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Scroller Needing Therapy
Picture of Salem
posted Hide Post
What if I got a haircut today?

What if I felt bad because I had a blocked nose and my voice had that sick sound too it, so I was being less responsive than I usually am at the hairdressers?

What if the lady cutting my hair had to lower the seat because I was too tall for her?

What if I was practically sitting on the floor?

What if I felt like a big idiot?

What if the owner looks oddly like Gina Reily?

---------------


Don't be so hard on yourself my friend. You lost the woman of your dreams, but you still have Zoidberg. You all still have Zoidberg!
 
Posts: 3209 | Location: Australia | Registered: 22 June 2003Report This Post
Scroller Needing Therapy
Picture of Salem
posted Hide Post
What if, ugh, again with the starting of a new page?

---------------


Don't be so hard on yourself my friend. You lost the woman of your dreams, but you still have Zoidberg. You all still have Zoidberg!
 
Posts: 3209 | Location: Australia | Registered: 22 June 2003Report This Post
Scroll Guardian

Picture of Smirk Morgan
posted Hide Post
What if I really need a new hair do?

What if I cut it short and choppy?

What if I got it professionally colored?

What if I just left it as it is right now...summer blonde as faded out from Loreal's Red Penny?



So speak to me
Just like you should
And then you can say those wicked things
And if you want
We'll make it good
Before my mood swings

"My Mood Swings"
Elvis Costello
 
Posts: 2306 | Location: DFW | Registered: 24 June 2003Report This Post
Scroll Nightmare
Picture of Cora
posted Hide Post
What if so I cracked and bought it?

What if well I lasted a few days?

What if this surprises no one?

What if I only watched the special features?

What if MY GOD WHAT if orli wearing?

What if no matter still would jump him?

What if the video game sounds cool?

What if hmm Hair cut might be a good idea?

What if I always feel untalkative when I go?

What if I just dont like telling people my life story?

What if maybe cause its boring?

-----------------------------
'Lonely rivers flow to the sea,to the sea,To the open arms of the sea. Lonely rivers sigh, wait for me,wait for me,I'll be coming home, wait for me.'

'The Road goes ever on and on
Out from the door where it began. Now far ahead the Road has gone,Let others follow it who can!Let them a journey new begin,But I at last with weary feetWill turn towards the lighted inn, My evening-rest and sleep to meet.'
 
Posts: 428 | Location: Canada | Registered: 23 June 2003Report This Post
Scroller Needing Therapy
Picture of Salem
posted Hide Post
What if I feel strange?

What if I feel like I'm possessed by Madogis?

What if - ?

what if i haven't been able to what if for about three days?

what if that sucks beyond all reason?

what if i have to get salem to do it for me?

what if the hills are not alive?

what if i'm sorry to hear that?

what if the people on the footy show are going to have all kinds of animals rights people on their asses?

what if especially thise for the ethical treatment of cockroaches?

what if i just payed my uni fees?

what if what's the point in paying fees if i no longer have propper internet access?

what if damn the uni, damn the internet, and damn bill gates!!!?

what if as such, i haven't been able to email heitie ina while?

what if sorry heitie?

what if hang in there, we'll be on oprah before you know it?

what if, but only if i can turn you into some sort of talking rodent - possibly a suirrel - witha sassy, kick-butt attitude?

what if very few people know what i'm actually talking about, but i suspect it doesn't matter?

what if my neck is twitching in an alarming fashion a s i try to make up for days upon days of what iffing in about five minutes flat?

what if argh! - my tuping hand!?

what if heh, "tuping"?

what if, but still, i think my shoulders are seperateing so i should probably calm down a bit?

what if, well, i'll try to see you all on monday?

what if, that is, if the son of a flirking shnit computers let me?

what if sorry, it's my problem, i'll deal with it?

what if, ok, bye?

What if, okay, I feel unpossessed by Madogis now?

What if that was pretty strange?

---------------


Don't be so hard on yourself my friend. You lost the woman of your dreams, but you still have Zoidberg. You all still have Zoidberg!
 
Posts: 3209 | Location: Australia | Registered: 22 June 2003Report This Post
Scroll Guardian

Picture of Smirk Morgan
posted Hide Post
What if it's rather unusual for a man to feel a woman inside him?

What if it's not that unusual for those in touch with their feminine side?

What if Salem feels pretty?

What if wants to dye the white dress his sister-in-law made him red?

What if he shouldn't fall in love with Tony?

What if he goes to the dance and finds John Astin acting as master of ceremonies?

What if he starts snapping his fingers?



So speak to me
Just like you should
And then you can say those wicked things
And if you want
We'll make it good
Before my mood swings

"My Mood Swings"
Elvis Costello
 
Posts: 2306 | Location: DFW | Registered: 24 June 2003Report This Post
Scroller Needing Therapy
Picture of Salem
posted Hide Post
What if Nora has gone completely insane?

What if i'm sure it makes some sense, but it goes straight over my head?

What if it's just her usual drunken babble?

What if heh heh?

What if guess what everybody?

What if I finished the Ocarina of Time today!?

What if woohoo!?

What if fighting Ganondorf didn't start off to well, what with me standing right next to him and him continuously doing shock wave attacks?

What if I defeated him anyway?

What if I thought after I escaped the collapsing tower, I'd be finished?

What if how wrong I was?

What if he turned into a giant almost pigish monster?

What if much screaming in my head followed?

What if I found him much easier than his original form?

What if at one stage I almost fell off my chair trying to get Link to jump?

What if I defeated him and finished the game?

What if congratulations to me!?

---------------


Don't be so hard on yourself my friend. You lost the woman of your dreams, but you still have Zoidberg. You all still have Zoidberg!
 
Posts: 3209 | Location: Australia | Registered: 22 June 2003Report This Post
Scroll Desperado
Picture of zoom
posted Hide Post
what if ths is the end of a long, hard week?

what if not as long and hard as it could have been?

what if woo-hoo 3-day weekend?

what if, well, not a big 'woo-hoo' cuz there's a lot of painting & general home repair on the agenda?

what if woo-hoo when it's done?

what if a University of Texas football game on Sunday will break the monotony?

what if i mispelled 'University" 4 times and 'monotony' 3 times trying to type that last what if?

what if no one is surprised?

what if i met 'the gang' at the sportsbar last night to watch a Titans preseason game?

what if i love my rag-tag gang of Titans buds?

what if we're like the Scrollers of football fans?

what if smart, funny, weird, and oddly drawn together by a common passion?

WHAT WOULD XENA DO?

are you sitting on the soap?

 
Posts: 5103 | Location: Austin Texas, baby | Registered: 22 June 2003Report This Post
Scroll Stalker
Picture of Shawn
posted Hide Post
What if I am intrigued by Arista?

What if this means nothing in particular, she just seems like a cool person?

What if I want it to rain so that I can take my dirt bike out and get seriously muddy?

What if heating a cylinder head to remove a frozen piston cracks the bucket, but no worries because we have extra jugs?

What if a mouse decides that an old air intake is a great place to make a home?

What if said mouse uses the carburetor as a storage cellar and thoroughly mucks it up?

What if Survivor starts on Sept 18th?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anyone, caught in your mystery
Keep it angry
Keep it wispy
I've fallen down
Drunk on your juices
Turn my head
It's aimed at you
 
Posts: 1673 | Location: everywhere, nowhere at all | Registered: 23 June 2003Report This Post
Scroller Needing Therapy
Picture of Fahrenheit
posted Hide Post
What if I had a fa-reaky dream last night?

What if I should put it in the dream thread but it was so long and complicated I don't know if I can?

What if I wish I had extra jugs?

What if I wondered why I hadn't heard from Maddie?

What if I assumed I was too weird?

What if I wonder if I'd like football if I had a group?

What if someday my babies will be old enough for me to have a group?

What if they're my group?

What if I've seen The Group three times?

What if I don't really like it, but it pulls you in with its drama and its early 60s wardrobe?

What if yay! Salem won!?

What if I doubt I'd enjoy battling a pigish monster?

What if my transmission keeps slipping (or making a clunky noise, whatever that's called) and I want my ex-husband to change the filter?

What if he feels that the filter that sat in the transmission out in the weather for 2 years after having been used for goodness knows how long couldn't possibly be the problem?

What if well, why don't we change it and find out?

What if at least it might help less damage to happen until we can get it serviced?

---------------------------------
You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.
--Homer Simpson
 
Posts: 2989 | Registered: 22 June 2003Report This Post
Scroll Nightmare
Picture of Cora
posted Hide Post
What if my brother just came home?

What if I havent seen him in 2 months?

What if its weird that I missed him?

What if YAY salem?

What if I actually played my game?

What if if only I had the time?

What if my fingers feel greasy?

What if I have to sponge bob song in my head?

What if hes so stupid. I almost find it funny?

What if no one else understands me?

What if I wanted to buy season 2 of futurama yesterday?

What if there was none in the store?

What if ah well I dont have the money anyways?

What if that sucks?

-----------------------------
'Lonely rivers flow to the sea,to the sea,To the open arms of the sea. Lonely rivers sigh, wait for me,wait for me,I'll be coming home, wait for me.'

'The Road goes ever on and on
Out from the door where it began. Now far ahead the Road has gone,Let others follow it who can!Let them a journey new begin,But I at last with weary feetWill turn towards the lighted inn, My evening-rest and sleep to meet.'
 
Posts: 428 | Location: Canada | Registered: 23 June 2003Report This Post
Scroll Guardian

posted Hide Post
What if I had many what ifs to catch up on?

What if I have comments and responses to many?

What if but now right now cause I am soooo tired?

What if cause 4 hours sleep?

What if cause Jimmy Buffet concert last night?

What if wooo hoo !!?

What if the only comments I can manage are the following:

quote:
Originally posted by Heitie:

What if I wish I had extra jugs?



What if I *so* read that out of context and sleep deprived and giggled?

What if I wanna play Scrabble now cause you all make it sound like fun?

What if not ,like, now now...again, too tired?

What if when you're a Jet you're a Jet all the way?

What if I just threw that last what if in there to prove that Nora isn't crazy or beer induced babbling?
 
Posts: 2164 | Location: USA | Registered: 23 June 2003Report This Post
Scroller Needing Therapy
Picture of Fahrenheit
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by lila997:
What if I *so* read that out of context and sleep deprived and giggled?



What if you probably read it in the correct context?

What if or at least close?

What if unless you mean those brown moonshine jugs with XXX on them that people play in a hayseed band?

What if because that's not what I meant?

What if I hope nobody's offended by "hayseed"?

---------------------------------
You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.
--Homer Simpson
 
Posts: 2989 | Registered: 22 June 2003Report This Post
Scroller Needing Therapy
Picture of Fahrenheit
posted Hide Post
What if people read my "Take a look" post in Fight Club?

What if it's about GMO foods?

What if the whole messy thing pisses me off, not just that one article?

What if I hope more people get pissed off about it?

What if they're feeding us things that they have no idea the consequences of?

What if one of the modifications is to make a plant produce its own pesticide?

What if hello? that's a poison?

What if it's meant for bugs but can you put bugspray on your food without it doing any harm?

What if I'm going to the healthfood store tomorrow and buying more stuff than I really need so I can help out the organic people?

---------------------------------
You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.
--Homer Simpson
 
Posts: 2989 | Registered: 22 June 2003Report This Post
Scroll Guardian

Picture of Smirk Morgan
posted Hide Post
What if I bought a toaster tonight?

What if I had to make toast right away?

What if I toasted rye and made a pastrami sandwich?

What if the toaster is good?

What if that makes me ridiculously happy because I had a crappy toaster I held onto for five years?

What if the new toaster only cost me $20, so holding on to the junky toaster was silly?

What if that isn't the first silly thing I've done and won't be the last silly thing?

What if Lila has met my good friend Salem, the most beautiful girl in the world?

What if she knew him when she met him because he's totally out of his mind?



So speak to me
Just like you should
And then you can say those wicked things
And if you want
We'll make it good
Before my mood swings

"My Mood Swings"
Elvis Costello
 
Posts: 2306 | Location: DFW | Registered: 24 June 2003Report This Post
Scroll Guardian


SCROLLER AND
INSTIGATOR OF
THE MONTH

Scroller and Instigator


posted Hide Post
What if Salem's last 2 words have been tits and crotch?

What if I think we need to band together and send him to see a professional.. and not a therapist?

========================

Leo: Hey, you want to freeze me in bed for your own personal pleasure, that is fine, but freezing Natalie is not gonna make her or the Elders happy.
 
Posts: 4830 | Location: Michelle @ work | Registered: 22 June 2003Report This Post
Scroll Guardian


SCROLLER AND
INSTIGATOR OF
THE MONTH

Scroller and Instigator


posted Hide Post
What if Salem just said. 'this is going to be like the game with me and Argy, tit's everywhere?

What if i have decided they must have played strip scrabble?

========================

Leo: Hey, you want to freeze me in bed for your own personal pleasure, that is fine, but freezing Natalie is not gonna make her or the Elders happy.
 
Posts: 4830 | Location: Michelle @ work | Registered: 22 June 2003Report This Post
Scroll Guardian


SCROLLER AND
INSTIGATOR OF
THE MONTH

Scroller and Instigator


posted Hide Post
What if my first word is contest, i used all my letters and got 47 points?

What if my second word i did phonetic, used all my letters, got the 3 word score and got 68 points?

What if salem is very annoyed that the game is 115 to 16?

========================

Leo: Hey, you want to freeze me in bed for your own personal pleasure, that is fine, but freezing Natalie is not gonna make her or the Elders happy.
 
Posts: 4830 | Location: Michelle @ work | Registered: 22 June 2003Report This Post
Scroll Guardian


SCROLLER AND
INSTIGATOR OF
THE MONTH

Scroller and Instigator


posted Hide Post
What if I won 287 - 139?

What if i got to bed now?

========================

Leo: Hey, you want to freeze me in bed for your own personal pleasure, that is fine, but freezing Natalie is not gonna make her or the Elders happy.
 
Posts: 4830 | Location: Michelle @ work | Registered: 22 June 2003Report This Post
Scroller Needing Therapy
Picture of Salem
posted Hide Post
What if that really sucked, for me anyway?

What if oh well?

What if movies with sad endings should be outlawed?

What if there was some movie on TV last night called Here On Earth or something like that, and the ending made me sad?

What if I didn't appreciate being put in a depressed mood?

What if it had me so upset that I actually got up, went down stairs and watched an episode of Futurama on DVD to cheer me up?

What if I watched the same episode again straight afterwards but with the commentary playing?

What if I haven't listened to most of the commentaries yet?

What if I should, because they're quite humerous?

What if someone (it's confusing trying to pick out who is who) was saying John DiMaggio (Bender) just offended all the writers of Futurama with his comment about a fan who was talking to him about being the dungeon master in dungeons and dragons?

What if <insert Bender laugh here>?

---------------


Don't be so hard on yourself my friend. You lost the woman of your dreams, but you still have Zoidberg. You all still have Zoidberg!
 
Posts: 3209 | Location: Australia | Registered: 22 June 2003Report This Post
Scroller Needing Therapy
Picture of Salem
posted Hide Post
What if AAAHAHAHA TAKE THAT GOHDAN! I FINALLY BEAT YOU!!! AAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!?

What if, please forgive me, but I just defeated the STUPID boss in the Tower of the Gods in The Wind Waker that I got stuck on MONTHS ago?

What if that's when I stopped playing so I could play through the Ocarina of Time?

What if I didn't even need to use a fairy or have any soup to heal me while fighting!?

What if sure, I only had a quarter of a heart left but still?

What if <insert Link's happy dance here>?

---------------


Don't be so hard on yourself my friend. You lost the woman of your dreams, but you still have Zoidberg. You all still have Zoidberg!
 
Posts: 3209 | Location: Australia | Registered: 22 June 2003Report This Post
Scroll Stalker
Picture of Shawn
posted Hide Post
What if holy shit Shawn is posting from home?

What if I mowed the yard this morning and have now been dragging ass all day?

What if we played Scribbage last night?

What if no one knows what that is?

What if you roll a cup of lettered dice then make as many words as you can out of those letters while also trying to make the most points in a little hour glass timed way?

What if that was confusing?

What if said lettered dice had point values like Scrabble?

What if not Boggle or Yatzee, but Scribbage?

What if we are supposed to get a cold front Sunday that will drop our temps to the high 80's?

What if Central Texas can feel like the 10th circle of Hell on many an August day?

What if I have a big ol' Chocolate Lab looking at me asking for a cookie?

What if she will get you a beer from the fridge to get her cookie?

What if that can be a pain when she also starts to bring mustard, cola, etc because she thinks that will get her another cookie?

What if you have to take the towel off of the fridge door so she cant open it any more?

What if she will then try the oven since it too has a towel?

What if ?

What if, "Thank you Mr. Giant Taco Salad Inventor"?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anyone, caught in your mystery
Keep it angry
Keep it wispy
I've fallen down
Drunk on your juices
Turn my head
It's aimed at you
 
Posts: 1673 | Location: everywhere, nowhere at all | Registered: 23 June 2003Report This Post
Scroll Guardian

posted Hide Post
What if awww, chocolate lab should meet Casey?

What if ummm... or may not since choc-o-lab may teach Casey naughty fridge opening tricks?

What if the idea of Casey having th ability to help herself to food frightens me?

What if yay for posting from home- is this a first???
 
Posts: 2164 | Location: USA | Registered: 23 June 2003Report This Post
Scroller Needing Therapy
Picture of Fahrenheit
posted Hide Post
What if from home? neat!?

What if that whole dog thing sounds hilarious?

What if largely, I'm sure, because I don't have to put away the mustard, etc?

What if I bought organic chocolate today?

What if white and also the dark one with the tangerine in it?

What if Heitie's in a little piece of heaven right now?

What if also the kids' favorite organic cereal was on sale, so that's an extra boost?

What if I'm on some kind of healthy shopping high?

What if I sing that a la John Denver?

What if I don't know what to put in place of the "Coloradoooooo" part?

What if Salem is a mad, mad video game player?

What if I wonder if they call them "video games" still?

What if because PacMan was a "video game" and these ain't PacMan?

What if I wonder if Salem's ever played PacMan?

What if there's probably a hyphen in that but I have organic chocolate so I don't care?

---------------------------------
You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.
--Homer Simpson

[This message was edited by Heitie on 30 August 2003 at 08:23 PM.]
 
Posts: 2989 | Registered: 22 June 2003Report This Post
Scroller Needing Therapy
Picture of Salem
posted Hide Post
What if I have a message from Ame?

"What if how rude for no one to tell me what a brilliant Scrabble player I am? *cries*"

What if I'm addicted to games?

What if I can go months without playing anything, but then when I start up again it eats up all my time?

What if I have played PacMan?

What if I'm no good at it though?

What if now I'm thinking of the second What If episode of Futurama where Fry wonders What if life was like a video game, and at one point they are in a PacMan game?

What if Zoidberg eats Fry?

What if eh hehehe?

What if awww, what a cute lab?

What if I'm not sure on how to spell Labrador?

What if I should know because I used to have one?

---------------


Don't be so hard on yourself my friend. You lost the woman of your dreams, but you still have Zoidberg. You all still have Zoidberg!
 
Posts: 3209 | Location: Australia | Registered: 22 June 2003Report This Post
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