but i'm not interested in panicking and going too far into fear. No way. I've been through enough to know that that won't help. If we don't get that chakram back, Alti will have her way with Livia--and who knows what will happen. Well--at least we are all clear on what we are doing from our end now.
I haven't seen hide nor hair of Dite's Afro. THe bite is much better today. I still don't remember what she told me to do with Xena and Gabs--they know now that she did something, and I think Xena has her suspicions but she's not giving too much life to it. She's totally focused on this chakram now. As well as saving Xenan.
And Joxer? He's bummed, but we're closer than ever. We'll go after Jett, I know we will, but it may have to wait until all this is over. THat worries him, he worries so much about his big brother. But he does understand now that the chakram is the most important thing now.
Of course he's terribly upset abuot Ares. I don't want to think about it--i try not to as much as possible. It's mortifying enough that I lost the plot the way i did--thinking too much about Ares using me--and the gods know what he would have done with me and joxer once he got what he wanted--that just makes my head spin and rage go into overdrive. I can't allow that now. It's too dangerous.
Anyway--onward again!