well now there's something worst toasting
simultaneously posting
they say those are signs
of very great minds
and that, friends is fact and not boasting

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

common sense would tell me not to try and continue
but i'm after a piece of the diamond in you
so keep your heart open
this spirit ain't broken...
and just a little is enough

well this may pale their Aussie faces
limericks at twenty paces
it will be quite the slammo
cuz they got no ammo
it'll be like they're fighting with toothpicks while we're using maces

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

common sense would tell me not to try and continue
but i'm after a piece of the diamond in you
so keep your heart open
this spirit ain't broken...
and just a little is enough

so now, please let me regale ya
with tales of the gals of Australia
who lured in a Subtexan
that succumbed to their vexin'
or maybe it was the wild choco-nalia

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

common sense would tell me not to try and continue
but i'm after a piece of the diamond in you
so keep your heart open
this spirit ain't broken...
and just a little is enough

for plans yet to be set in motion
it appears i have earned a promotion
so step away from the bar
and take arms--this is war
it is time now to start the commotion...

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

common sense would tell me not to try and continue
but i'm after a piece of the diamond in you
so keep your heart open
this spirit ain't broken...
and just a little is enough

Lady laz talks much of smelling fear
yet hasn't the balls to show her face here
she must have wine to uncork
to go with her chicken and pork
while Queen Sara rules without peer.

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

common sense would tell me not to try and continue
but i'm after a piece of the diamond in you
so keep your heart open
this spirit ain't broken...
and just a little is enough

Fate watches these limericks with a grin
It seems this battle of words 'zoom might win
But Ame will put up a fight
Perhaps soon the Lady will smite
And Sara will contribute more sin

100 points to 'zoom
50 points to Sara
75 points to Ame

while more and more points for my Queen i amass
i await the arrival of that Lazarus lass
though i doubt she will show
she's in mourning you know
losing her choccies must have shaken her sass

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

common sense would tell me not to try and continue
but i'm after a piece of the diamond in you
so keep your heart open
this spirit ain't broken...
and just a little is enough

oh the horror! the tragedy so makes me blanch
cora's lair buried deep under that avalanche
can they breathe in there?
is there very much air?
bet they're wishing instead they'd HQ-ed on a ranch

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

common sense would tell me not to try and continue
but i'm after a piece of the diamond in you
so keep your heart open
this spirit ain't broken...
and just a little is enough

call me crass or call me a cretin
but i'm well-playing this game without any cheatin'
what i want to know
is where did Lady Laz go
and is this a dead horse that i am still beatin'?

hehe...
dead horse...
get it?

ok--where the the devil are you Lady Laz????

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

common sense would tell me not to try and continue
but i'm after a piece of the diamond in you
so keep your heart open
this spirit ain't broken...
and just a little is enough

To find where my lady resides
Watching Xena, and besides
She doesn't need to be around all the time
Since most other 'rulers' aren't as sublime
Now just waiting for more of those pearls that she writes

========================

I LOVE MY NEW COMPUTER!!

claiming a supposed distaste for trashing talking
Lady Laz does little else but balking
i guess engaging her wits
is giving her fits
she probably has some more photos that require chalking

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

common sense would tell me not to try and continue
but i'm after a piece of the diamond in you
so keep your heart open
this spirit ain't broken...
and just a little is enough

so limited, i think, choosing swords
rather than engaging in a war of words
guess you've not realized
it's far more civilized
than fomenting your chocolate-crazed hoardes

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

common sense would tell me not to try and continue
but i'm after a piece of the diamond in you
so keep your heart open
this spirit ain't broken...
and just a little is enough

Avoiding my regular haunts
I return here to find these lame taunts
It is no surprise
That I just roll my eyes
At the ignorance that zoomy flaunts

[ oh yes! big words and tough rhymes! ]

~~~~~~~~~~

Death is no obstacle.

Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air.

It really is almost obscene
That zoom thinks she's a limerick Queen
With precise rhyme and metre
I most surely will beat 'er
She is nought but a crazy has-been

~~~~~~~~~~

Death is no obstacle.

Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air.

"ignorant"? to that i say "fie!"
and i suppose you would like to ask why
there's but one thing to blame:
your retort is so lame
next i expect to hear "i know you are but what am i?"

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

common sense would tell me not to try and continue
but i'm after a piece of the diamond in you
so keep your heart open
this spirit ain't broken...
and just a little is enough

I know that I do feel quite sick
When I'm reading a zoom limerick
The rhythm will stick
It just doesn't click
You know like, if this was one of zoom's, she'd do anything she could to make the last word rhyme real quick

[ five word rhyme! double points! ]

~~~~~~~~~~

Death is no obstacle.

Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air.

Many have tried and have failed
(Some may soon find themselves impaled)
To best the good Lady
With moves that are shady
Oh how they have wept and have wailed

~~~~~~~~~~

Death is no obstacle.

Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air.

Sitting there, wanting some more?
Now you know why I dislike this chore
It's far too damn easy
To out-lim you, "sleazy"
And that's why I didn't, before

~~~~~~~~~~

Death is no obstacle.

Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air.

You can rattle 'em out, can't you dear,
When I am not even here?
But you can't keep pace
With this current lim race
And I'm just warming up, have no fear

~~~~~~~~~~

Death is no obstacle.

Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air.

I love to see blood when it squirts
A sword to the eye really hurts
When I see a village
I must plunder and pillage
Sometimes I remind me of Kurtz

[ obscure literary reference! hahahahahaha! ]

~~~~~~~~~~

Death is no obstacle.

Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air.

you and your choccie loving clones
buzz in my ears like so many drones
i'd stay and listen to you weep
but now i must sleep
while you take advantage of opposing time zones

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

common sense would tell me not to try and continue
but i'm after a piece of the diamond in you
so keep your heart open
this spirit ain't broken...
and just a little is enough

I see that my work here is done
I just had me a whole ton of fun
Putting zoom in her place
She's run off in disgrace
It's clear that the battle is won

~~~~~~~~~~

Death is no obstacle.

Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air.

your limericks couldn't be poorer
as will agree Fate--the ultimate scorer
but since you give preference
to literary reference
all i can say is "the horror...the horror..."

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

common sense would tell me not to try and continue
but i'm after a piece of the diamond in you
so keep your heart open
this spirit ain't broken...
and just a little is enough

and if i do recall my Joseph Conrad
Kurtz's end was ultimately quite bad
what a poor schmuck
a mad leader run amok
your choice of comparisons is really quite sad

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

common sense would tell me not to try and continue
but i'm after a piece of the diamond in you
so keep your heart open
this spirit ain't broken...
and just a little is enough

your heart of darkness isn’t me scaring
your delusions of grandeur i won’t be sharing
in the adaptation for screen
i’d be played by Martin Sheen
and it would be your blood that i’d be wearing

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

common sense would tell me not to try and continue
but i'm after a piece of the diamond in you
so keep your heart open
this spirit ain't broken...
and just a little is enough