yes, it's me, the limericking lout
i haven't forgotten what this thread's about
it'a about giving a spank
to that bardy blonde skank
whose name we so often hear Xena shout.

I've been playing the playstation game
I have to say, parts can be lame
I don't want to be brittle
But its great we see Gabby so little
We need Xena by herself fame

I tried to talk to Amethyst
But she cut me off - what a pest!
I'm on to her game
She will log back on AIM
And see that my chatting is best!

You can run, but you can't hide from me
I am Little Miss Chatter, you see
I can talk half the night
Until it turns light
And then talk some more eating breaky

I do not like to group chat
I cannot take much of that
Too much is said
For my poor old head
It turns me into an old bat

If I have you on my AIM
Your life will not be the same
We will talk about stuff
If you add me - tough!
You've only your own self to blame

I like to chat with the Aussies
In Summer they're all wearing cozzies
And having some barbies
They get Chrissy pressies
While swatting away those darn mozzies

you know, i have a small wish
which now i'm just about to dish
i wonder if there is a way
to get these Aussies to say
what they mean in simple English!

A "barbie" is a bar-be-que
"Mozzie" is mosquito, to you
Swimming costumes are "cozzies"
We decorate our "Chrissy" trees
Presents are "pressies" - will that do?

It is the election tomorrow
The parties all feel me with sorrow
Coalition is dumb
ALP makes me glum
For all the Lib's platforms they borrow

My Nanna is no longer here
When I heard the news it was clear
Her pain is all gone
Now she can move on
That fragile, yet tough, little dear

If I should go without warning
I hope there is not much mourning
Throw me a wake
With the money you'll make
When my Xena gear's up for pawning

Just how long can this thread be?
It is now frightening me
Do all of you
Have nought better to do
Than posting rhymes here for free?

ArgoNaut has come on back
She's been off learnin' - how slack!
We've all kept writing
And trolling and fighting
Now she'll get this place back on track

A limerick here every day
Will keep the trolls all at bay
I've done so many
That I won't see any
More trolls in my life time, hooray!

I fixed my old comp today
So now I can use it - HOORAY!
I feel such a dolt
It was my own fault
That it got all broke anyway

what's happened to you, Miss Argy?
you seem to have gone on a spree.
was it an insatiateable whim
that caused you to lim?
i thought these things only happened to me!

I wrote many lims here, it's true
I had nothing better to do
Than sit here all night
And get the rhymes right
Now lets see the Clan write a few

Just a warning that Stace asked for a dirty poem, so don't read it if easily shocked.
(to celebrate the fact that Stace is very close to having her thesis and exams finished..YAY)

Here is a dirty lim for Stace
Let me shake my boobs in your face
All clan members do a dance
Do a strip, take off your underpants
Look there's Sara wearing see through lace

I got the Xena calender for 2002
All i can say is YABBA DABBA DO
I searched far and wide
Then went to hornsby with mum by my side
Border books had it and there was more than just a few

Argy we should take a trip to Canberra to see Stace
Then of course watch Xena and get drunk all over the place
We'll drive down in one of our cars
Take Jess she likes to travel far
AHHHH and then with Stace.. we'll get Shit Face

Gabby has done some dumb things
Like wearing a sack with some strings
Or thinking she's pretty
Or sexy, or witty
But it's not as bad as when she sings

Perdicus is under-rated
His head is never inflated
He's big and he's tough
And he is oh so gruff
But on the Subtexans he grated

Ame is the best Aussie hottie
She has a nice firm, round bottie
Looks good in her cossie
An all round great Aussie
But her mouth is quite like an old potty

How would it change the show "Buffy"
If her name was changed to, say, Muffy?
Could she still kill?
Or would she stand still
And let Willow do her witch stuff - eeeee!!