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Scroller Needing Therapy |
What if I could use a break from my issues? What if Paco's on a date? What if I'd been given to understand that this gets easier? What if I should've asked for some sort of timeline? | |||
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| <Ame - alicious> |
What if Nora is the only person on AIM? | ||
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| Scroller Needing Therapy |
What if I just answered a personals ad? What if you all wish me luck? What if I seriously first typed "wish me lick"? What if I don't know whether to laugh or to frown at myself disapprovingly? | |||
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Besotted Scroller |
what if LOL at heitie  ?what if i'm so mature  ?what if "changes" is on? what if all is right with the world? what if i'm having trouble eating chocolate? what if i'm both concerned and proud about that? what if still no word from the robbie site, but i can take comfort in the fact that i was kicked out for knowing too much? what if my semi fan-fic must have given away a year's worth of story lines...hopefully  ?what if i will not be silenced!!? what if jesse should get shot tonight and then all the sweet sweet chaos will unfold ?what and AND james marsters is on rove tonight! !?what if i'm not ready  ?what if i feel like taping home and away so i have all the drama forever? what if i wish i hadda taped last night too ?what if i ask channel 7 real nice and they give me a tape? what if not ruddy likely, but it's worth a shot? what if i demand they rerun the whole thing as a movie-length episode? what if that would be so cool ?what if, back in the old days, i'd be middle aged at 19? what if that's something to think about? what if i only plan on living till 30 or so, so i guess that works out? what if, if the end of the world doesn't get me, passive smoking, heat-disease, kidney failure, skin cancer, high-blood-pressure and general ignorance will? what if i just hide under a pile of coats and hope everything works out for the best? what if, sounds like a plan ?what if i am cold? what if have no stew ?what if i don't like stew much anyways? what if it could have something to do with the fact that in pre-school, they used to tell us it was wombat? what if i've never seen any proof to the contrary? what if, whenever i think of pre-school, i only ever get 5 memories come to mind? what if sleeping in a cot(like an army cot), eating "wombat" stew, playing with a "rainbow snake" (it was like one of those tunnel things they run dogs through in competitions), dancing to "wiggly woo" and "agadoo", and seeing a rabbit pee on a teacher ?what if, oh, and eating sand ?what if i guess that's 6 then? what if, ah memories ?what if i need to find some lyrics for these "new" bowie songs? what if i'd very much like to know what "loving the alien" is about o.O? what if, still cold? --------------------------------------  | |||
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Scroller Needing Therapy |
What if I hope Heitie's answering of a personal ad all goes well? What if it's the start of a beautiful relationship? What if I have few pre school memories and I don't think any of them are nice ones? What if like being pushed out of line waiting to go on some sort of playground equipment and trying to recliam my place and the teacher only seeing that and sending me to the end of the line telling me to not push in? What if and also I seem to remember eating all my spaghetti for lunch and then someone else who didn't eat theirs putting their plate in front of me and the teachers thinking I hadn't eaten mine so I had to eat theirs? What if what a horrible time? What if it's why I'm so messed up in life? What if that scary teacher from Year 4 didn't help? What if she wasn't my teacher but we had a lesson with her every monday to learn Japanese stuff? What if she was very strict and yelled a lot and ridiculed me for getting a question wrong? What if how was I supposed to know Monday wasn't the first day of the week? What if she apparently has a metal hand now? o.o What if that mustn't help the poor children who have her as a teacher now, assuming she still is one? What if I can picture some kids talking quietly in her class and her coming up behind them and laying her claw on their shoulder? What if happy thoughts happy thoughts? What if I wish I was super excited about Rove tonight? What if I just get super excited because Madogis will be having fun? What if Pokèmon ended today? What if they claim the new series will be back soon though? What if soon in Cheez TV land is 3 years? What if they should just bring out like 20 disc box sets like DragonBall Z does? What if that'd be sweet? What if the Ducktales movie comes out on DVD tomorrow apparently? What if I love that movie? What if it's in my top 10 favourite movies? What if I even remember writing it down in an old "top 10 favourite movies" thread? What if I think that might have been before the last time the Scrolls crashed though? What if I'm listening to Chilly Down? What if I wonder if that desk Erin engraved is still at School? What if I had some pasta with a mushroom sauce for dinner? What if it was all rubbery like? What if I have chips cooking to combat the taste? ____________________  | |||
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| Besotted Scroller |
what if i found a book with an inscription from erin in it the other day? what if it almost sounded like she knew i was going to cut all ties with her? what if i drove by her street the other day and wondered if i'd still be welcome there? what if it's horrible how i abandon people? what if i just can't stand limbo? what if my two best friends that aren't salem - i haven't talked to then in months, possibly years? what if all my relationships are dead? what if a few leave lingerind sparks of possibility, but that only makes it worse? what if, 'cause of the limbo? what if i'm just not meant to have friends? what if, only well-wishers and casual aquaintences? what if you could only have aquaintences if you could spell the word? what if that would be so sad ?what if i move to LA and just camp outside a movie studio until someone asks me what i'm doing there? what if i say "GIVE ME A JOB!!" and nothing else? what if they do it and i'm happy forever? what if that would be nice ?what if i meet pretty and famous people and say "oh my god i LOVE your work!"? what if they say "just bring me my coffee"? what if it'll always be the dream ?-------------------------------------- | |||
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| Besotted Scroller |
what if ziggy played guitar? what if he didn't? what if, what's it to you, huh?? what if jesse didn't die ?what if robbie's moment wasn't as moving as it could have been? what if his girlfiend beat him up? what if i wonder if those "to violence against women, australia says NO" adds will think about saying something about violence against men now??? what if i'm so sick of the double standard? what if robbie was adorably adorable anyways ?what if i want one, very much so? what if, and a little kimmy on the side  ?what if robbie and tash are spending the night together, could get interestin' ?what if that makes me think of "10 against 1, could get pointless"? what if, but that thought has been washed out by the hypnotic power of "hallo spaceboy"? what if, if that's not a brain-washing song, i don't know what is? what if "ground to major bye bye tom" o.O? what if "do you like girls or boys? it's confusing these days, but moon dust will cover you..cover you.."? what if "this chaos is killing me"? what if i stop acting as a recruiting agent of the pet-shop/bowie allience and attempt to get back to my original train of thought? what if.....moondust...cover me...o_o? what if, oh good, it's over? what if, uh oh, space oddity - that's much worse ?what if robbie said he was "scared stiff"? what if it made me feel like i was that guy on fast forward that makes everything sound dirty ?what if *looking at a speed hump sign* "HAHA! HUMP! HAHAHA!" ?what if lol, did i mention how mature i was, ?-------------------------------------- | |||
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| Scroller Needing Therapy |
What if thanks, Salem? What if I need Paco to find a nice little apartment? What if the nighttime physical intimacy was (mostly) the only part of our relationship I wasn't really keen on, and now because someone else is, she gets to have all the other stuff as well? What if and this is after I've fixed all the crap that was wrong with him that I had to deal with for many years? What if I understand, and I wish him well, but it hurts like nothing else ever? What if and there have been some nasty, nasty elses? What if one would think that with the divorce 3 years behind me that I would be getting used to it by now? What if t'ain't happenin'? What if I want Paco here for family time, but really, really not here just before and after dating time? What if your ex-husband that you love and with whom you've shared 12 years and two children, coming in after a date smelling like her is...extraordinarily unpleasant, as it turns out? What if my house needs a new furnace and new windows and I don't even care, we need a Paco bachelor pad immediately? What if like, this week immediately? What if any advice on dealing with my current bizarre emotional state would be welcome? | |||
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Scroll Desperado |
what if separate living arrangements is defintely the way to go? what if beyond that, i have no real abilities to offer advice regarding bizarre emotional states? what if i do have lots of personal bizarre emotional state antecdotes however if you'd like to have a crack at advising me...? WHAT WOULD XENA DO?  are you sitting on the soap? sometimes, you just have to say 'what the f...' | |||
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| Scroller Needing Therapy |
What if thanks, I think so, too? What if one can't anticipate or know about these things until they jump right out and knock you down? What if then there's a lot of stomping? What if I hope I'd be better at advising others than I am at taking care of my own stuff? What if in the case of this particular my own stuff I'd almost have to be? | |||
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| Besotted Scroller |
what if spike was on rove ?what if he was hooooot ?what if that's a long "hot", not "hoot"? what if he was a hoot though ?what if i'm glad he's trying to quit somking also? what if yay him ?what if i'm sad that paco has to move out but i'm sure it's for the best? what if i don't imagine the smell thing would be pleasant at all? what if i again say that i'm not qualified to comment on anything, but i do hope that everything turns out for the best? what if time heals all wounds? what if, having never been wounded, and not having been here for any real amount of time, i wouldn't know if that's true or not, but it's a nice sentiment? what if i hope it's true for all concerned? what if i guess the only thing left to say is good luck? -------------------------------------- | |||
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| Scroller Needing Therapy |
What if thanks, Maddie? What if I very much appreciate the support? What if Paco just stopped by to pick up his thermos and we discussed budget a little while the coffee brewed? What if we haven't really had to budget for a while because, though he's not making millions, Paco's salary is about twice what we'd gotten used to 5 years ago? What if so it's relatively a lot, if not absolutely? What if it's been awesome, what with the being able to shop without freaking every time something costs $20? What if now of course that's all shot to hell? What if back to really, really, tight crappy budgeting? What if I should write a nice, marketable novel and/or a collection of my own short stories? What if I write romance novels to pay the bills a la what's-her-name in Lucifer Rising? What if that's the ticket? What if I knew Maddie meant "hot" but I read it as "hoot" anyway? | |||
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| Besotted Scroller |
what if i'm inordinately sleepy? what if, but i slept till 2pm and it's only midnight!? what if, not to freak anyone out, but does this mean that heitie will have to get an outside of the house kind of job, and if so, will the kids have to go to an outside kind of school? what if romance novels sound like a good option and also fun ?what if i've always thought that the story of your life would make an excellent best-seller? what if you could be the next author chosen by oprah's book club ?what if, then millions of people would have no choice but to buy the book, lest they be left out of the "in-crowd" ?what if i think i should have bought that dr. phil book, even though some of the stuff he says sounds like absolute crap? what if, but some stuff doesn't, so...yeah? what if i'm tired ?what if i have 3 options - sleep, computer, or tv? what if yep, there should still be good cartoons on at this time of the night? what if my cat is making noises? what if *sigh*? what if i'm still worried about the robbie site? what if i just can't stand being rejected when i don't know why ?what if LOVE ME!!!!>.<? what if i give it another day and if there's still no word from anyone, i reapply for membership? what if, at least then i'll know for sure that someone's aware there's a problem? what if i think i need to drink more water? what if maybe a little juice? what if perhaps a biscuit or two if i'm staying up? what if need to sneeze also? what if i had an urge to play pokemon staduim and use a steelix? what if, what a very strange urge indeed? what if "bright lights" - good name for a song, but not too pleasant on the eyes? what if, how ya goin'? what if...i'm walking? what if /o.o/? what if you really had to be there ?-------------------------------------- | |||
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| Scroller Needing Therapy |
What if I certainly hope my job status doesn't have to change? What if I just have to write more, is all? What if I should work on being productive rather than slow and really, really picky? What if we were talking about a now uncertain laptop computer for me so my work is faster and easier? What if I negotiate that before the budgeting begins? What if we lent the company several thousand dollars so you'd think we could get some of it back early? What if I've started to write the story of my life about 8 times? What if the end point keeps shifting dramatically? What if just when I think things are settled for a while it all up and changes? What if plus a lot of it's kind of emotional and I don't relish reliving it for months of editing? What if judging by what sells nowadays, it should take about an hour to write a pulp romance? What if that sounded very snotty, and I'm sure some of it's not so bad, but I read one a couple of years ago that was so awful my eyes went numb and I had to stop? What if I'm not really up to writing the steamier scenes, so maybe I'll do an "inspirational" romance? What if I actually started one last year but have been very words lazy? What if I've got something of a fire under me now, if only I can get out from under this new and unexpected giant foot of depression? | |||
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Scroll Guardian  |
What if I hate my computer? What if it needed more memory so I bought more memory and now it's 512 mb? What if so now my game should run for sure? What if but yeah, not so much? What if my processor isn't freakin' fast enough? What if and now XP won't even show my desktop or anything? What if god I hate computers? What if I need to buy a new one I suppose because the one I have now isn't near fast enought to run my City of Heroes game? What if that depresses me because my character is so hot and so cool? What if and it costs me to play the game every month online? What if *sigh*? What if I'm glad to be at work solely because there's a computer here? What if but I must get some work done? ____________________________  I <3 4 foot 11, blonde, operatic wonders from Oklahoma. There is no charge for awesomeness or attractiveness | |||
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| Scroller Needing Therapy |
What if it's your video card? | |||
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| Besotted Scroller |
what if i should probably turn the kitchen light out? what if because it's 1am and the neighbours' bedroom is quite close to our kitchen? what if yes, i'm one of those inconsiderate bastards you're always cursing ?what if i've chewed my finger into a right state i have? what if i came over all british for a second there? what if insomnia will do that too you? what if all the cartoons are gone ?what if i have to face stupid reality again? what if sleep is still an option? what if juice and or water is still a very good option? what if i'm surprised how well i've taken to these "new" bowie songs? what if cause most of them are not at all what i'd normally listen too? what if they're a certain kind of groove that i happen to dig? what if great, now i'm british AND from the 70's? what if i just got skyhooks' "living in the 70's" in my head? what if i did not need images of fluro orange flairs in my head right now? what if now "the man who sold the world"? what if it makes me want to buy the best of nirvana, if such a thing exists? what if i don't pretend to be a "fan", just a casual admirer? what if i know i like this song anyways? what if there are some really good bowie covers out there? what if something for kate singing "ashes to ashes" - *drool*? what if i heard someone on the radio singing "quicksand" as well, but i don't know enough about that song - i've only heard it once before? what if the band was asked what they like about bowie? what if "everything - his music, his voice, his clothes, his eye"? what if heh? what if so very sleepy, but now hungry also? what if this is not a good combination, particularly when the cartoons are all gone away? what if i get a light snack and go downstairs and watch home and away again? what if that would be neat ?what if ok, i'm goin, i'll see you all tomorrow ?-------------------------------------- | |||
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| Scroll Guardian |
What if actually Heitie, I have a good video card, but thanks? What if grrrr? What if tomorrow perhaps we can get it fixed? ____________________________ I <3 4 foot 11, blonde, operatic wonders from Oklahoma. There is no charge for awesomeness or attractiveness | |||
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Scroll Guardian |
What if xc's oldest bro is marrying an Aussie? What if some of the Aussie's here know xc's future sister-in-law? What if- don't all Aussies know all other Aussies anyway? What if xc's soon to be sis-in-law is related to an Aussie scroller? What if xc can't go to the wedding down under cuz Aussie law forbids anything so horrible terrible as xc from entering the country? What if that means all Aussies can breath a sigh of relief? | |||
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| Scroll Guardian |
What if I just watched a Heart Video today? What if from 1986, their Heart album videos? What if *drooooool?* What if yes I admit, I witheld watching or even listening to Heart for a good many years because I feared being reinfected by Ann Wilson-itis to the point of yes, breaking up with someone AGAIN over my fantasies of her? What if but naa that won't happen this time? What if--I don't THINK?(gasp) What if omg, the Nothin at All video was SOOOOOOOO hot? What if yes, Never and What About Love ESPECIALLY What About Love were---unbelievable? What if I'm sorely tempted to come to Dallas in September to see them? What if Sara and I go together and just have a drooling fest? What if the David Bowie thing is really incredible too? What if I don't know the new songs but am curious? What if I lurrrrve the old songs? What if two words--Hunky--Dory? What if "Oh You Pretty Things?" What if "Life on Mars?"(oooo baby) What if some tenor I know told me he used to hang out with Bowie on South street and tried to take credit for his singing by saying he taught him to breathe from the diaphram? What if I just smiled and nodded? What if--drool, pant--"MOVE ON?" Freakin Awesome tune! What if "And in the death as the last few corpses lay rotting in the summer sun?" What if "All the Madmen?" What if okay moving on--what about Ralph Feines as Voldemort? What if, if Alfonzo Cuaron were standing right next to me, I'd walk up to him, and whisper in his ear, like that guy did to Dustin Hoffman in the Graduate, "Johnny Depp?" What if Johnny would have made an excellent Snape too? What if okay I'll shut up now? "Even when you're down and blue, just remember that someone out there loves you, even if you don't know it and even if you haven't yet met them. There's someone out there waiting for you, remember that and keep faith. You'll get there." ~~Johnny Depp. | |||
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| Scroller Needing Therapy |
What if Sara updates all her drivers, just to be sure? What if my internet was down for about 11 hours today? What if not an altogether good day for that? What if although, I had a couple of very long, very emotional talks with Paco today? What if in the latter one he confessed some trysts about which he'd lied to me? What if directly lied? What if I understand why he lied, but it's going to take some getting used to? What if it's weird, when you hear stuff like that when you'd believed the other way all this time, the walls seem to be a little different color, the floor has a little different shine? What if things just shift a little? What if anyway, he came clean with everything, and I think I handled it alright? What if it's upsetting, but I'm glad we're clearing the air? What if he recommitted to being honest and promised not to lie to me again? What if I cannot stress enough how much I hate being lied to? What if plus the women he was with are a kind of needy/slutty mix and, again, alcohol was involved? What if thankfully so were latex condoms? What if at least he says so, and I mostly believe him, but I do have a bit of a trust thing now where he's concerned? What if I'm telling everyone my life's details in the hopes it'll help someone? What if I had no relationship experience whatsoever before Paco, and maybe I'd have been smarter or less naive if someone had told me a story like this? What if, on the up side, these confessions and my new and cloudy perception of Paco the man are helping me move from the deep, inner, ground-in-pain mourning stage right on up to the anger/bitterness stage? What if I didn't realize that I had to do the "getting over someone" stages, considering, but here they are, bright and shiny? What if "what the hell was I thinking??" is right around the corner? What if after that I can hopefully focus on our friendship and parenting without so much residual relationship crap everywhere? What if plus he found an apartment today, though it won't be ready until August? What if he's agreed to be very considerate while we're in this transition state; not talking to her on the phone near me, not coming in smelling like her, etc? What if there are hotels and there's a shower at her place, it'll do for one month? What if he told the nice real estate lady our situation (his company has worked with her several times) and she said "oh, I'm a lesbian, too"? What if heh? What if I ask if she can fix me up? What if it's my turn, dammit? | |||
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| Scroller Needing Therapy |
What if now that the intitial shock of his confessions is wearing off it's looking like I might be more upset about it than I'd thought? What if crap? What if, in addition to everything else, now I have to grieve for the honest, old-fashioned person I thought he was? What if that person's probably in there someplace, but...I don't know, it's kind of a lot all at once? What if just when I was feeling better, too? | |||
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| Scroll Guardian |
What if, Heitie I totally hear ya, I hate bein lied to too? What if but at least you're talkin it out now and you're workin it thru? What if, and kudos, I myself am not capable of staying friends with an ex much less living with them? What if take it easy girl I know you'll be all right? "Even when you're down and blue, just remember that someone out there loves you, even if you don't know it and even if you haven't yet met them. There's someone out there waiting for you, remember that and keep faith. You'll get there." ~~Johnny Depp. | |||
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| Scroller Needing Therapy |
What if a few words can certainly give someone a good boost toward thinking positively? What if thank you? | |||
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